hcg pregnancy weight loss
Pregnancy Over 40, Do Not Ask If Youve Considered Adoption
I mean no disrespect to those who are considering adoption or to those who have already adopted.Its just that when I was trying so hard to get pregnant, if someone said "have you considered adoption?" it was absolutely devastating. First of all, I never considered adoption. Its not because I have anything against it, its just that I had already been on such a roller coaster ride of ups and downs with infertility and miscarriage, I couldnt even imagine starting a whole new process of paperwork, social workers, home visits, and a birth mother. I just wanted to smack whoever said "have you considered adoption"?
SEE ALSO: SHARING INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR INFERTILITY (getpregnantover40.com)
Ok, enough ranting, its just that when youre certain that you can succeed in getting pregnant, having someone suggest adoption is a slap in the face. Its almost like theyre telling you that you need to move on and "give it up". I kept my struggle with infertility and miscarriage very private for this very reason. I didnt want unsolicited advice. One person who suggested adoption to me was a physician assistant who I saw after one of my miscarriages. She was a quite rough around the edges and bit of a loose cannon. There I was grieving my lost pregnancy and instead of saying something truly consoling, her adoption comment left me feeling like I was at the end of the road. I never went back to that clinic and I now always insist on seeing a doctor, not a PA.
Anyway, I should mention that Ive known many people who have happily adopted. I know people whove adopted older children, I known people whove done foreign adoptions, and Ive seen many open adoptions where the birth mother is very much a part of the childs life. It can work beautifully. Its just that considering adoption needs to be your decision. Every person/couple struggling with infertility knows that adoption is an option. I guess most people who ask if youve considered it just want to help. Let them know that you understand your options and youll arrive at your own decision when the time is right.
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