baby weight loss first week after birth | THE IMPORTANCE OF ANDROGENS FOR WOMENS FERTILITY

baby weight loss first week after birth

Pregnancy Over 40, Trying To conceive Over 40 Testosterone Needed

Many women may have a problem with an overabundance of male hormones which can lead to fertility problems.
 However, some male hormones are needed for a healthy reproductive system. This article explains how androgens can actually aid in egg development:

SEE ALSO: INCREASE PROGESTERONE NATURALLY (getpregnantover40.com)

Male sex hormones, such as testosterone, have well defined roles in male reproduction and prostate cancer. What may surprise many is that they also play an important role in female fertility. A new study finds that the presence and activity of male sex hormones in the ovaries helps regulate female fertility, likely by controlling follicle growth and development and preventing deterioration of follicles that contain growing eggs.
from: 
www.urmc.rochester.edu

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pregnancy weight loss secrets | Is this a baby group or the X Factor

pregnancy weight loss secrets

Ahh the world of parent and baby groups.  Before having a baby, I was aware this world existed, but I have to say, they only existed in my periphery.  But, after having my daughter, I was thrust into the madness of the baby group.  Dont get me wrong, I think parent and baby groups are fantastic and I have met some lovely parents at them.  I do think you have to pick which groups work for you though, because some quite frankly are plain weird.  And just so you know, the majority come with singing. 

Now, I completely understand the benefits of singing to your little one. It promotes their speech, encourages interaction and really strengthens that mother and baby bond.  There is nothing that me and daughter like doing more than putting on Mary Poppins and proceeding to dance and sing around the dog. But, my friends, there is a slight problem with my beautiful singing voice, that being, I havent got a beautiful singing voice. I cant sing.  When my daughter winced and then had a full fit of giggles as I reach my crescendo in a Spoonful of Sugar, I knew right then I had a serious problem (I think the dog howling was a little harsh).  

At some groups, I manage to mime. Ive become a bit of a pro actually.   To the point where I think I could give a good show on Top of the Pops if they gave me a backing track.  At some smaller groups I whisper like a mouse or a very quiet person (which I am not).  At some groups I completely forget and as I join in with the fifth round of Happy Birthday, (theres always about 6 birthdays per week), I frustratingly wonder why it has to go up so bloody high and I hope to God the mum sitting crossed legged next to me didnt hear my rendition (she probably did and wont sit next to me again). 

But then, one fateful day at a baby group, my usual tactics failed me. The lady leading the session, who I shall now refer to as Simon Cowell, went around the circle and asked parents to choose what song the group should sing.  Now this is fine and dandy if you are sat to her right.  Oh yes, this is all bloody well and good if you are sat to her right.  Yes, lets sing, twinkle twinkle, wind the bobbin, baa baa black sheep, and the list goes on.  But, there isnt a infinite amount of nursery rhyme songs.  When the woman next to me suggested Little Miss Muffet, I knew we were scraping the barrel.  And then it was my turn. What song would you like to sing?, Simon asked.  All eyes were on me.  What I would like to have said is, Youre bloody running the group, you pick the next song. But I didnt. Even my little daughter turned to watch what song her mummy would sing with baited breath. 

I wracked my brains.  Ah-ha! Take this Simon I thought!! How about Down in the Jungle I said.  Everyone just continued to look at me.  I had made a fundamental error.  No-one knew the bloody song.  I had got my groups muddled up and it was another group that we sang this song at. And what did Cowell do? Did she say, Oh never mind, lets sing Twinkle Twinkle again?.  No.  No, she did not.  Oooh lets hear it, she said. I cleared my throat and what happened next was the most painful minute and a half of my life and probably everyone elses.  Im sure a few stray cats even wandered into the hall to join in at what they thought was the grand master cat screeching out a cat call.  I have never been so embarrassed or so red in my life.  Why didnt I just pick the Neighbours theme tune? At least people know that. 

Needless to say we have not returned, because quite frankly, if I want to make a t*t out of myself in front of a roomful of people I will just go and audition for the X-Factor.  Take heed, dear readers. These groups are not for the faint hearted.  Either be mentally ready with every nursery rhyme ever written, oh and sit to the leaders right, or you could always just belt out, Neighbours....everybody needs good neighbours....". 

Thanks for reading and I would love to hear any of your baby group disasters to make me feel a little better! 

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unexpected weight loss during pregnancy | The unknown

unexpected weight loss during pregnancy

I went out on a limb, took a leap of faith, felt a little adventurous, grabbed life by the horns... whatever you want to call it. I went on multiple road trips with my multiple children. My road trip travel itinerary:

July 30th to July 31st:

made a three and a half hour drive to a friends house with the boys and our dog, stayed overnight

July 31st to August 2nd:

made a four hour drive to my parents house with the boys and our dog, stayed two nights

August 2nd to August 3rd:

made a one and a half hour drive to a friends house with the twins (leaving the dog and my oldest at my parents house), stayed overnight

August 3rd to August 10th:

made the one and a half hour drive back to my parents house. Stayed at my parents house for the rest of the trip. My husband joined us on August 9th and drove back to North Carolina with us (thank goodness).

Virginia July 2012

This past week, we went on another adventure! This time my husband was with us from start to finish (including packing, unloading when we arrived, reloading to leave, and unpacking when we got home). From August 13th to August 15th we went to the beach. It was fabulous in a we-went-to-the-beach-with-three-kids kind of way, but fabulous nonetheless.

On our drive home, my husband and I were chatting about the trip, especially dinner last night (I had a seafood platter with fried shrimp, grilled oysters, and grilled scallops and key lime pie for dessert; he had the salmon with a goat cheese fondue, grilled asparagus, and garlic mashed potatoes and chocolate cake for dessert). The trip wasnt exactly at the best time for us, only in the sense of when is a recreational trip ever at a good time with a four-year old and one-year old twins? We had to find someone to watch our dog last minute, figure out what we were going to do with the cat, and rearrange some of our scheduled plans (such as a doctors appointment for the toddlers and a class my husband is taking). We had the daunting task of looking around our home and thinking, "What exactly do we need at the beach with all these kids?" We wondered how baby proof the beach house would be... if our 16-month old twins would like the beach... if we would be able to provide enough sun protection... and attempt to pack for any possible surprises (diaper blow-outs en route, etc).

The big road trip at the beginning of August also faced many challenges. I have never stayed overnight at someones house before with the children: all three boys and the dog without my husband to help. Baby proofing was my chief concern. What if our friends make us dinner and Im chasing toddlers the whole time? What if we have epic twin toddler meltdowns at someones house? What if the night Im at their house is the night my preschooler wakes up with a bloody nose (something he is prone to)? I had an entire list of what-ifs and reasons to postpone. The closer the travel dates came, the more doubts I had.

In both cases my desire to get out of the house won out over my concerns. I wanted to see my friends who live far-away. I wanted to go to the beach. And so, we went.

Get this: we had a great time.

On July 30th, my husband waved good-bye to us on the driveway and off we went! The dog got carsick, as he always does. We had to stop multiple times for bathroom and snack breaks. We stretched legs. We got stuck in traffic. We listened to the Jake and the Neverland Pirates CD approximately one hundred million times. And we arrived at my friends house ready to get out of the van. The boys were a little unsure about their new surroundings at first. Seeing the familiar face of a family friend, they quickly warmed up and started exploring. My friends teenage sons helped wrangle babies. My snack bag supplemented the dinner that the toddlers threw on the ground. The trip was an "unknown." I think moms in general dislike unknowns. I know moms of twins try to avoid unknowns at all costs. It was an unknown that led to great conversation and delicious dinner, a late night laugh session while watching the Olympics, and warm see-you-soons the next day as we said good-bye.

? Heading to my parents house, I knew what to expect, which makes it easier to travel there. I know what to pack and what they already have on hand. I know the nearby stores and my familys schedule. Heading to the next friends house on August 2nd was much more of an unknown. Not only would I be staying overnight, we would be visiting her and her toddler at her parents house, three toddlers visiting "the grandparents." I knew I wanted to be a good houseguest. How to convey this to two toddlers? (My oldest stayed at my parents house for a little grandparent and great-grandparent time.) But, grandmothers have a way of softening even the wildest of toddler hearts. My boys had no problem going "up" to my friends parents and even shared with my friends toddler. They had a lot of fun moving from room to room, exploring new toys and playing with a new friend and new dogs. This unknown led to more great conversation and another delicious dinner, another late night with the Olympics, and warm hope-to-see-you-soons the next day (this friend actually lives across the United States and Im not sure when I will see her next). The toddlers, I think, were happy to say good-bye to each other. My boys were done sharing and her son was tired of the intruders... Oh, toddlers!

