post pregnancy weight loss journey | SPRING IT MAY ENHANCE FERTILITY

post pregnancy weight loss journey

Pregnancy Over 40, Spring and Fertility

Since spring has sprung and, along with it (at least where I live), some very nice weather, I thought Id share an article that connects spring with everything from elevated moods to increased fertility. Read more:

Scientists know that when seasons change, the retina — the part of the eye connected to the brain by the optic nerve — naturally reacts to variations in the amount of daylight. This triggers hormonal changes.

Particularly important is the adjustment in melatonin, a hormone that affects our mood and how we sleep. As a result of light changes, the body naturally produces less melatonin during spring, causing a lift in mood, a reduced desire to sleep, an increase in sexual appetite and a need to eat less.

SEE ALSO: BEE POLLEN FOR FERTILITY (getpregnantover40.com)

New findings published in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition, by researchers at the University of Massachusetts medical school, have also proved that activity levels rise as the days get longer. After analysing the exercise habits and food intakes of almost 600 men and women over a year, Professor Yunsheng Ma found that most subjects gained up to 2lb (1kg) in winter; they ate lots of carbohydrate and exercised little. Come spring, however, activity levels soared and calorie intake dropped. It seemed that the only reason for this was the change in season.

This is partly a psychological effect but also physical. Evolutionary biologists believe that our bodies are programmed to be more active as the hormone mix changes with more light. Released from the chemical messages that make us withdraw in winter, the body feels energised, ready to hunt for food and to give birth.

Spring is also the time, supposedly, when a young man’s thoughts turn to sex. And it is true that men are more fertile at this time of year than any other. Ironically, though, this is because levels of actual sexual activity seem to drop in spring. The less sex men have, the more they save up their sperm and the greater their sperm count when they do have sex.

Professor Michael Smolensky, a chronobiologist from the University of Texas specialising in the relationship of biology to the rhythms of hours, days and months, says that statistics indicate that sexual activity in human beings is much greater in autumn,. “When we look at couples who have kept sex diaries and single males who have kept their own data, sexual activity is rather low in spring,” Smolensky says.

This fits with studies that have shown conclusively that levels of testosterone, the male sex hormone, are higher in late summer and early autumn than spring, so that’s when men have the greatest sex drive and when conception rates are high.

But sperm counts do peak in March, April and May. Smolensky says: “In sexually active males, sperm count is affected by two factors, environmental temperature and sexual activity. When men are sexually active, sperm count goes down; when they’re not sexually active, they’re not using it, so it goes up.” That could explain Smolensky’s findings that there are more unplanned babies conceived during spring than any other time of year. There are more sperm around, so despite less sex, one’s more likely to hit the mark.

Spring not only improves our mood and energy levels, it can protect our teeth and bones. On the first few sunny days of spring many people feel the urge to take off those winter togs and do a bit of prancing in the sunshine. This is in response to the fact that for several months our bodies have been starved of vitamin D, essential for healthy bones and teeth. And we make it only when our skins are exposed to sunlight. We’re craving a top-up. 
  (www.timesonline.co.uk)

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pregnancy weight loss chart | 2 Weeks of 1 Year Molars

pregnancy weight loss chart

I have to say, these past 2 weeks have been some of the hardest so far in mothering. One word, molars! Um...how did I miss the ONE YEAR molars? I thought they didnt get them until two? Well, shows you how much Ive been reading up on the stages of my baby lately. Geesh.  All of a sudden, my happy, easy going kid has turned into the biggest whiney pants, clingy and "mommy only" child on the planet. Who ARE you? What happened to my Forest boy? Of course, this all happened right in the middle of several deadlines for my new business and blogging commitments,  etc. Ive been reduced to the speed of a slug on Benadryl. It breaks my heart that he is uncomfortable. Every remedy I try doesnt seem to have any lasting effect. Amber necklace, homeopaths, medicine, frozen wash cloths, frozen peas, frozen anything, Mickey Mouse Club, you name it. Nothing lasts more that 15 minutes max. Trying to fit bulk sewing in the mix of that is almost impossible.

poor babies. they have it so rough. cant speak any language, cant understand you, bones shoving up through their gums, and always falling down and getting a busted lip or head. :( 

Just to give myself a peek back to my daily reality, later down the road, a day goes like this: 

Sams off to work. 

