baby losing weight in nicu | Feeding little guys

baby losing weight in nicu

I went to my twin group meeting the other day and there were lots of questions about feeding toddlers, not to mention all the posts on mommy boards and discussions with my girlfriends. We are all asking, "How do you get toddlers to eat?"

Short answer: I dont know.

Toddlers are fickle. We jokingly call one of my boys a fruitarian, stolen from the movie "Notting Hill." Hugh Grant goes on a series of blind dates and one of the women turns down food because she is a "fuitarian." When Hugh Grant asks what that is, she explains, "We believe that fruits and vegetables have feeling so we think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that have actually fallen off a tree or bush-- that are, in fact, dead already." We think O wants to eat more, but he isnt certain of the origins of his food. Did the milk fall on its own accord from the cows udder? Did these apples fall willingly off an organic apple tree? So many questions need to be answered before he can dive in to lunch.

If youve been following my blog regarding schedules, you know that one of my first thoughts is what I as a mother and full-time caretaker am willing to do. What fits in with the rest of the family? Here is what I realized:

1. I do not want to make individual meals for each of the family members, toddlers included.
2. I do not want to eat chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese every night.
3. I want my kids to be familiar with and willing to try different foods.

Number 4 is something my husband and I decided years ago, even before we had kids. Dinnertime is family time. We eat dinner together at the the table and we want our kids to participate in that as well-- toddlers included.

My last thought before I drew up a game plan was the boys health. Toddlers grow in spurts, where as the first year was a lot more constant growing. Sometimes they have bursts where they cant get enough food; sometimes they dont want any food. These guys arent losing weight. They are growing normally. Their pediatrician is happy with their growth and I am thankful to have a pediatrician who supports my family feeding plan. I always discuss my decisions with the pediatrician before I "stick to something." To be specific about their weight, at their 12-month check-up they weighed 24 lbs 0.5 oz and 23 lbs 12.5 oz. At their 15-month check-up they weighed 24 lbs 10.5 oz and 24 lbs 15.5 oz. At their 18-month check-up they weighed 25 lbs 8 oz and 26 lbs 2 oz. They have their 2-year check-up coming soon, but they weigh roughly 27 lbs each, give or take.

After talking with my pediatrician, this is what Ive decided: if they dont eat, they dont eat.

Im going to quote from one of my favorite cookbooks, The Petit Appetit Cookbook: Easy Organic Recipes to Nurture Your Baby and Toddler by Lisa Barnes, pg 171:

If you provide different foods, some familiar and some unfamiliar, they are likely to eat something. If they do not eat any of the options, that is their choice. Nutritionists advise to let them wait until the next meal or snack time rather than prepare special foods. Do not allow the table to become a battleground, if possible. This is a test of wills-- yours and the childs. Some will push, beg, and whine to get what they want. Parents have to decide what kind of eating habits and dining atmosphere they want to develop.

This wasnt much of a leap for us. We started the babies on a schedule when they were roughly 10 weeks old using Suzy Giordanos book 12 Hours by 12 Weeks: A Step by Step Plan for Baby Sleep Success. As babies transition from bottle feeding to spoon feeding to self feeding, the lines start blurring. Did they eat enough? Do they not like this food? And then you start considering to feed them in between mealtimes or give them a food you know they will like. A pattern forms and suddenly you have a toddler who knows that if he kicks and screams, you will take away the plate in front of him and give him a peanut butter and jelly with a mandarin orange. We find all sorts of reasons why our kids are "picky eaters" when most of the time it is because we cave to their demands.

Now, I really dont want you thinking my kids eat everything, because they do not. I understand kids can be strange about textures. Our "fruitarian" usually refuses to eat meat without trying it. Our other toddler devours meat and pasta and avoids anything green. Our four-year old will take a look at something and say it is "hot" or "spicy" or "what is this? I dont like it" without even trying it. We also have received a taste of peer pressure this year. This is our oldests first year in preschool and he demands a half of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich-- cut in half, not folded in half-- in his lunch almost every day; hes also started avoiding crusts, a habit he has never had before preschool. All of our boys are strange about rice; I see them jab at it and decide the best way to go about eating it before giving up completely. When I try to spoon feed it to them, the toddlers scrape it off their tongues-- a charming practice to observe.