North Carolina August 2012

The beach trip was a great unknown. This time we would be going somewhere unknown with friends of ours who have triplets. Would there be ample room for all of us at the beach house? And how will five one-year olds feel about the beach? What shops are nearby? Will our schedules work well together? This trip was smooth sailing from start to finish. I think I felt the most relaxed heading out on this one. I had already dealt with two overnight trips with the boys that went great. This time, my husband would be there. Easy peasy. We packed the van great, the drive was great, the beach house was beautiful, and two of our boys (D, the oldest, and O, one of the twins) loved the beach. We had breakfast at this delicious little place that had a shop attached. I bought the boys t-shirts. We left to go spend hours at the beach. While C was not fond of the ocean, he loved the sand! Both toddlers played so hard at the beach that they fell asleep while we were packing up. We went back to the beach house to meet up with our friends, whose girls were napping. We fed babies and showered, then headed off to a restaurant. The boys were antsy at the end so I took them outside to play cornhole on the patio. That evening I went on a walk on the beach with D while my husband put the one-year olds to bed. We talked on the patio while the kids finally drifted off to sleep before opening up the bottles of wine and playing board games.

There were times on all these trips that things didnt go as planned. I held C most of the time we were at the beach. A four-year old sometimes would rather argue than obey. Our 16-month olds were so tired after the beach that they screamed all the way through bathtime. While visiting our friends earlier in the month, the boys refused most of the food offered to them. At one point-- so dramatically refusing food-- they wouldnt eat bananas, a favorite at our house. Sometimes they snacked instead of eating a formal lunch. Sometimes I gave them things that would make them happy so I could socialize (I may or may not have offered licorice during dinnertime at one point...). The toddlers occasionally became fixated on something they shouldnt (a flight of stairs, a dog dish, my glass of wine). Why kids cant just say, "Hey, I know what we are doing is out of the ordinary, so Im going to make things easy for you," I dont know.

? The unknown is scary when heading out with kids, especially when toddlers are involved. Every once in awhile it is fun to exercise your adventurous side. You may be pleasantly surprised.

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pregnancy weight loss morning sickness | IVF 5 TIMES MORE COMPLICATIONS IN BABIES

pregnancy weight loss morning sickness

Even though Im an advocate of getting pregnant naturally, even I was surprised to hear that babies born through IVF have five times the risk of complications such as early infant death, stillbirth and prematurity. What is even more surprising is that the figures excluded women with multiple births.  One researcher who previously link IVF with a higher incidence of birth defects described something called "hormonal hangover" which was his way of describing how fertility drugs can stay in a womans system and affect the uterus and the placenta.

SEE ALSO: IVF OVER 40 (getpregnantover40.com) 

According to the article:
"Professor Davies also warned that there is an ‘urgent need’ to track the long-term health of babies born through IVF.
He added: ‘It is appropriate that we are informed of the risks associated with the therapy and the source of that risk, so we can make informed decisions.’
Around 50,000 women in the UK have IVF each year leading to 17,000 births. Dr Geeta Nargund, medical director of the London Create fertility clinic, said doctors should make IVF ‘as safe as possible’ by not using high doses of drugs."

from: dailymail

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is weight loss common during pregnancy | Cloth diapering budget

is weight loss common during pregnancy

This post is not about how to cloth diaper, but about the cost of cloth diapering. We have not cloth diapered before. I really wanted to cloth diaper with our third pregnancy, but when we found out we were having twins, I feel like I talked myself out of it. In some ways I wish we had (budget); in other ways, I think it all worked out (convenience of disposables). Regardless, this time, I am cloth diapering come hell or high water.

Realizing this morning that I am almost 36 weeks pregnant, I figured it was about time to get baby #4s things together. My sister and I set out this morning to get all the last minute supplies I need before we have a newborn in the house (nursing pads, breast milk storage bags, pacifiers, etc). We also went by my new favorite local baby store and picked up all the things we will need to start off cloth diapering.

Im pretty pleased when I look at the bottom line of cloth diapering compared to the bottom line of disposable diapering. As of right now, I have enough supplies to conservatively cloth diaper through the toddler years. I will most definitely be buying more cloth diapers (and possibly supplies) before our cloth diaper days are through, but this supply is a very good start. I know that some of these things (for instance, the hand-me-down prefolds) are not things that everyone has ready access to-- such as a first time mom-- but other things (like my used BumGenius Elementals) can be found if you keep an eye out.

So here are the numbers:

11 BumGenius Elemental All-in-One Diapers for $87.50

When I set out this time to cloth diaper, someone tipped me off to the BumGenius All-in-Ones. Since my husband is still somewhat skeptical about cloth diapering, I love that they work exactly like disposable diapers. The more I learned about them, the more I knew they would be the diapers for us. I firmly believe that chatting about these types of things with friends opens doors and in this case it definitely did. One of my mommy friends found a great deal on a local cloth diaper swap Facebook page and asked if I wanted to split the stash with her. Even better, they were the BumGenius Elemental All-in-Ones, the organic version of the All-in-One diapers I had decided upon. With that deal, I purchased 11 BumGenius Elemental All-in-One diapers for $87.50.

Estimated retail on (1) BumGenius Elemental All-in-One diaper: $24.99

Approximate price I paid per diaper: $8

 

6 Thirsties Duo Wraps for $81.00

I went to my local baby store to chat with the gal about cloth diapers. She tipped me off that the regular size BumGenius All-in-One diapers (as well as the Elementals) are not ideal for the newborn days. I asked her what she recommended and she said that she really liked using the prefold diapers with the Thirsties Duo Wraps. I was excited about this because we used Gerber prefold diapers with our first 3 boys as burp cloths. I have an entire bin of them. The gal at the baby store said that 6 Thirsties Duo Wraps would be enough to get started cloth diapering in the newborn days, which is what I went with. I did not buy any more prefold diapers because we have so many hand-me-downs.
Price I paid per diaper: $13.50

 

2 Planet Wise Pail Liners for $36.00

One of the most convenient aspects of cloth diapering is the wet bag. I love the idea of throwing it all in my washer instead of sorting through soaking buckets. Since Im setting up a diaper changing station for easier cloth diapering at home, I decided to go with 2 Planet Wise Pail Liners, one to use while the other is being washed.
Price I paid per pail liner: $18.00

 

1 medium Planet Wise Wet Bag for $17.00

The gal at the baby store told me that she uses just one wet bag for on the go. She said that when she gets home, shell often just dump the contents of her wet bag into her diaper pail instead of having to wash it every time. So, to start with, I only bought 1 medium Planet Wise Wet Bag to use on the go.

 

1 Planet Wise Wipe Pouch for $11.00

Well, I bought an adorable wet bag with a monster design on it... Then I saw the adorable matching wipe holder. And I knew I had to get that to. This was my only frivolous cloth diaper purchase. Yes, I could do without it. Yes, it is super cute.

 

1 6-pack of Thirsties Fab Reusable Baby Wipes for $13.00

For wipes, most of my friends make their own cloth wipes by cutting up old receiving blankets and the like. I also plan on doing this, but I did decide to buy a pack of Thirsties Fab Reusable Baby Wipes just to help get me started. That way, at least, I have "nice wipes" to try and I can always buy more if I just absolutely love them over the ones I make myself. I did remember the diaper budget and so I only bought 1 pack of wipes. ;)

 

4 bottles of BabyGanics Loads of Love detergent, unscented, for $33.98

One thing Ive been told about cloth diapers is that you need to be careful what you wash them in. I make my own detergent (read my blog post "Homemade Household Cleaners") and it has Borax in it. When I was talking to the gal at the baby store, she recommended using a detergent without Borax. Her store carries the Rockin Green Classic Rock Motley Clean detergent for around $20.00 a bag. I was planning on buying a bag to try out. However, when I was at BabiesRUs, they had the BabyGanics Loads of Love detergent at buy one get one free, $13.99 for 2. I couldnt pass up the deal and so I bought 4 bottles of it. Well see how I like it. Ive heard really good things about the Rockin Green detergent, so I can always fall back on that if the BabyGanics detergent doesnt work as well as I would like it to.