Mickey Mouse or Little Einsteins goes on. (Dont you dare judge me for using the television.) ;)

Ok, he seems entertained. I scurry to my sewing center (aka dinning room) and start working on one of my piles for a group of dolls. This time its cutting out heads. Ah, somehow Káel found the remote and turned the tv to the health channel which has some sort of surgical procedure on. Nice. Gross. 

Get up, change it back, hide the remote. Crying commences. Find something to replace the remote. Ugh, where is his fake cell phone? 

In the process of finding the cell phone, I notice food dried to my floor and all of a sudden, crumbs everywhere! I start feeling clasterfobic. I grab the broom and a cloth and start sweeping it up "real quickly". 

Gah, get back to sewing Jess, you have a big deadline, less work today means more tomorrow. 

Go back to my sewing. I get maybe one or two heads done and fitted with a hair template. A very distraught and uncomfortable baby waddles up to me and throws his head on my lap, sounding very much like a moaning, dying engine. Ah, hes somehow pulling the scissors off the table!? How do you reach that. Ah, not the iron! The next 5-10 min are spent soothing, trying to feed, keep alive and/or find entertainment for my little boy. (Did I mention that he just learned to climb up onto chairs...and tables?)

As I rush into the bathroom, trying to find his pacifier (Yep, still use that too.) I catch a glance of myself in the mirror. Oh my GOSH! THATS what Sam saw as he headed out the door this morning!? My almost grown out bangs, half greasy, half dry hair with the ever multiplying gray strays, spiraling up to heaven are discouraging. Dont forget yesterdays mascara leftovers, always a nice touch. Sigh.

Now wheres his paci? What will make him happy? Why wont he eat anything? 

He tripped, and barely bumped his knee. Usually he laughs and continues exploring. Not now. The world has officially come to an end. The only thing that will console him is mommy, holding him for several minutes. Poor little darlin. AAAAAAH!  Afer he does that 10-15 times, literally within 30 min Im crying too. Dont forget to throw a poop explosion in there and I mean EXPLOSION. Of course, that really has never happened before in his whole 1 year of existence on this side of my uterus. 

Maybe a nap? Each day its been hit or miss. Wait. Is that quiet, I hear? Oh, the quiet is heavenly. 1 hour later, I hear his little voice letting me know hes awake. 

Then its starts back to square one. This repeats several times, usually worsening the later it gets. By the time Sam comes home, Im tired of being touched and clung too, Im depressed because what I wanted and needed to get done is still laying in a sad pile on my table and my house is a wreck. 

Dinner time. My "eats anything" boy only eats oatmeal, steamed apples, and frozen peas and sweet potatoes right now.  Mostly sweet potatoes. So, we try our luck with one of those. Then, it happens. Im trying to finish stitching a couple legs while Sam coaxes bites into our mini human and I cut clean through my pointer finger with my sharpest pair of scissors. I know I need stitches. Nope, pressure, hand above my head, more pressure and a bandaid that turns my finger blue. Yep. 

Finally, bed time. Quiet. My sewing pile and messy house call my name but, Im so exhausted from this unknown territory, known as 1st year molars, that I just want to sit and do nothing. I cry. Like I have been doing every night for the past 2 weeks.  Poor Samuel.  What a sight to come home to. Hes the sweetest though. After hearing my blubber about why Im crying for the umpteenth time, he goes and gets a surprise dinner, sits down and starts helping me stuff a huge pile of doll arms and legs. Come to find out, hes better than I am at the task and has the kindest smile on his face. As crazy as it sounds, it felt like a date. He knows how to make me smile again. I felt Mt. Everest lift off of my shoulders. 

Of course, once we go to bed, a few hours later, I wake up to screams. My heart breaks and my body yells at me for sleep. The only thing that will coax my baby back to dream land is a bottle, Infant Benadryl and mommy holding him. I cant stand to see him in pain and not be able to tell him why it hurts so bad. I drag myself back to bed.

Ugh...morning is almost here.

I get a text from a friend telling me it wont last and before I know it hell wake up and magically return to the baby I know. I cling to her glimmers of hope. Reread it Jess. Reread it again. 