I also dont want you to think that Ive laid down the gauntlet and, hell or high water, this is how it is. Every rule demands exceptions. With our oldest, his first two years were the exception. My husband was underway most of the time. I PCSd twice by myself, not to mention staying with my parents for several months before moving to Hawaii-- alone, of course. He breastfed on demand. He slept in bed with me. I still remember my girlfriend catching me feeding him chocolate pudding for breakfast (a fact she has not forgotten). Most of the time, he and I just shared a plate for our meals. You do what you have to do. When we moved to North Carolina, things settled down. We were able to get into a functional rhythm and my husband was home every night. I transitioned our oldest from a "grazer" (eating when we were hungry, regardless of mealtimes) to a 3 meals a day with a snack schedule. It didnt happen overnight, but it did happen. Our family schedule has been steady since the babies were born. Though my husbands schedule is very busy and stressful, he is home every night. I can call him if I need reinforcements. We did not make exceptions to the feeding schedule during the babies first year, even with family in town. The only time we allowed them to go off the schedule a bit was when they werent feeling well. If they ate most of their bottle and needed more sooner, we conceded. Once they started solids, we became more fluid (I like that sentence). If we had family in town for the weekend and we wanted the babies happy, we let them eat banana puree for all their meals. If we were going out to eat at a restaurant and we wanted the kids happy, we let them snack on Cheerios. If the doctor was keeping us waiting longer than usual, I gave them a bag of baby food (Ellas Kitchen and Earths Best were life savers). I will note that we did not let them go completely off schedule for days at a time. With the two of them, we made exceptions; we tried really hard not to let these become habits.

And now we have full-fledged toddlers. The babies are almost two! I wrote a blog post before about how hard it was to transition from worrying about premature babies and their food intake to just taking care of babies (read "Light at the end of the schedule"). So how do I feed them? What do I feed them? How do I make them eat? After all these disclaimers and back stories, here is what I do: I make what I want to cook. I highly recommend reading Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman. I love her mentality of raising children who fit into our family-- not centering our family entirely around the needs of baby.

When I cook meals for the family, I think about what my husband and I want to eat. I am not a good cook and rely entirely on recipes. I get most of my recipes out of Homemade: Irresistible Recipes for Every Occasion by Clodagh McKenna, The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Recipes from an Accidental Country Girl by Ree Drummond, and-- more recently-- Southern Livings cookbooks Feel Good Food and Big Book of Slow Cooking: 200 Fresh Wholesome Recipes-- Ready and Waiting. Im also a huge fan of "Real Simple."

 

We have been trying to make healthier choices as a family, cutting out preservatives and leaning towards whole foods (read "One year: dinnertime, feeding babies, and schedules"). This fresh approach naturally allows one or two flavors to be prevalent in each dish, like the herbs in Ree Drummonds Perfect Pot Roast or the Parmesan in Clodagh McKennas risotto. When I make something entirely new, like the pea soup the other day, I serve it with something familiar, like macaroni and cheese. I left our baby-sitter with these and one of the toddlers ate his bowl as well as his brothers bowl (the other toddler refused to touch it). Our four-year old ate several bites of the pea soup before declaring it "delicious" and refusing to touch it again (hmm... was he just saying that?). My husband and I really enjoyed the pea soup and I plan on making it again. Next time, I will again encourage each of the boys to try a couple bites, and the time after that, until this is a recipe that is familiar to them.