 

The total cost for all of this is $290.54.

According to the chart on Aware Beginnings Doula Services, you will need 8-10 diapers between the ages of 6-12 months, if you wash daily, with that number going down further after 12 months; I have 11 All-in-One diapers. For the newborn days, the Thirsties Duo Wraps are a diaper cover with the actual diaper being the prefold, which I have a surplus of. The gal at my baby store said the Thirsties do not need to be washed every time, but on an as needed basis. Going off of this chart, the diaper supply I have built up at just under $300 could last me until toddlerhood!

Talking to my friends who have started cloth diapering and who have been cloth diapering for a long time (second and third children in cloth diapers), I know that there will be additional expenses along the way. For instance, when we are moving, we will have to figure out the cloth diaper situation. We still have to install a diaper sprayer in the bathroom we plan on setting up our changing station; running between $40-$60 new, I plan on having my husband build one himself (check out this blog post: "DIY Tutorial: Make Your Own Diaper Sprayer"). We will probably end up buying more BumGenius All-in-Ones. But what Im most pleased about is that this is a great start. There is no rush to go buy anything else.

These are the diapers we bought for our children in the past:

Pampers Swaddlers Newborn Size: 88 count at $19.95 with Amazon Subscribe and Save
$0.22 a diaper

Pampers Swaddlers Size 1: 148 count at $25.99 with Amazon Subscribe and Save
$0.17 a diaper

Pampers Swaddlers Size 2: 132 count at $25.99 with Amazon Subscribe and Save
$0.19 a diaper

Pampers Baby Dry Size 2: 160 count at $31.99 with Amazon Subscribe and Save
$0.19 a diaper

Pampers Baby Dry Size 3: 180 count at $27.68 with Amazon Subscribe and Save
$0.15 a diaper

Pampers Baby Dry Size 4: 180 count at $36.79 with Amazon Subscribe and Save
$0.20 a diaper

Pampers Baby Dry Size 5: 160 count at $37.75 with Amazon Subscribe and Save
$0.23 a diaper

Pampers Cruisers Size 3: 174 count at $36.70 with Amazon Subscribe and Save
$0.21 a diaper

Pampers Cruisers Size 4: 136 count at $36.26 with Amazon Subscribe and Save
$0.26 a diaper

Pampers Cruisers Size 5: 96 count at $28.46 with Amazon Subscribe and Save
$0.29 a diaper

Target Brand Diapers (Up & Up) Size 5: 138 count at $28.99
$0.21 a diaper

With our oldest, we used Pampers Swaddlers from newborn size up to size 2, then we switched Pampers Cruisers (the Baby Dry diapers made him rash).

With our twins, we used Pampers Swaddlers from newborn to size 2, then we switched to Pampers Baby Dry before eventually switching to Target Brand. When we could, we bought biodegradable diapers, but, for the most part, we used Pampers.

For wipes:

Pampers Sensitive Wipes: 448 count at $8.78 with Amazon Subscribe and Save
$0.019 a wipe

The chart from Aware Beginnings Doula Services says you will change 10-12 diapers a day up to 6 months of age. Using their statistics and the prices of the diapers I bought for our kids in the past, here is the estimated cost of diapering one child for the first 4 months, about the time my girlfriends have been switching from Thirsties to All-in-Ones:

 

10 diapers a day x 28 days = 280 diapers / 88 diapers in Newborn Swaddlers = 3.18 boxes of diapers

 

4 boxes of Pampers Newborn Swaddlers = $79.80

 

+ 1 box of Pampers Sensitive Wipes = $88.58 for the first month of diapering

 

10 diapers a day x 28 days = 280 diapers / 148 diapers in Swaddlers Size 1 = 1.89 boxes of diapers

 

2 boxes of Pampers Size 1 Swaddlers = $51.98

 

+ 1 box of Pampers Sensitive Wipes = $60.78 for the second month

 

10 diapers a day x 28 days = 280 diapers / 132 diapers in Swaddlers Size 2 = 2.12 boxes of diapers

 

3 boxes of Pampers Size 2 Swaddlers = $77.97

 

+ 1 box of Pampers Sensitive Wipes = $86.75 for the third month

 

10 diapers a day x 28 days = 280 diapers / 160 Size 2 Baby Dry = 1.75 boxes of diapers

 

2 boxes of Pampers Baby Dry Size 2 diapers = $63.96

 

+ 1 box of Pampers Sensitive Wipes = $72.74 for the fourth month

 

For four months of conservative disposable diapering, the total cost of diapers and wipes is $300.07

Buying all of the supplies to cloth diaper cost me $290.54 and that number includes diapering from newborn to toddlerhood.

 

The $300.07 does not include Diaper Genie Refills, which we also use, and it also gave a conservative estimate on wipes. Some months we used a lot of wipes and some months not as much. We did use roughly a box a month.

 

I do also want to note that when you look at the price of the links I have for cloth diapering, most of the numbers on Amazon are slightly lower than the prices I listed from my local baby store, usually by about a $1 or $2. Shopping online is so convenient as a stay-at-home mom and I do it often. However, I love to support local businesses when I can (usually used book stores). Local baby stores are a great way to save money on items like these because most of them offer a customer loyalty program. When we bought our Baby Jogger City Select, that is how we saved money buying all of the accessories. That is why I made the choice to shop at a local store versus buying everything off of Amazon.
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weight loss during early pregnancy normal | Potty training twins Part 3 Treats

weight loss during early pregnancy normal

The sage continues. We are now potty training both our toddlers.

You can check out my previous potty training posts here:

• Potty training twins: Part 1 {No plan}
• Potty training twins: Part 2 {The next step}

Weve been potty training one of our toddlers, C, for 22 days now. His twin brother decided this past weekend that he wanted to potty train as well. We are on day 5 of potty training O. The first couple days of potty training both toddlers were crazy. It almost felt like C regressed some when O started potty training. In my previous posts, we were considering potty training C for overnight. We arent exactly sure of the approach we want to take on nights right now. Both toddlers are waking up with somewhat wet diapers-- not really, really wet, but still a little wet. Here are the three options Im considering for potty training them on nights:

1. Training underwear and waterproof training pants.
I feel like this is the most aggressive approach, the one to really get them to potty train overnight. I used these Gerber All in One Waterproof Training Pants with our oldest son, D, when we potty trained him. When wearing the Gerber Training Pants underneath these, they are pretty waterproof. A child can have an accident in these and it will hold really well. I like this combination because it really lets the child feel wet. I feel like pull ups are basically diapers and so there isnt too much incentive for the child not to treat it like a diaper. These Gerber training pants feel like underwear and so they arent comfortable to be wet in. I would also do the mattress trick I mentioned in "Potty training twins: Part 2 {The next step}."
Downside to this option: waking up in the night if they feel wet to change training pants; waking up in the morning to change training pants to regular underwear (which I do now from diapers to underwear).

2. Pull ups
I feel like this might be the easiest option. If I do this, there is a good chance that they will keep sleeping through the night when they use the pull up. In theory, they could also pull up and down the pull up in the morning when they need to use the restroom, perhaps even if they wake up in the night and need to use the restroom. I really feel like, even if I decide to go with the first option, I will probably start with pull ups first and then move to the Gerber training pants after they are even better about waking up dry.
Downside to this option: we go from buying Target diapers at $24.99 for 138 to pull ups at $19.99 for 52. The nice thing about the Gerber training pants is that they are reusable and washable; you have to keep buying pull ups.

3. Diapers
This is what we are doing for nights now. When they wake up in the morning, they run to the restroom and I change them from a diaper to underwear. Sometimes this is at 6:45 am, sometimes at 7:30 am. They sometimes wake up shortly after we put them to bed demanding to use the restroom, but never in the middle of the night. I dont feel they are necessarily learning to potty train nights this way and they throw a fit every evening when we change them into their pajamas and diaper, "I wear underwear, Momma!" The Target brand diapers, while we have generally been happy with them after switching from Pampers, dont have the best Velcro on the side. Once you pull apart the Velcro to allow the child to use the restroom, it doesnt stick back together well. Taking on and off the diaper to allow the child to use the restroom generally means changing his diaper as well, regardless of how dry it may be. Im kind of feeling like we need to do something else than diapers.
Downside to this option: we are almost out of diapers, so I would need to head on over to Target to buy another box of diapers.