Little boy, I wish I could make your mouth feel better. I feel so helpless, and...crazy. No, seriously, crazy. haha. Our friends keep telling us that, one day youll wake up and be like your old self again. I cant wait. Bless your heart. Even though Im at the point of pulling my hair out, I know one day, when youre older, Ill long for even one of these rough days, just to hold you. Right now, you are cuddled under my arm, watching a kids show and trying to call someone on my iPhone.  My sewing pile is glaring at me, but you are happy at the moment, and you are enjoying my closeness. That works. Ill take it. I love you little babes. 

-Momma

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post baby weight loss journey | LIGHT AND FERTILITY

post baby weight loss journey

Pregnancy Over 40, The Light/Dark Connection

I frequently write about the importance of sleep and paying attention to the balance between light and dark on your bodys cycle.
 This article does a good job of explaining the importance of light during the day and the earths natural rhythms. Read more:

When you are in sync with the earths natural rhythms and cycles you can boost your fertility. If you work against natures rhythms as many of us do, then you may be harming your delicate fertility balance.

Your biological clock is intimately linked to your reproductive system by utilizing the same hormones that trigger ovulation and sperm maturation. Therefore both women and men are affected by respecting or ignoring their natural rhythms.

See Also: Inositol and Egg Quality(www.getpregnantover40.com)

Importance of Bright Light

Getting adequate sunlight or other full spectrum light during the day is key to optimum fertility for many reasons. Vitamin D is created in our bodies when we are exposed to sunlight and Vitamin D deficiencies have been linked to infertility.

Adequate sunlight also helps regulate circadian rhythms which allow you to sleep better at night. Regular exposure to the sun also helps you maintain a strong immune system which is necessary to maintain a healthy pregnancy. Women who get more sunlight also have consistent and stronger menstrual cycles.

Finally, bright light prevents your body from overproducing melatonin which suppresses fertility. This might explain why it is easier for women to conceive in southern regions and during the summer months. 
from: 
Boost Your Fertility While You Sleep by Sheryl Lyon

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weight loss during pregnancy pictures | One of those phases

weight loss during pregnancy pictures

I sat down this morning to write a blog post on our family schedule and why routines work well for us. However, as I was typing our toddlers kept interrupting me with issue after issue.

Whining.

Whining.

Whining.

I eventually felt myself getting more and more frustrated, losing my train of thought and writing long, rambling paragraphs that lead nowhere. I saved the blog post and closed the browser.

I tried switching gears. I reached out to a fellow momma and shared my frustrations, got some support; even texting someone can help get some encouragement. I switched activities. Obviously blogging wasnt going to happen; lets color! Lets start school earlier than usual. Lets do something organized together.

I called our kindergartner back inside to do some school. He got out his school supplies. One of our toddlers started whining, unprovoked. Literally standing in the middle of the room making high-pitched whiny, screeching noises over and over again. I gave him a warning. I invited him to sit with us and to color. He persisted. I walked him to his room and told him whining was unacceptable. He started screaming and hitting the door when I closed it. I took a deep breath and prayed, "God, let me love my kids through you. Let me show them your love."

I went back to the table with the other 2 boys, a toddler and our kindergartner. We said the Pledge of Allegiance. We prayed together. I went back to get the toddler in quiet time and asked if he wanted to join us. He declined and said he was sorry for whining and that he wanted to play in the playroom. He started getting dressed in costumes. I resumed school with the other 2 boys. The toddler at the table finished coloring and said he wanted to do costumes; he cleaned up his markers and went to the playroom. Moments later the first toddler came out of the playroom whining, whining, whining. I instructed him to use his words. He was frustrated; his backpack was broken. I informed him it was upside down and that is why everything was falling out. I offered to help him. He backed away whining. He let out the high pitch screeching whine over and over and so I walked him to his room to collect himself. He whined and whined at the door. I prayed. I went back to school with the other 2. I came back awhile later to ask if he wanted to come out of his room and he threw a toy at the door. I tucked him in for a nap and told him he needed to rest. I came back to do the calendar with the other 2 boys. It went well. We did our thing and then the other toddler started whining-- expressionless, unprovoked whining. Why? I didnt know so I asked him to do his calendar job. He stood motionless whining. I gave him a warning. He whined. I escorted him to his room to rest as well.

I stood outside their door and felt the tears well up in my eyes. What am I doing wrong? Why are they constantly whining and fighting?