I always encourage the toddlers to try a bite-- never force it. I serve their plates with the familiar item and the unfamiliar item next to each other. If they eat a bite of the unfamiliar item, I let them have a second serving of the familiar. I always give them very small servings, about a large spoonful. Our pediatrician recommended this approach as it lets them feel that they can eat what it on their plate. Large servings are intimidating. Small servings are easier to tackle and they feel in control when they ask for more. If they do not have a bite of the unfamiliar item we ask, "All done?" if they nod yes, we get them down. If they say no and point to more of the familiar item, we encourage the bite of the unfamiliar item, "Try a bite for more green beans! Bite and green beans." Sometimes they actually understand this and will have a bite and motion for more of the familiar item-- in this case, green beans. Sometimes they are so possessed with wanting more green beans they wont try the unfamiliar item. Then we politely excuse and distract them. "Okay! Then all done! Look at the train table! Ooooh, trains! Woo woo!" I dont usually put the food on the table in front of the, but keep it on the kitchen counter. That way they dont have a bowl of cantaloupe distracting them when we are trying to get them to try the cranberry pork. Now, if they eat all the familiar item and all of the unfamiliar item, I let them have more of whatever they choose. If they want two or three more servings of either the familiar or unfamiliar item, I let them. I make each consecutive serving smaller than the previous (the first is a large spoonful, the second a spoonful, the third a small spoonful, etc).

As for our four-year old, we do have him try at least a bite of everything on his plate before he can be excused. This actually isnt much of a fight. Sometimes we have to remind him, but we do it nicely like, "Oh, silly you! You forgot to have a bite of your stir fry!" and he will laugh and say, "Oh, I forgot!" Sometimes he says, "I dont want a bite. I dont like it," to which I reply the ole tried and true mom come back, "How do you know you dont like it if you didnt try it?" (Oldies but goldies.) No seconds until at least one bite was had of each item and I again do small portions, especially of an unknown item or of an item I know will be a problem, like rice. Even if I know there is something he wont like, I give him a portion-- albeit, a very small portion.

When I cook, though, I cook food I can get excited about. I dont cook food for the sole purpose of being something I know the kids will eat. That is a frustrating way to cook. Our toddlers randomly decide favorite dishes are out; for several weeks they wouldnt touch macaroni and cheese until one day they couldnt get enough of it. I cook food that I will make great leftovers for lunch the next day or something Ive been wanting to try making. I cook to challenge myself in the kitchen. My next project is successfully poaching an egg (I tell you, I am not a good cook). The more I cook, the more I enjoy it. Im so excited for Easter because I baked Clodagh McKennas baked ricotta cake again this year; it is becoming a bit of an Easter tradition for us. This recipe is so simple, I mean, really simple yet rewarding. I buy the graham crackers at Trader Joes-- of course-- for the added bonus of no hydrogenated oils (I want to try making my own soon).

While I always have boxes of Annies shells and white cheddar macaroni and cheese (or, as we call them, chells and white sheddar), mix up family staples. I love this macaroni and cheese recipe from Southern Livings Feel Good Food, Baked Smokin Macaroni and Cheese. Instead of crushed cereal, I use Trader Joes bread crumbs. I also like using the pimiento mac and cheese option, but also adding 8 oz of coarsely chopped kielbasa-- delicious! A macaroni and cheese even parents can enjoy. Instead of plain oatmeal in the morning, make quinoa mixed with raspberry preserves, or-- a huge hit with the boys-- oat bran mixed with plain whole milk yogurt and raspberry preserves (yes, I have a thing for raspberry preserves!).

Here are a few other tips to get your kids excited about food:

• Dont tell your kids they dont like something. If our four-year old doesnt care for something, we say, "Oh, you didnt feel like trout today?" This does two things: 1. he feels like he has a choice and that his choice, today, was to not eat the fish 2. the next time you offer trout, he feels like he has the option to like it that day.
• Talk to them about food. This is a little beyond our toddlers, but I do it anyways. "Mmm! Momma loves sweet potatoes! They are so smooth and tasty. Can you taste the butter? Momma loves butter." With our four-year old, it is easier. He sees me chopping up peppers and asks what they are. I let him try one. "Does the orange bell pepper taste different than the red one?" I let him try the different cheese, "Which one do you like more, Gouda or cheddar?" What he loves the best is when I tell him stories about food, "When I was a little girl, Granny made me an egg on toast every time I spent the night at her house. I loved the warm egg on crunchy toast..."
• Involve the kids in cooking. Again, this is easier with the four-year old, but I do it with the toddlers as well. With our four-year old, I will often measure out ingredients and put them in little bowls (I am weird about germs and Im not sure I want four-year old hands in my flour yet...). He made the sauce for Ree Drummonds Comfort Meatballs one day. I had everything out and he poured it in the big bowl and mixed it all up. Granted, they were spicy as all get-out because he was liberal with the Tabasco, but he wolfed them down proudly, "These meatballs are the best, Momma!" With the toddlers, I do simpler things. There is the obvious choice of letting them pretend to cook while you cook. They love doing this. I set a stool on the floor to be the stove top and they sizzle and bake away with pots and pans and wooden spoons. I also give them lunches they have to assemble, like cheese on crackers or apple slices dipped in peanut butter. I show them how to do it and they get so excited assembling and dipping and showing me what theyve done before taking bites (or, in our fruitarians case, assembling all the cheese crackers and lining them up on his high chair tray and not eating one of them).
• Eat with them. The boys are always willing to sit longer at the table-- thus eating more-- when Im sitting with them. We chat and take bites of our food. They imitate me dipping. I encourage their eating. I hear so many fascinating stories from our preschooler when we sit together, about school or the dreams he had or what he wants to be when he grows up. The toddlers do peekaboo and happy food dances. It is really sweet to be able to eat together, even if it is just Momma and the boys.

Most of all, dont stress. This is normal. Yours arent the only kids refusing to eat and they wont be the last. I liked this article about picky eaters, "Is Picky Eating Genetic? Heredity Mostly Responsible for Childrens Narrow Food Choices, Study Shows," that says it can take "14 to 15 exposures" for children to warm to new foods. Keep offering foods to your kids. Dont try once and say, "Oh, he doesnt like hummus." Offer again, and again, and again, and again... Get the idea?

Happy eating! :)

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mother weight loss during pregnancy | 0 2 years old twin must haves

mother weight loss during pregnancy

Whenever I look at must-have lists on the Internet, Im usually surprised to find that I own little of what is on them. So consider this Kimbers Must Have list. What is something that makes it a Must Have for me? For one the cost must not outweigh the amount of time we will use it. I have always wanted a Nap Nanny (like, really, really, really wanted a Nap Nanny... well, two Nap Nannies...), but I could never justify the cost of something that is so easily outgrown that costs over $100 a piece, plus the cost of additional covers-- not to mention the later recall of the product. As long as the cost isnt just totally over the moon, I dont mind an expensive product that is worth the investment, especially when I can use it from 0-2 years. I heart convenience.

Many of the products on this list are overlapped with my past lists. Here are the links to my previous must-have lists:

• My all-time most viewed post, "I love my stroller," posted when the twins were 1-year old
• "One and one and one is three" (the twins were 8-weeks old)
• "My daily plan" (the twins were 4-months old)
• "6-month old twins must-haves"
• "Baby products" (the twins were 13-months old)
• "Cant buy me love" (the twins were 14-months old)
• And Kimbers Navy Family "Resource" tab

If you are into lists, you will find those links interesting. Here we are approaching the toddlers 2nd birthday and we still have baby products that we absolutely love-- great investments. Other things didnt pan out liked I hoped they would (such as the Bright Stars Play Yard mentioned later). Save for my stroller, I dont think that all of these are the end-all-be-all worlds best baby products. If you are wondering what baby products you should buy that will last or be a good investment, these are my tips. There are similar products (some even better-- those Fisher Price Rock and Plays look awesome and I wish I had them!) that will do the job just as well. This ought to just give you the gist of things.

You know Im going to start with my stroller, so here we go.