We havent made up our mind yet on what we want to do for nights. I mentioned it before, but Im dreading the idea of giving up sleep. At 22-weeks pregnant, the last thing I want to be doing right now is wake up in the middle of the night to change sheets and give quick baths. That is why I think we will switch-- next week (ever the procrastinator)-- from diapers to pull ups, try it out for a week or two, and then move up to the Gerber Training Pants option if it is going well. Otherwise, I think we will linger in pull ups. (This is kind of a big deal for me to be considering pull ups as I swore up and down when potty training our oldest that I would never buy pull ups! Ah, motherhood... you end up eating words so often.)

Before we started potty training O, C really had potty training under his belt. Very, very few accidents. He had reached the "rebellious stage" of potty training: "Okay, Ive got this. Now Im going to see what I can get away with." He wasnt very happy the day he told us that he was going to use his underwear as a diaper and then did-- only to be confronted with consequences instead of treats or "Its okay." We didnt always have a change of clothes with us when we left the house, because he was so reliable. Wed left him with a sitter; wed run errands all day; wed visited friends houses and the like. If he was doing nights, I would have considered him potty trained. And then we started potty training O. The first day of potty training O passed uneventfully. The second day, Cs potty training went out the window. Not sure what happened. O only had one accident, but C had 3 or 4, very surprising to my husband and me because we had started thinking of him as very reliable and trustworthy in underwear. We had mini panic attacks. Are we starting over at square one with C? Are we doing something wrong?

The other problem we had was the treats were well out of hand. Anytime anyone used the bathroom in the house-- myself, my husband, our oldest son, one of the toddlers-- one of the toddlers would leap up and have to use the restroom. They were getting to the point of producing a drop or two just for treats constantly. I wrote in the blog post "Potty training twins: Part 2 {The next step}" that we were out of treats by noon. I was constantly in the bathroom telling the toddlers to stop playing in the sink, stopping playing by the toilet, asking them if they actually had to go potty, perpetually bombarded with demands for "Treats! Momma, treats!" It was ridiculous. If one toddler used the bathroom, the other would as well. So the first toddler would genuinely have to go potty. I would help him in the bathroom, wash his hands, come out and do treats, only for the second toddler to see the first toddler get treats, run to the bathroom, have me help him wash hands, come out and get a treat, for the first toddler to dash back in the bathroom... Constantly, constantly, constantly. Our system wasnt working.

So what does every logical woman do when faced with a tough problem? Call her mother. My mom said we needed to do away with treats for every time they use the restroom-- totally agree. I printed off a sticker chart for both of them, each a table I made on Microsoft Word. The table has 5 rows and 8 columns. The first row lists the days of the week in each column: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and a special column for Week. The next four rows are for stickers. If they go the entire day without an accident in their underwear, they get a sticker and a special treat (O got a cookie his first day without an accident and last night they both had their pick from the leftover Valentines Day candy). If they go the entire week without an accident (a concept they havent grasped yet and we havent fully explained yet-- we will when we actually have a weeks worth of stickers on the chart), they get a very special treat, like a bowl of ice cream or something.

Happy toddlers celebrating getting stickers on their potty training charts

I think it was because we had just started potty training O, but he caught on to this system very quickly. The first day we implemented this (day 3 of Os potty training), he was on board. He went the whole day without an accident. C did not catch on the first day. This was during his potty training regression after we started potty training O, and he deliberately had 2 accidents that day. That evening when we were putting a sticker on Os potty training chart, not intentionally in front of him, just with O to celebrate going a whole day, something with C clicked. The next day, C told me first thing in the morning, "I not have accidents today. I get sticker and treat." O piped in, "Me too!" And they did-- they went all day without any accidents. We spent a long morning/early afternoon picnicking at the park and they had no accidents. (I gave them each a small treat when we got home for being dry the whole time and for using the potty once we got home. They celebrated, "Yay! Dry at park!") They both took a long afternoon nap and were dry the whole time during their nap. When they woke up, we went to dinner and ran an errand all together as a family. I was so glad my hubby was there. When we pulled into the gas station, O yells, "Have to go potty!" He took O in to the bathroom. While he was in there, C says, "Have to go potty, Momma!" I pumped the gas and told C he had to wait. When my husband came out of the gas station, he went back in with C while I buckled O up in the car seat.

I havent entirely taken away treats. I generally give them a treat for performing the larger functions in the restroom. Out of all the accidents they could have in their underwear, pooping is the least pleasant to clean up and so I feel it should be amply rewarded for being done properly in the toilet. They seem satisfied when I tell them they dont get a treat every time they go potty in the toilet. I try to emphasize that they need to do go all day without an accident. Our oldest will always add, "Or if you go poop!" That has produced several small functions in the toilet for which the toddlers demand a treat, "Tiny poop, Momma! Treat!" Overall though, the treat system is far less abused as we are doing it now than when we were freely handing out treats every time either of them used the restroom. I also try to hand out surprise treats so they feel rewarded and noticed during the day for their efforts. I gave a treat yesterday for going the entire park playdate without any accidents. Ive given treats for running errands and using the potty while we are out. I just try to keep them small and casual, not make them feel like they are entitled to a treat every time they do this. After all, potty training really is something they should learn at one point or another to do without praise or compensation. I do ponder how the treat system crumbled so completely having twin toddlers potty training simultaneously. The treat system worked great potty training our singleton and when we were potty training one of our toddlers, but not potty training both of them.

This morning both the toddlers were admiring their sticker charts. They have counted up the stickers they have earned and plan on getting another sticker for today. After using the restroom an hour or two ago, one of the toddlers came in the family room and announced, "No accidents, Momma! Sticker tonight!" Im really starting to feel that some of the darker days of potty training are behind us... well, until we start nights! :)

Im sure other moms feel this way, but I am frequently reminded of Lord of the Flies by William Golding when parenting 3 children. So heres my upbeat potty training quote: “He found himself understanding the wearisomeness of this life, where every path was an improvisation and a considerable part of ones waking life was spent watching ones feet.”

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pregnancy weight loss during pregnancy | Turn and face the strange

pregnancy weight loss during pregnancy

Whew! Toddlers are no joke. And preschool? I have probably told you before, but I really felt that once the boys began school there would be a magical change that made life easier. That is a total myth. Little people, little problems; big people, big problems. The older they get, the more there is to deal with; Im beginning to see this. I suppose that is why so many people told me to enjoy that first year. What they should have said is, "You think this is hard now? Honey, just you wait."

We found our groove that first year with twins. There were difficult phases, of course, and my girlfriends can tell you I made many frantic phone calls, "Why arent they napping? Will the crying ever end?" But the crying did end. They did fall into a nap schedule. There was a good balance between the rhythm of the rest of the family and the pace of the toddlers.

Toddlers are complex little creatures. Much like a butterfly (or moth?) if you touch their wings, they cant fly anymore. They must do it themselves. They must learn, explore, discover on their own. They must learn to obey by obeying. They must learn to use utensils by using utensils. They must learn to color by coloring. As much as you want to assist, you cant. If you do assist, 1. they wont learn and 2. they will more than likely meltdown. (My mother swears my first words were, "Me do it!") One toddler is exhausting to deal with-- truly. Two toddlers? Lord, give me patience. While Im unloading the dishwasher, one toddler is trying to pull out the silverware and throw it on the floor and the other is attempting to climb on the train table.

Im halfway through Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman and, so far, I love it. Written by a mom of a singleton and twins, I do wish she would say exactly how to talk to my toddlers in a way that works. I do want to have time for my pleasures and to get ready. We have a sunroom for the childrens toys and we clean up their toys every night, keeping their space separate from our "adult time." We wait a beat before we jump up to help the boys. We have a strict "cadre" (frame) of behavior we expect from them (mealtimes, naptimes, house rules, and acceptable behaviors). I have the boys help me do household tasks, from cooking to cleaning. We eat our meals together at the table at the same time. And yet, the toddlers repeatedly throw in the house. Our preschooler struggles with self-entertaining. And all three of them have perfected their whine.