Yesterday we had a list of errands to run. On the actual errands, they were obedient and well behaved. They stood in line with me at the Post Office. They waited in the returns line at Costco. But as soon as we got in the car it was constant bickering-- constant bickering. Wild slapping in the direction of their brother, screeching at the top of their lungs, "NO!", yelling, whining, throwing, flailing, moaning...

Im exhausted. This behavior has been going on for over a week. Throw in there some potty training regression and the constant whining and bickering has just about drained me. I put them down to nap and they spend the entire time opening their respective doors bumming, "Can I come out now?" I wake up in the morning to the sounds of the toddlers fussing and fighting and whining and arguing in the hall bathroom. I put them to bed after listening to them fuss and fight and whine and argue all.day.long.

I go through moments where I feel confident and think, "This is a phase. I understand it is a phase. I understand that parenting is hard and that some phases are more enjoyable than other phases. I know their brains are developing. I know they have dealt with big changes from their dad starting prototype and being gone all day. I know we will come out of this okay and to focus on the positives."

And then there are other moments where I cringe at the thought of riding in the car with them and so I dont want to leave the house.

Where I think about how quickly they grow up and how one day they wont be 3-years old anymore, they will be 6-years old and I will wonder where the time went.

Where I hear other moms talk about how the toddler years are their favorite.

Where Im crying in the laundry room and texting my mom because I just dont know what else to do and I feel so alone.

Where I miss our old duty station because I had friends who were going through the same thing with me, who have kids the same age as mine, who invited us over for playdates and park dates and coffee dates.

Where I just hate spending all day long listening to them fight with each other.

Those moments I feel like a horrible parent.

I dont know why our toddlers are behaving this way. I spend a lot of time praying and asking God to extend some grace their way, to blanket me in his love so that I can show them his love, to strengthen me so that I have the energy and patience to be consistent. I read parenting books (my favorites: Keep Calm and Parent On and When Mothers Pray). I meditate on Philippians, my favorite book of the Bible. I hold on to those sweet moments with them in between the fussing and the fits. Yet I struggle because the absolute truth is that I am not enjoying myself.

Since I do not have a large friend base here, Ive been working on keeping myself busy. Ive been focusing a lot on things that I do enjoy doing-- kindergarten with our oldest, taking walks with our infant, reading by myself and with the kids, and cooking. Some of the cooking has been fun to do with the children, even the toddlers. Sometimes it goes downhill quickly and for no reason, like yesterday when one of the toddlers was helping me until he just broke down into a whining mess. Other times they get immense satisfaction from making the meal with me and will channel all their energy into the tasks I give them. I try to have them help me one at a time, stealing moments that I can give them my undivided attention and listen to what they have to say. I try to find tasks that play to their strengths so they can build their self-confidence. Ive also been trying to keep our calendar full, inviting friends on playdates, meeting up with girlfriends, doing things with my family. Having 4 children, homeschooling, and life as a Navy wife tend to keep our calendar full and so the hours of the day tend to slip by quickly anyways; I make my best effort to organize those hours in a way that works well for our boys.

This is one of those phases that I am just holding on and hoping that it passes quickly. It has been one of those phases that no matter what I try doesnt seem to make a big difference in how our day goes or how the toddlers behave. It has been one of those phases that make me wish I lived closer to my family and to my girlfriends.

How do you deal with these kind of phases?

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baby losing weight weaning | Motherhood Nobody said it was easy

baby losing weight weaning

You know whats hard? Life. Marriage. Being a parent.

All of that.

Ive been feeling like a failure lately in my endeavors. People say things to me like, "I dont know how you do it!" and "You are a supermom" and "4 boys? You are amazing."

Most of it is lip service from strangers, the go-to things that people say to moms (and moms for 4 boys). It goes in one ear and out the other most of the time, but lately those comments have been giving me stress. This was a crazy move for us, a big change returning to boat life and living across country from my family. I feel like Im barely holding on and that Im frequently dropping the ball with our kids. We wrestled with our decision to send our oldest to public school instead of continuing homeschooling him. We wrestled with the decision to homeschool our 4-year old twins instead of re-configuring the budget to send them to preschool. Weve been wrestling with the decision on whether or not I want to go back to college (and all that entails-- registering, student loans or GI Bill, childcare, time commitment, yadda yadda). Just life decisions. It is all life and it is all normal and it is all good, but it has been a lot all at once.