1. Baby Jogger City Select with Second Seat

If you are looking for a versatile double stroller, I highly recommend reading my blog post "I love my stroller." I have yet to see a stroller that does what this stroller does. For starters, it can be a single or a double stroller. I love this feature. When I go to the pediatrician with one baby, I can bring in the stroller with one seat. Fabulous. Go to drop-in childcare and pick up the other baby and use it as a double when we go into Target. Even more fabulous. I have used this stroller almost daily from the newborn days to their second birthday. I mean, seriously. Great investment. I dont want to do the same gushing that I did in my previous blog post, but I can take this stroller everywhere: bark dust, dirt paths, grass, up hill, down hill, the Metro, the book store, the grocery store... It isnt a bulky, wide double. It is a double stroller with the mind of a single stroller. (Can you tell that Im still in love with this stroller?)

I took some pictures of the boys in the stroller to give you a feel for how it works with 2-year old twins using it. I do have other accessories for it, not pictured. I have the glider board and the trays for the seats. I dont use the glider board as often now, though I did from the time the twins were newborn to about 18-months. Our oldest weighs a little over 45 lbs now and our toddlers weigh about 26 lbs each... combined, thats a lot of weight for a Momma with a bad back to push, even on a fabulous stroller. I do keep the glider board in the mini van for the times I may want it, such as a Target trip where I put the shopping basket on the glider board instead of using a cart, or if we are doing a long day of walking and Im worried our oldest might give up halfway through, like a zoo trip. The trays were super handy before, especially to just drop the babies in without strapping them in (I know, shame on me). Now their feeding schedule is the same as ours (breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner), so I never need to do quick stroller feeds or anything. I am glad I have them because they were great from the time the babies started using the seats (versus the infant carrier adapters)  to about 15-months. I rarely use them now, but when I do, they are super convenient for keeping toys or giving "please stay happy just 5 minutes longer" snacks when we are out. :)

The accessories and all the attachments are a breeze to take on and off, once you have the trick down. When we first got the stroller, I didnt know exactly where to begin. Now I can pop the wheels on and off, take on and off the glider board, and whip that thing into the back of my mini van after outings.

And, to clear up some confusion, this is not a jogging stroller. Baby Jogger brand does make jogging strollers, but their City strollers are not designed for jogging.

This is how I usually use the stroller, with the boys both facing forward and the foot rests down at a slightly angled position:

I seat them like this when Im doing shopping trips (usually at the mall) because it gives me more room under the stroller to put shopping bags and underneath is easily accessible. I have the foot rests up some in this picture. This is how I put the foot rests when they are holding their blankets. It keeps the blankets on:

When we are going through a crowd, I drop the foot rest down in the front. It makes the stroller much smaller, comparable to a single stroller. I have the handle extended back to its highest position (because Im tall), but I drop it down when squeezing into elevators or parking it at the childrens museum:

I used to push them like this a lot and I sometimes still do. Sometimes I find that the toddler looking at me starts getting bored and demanding up because he sees me, so looking out is nice to keep them busy:

These wonderful hoods have kept my babes dry and the sun off their faces on more than one occasion  They even have these nifty flaps to peek in and see how they are doing:

The seats fully reclined. There is a middle recline in between the upright (shown in all the pictures above) and the fully reclined (shown below):

Here it is as a single stroller (in one of the many possible positions it can be in):

And here are pictures of the stroller collapsed, just to show you what the pieces look like separately:

2. Bumbo

I still have the un-safe pre-recall Bumbos. These are much more of a "fun" item now when they were a useful item before. I was given these Bumbos around the time the boys turned 6-months old (read "6-month old twins must-haves"). These things came with us as portable high chairs, room to room entertainment ("Wow! We are watching Momma do laundry!" "Wow! We are watching Momma make the bed!" "Wow! We are watching Momma make dinner!"). With two babies, they were fabulous for giving wobbly sitters a different view of the world. I loved them so much I recommended them to my sister, but she didnt like the Bumbo as much as I did. She sold it before her daughter turned one. So, Im not sure if they are just super wonderful for moms of multiples, but I absolutely loved our Bumbos. Now, the boys love the Bumbos. Our four-year old uses a Bumbo as a high chair for Buzz Lightyear and our toddlers love playing in them. The Bumbos are still a hot commodity in our playroom.