There are hints in this book, Bringing Up Bebe. She says a couple times that the French women tell their children, "I cannot pick you up right now because I am cooking," and if the child chooses to cry instead of listen, they let him cry. Or when they are taking care of multiple children, they tell the child, "I need to take care of your brother before I can help you." These small glimpses of what the book is suggesting make me feel that these French mothers with "astonishingly well-behaved children," according to the book description, deal with things head on from the beginning. They would rather deal with crying and frustration now as they build good habits instead of later when they will be breaking bad habits before they can enforce good ones (one of the main points of 12 Hours in 12 Weeks by Suzy Giordano). Perhaps we are on the right track, though it really doesnt feel like it.

Our biggest point of frustration is the evening "witching hour" (witching hour extending from 1830 to 2000). We have practically hit our breaking point on this one. On page 18 a Parisian mother tells the author, "For me, the evenings are for the parents... My daughter can be with us if she wants, but its adult time." Amen, sister. However, our evenings pretty much go like this:

1730 Family dinnertime
1800 Clean up dinner and kitchen
1830 Clean up the sunroom while kids "help" and argue over toys
1900 Start getting kids in jams while kids cry and try to run away
1915 Do Os nebulizer treatment while he cries and tries to get down
1920 Stop C and D from stealing Os toys as he does his nebulizer treatment
1930 D meltdown saying it isnt his bedtime when we tell him to put on jams and brush teeth
1945 C and O meltdown when they attempt to go in the locked sunroom; proceed to throw all toys out of toy bin in family living space
1950 Carry crying toddlers to cribs and attempt to say prayers and do story
2000 Read D stories and deal with his meltdown when he wants "one more story" and he "isnt tired"
2010 Lay on couch with hand over eyes while toddlers cry in cribs, wonder when we should go in to soothe (when? if?)

Sound like fun? It didnt start so bad. For awhile, the toddlers would get fussy around 1900. Our preschooler, perhaps in an attempt to get some of the parental attention, shortly followed suit. Then the toddlers started melting down at 1645... 1630... until we have this messy, crying time from after dinner to bedtime. Our preschooler isnt even playing during this time. He follows us from room to room tattling on his brothers and yelling at them, "No! No! No, baby!" Our toddlers arent playing. They are throwing toys, emptying toy bins, and yanking toys from each other. Occasionally an impromptu chasing game breaks out, usually ending with one of the toddlers sprinting into the corner of the table and our preschooler hollering, "I didnt do it!"

Supernanny? Pamela Druckerman? Suggestions?

So we are making ch-ch-changes. No more will an open bottle of wine be the wind under my wings in the evening. Nope. We are going to teach self-entertaining and reclaim our evenings. Page 124 states, "Im also struck by the nearly universal assumption that even good mothers arent at the constant service to their children, and that theres no reason to feel bad about that... In France, the dominant social message is that while being a parent is very important, it shouldnt subsume ones other roles." The other night, we talked about how we want our evenings to go instead.

Before we got into how the kids should be behaving, we talked about how we the adults wanted to spend the evening. We arent big news watchers (he reads the news on the computer and I get the New York Times) and we dont like the kids hearing those horrible news reports. We want to sit in the family room after we clean the kitchen and talk about our day, read stories with the kids, perhaps play games like we used to. We want to enjoy this family time.

Our boys are 4-years old and 20-months old. Our 4-year old is old enough to play with toys quietly or to do his Look and Find books on his own. These are reasonable expectations. It isnt our job to entertain him all day long and we definitely do not need to be on the floor instructing him with these games. Our 20-months old are a bit of a different story. Their attention spans are shorter and their impulses harder to ignore. They may know not to touch the dogs water, but if a toy accidentally falls in there, they will have a hard time walking away. Thats about the end of our knowledge on the subject. How do we get them to stop whining all evening?

We started cracking down on listening all day. When we say "No throwing," dont throw. When we say, "Sit on the couch," we mean sit on the couch. When we say, "Keep your hands to yourself," we mean keep your hands to yourself. We have D play by himself throughout the day, having him play with new Christmas toys in the privacy of his room. We get the toddlers to play in different areas of the house so they can stack blocks or do puzzles on their own. Im doing more skill building activities with them, like cooking or drawing pictures. They are learning to take instruction and achieve results. It hasnt exactly translated to the evening yet. Yesterday evening, D did play with his Finn McMissile in the family room while C and O each stacked their own block towers. We even achieved a rare moment of calm. Both the toddlers were snuggled under a blanket with me, our dog perched on top, and D was snuggled up with Daddy. We sat on the couch watching some football thing for several minutes before a toddler wildly shoved a toy in my eye as he attempted to sit himself up.

This is a work in progress.

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continuous weight loss during pregnancy | Why should I shop at the commissary

continuous weight loss during pregnancy

It seems a lot of people avoid the commissaries for any number of reasons or are in support of them for the "lower enlisted." Personally, I think commissaries are full of savings that benefit all ranks, especially our family of five (soon to be six). I also think that shopping at the commissary and thus supporting it with my dollars is a way to ensure continued commissary benefits both for my family and for other military families, especially the OCONUS locations where the commissary benefits are crucial. Some of the complaints against the commissary, I believe, are made without an understanding as to how the commissary operates and is funded. I hope this blog post sheds some light on why you should shop at the commissary and how to get around the somewhat inconvenient aspects of commissary shopping, such as limited hours and tipping.

Commissaries are a non-profit organization ran by the Defense Commissary Agency (DeCA). From the DeCA website:

Although commissaries collectively realize sales of about $5 billion per year, there is no profit generated on these sales. By law, commissaries are required to sell goods at prices that are set at a level to recover the cost of goods, with no profit built into these prices. There are also very stringent legal controls on the ways that DeCA can use taxpayer monies that Congress provides to operate commissaries.

Commissaries run on appropriated funding, meaning tax payers support the commissaries and funding is regularly voted on. Remember during the sequester when all the commissaries shutdown? This was due to the fact that commissaries operate on appropriated funding (read my blog post, "Government shutdown," and Military.coms 2013 article, "Commissary Cuts Remain Likely"), unlike exchanges which operate on non-appropriated funding. The prices at the commissary also reflect a 5% surcharge on each purchase. Question and answer on the DeCA webpage, "why does DeCA make me pay a surcharge on my commissary purchase?"

Surcharge is applied to the total value of each commissary purchase because the Congress has mandated collection of surcharge (currently 5 percent) to pay for commissary construction, equipment and maintenance. All surcharge dollars collected are returned to commissary patrons in the form of continually improved commissary facilities. The amount of surcharge applied to a commissary sale transaction is shown as "SCG" on your sales receipt.

What exactly does this surcharge pay for? From the DeCA Working Capital Fund Fiscal Year 2000/2001 Biennial Budget Estimates Operating Budget, page 2:

Surcharge Collections represents a third major source for funding commissary operations. Surcharge Collections is a trust fund primarily funded by a five percent surcharge applied to patron sales at the check-out counter. This fund was established so authorized patrons share responsibility for overall costs of commissary operations, including commissary supplies, equipment, utilities at CONUS locations, information management equipment and support, and commissary construction program. This fund also receives revenue from prompt payment discounts, the sale of used cardboard and equipment, and services provided to others.

Page 3 of the same report outlines the differences between CONUS and OCONUS commissary locations and the absolute importance of OCONUS locations to military families:

OCONUS and remote locations cost more per dollar of sales than CONUS locations, using about 45 percent of available appropriated fund support to produce 22 percent of sales. These commissaries are more expensive because operating and support costs in foreign and remote locations are higher. Many locations service small-to-medium military populations with smaller sales and higher fixed costs. Additionally, there are significant support costs incurred in providing U.S. food products and household items to overseas locations, e.g., transportation of $156 million in FY 2000.

...In spite of these cost considerations, commissary operations overseas are efficient and effective because DeCA’s infrastructure provides economies that are not achievable by other alternatives. The commissary system is also instrumental in reducing cost of living allowances (COLA) overseas by providing low-cost groceries.

The commissary system is critical in supporting military members and their families overseas. This military population does not have adequate alternative shopping available. OCONUS commissaries are more than a place for acquiring groceries. They are an essential "life-line" of the overseas military community and their quality of life.