But through all of this, I have felt like I have been stretched as a mother. One of our 4-years has been struggling with his asthma. Our baby had bronchiolitis and is taking a long time to recover. I am s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d. The other day, our 1st grader wanted me to come see the DinoTrux he built out of Legos and one of our preschoolers was babbling and the baby needed a nebulizer treatment and the dog was barking because the delivery man dropped a package off at the door and who knows where the other preschooler was... and I snapped, "Go to your rooms! Go, go, go!"

I want a break.

When I hear the lip service from strangers, I think, "Is this really as good as it gets?" It makes me feel like they dont really know how it goes at home. They may see a glimpse of our life-- the boys darting around happily at the park-- but all I can think is that the boys will be so tired leaving that 2 of them will be crying, one will be hitting another, and another will be taking off down the path on the way to the car instead of listening to me... and that once we get home I will have to wrestle them all through the bedtime routine. I feel like Im yelling all the time. I feel like Im sneaking to my room all the time to let the stress go, to say a prayer, to plead to God for some mommy courage, to vent to new friends who probably think Im nuts. And so the kind words from strangers, most likely meant to be encouraging, often make me feel like Im falling short from what they "think" of me, that Im not portraying our true selves, and that surely motherhood has to be more than where we are right now.

I know motherhood is more than this. We have days and strides where I am overwhelmed with joy from my our children. We have moments where I cant imagine being anywhere else in the world. And then the last couple weeks have left me feeling burnt out. BURNT OUT. Like, flame extinguished, running on fumes, headache, heartache, tears, sleepless nights, BURNT OUT. My face feels like it is in a constant frown and I swear Im getting wrinkles from worry lines. Im sure that my far away friends and family think Im a nut. Im texting everyone too much and calling too much and writing too much and in general, being a hot mess. Im venting to new friends about potty training woes, 4-year old woes, back to school woes, moving woes, Navy woes, woe, woe, woe... and I wake up in the morning feeling defeated before my feet hit the ground.

I finally opened up a devotional I got from MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) last year and find myself nodding "yes" to every page. Known & Loved by Caryn Rivadeneira has been such a comfort. This morning I made everyone breakfast and eagerly opened up my devotional, ready to dive into the Word and feel like Im finally getting my feet back on the ground. My parents recently flew out for a visit and it was so good, so good having my mom get us on schedule and making me feel like I wasnt losing my mind. Reading this devotional is a lot like that feeling, the rope guiding me through this dark tunnel where Im not sure what lays ahead or if other people feel this way. The best part of this devotional, to me, is discovering, yes. Yes... other moms do feel this way. It is a day by day journey. There are hard times. Change is hard. Change is hard on the children. It is hard on the parents. It is hard on me-- I feel like it all is falling on my shoulders to guide each of them individually through this time of transition and that somehow, from somewhere, I need to have all the answers. It feels like our world has been turned upside down and that all these little eyes are looking at me for guidance and Im just as confused-- yet somehow in charge of the ship. I have to balance their physical needs with the clockwork schedule of our house and now this crazy range of emotional needs as well. How do I get it all done?