North Carolina March 2013

3. Step 2 Choo Choo wagon

Want to know why you will find this wagon raved about by moms of multiples? Because it is perfect for multiples. This wagon keeps the kids separate and seat belted in their own private wagon, complete with cup holders. The curved handle makes it easy to pull, even know that my boys weigh 26+ lbs each. I bought this second hand from a mom of multiples who was selling it. When the twins were about 15- or 16- months, I started bringing this to the pediatrician with us for the well-baby check-ups. I take them to those long back-to-back appointments by myself and this was the perfect way to keep them entertained and contained while still being able to easily get them in and out for weight checks. The seat belts also make me feel comfortable letting their older brother pull them around (a favorite driveway game with all the boys). There is a compartment under the seat where I keep spare diapers and wipes for park trips and walks.

North Carolina March 2013

4. Thirty-One Organizing Utility Tote

This is a new find for me. We live in the south and Thirty-One, a brand I had not heard of before, is all the rage down here. Being a Navy wife, I like to do my best to blend in with the locals... and find any excuse for shopping! :) This bag is really popular in our twin group and I know why: portable cup holders! I dont know about you, but Im always lugging around leaky sippy cups and reluctantly trying to balance them upright in my Coach totes (cringe). This bag has been the answer for times when you dont have cup holders, like pulling the wagon or playing at the park. There are two pockets on the outside of one side and three on the other. Im not sure my pediatrician will be happy to find Ive discovered new ways to smuggle in sippy cups, but whatever. I like that this bag is structured enough to stand upright and wipes clean. Today I dropped my empty Starbucks caramel frappuccino light cup inside the bag without thinking about it. It was a sticky mess by the time I got home. I used a Clorox wipe and cleaned the whole thing up good as new. The tote is also the perfect size to drop your purse into for a quick dash into Target if you are going sans stroller.

5. Amazon Prime or Amazon Mom with Prime

Im still crazy about Amazon. This is where we buy our diapers, wipes, Diaper Genie refills, baby products, dog food, and books. We buy even more than that from Amazon. Seriously, its the best. Amazon Prime gives you free 2-day shipping and sometimes discounts on products. Amazon Mom gives you an extra 20% off products like diapers and a free 3-month Prime membership. They also have a deal called "Subscribe and Save" that gives you additional savings on staple products, like diapers. We get our Diaper Genie refills through Subscribe and Save; they are shipped at regular intervals (I think we have it set to every 3 months?) and they are shipped right to our door. A friend of mine tipped me off that if you want to get the Subscribe and Save price on, say, a box of diapers, but not sign up for regular shipping, sign up for the service, have one box shipped, and then cancel that Subscribe and Save order. The thing I love most about Amazon is that it saves me from making those annoying little trips for one item. For instance, dog food. I dont have to go the pet store just to get the brand of dog food my dog uses (not carried by Target). The other day I had my favorite disposable fountain pens shipped to me. It is a one-stop-shop that delivers to your door. Amen to that.

6. Ikea High Chairs

There was a lot of debate over which style of high chair we wanted to buy. I hate those big cumbersome high  chairs that take up half of the dining space. At the time, we were in a small apartment and didnt have much space to begin with. There were lots of compact wooden high chairs in style, but they were well out of our price range. So we bought the Ikea ones. I thought the toddlers would outgrow them quickly. However, they are 2-years old and still fit in them! We bought the support cushion to give them stability when they were wobbly sitters. Now they dont use the support cushion and we actually took the trays off and pushed them up to the table around 18-months. These things are really easy to clean and much more compact than the Graco numbers Ive come across. Just say no to cleaning plastic high chair cushions! (Read "Baby products.")