 The general rule of thumb is that shopping at the commissary will save you on average 30% than what you would pay at an average grocery store. The commissary also is very coupon friendly. Overseas commissaries even accept manufacturer coupons 6 months past their expiration date. For the complete coupon policy at the commissary, check out this link: "Coupon Use in Commissaries." One difference between couponing at the commissary and couponing at an average grocery store is that commissaries do not have loss leaders (check out the Crazy Coupon Ladys post "Whats a Loss Leader and How Do I Find One at my Supermarket?"). The DeCA website explains why the commissary does not offer loss leaders: "Because commissaries are required by law to sell items at cost-- neither higher nor lower– we cant offer loss leaders." The commissary also changes its flier on a different schedule than average grocery stores, according to their website:

Stateside commissaries change prices twice a month, as opposed to the private sector, where prices are changed weekly or more frequently. Commissary prices are changed on the 1st and 16th of each month and are usually in effect for 30 to 45 days. These price changes are generally about a 50-50 mix, with some prices being lowered as items go on a special promotion or sale and some raised as items come off a special promotion or sale. 

 Even without loss leaders, the commissary website claims:

However, although you may find selected items at lower prices in commercial stores, our price surveys provide convincing evidence that-if you shop regularly in a commissary for all or virtually all of your grocery needs--you will save 30 percent or more on your grocery bill versus what you would pay in a commercial store for the same array of items.

The National Military Associations article, "Protecting Our Commissary Savings," states:

A military family of four saves $4,500 a year when regularly using the commissary. Multiply that average savings by the number of military families who use the commissary and you see how effectively and efficiently the $1.4 billion [appropriated funding] is used.

In the About.com USMilitary "What the Recruiter Never Told You" Part 13 Military Commissaries and Exchanges article by Rod Powers, he compares commissary prices with WalMart Super Store prices:

In preparation for this article, I visited a local Wal Mart "Super Store," and bought $103.57 worth of groceries. I then made a list of the items I bought and traveled to Patrick AFB... At the commissary there, I priced the exact same items. According to DeCA, my commissary bill should have been around $70.00. Had I actually purchased the items, my bill would have been $85.52. Tack on the 5 percent surcharge, and it would have been $89.79. I wont count the baggers tip, as Commissary baggers not only bag your groceries but take them outside and load them into your car. Thats worth every penny of the tip, in my opinion. My total discount would have been 13.3 percent.

Tipping at the commissary is subjective. I typically do not carry cash. However, when checking out at the commissary, I can request specific dollar amounts of cash back when paying with my debit card. The last time I went to the commissary I requested $10 cash back in the form of one $5 and five $1. The baggers at the commissary work entirely off of tips and are not government or commissary employees. I generally put $1-$2 in the jar if I do not have the baggers take my groceries to the car and about $5 for a normal grocery load if they do. $2-$5 is generally considered acceptable when tipping at the commissary. Often times I tip more over holidays or when I have an exceptionally large or cumbersome load. Using the self-checkout at the commissary does not require tipping.
 
According to the DeCA Working Capital Fund Fiscal Year 2000/2001 Biennial Budget Estimates Operating Budget, page 3, "Commissary operating hours and days are determined by sales, patron demographics, and local installation needs. Due to funding limitations, commissaries are open an average of 48 hours a week." The same report estimates on page 22 that an average grocery store is open roughly 117 hours a week, just to compare the differences between commissary hours and average grocery store hours. While the commissary often has limited hours, they generally open their doors a half hour before the cash registers are open. This is very convenient for me when shopping with the kids. I can do my shopping when the commissary is still relatively empty and get to the cash registers right when they open, making for a speedy check out. Even so, the limited shopping hours are often inconvenient for my family. The commissary opens later than most other area grocery stores. On weekends when we are making big pancake breakfasts and run out of an ingredient, it is often before the commissary is open. Or when my hubby calls on his way home from school and I want him to swing by the commissary for something, it is often when the commissary is closing or right before, forcing him to use a different grocery store. And just like the Chick-Fil-A law (anyone else only crave Chick-Fil-A on Sundays?), we inevitably need something from the commissary on the day it is closed.
 
The previous quote from the DeCA Working Capital Fund Fiscal Year 2000/2001 Biennial Budget Estimates Operating Budget
brings up a very valid point: "Commissary operating hours and days are determined by sales, patron demographics, and local installation needs." This is where the responsibility falls on us, the commissary shoppers. If we arent shopping at our local commissaries, the hours will continue to get cut and commissaries will continue to close. While the commissary is not the vital lifeline for us here in South Carolina as it was for us in Hawaii, shopping at CONUS locations helps keeps OCONUS locations afloat, balancing out the commissaries non-profit budget. How important are these commissary locations to military families? This article on Hawaii News Now, "Milk Prices in Hawaii Go Up" by Beth Hillyer, outlines the prices of milk in Hawaii, "The highest price we found on Oahu for a gallon of whole milk was $8.99 on sale for $7.49 if you have a value card. The cheapest was Costco for $4.99 per gallon." This article obviously doesnt include commissary prices on milk, but you can see how shopping at an average grocery store in Hawaii for the basics starts adding up!

So where do I stand on commissary prices? Do I think that they are always much less than shopping out in town? Here in South Carolina, no. For the bulk of our family shopping, we go to Costco (read my post, "Family diet verses family budget"). In general, Costco has lower prices on more of the staples of our family grocery list than my local commissary. Do I think the commissary in general has lower prices than an average grocery store here in South Carolina? Yes, especially when loss leaders are not on our list and we are just getting those in-between Costco trips items or small portions of things we couldnt buy at Costco (fresh herbs, for instance). Do I think that dealing with the "hassle" of the commissary is worth supporting this service to military families? Absolutely.
 
Here are a list of common complaints against the commissary-- many of which are my own complaints when compared to an average grocery store-- and how I deal with them to continue to support this service:

 1. They do not offer online grocery shopping.
I love online grocery shopping, as Ive mentioned in several previous blog posts. Where we live in South Carolina, there are no local grocery stores convenient that offer online grocery shopping, so this really isnt much of an issue for me. If I had to choose between shopping at the commissary or placing an order online with Harris Teeter... I think it would be a much harder choice for me. As is, I have the choice to either go in to a local grocery store or to go into our commissary. I usually choose the commissary, unless it is closed or pay day.
 
2. Their check out system is ridiculous.
Well, I agree. I do not like the big ole one line system. My friends without kids tell me it moves fast. Standing in that one line with all three of my kids is about as much fun as taking the boys with me to the clinic on base (which I also do). Since our boys are so young (5-years old and 3-years old), I solve this by going early in the day, arriving when they open the door, about half hour before the registers open. Ive even taken them all on pay day-- totally unintentionally. I get our shopping done and am either the first or second person in line. When I only have one or two items I need, arriving early works great too because I can be first in line for self-check out and we really are in and out.
 
3. You have to tip the baggers.
Maybe Im frivolous, but this doesnt really bother me. I never have cash, so Im always glad I can request cash back when I check out. I generally dont like the baggers coming out to the car with me. The mini van is impossible to load groceries in with the stroller in the back and our toddlers are always a hot mess to load up. Most of the time, I have them load my groceries back into my shopping cart and put a tip in their jar. The $1-$5 doesnt feel like a big deal and the times I take my hubbys car without the kids, I like having my groceries loaded up for me.

4. The commissary is so... dark.
Yeah, it isnt bright and fancy like Harris Teeter or Whole Foods. But neither is Costco. It may not have the upscale look, but it does the job. This is our fourth duty station; weve shopped at all different types of grocery stores across the country. The commissary just really doesnt bother me.

And here are some links to help with your commissary shopping:

 

The blog "Commissary Deals" teaches you not only how to coupon at the commissary, but tips you off to current deals! Learn the commissarys coupon policy, how to navigate commissary sales, and how to make the most of case lot sales. New to couponing? Check out the Getting Started: Learn to Coupon tab. This website is seriously a treasure trove of useful links (check out the Categories and Topics menu on the right hand side of the page!).

 

SpouseBuzzs blog post, "Price Expert: Commissary vs WalMart"

 

Military.coms article, "Study Confirms 30% Savings at Commissaries"

 

InCharges article by Ellie Kay, "Go Crazy for Coupons! Commissary Shopping Tips"

 

Note: Ive mentioned it before, but I am not a couponer. I know many people coupon which is why I provided the links for couponing at the commissary. I save money when doing our family grocery shopping by sticking to our list and minimizing our trips to the store. :)

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rapid pregnancy weight loss | My Grannys Purse Review

rapid pregnancy weight loss

Toddlers appear to have an affinity for items and objects that they shouldnt really have. When you have to try and keep a toddler amused, say at a restaurant or on an aeroplane, the colouring pencils and book you try and distract them with tend to go flying over your head as they proceed to empty out the contents of your handbag.  There are way too many objects and treasures to pull out and explore in a handbag! 

