vlcc post pregnancy weight loss
Hmmmm, I dont want you to get the wrong impression of me. Im not a trouble maker. Honest. Trouble just seems to find me. And in this case, it found me and my daughters pushchair.
Now, maybe I should start by saying that I am not exactly the best pushchair driver. I may or may not have caught peoples heels, ran over their feet and once nearly took a pensioner out. But, I can assure you these were all genuine mishaps and I profusely apologised afterwards. I even called a cab for the pensioner so they could go to A&E (joke!). But, I feel now my daughter is two and a half, I have earned a proficiency in pushchair management and I can expertly do a quick three point turn single handedly, whilst simultaneously keeping an eye on the sale item I need to get to before the other woman does, all whilst singing the wheels on the bus.
But, alas. This tale is not about how sh*t-hot I am at driving the pushchair. No sir. This is about the goodwill of the shopping population. Sorry. Did I say goodwill? I meant fury and hate towards pushchair drivers! I popped into town last week and I got cut up, bashed, tutted at and blatantly blocked. My crime? Having a pushchair. I thought we were gearing up for the season of goodwill? More like blood spill.
I completely understand that the shops are busy. That there isnt much room. That people are busy. And the last thing people want is me, the pushchair, and my daughter with her arms like an aeroplane, very helpfully touching every single thing that her little hands can touch (read: EVERY SINGLE THING...this includes walking sticks, shop merchandise, bags and furry coats especially). I get that. But please. Give me a break.
I am a human too. I am trying to do my Christmas shopping too. Did I already say I am human too? As I was in one shop, the queue to get out of the shop suddenly backed up. A cashier piped up loudly that pushchairs were the bane of her life!!!! I wasnt even causing the kerfuffle! Someone had dropped their wallet in front of me! So I whizzed round, lifted my daughter up, who then karate kicked the woman in the face in the style of Kill Bill. Ok. That didnt happen. But I may have thought it. Though I do not condone any sort of violence towards shop assistants. But how mean of her to say that!
Where are peoples understanding and love? They have clearly traded them in for the most wanted Frozen merchandise.
If anything, I think shoppers should applaud me. And maybe cheer as I stroll by. Yeah you go Laura! Yes, you can do it! I mean I not only have to remember my shopping list because my daughter ate it in the first shop. But I also have to run from one side of the shopping centre to the other so my daughter can go to the toilet (she does this at the precise mathematical moment that I am the furthest away from them- the girl is a genius). I am also steering, dodging people trying to get me to switch energy suppliers, working out what to actually buy and thinking what to cook for tea. Go me!
So please, lets all show a little love to one another this Christmas time. Yes, we are all busy. Yes, it can be stressful. But lets give a break to the mums with pushchairs. And because if you dont I may just unleash my inner Kill Bill moves and Baba will drop kick you out of the shop. After, that is, she has stroked your furry coat.(Not that I condone violence in any way).
Happy shopping everyone! :-)
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