7. Drop-in childcare and a baby-sitter

What is drop-in childcare? Drop-in childcare is a wonderful concept for moms of multiples (or, really, moms). It differs from daycare because you dont have a tuition or certain number of hours you need to attend each month. You pay by the hour and only for the hours you use. You can buy hours in bulk at a discounted rate and most offer a sibling discount. Some drop-in childcare places dont accept infants; some do. If they do accept infants, you might need to make a reservation or call ahead to see if they have room. How do you make the most of drop-in childcare, especially as a stay-at-home mom? I use drop-in childcare when I have a doctor appointment for myself or when the kids have individual appointments. I find that it is easiest to take an age group with me, like take the toddlers to their appointment or take our four-year old to his appointment. Ive also used drop-in childcare to get one on one time with each of the toddlers while our oldest is at preschool, like taking him to an art class or running an errand with him. My boys love going and they love playing with the other kids there. It has been a great resource for me. I know that many areas do not have drop-in childcare; do a Google search to see if there is somewhere near you. Baby-sitters are a fairly new concept for us. While I grew up baby-sitting, I never left our oldest with a baby-sitter until our twins were born. I dont know what the reason was; it wasnt really a thought of "Im not leaving him with anyone." Really, it just never crossed our minds to go out. My husband was gone so much with the Navy and we moved so much, that when he was home we did family things, like going to a friends house for a game night (packnplay in tow) or watching a movie together after he went to bed. Now that we have a baby-sitter that we love, I dont know what we would do without her (well, them-- they are sisters). I love having her come over and the boys love having her over. The drop-in childcare is great during the day when it is just me and the boys. The baby-sitter is wonderful in the evening or early in the morning before drop-in childcare opens, letting the boys wake up on the their own time, nap on their own time, and go to bed on their own time. Childcare is expensive-- especially with multiples. To us, it has found a place in our budget because of the sanity it offers. My hubbys schedule picked up so much these past couple semesters and that has put a lot of responsibility on my shoulders, balancing all these different schedules. Having someone come over that the kids love to play with with them, feed them, bathe them, and put them to bed while I go out has made all the difference in the world. I always look forward to the days shes coming because some "me time" allows me to take a breath and feel like a person again, instead of a multi-tasking machine.

8. Housekeeper

While were on the subject of outsourcing, having someone help with the housecleaning is one of the biggest sanity savers you can invest in. My parents have been exceedingly generous and set us up with a housekeeper after the twins were born. My mom says, "Coming home to a clean house after a stressful day will make you feel so much better." So true. My husband was skeptical at first as to whether this one was worth it or purely a luxury item. After having her coming for almost two years now, it is firmly in the worth it category. Why? Our house is not tidy. We have mail piled on our desk, my papers piled up on our work station, books on every horizontal surface, and toys in every corner. I pick up toys all.day.long. I step on toys all.day.long. We have a designated room for toys, yet they seep into every nook and cranny, invade our bedroom (nothing like crawling in bed to lay on a Lego), and threaten to spill out into the yard. With the constant picking up and the laundry and cooking and carpooling and playing, yeah, the housekeeper has given me time. As a direct result, my family does better. All of us benefit from picking everything up every two weeks to make the house (our definition of) tidy. All of us benefit from clean bathrooms and clean showers and a clean kitchen. I still have to vacuum every couple days and clean the kitchen almost every night (the surfaces), but I dont have to scrub the microwave or our showers. The cleaning Im responsible for now is all surface cleaning. So, while our house may not be perfect or tidy, our carpets our vacuumed, our floors are clean, and there is a delicious smell of "clean" in the air. When my hubby was underway all the time and it was just me and our oldest at home, then a toddler, I had a chore chart that I wrote up for myself. Every day I did a small chore so that by the end of the week, I had cleaned the house from top to bottom. I would vacuum one day, clean the hard floors the next day, do the bathrooms the next day, dust the following day, etc. When I think of that schedule and my life now, I am so grateful for this housekeeper. I cant imagine trying to do it all at this point in time and my husband isnt even gone; hes home every night. I feel like I dont get things done now. I find it hard to put into words what my day looks like and what rests on my shoulders. My life isnt compartmentalized  When I try to designate a day to accomplish something, one of the toddlers gets sick or wont cooperate and things just dont get done. So when your family asks what you need after the twins are born, tell them a housekeeper. 