Our family recently went out for an evening meal and our daughter came too, and, whilst she is very well behaved (most of the time), sitting still at the table is quite a feat.  My mum then pulled out this amazing little book that she had bought, and my daughter thought it was the best thing. Ever. 

My Grannys Purse is a book by Paul Hanson and it is a book that is a purse.  Or a purse that is a book. Its thick cardboard pages are bound together and constructed so it appears as though you are rummaging through Grandmas actual handbag. Amazing. There is lots of detail to each page and lovely little phrases throughout which mirror the relationship between what mums say and what Grandmas say.  But, thats about as much words as you get in this book as its not about the reading. This book / purse is all about imagination and exploring.  You can remove a pair of funky spectacles from their case and try them on, or peer into Grandmas mirror. 

There are places to stick photographs of Grandma and your little one too, to personalise the book. My daughter thought her dreams had come true looking in this book, and it kept her entertained throughout our meal. She even got to try on a selection of diamond rings! The next morning, as soon as my daughter woke up she was asking for her handbag!

My Grannys Purse retails around £10 and there is also a mummys purse book in the series that I will be looking out for. I love this book for its unique idea and because it fits perfectly with that toddler age of intrigue and wanting to explore. Its absolutely perfect for travelling with little ones or when you need to keep them still and entertained. It would make a lovely gift too. 

Have you read this book before? Do you know of any other toddler books that are similar? Comments below please and as always thanks for reading. 

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can weight loss occur during pregnancy | The best things in life are free

can weight loss occur during pregnancy

 

My husband and I have had a tight past couple years. We didnt think we made a lot of money while he was an E-5 on a submarine. We lived in Hawaii with a toddler and-- I admit it-- I am horrible at sticking to a budget. Well, moving to North Carolina for the STA-21 program, we lost our sea pay, sub pay, nuke pay, sea pay kicker, COLA... And then we had twins. And moved locally-- twice. Of course we feel that the STA-21 program is worth it and we are exceedingly grateful that the military is paying Hubby to get his degree. However, weve had many, many, many late night talks about the budget. Weve struggled over how we should spend our money and what expenses are necessary. It is amazing what I feel is necessary and what he feels is necessary.

For instance, last semester, he took a very heavy load at school, being his senior year. He left in the morning before preschool started and came home after the kids were in bed. Near the end of the semester, he wasnt getting home until 10 or 11 oclock at night. Most of his classes involved group projects. Since most of the students in his class are single college-age kids who work to pay for school, it was hard finding time that all the group members could get together. He would meet group members weeknights after they got off work and most Sunday evenings. The only upside to this schedule was taking the kids to campus to meet him for the odd-mealtime. They love seeing where Daddy "works" and getting tours. Anyways, I was taking care of the kids from the time they woke up to the time they went to bed all by myself, plus trying to accommodate Hubbys schedule, staying up later to see him and driving the kids over to campus when possible. I was burning myself out. I hired a weekly baby-sitter. Im telling you, that became my favorite day of the week. I loved knowing that she would come over to feed the kids and put them to bed, even though it was just that one day. I loved having another adult to chat with while I got my things ready to go. Even better, I loved how much the kids loved having her over. She played games with them and made the evening activities feel fun and new. That day renewed me and gave me something to look forward to. Since Hubby wasnt home with the kids all day, it was harder for him to understand justifying the expense. To his credit, he didnt say anything negative to me about it. That simple act of supporting me in the expense really made me fall in love with him all over again.

This semester isnt as stressful as last semester. The bulk of his courses are electives toward his degree. Being a mathematically minded person, it is much more time-consuming reading than he prefers. The thing I like about it is that he can read at home. A lot of days he locks himself in our bedroom to do homework-- but hes home. He doesnt need to meet up with groups or get help with equations. Weve continued having a baby-sitter come over. Weve gone out to dinner together, ran errands, and spent time with our oldest outside the house. It has been a blessing for us. (I really think the toddlers, especially, are starting to love the sitter more than us! Haha!) This expense has fallen into the category of something we can both agree on.

Other things arent so clear, like ordering in, picking up take-out, or eating out. The expense of feeding all five of us out is much greater than when it was just Hubby and I eating out. Even then, we felt that it wasnt a justified expense. Eating out is fun-- and should stay fun-- but it is expensive. Lately, I havent had the time to cook for all of us. Im so sick of fast food and frozen food options. They all start tasting the same. I havent had time for grocery shopping, so Ive been tossing together simple meals when I can. Some meals have been delicious, like the broiled salmon with the buttery, crispy skin. I need to take some time to buy ingredients for meals I can make and freeze. I agree that the expense for eating out isnt always worth the convenience. When I get behind the ball, I dont know how to get the kids to calm down so I can prepare something to get on the table. I prefer for eating out to be a fun family experience, where we feel like it is a fun treat, not hungry, fussy kids struggling through a meal. I need to get my act together; really, I need to pull out the crock pot again!

Nothing can divide two people like finances. We can have a wonderful evening with the kids, but once they are in bed and he logs on to the bank, the questions start. I get defensive, he gets frustrated, and there is an argument. So far, every challenge in our marriage has brought us closer. This money challenge has been no different. While it hasnt always been easy, we have been able to communicate with each other our points of view. Ive told him where Im struggling and hes explained where hes struggling. It helps so much to understand where the other person is coming from.

So what am I loving this Valentines Day? My husband. Hes my best friend and we are living this life together. We dont always agree with each other, but we respect each others opinion and do our best to work as a team.

And, in all honesty, we love, love, love our baby-sitters! :) Happy Valentines Day!

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pregnancy weight loss after miscarriage | The guilt nobody told me about

pregnancy weight loss after miscarriage

Before LL came along my three year old daughter was my little partner in crime.  Ive been lucky enough that since she was born Ive been able to have a career break from work. This has meant me and my daughter have been pretty much inseparable.  We have done everything together.  The good times of spontaneous picnics, girls shopping trips and farm visits, and (lets not wear rose tinted glasses here) even the not so good times, like when she spilt a whole jug of milk down me in the middle of Marks and Spencer or when she tantrum rolled herself down an aisle in Sainsburys. 

Before LL came, in those last few weeks of my pregnancy, I really treasured every moment. I knew things were about to change.  But what nobody told me is how our relationship would change, or the guilt Id feel as my role changed.  

In these first few weeks of having LL, my time has been almost entirely consumed with caring for a newborn.  With breastfeeding, changing and caring for this little bundle 24/7. And I guess that is how it should be.  Ive included my eldest in all the things youre meant to, like reading to her whilst Im feeding, including her to help care for LL.  But still, theres been a change.  

Its not me she calls for if she needs something now. Its not me she gets into the car and sits nicely for.  Its her Daddy. I feel like Im suddenly second best.  

And I know this is good.  My husband tells me its nice to finally be that person for a change, instead of it always being me.  And I know this is completely normal.  But that doesnt stop me feeling guilty when she asks for Daddy when Im stood right next to her.  Or when I tell her to wait a minute for the hundredth time as LL has just been sick everywhere again.

I know I cant do everything.  I know Im not superwoman.  But that doesnt stop me from wanting to be.  I guess I have to adjust to being a mum of two.  I just wish someone had forewarned me of this guilt I feel.  

I think the transition from three to four just takes time for us all, I just hope my eldest always knows how much I love her, even if its not just us two girls anymore when Daddy goes to work.  Its something even more special now, its us three girls.  The three musketeers.  

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baby losing weight weaning | Motherhood Nobody said it was easy

baby losing weight weaning

You know whats hard? Life. Marriage. Being a parent.

All of that.

Ive been feeling like a failure lately in my endeavors. People say things to me like, "I dont know how you do it!" and "You are a supermom" and "4 boys? You are amazing."