9. Graco PacknPlay

If you go the Graco website, we have the on-the-go play yards. This item is actually mentioned in my very first must-have post as well (read "One and one and one is three"). Ive tried three different types of packnplays or play yards since Ive had kids: the Bright Stars Play Yard, the Graco PacknPlay, and the Baby Bjorn Travel Light Crib. Our Bright Stars Play Yard cost us around $70-$80, I believe. Our Graco PacknPlay was like $120. The Baby Bjorn Travel Light Crib retails at $300. Let me tell you, that Baby Bjorn travel crib is stinkin awesome. It is super compact when folded, super easy to assemble and take down, super comfortable, and super expensive! We actually have three PacknPlays, two at our house and one at my parents. If we went with Baby Bjorn, that would be $900 in PacknPlays-- yikes! Since I want one (I would settle for two) so badly, I will defend them by saying they are exceedingly convenient. I can only dream of packing two packnplays in one duffel bag; that would be sweet! Instead I have a Bright Stars and a Graco. The Graco is great. It works fine. It is easy enough to put up and down. It is comfortable enough, especially with a packnplay sheet. That Bright Stars play yard was supposed to be a money saver. I thought, "There cant be that much of a difference." I did no research and just bought the less expensive packnplay. It seriously feels like a piece of cardboard set on top of steel pipes, which isnt far from the truth. It is annoying as all get out to set up and take down. I swear more at that thing than I do to at the baby socks in the laundry. I dislike it so strongly that I have considered many times buying yet another packnplay, this time a Graco, to replace it, and our toddlers are two.

10. Sleep schedule

Want to know what pays off more than having the best baby products? A full nights sleep. In all honesty, I dont think that there is "the one perfect baby sleep book" out there that trumps all other baby sleep books. I think it is much more about finding the perfect sleep schedule for your family. For us, the perfect sleep book was 12 Hours Sleep by 12 Weeks Old: A Step-by-Step Plan for Baby Sleep Success by Suzy Giordano. If you are interested in this book, you should check out my blog post, "Sleeping through the night" where I talk a lot more about this book and how it helped set our family schedule. I do think that a schedule is key when it comes to raising multiples. We would have struggled much more that first year if we werent getting sleep. It truly is the gift that keeps on giving. The kids are rested and we have a set bedtime to look forward to after a crazy day chasing two toddlers.

Here are a couple tips when it comes to buying for twins from zero to two. I think everyone thinks, "Two of everything!" when it comes to twins. Family starts buying matching outfits or two of every baby item. Even now well get two of items we 1. dont want or 2. dont need. Keep the receipt or find out where it was bought. Most stores dont require a receipt anymore for gifts. Be very specific that it was a gift and that you do not want it going back on the original card when you return for store credit (we had that happen with a wedding present-- oops!). We ourselves have bought two of items that we later realized we absolutely did not need two of. Since then, we learned a couple tricks about the "two of everything" dilemma. The first tip is to buy similar items. For instance, we had two Excersaucers, but they were different. They had different toys on them, so when they tired of one Excersaucer, we could just switch Excersaucers. This wouldnt have worked if we had two of the same item. This concept has carried over into toddlerhood. Some of the larger or expensive toys are nice to have two different kinds to keep them interesting.

North Carolina September 2011

The second tip is simple: wait. We bought one swing and ended up needing two. We bought one Fisher Price Lawn Mower and ended up needing two. We have one Bouncing Tigger. We have one big Tonka dump truck. We have one child sized arm chair. We either already only had one of an item or we only bought one but this technique has worked for us. I know we will need more big Tonka dump trucks later, but we dont need them now (and dont have the room now). I know we will not need another Tigger. One is enough. I know we will not need another chair, though I do have an idea how I want to decorate their room in South Carolina after we move to big boy beds... :) So just wait or you will find your house is full of double the junk.

North Carolina August 2012

These are the "big things." Im working on a blog post with smaller baby products I like, such as toys and sippy cups. What things have worked for you from zero to two?

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