Most of it is lip service from strangers, the go-to things that people say to moms (and moms for 4 boys). It goes in one ear and out the other most of the time, but lately those comments have been giving me stress. This was a crazy move for us, a big change returning to boat life and living across country from my family. I feel like Im barely holding on and that Im frequently dropping the ball with our kids. We wrestled with our decision to send our oldest to public school instead of continuing homeschooling him. We wrestled with the decision to homeschool our 4-year old twins instead of re-configuring the budget to send them to preschool. Weve been wrestling with the decision on whether or not I want to go back to college (and all that entails-- registering, student loans or GI Bill, childcare, time commitment, yadda yadda). Just life decisions. It is all life and it is all normal and it is all good, but it has been a lot all at once.

But through all of this, I have felt like I have been stretched as a mother. One of our 4-years has been struggling with his asthma. Our baby had bronchiolitis and is taking a long time to recover. I am s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d. The other day, our 1st grader wanted me to come see the DinoTrux he built out of Legos and one of our preschoolers was babbling and the baby needed a nebulizer treatment and the dog was barking because the delivery man dropped a package off at the door and who knows where the other preschooler was... and I snapped, "Go to your rooms! Go, go, go!"

I want a break.

When I hear the lip service from strangers, I think, "Is this really as good as it gets?" It makes me feel like they dont really know how it goes at home. They may see a glimpse of our life-- the boys darting around happily at the park-- but all I can think is that the boys will be so tired leaving that 2 of them will be crying, one will be hitting another, and another will be taking off down the path on the way to the car instead of listening to me... and that once we get home I will have to wrestle them all through the bedtime routine. I feel like Im yelling all the time. I feel like Im sneaking to my room all the time to let the stress go, to say a prayer, to plead to God for some mommy courage, to vent to new friends who probably think Im nuts. And so the kind words from strangers, most likely meant to be encouraging, often make me feel like Im falling short from what they "think" of me, that Im not portraying our true selves, and that surely motherhood has to be more than where we are right now.

I know motherhood is more than this. We have days and strides where I am overwhelmed with joy from my our children. We have moments where I cant imagine being anywhere else in the world. And then the last couple weeks have left me feeling burnt out. BURNT OUT. Like, flame extinguished, running on fumes, headache, heartache, tears, sleepless nights, BURNT OUT. My face feels like it is in a constant frown and I swear Im getting wrinkles from worry lines. Im sure that my far away friends and family think Im a nut. Im texting everyone too much and calling too much and writing too much and in general, being a hot mess. Im venting to new friends about potty training woes, 4-year old woes, back to school woes, moving woes, Navy woes, woe, woe, woe... and I wake up in the morning feeling defeated before my feet hit the ground.

I finally opened up a devotional I got from MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) last year and find myself nodding "yes" to every page. Known & Loved by Caryn Rivadeneira has been such a comfort. This morning I made everyone breakfast and eagerly opened up my devotional, ready to dive into the Word and feel like Im finally getting my feet back on the ground. My parents recently flew out for a visit and it was so good, so good having my mom get us on schedule and making me feel like I wasnt losing my mind. Reading this devotional is a lot like that feeling, the rope guiding me through this dark tunnel where Im not sure what lays ahead or if other people feel this way. The best part of this devotional, to me, is discovering, yes. Yes... other moms do feel this way. It is a day by day journey. There are hard times. Change is hard. Change is hard on the children. It is hard on the parents. It is hard on me-- I feel like it all is falling on my shoulders to guide each of them individually through this time of transition and that somehow, from somewhere, I need to have all the answers. It feels like our world has been turned upside down and that all these little eyes are looking at me for guidance and Im just as confused-- yet somehow in charge of the ship. I have to balance their physical needs with the clockwork schedule of our house and now this crazy range of emotional needs as well. How do I get it all done?

Ive struggled with this blog post because I havent known all the words I wanted to put in it, the feelings Ive wanted to convey. There are so many moving parts when you PCS, when you check into a new command, when you arrive in a new duty station, when your kids are going to a new school, when your children grow from preschool and kindergarten to 1st grade (so big!). And cold and flu season approaching, managing asthma in a new climate... another one of our children diagnosed with reactive airways, 2 children on Albuterol, doctors appointments, trips to the hospital, nights up worrying and monitoring breathing... my head spins thinking about all of the things that have gone on during this PCS. What finally motivated me to get this blog post in writing was our sons first day of 1st grade. I was so proud of myself for holding it together that morning, proud of our 4-year olds (who have been struggling with all the changes) for behaving like gentlemen dropping off their big brother, and proud of our 1st grader for being brave when he was so nervous. Most of all, I was proud of all 4 of our boys for having listening ears on as we wandered around the school hallways trying to figure out where to go and what we are doing and how we do school pick up. I left the school feeling like, "It is getting better. We are putting one foot in front of the other and moving in the right direction." We went to a coffee shop to celebrate the occasion; I bought our younger 3 boys each a chocolate milk and myself a pumpkin spice latte. We sat in the sunshine and chatted with other parents doing the same thing. The 4-year olds were right back at their busy behavior-- they have been keeping me busy, like gray hair busy. As I chatted, a lady at the coffee shop felt the need to interrupt my conversation with a fellow momma to let me know how I was parenting wrong. Can I even begin to tell you how defeated, deflated, and embarrassed I was at that moment? This happened in front of a couple that I had met just that day, fellow parents at our brand new school in our brand new duty station. I ended up bustling my boys out of there and walking them to the park so I could get fresh air and not cry at the coffee shop. I was so embarrassed. So embarrassed at how the couple must perceive me and that my children were such a nuisance that someone had to dive into the middle of my conversation to inform me of how she feels their behavior should be corrected. I looked out over the water by the park and wondered if we were making progress or if we were just sitting at square one.

That is when words from the devotional came back to me, Psalm 94:18-19, "When I said, My foot is slipping, your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy." Ive also had Coldplays "The Scientist" stuck in my head the past couple weeks (parenting: brought to you by the Bible and Coldplay... dont worry, I know my life is a mess): "Nobody said it was easy/ no one ever said it would be this hard/ Oh, take me back to the start."

It isnt easy. Im not sure when I will hit my stride and feel like, "Ive got this." Perhaps I will always feel like we are a hot mess and maybe the dull headache will come and go over the years as these children try my nerves at every turn. Perhaps God has me where he wants me-- calling out to him hour by hour and day by day. Ive said it before that one thing I love about life as a submariners wife is that I have to opportunity to see my faith come alive in every day life; I am there again right now.

For any strangers or friends who light-heartedly want to say, "You are a supermom." No, not a supermom. I am a mom that has no idea what shes doing. Im a mom that makes mistakes, big and small, every day. Im a mom with a heart full of love for friends and family and doing my best, just like every other mom out there. Im a mom that says sorry and who leaves coffee shops crying after people judge my parenting, perhaps harshly or perhaps for good reason (though that ladys timing could have been better). Im a mom that has super long evenings and super stressful mornings. Im a mom that ends honest tries at involving the kids in projects with a headache, wondering if it was worth the effort, but always trying again, hoping that this time will be more fun or a little easier. Im a mom that always stresses about if a bone is broken or if that is normal breathing or labored breathing or if we should call the doctor (how about we just call to be on the safe side...). Im a mom that packs lunches that are never eaten or are only picked at, that has a mini van covered in snacks and chicken nuggets. Im a mom that wears shirts I thought were clean, only to find them caked with oatmeal or whatever else life throws at me. Im a mom that swears, sometimes intentionally and sometimes on accident. Im a mom that doesnt read directions and then wonders why I cant get new batteries in a Lightning McQueen flashlight. Im a mom that calls my mom for every problem and my best friends for all the other problems that arise in between phone calls to my momma. Im a mom that loves each and every moment with my children and is also surprised and exhausted over how freaking hard each and every moment with my children can be.

I think all parents are super parents. Life is hard and we are all doing what we can. Treat each other with love. Because that mom that you chewed out at the coffee shop is having a super rough couple of weeks. She may look like she was gossiping with friends while her kids ran amok, but Im telling you, she wasnt. I went back to talk to that lady, but she wasnt there. I tried to picture what that glimpse in my life looked like to her and wanted to give her a bigger picture. In my 7 years of parenting, she is not the first person to offer "insight" as to how I should be parenting. This one just happened to fall at a tender, vulnerable moment in my life. I know that we will have many more comments made to us in this parenthood journey and I hope each time God reminds me of his Word and his promises just as I feel myself falling apart.

"When I said, My foot is slipping, your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy."
Psalm 94:18-19

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