Ive struggled with this blog post because I havent known all the words I wanted to put in it, the feelings Ive wanted to convey. There are so many moving parts when you PCS, when you check into a new command, when you arrive in a new duty station, when your kids are going to a new school, when your children grow from preschool and kindergarten to 1st grade (so big!). And cold and flu season approaching, managing asthma in a new climate... another one of our children diagnosed with reactive airways, 2 children on Albuterol, doctors appointments, trips to the hospital, nights up worrying and monitoring breathing... my head spins thinking about all of the things that have gone on during this PCS. What finally motivated me to get this blog post in writing was our sons first day of 1st grade. I was so proud of myself for holding it together that morning, proud of our 4-year olds (who have been struggling with all the changes) for behaving like gentlemen dropping off their big brother, and proud of our 1st grader for being brave when he was so nervous. Most of all, I was proud of all 4 of our boys for having listening ears on as we wandered around the school hallways trying to figure out where to go and what we are doing and how we do school pick up. I left the school feeling like, "It is getting better. We are putting one foot in front of the other and moving in the right direction." We went to a coffee shop to celebrate the occasion; I bought our younger 3 boys each a chocolate milk and myself a pumpkin spice latte. We sat in the sunshine and chatted with other parents doing the same thing. The 4-year olds were right back at their busy behavior-- they have been keeping me busy, like gray hair busy. As I chatted, a lady at the coffee shop felt the need to interrupt my conversation with a fellow momma to let me know how I was parenting wrong. Can I even begin to tell you how defeated, deflated, and embarrassed I was at that moment? This happened in front of a couple that I had met just that day, fellow parents at our brand new school in our brand new duty station. I ended up bustling my boys out of there and walking them to the park so I could get fresh air and not cry at the coffee shop. I was so embarrassed. So embarrassed at how the couple must perceive me and that my children were such a nuisance that someone had to dive into the middle of my conversation to inform me of how she feels their behavior should be corrected. I looked out over the water by the park and wondered if we were making progress or if we were just sitting at square one.

That is when words from the devotional came back to me, Psalm 94:18-19, "When I said, My foot is slipping, your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy." Ive also had Coldplays "The Scientist" stuck in my head the past couple weeks (parenting: brought to you by the Bible and Coldplay... dont worry, I know my life is a mess): "Nobody said it was easy/ no one ever said it would be this hard/ Oh, take me back to the start."

It isnt easy. Im not sure when I will hit my stride and feel like, "Ive got this." Perhaps I will always feel like we are a hot mess and maybe the dull headache will come and go over the years as these children try my nerves at every turn. Perhaps God has me where he wants me-- calling out to him hour by hour and day by day. Ive said it before that one thing I love about life as a submariners wife is that I have to opportunity to see my faith come alive in every day life; I am there again right now.

For any strangers or friends who light-heartedly want to say, "You are a supermom." No, not a supermom. I am a mom that has no idea what shes doing. Im a mom that makes mistakes, big and small, every day. Im a mom with a heart full of love for friends and family and doing my best, just like every other mom out there. Im a mom that says sorry and who leaves coffee shops crying after people judge my parenting, perhaps harshly or perhaps for good reason (though that ladys timing could have been better). Im a mom that has super long evenings and super stressful mornings. Im a mom that ends honest tries at involving the kids in projects with a headache, wondering if it was worth the effort, but always trying again, hoping that this time will be more fun or a little easier. Im a mom that always stresses about if a bone is broken or if that is normal breathing or labored breathing or if we should call the doctor (how about we just call to be on the safe side...). Im a mom that packs lunches that are never eaten or are only picked at, that has a mini van covered in snacks and chicken nuggets. Im a mom that wears shirts I thought were clean, only to find them caked with oatmeal or whatever else life throws at me. Im a mom that swears, sometimes intentionally and sometimes on accident. Im a mom that doesnt read directions and then wonders why I cant get new batteries in a Lightning McQueen flashlight. Im a mom that calls my mom for every problem and my best friends for all the other problems that arise in between phone calls to my momma. Im a mom that loves each and every moment with my children and is also surprised and exhausted over how freaking hard each and every moment with my children can be.

I think all parents are super parents. Life is hard and we are all doing what we can. Treat each other with love. Because that mom that you chewed out at the coffee shop is having a super rough couple of weeks. She may look like she was gossiping with friends while her kids ran amok, but Im telling you, she wasnt. I went back to talk to that lady, but she wasnt there. I tried to picture what that glimpse in my life looked like to her and wanted to give her a bigger picture. In my 7 years of parenting, she is not the first person to offer "insight" as to how I should be parenting. This one just happened to fall at a tender, vulnerable moment in my life. I know that we will have many more comments made to us in this parenthood journey and I hope each time God reminds me of his Word and his promises just as I feel myself falling apart.

"When I said, My foot is slipping, your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy."
Psalm 94:18-19

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weight loss and gain during pregnancy | Potty training 2 5 year old twin boys

weight loss and gain during pregnancy

We potty trained our oldest when he was three years old-- hes now five years old-- and I am so ready to have our toddlers potty trained as well. However, my husband and I decided awhile ago that we wouldnt potty train our twin boys until they turned three. What led us to that decision?

When our first was a little guy, I dabbled in potty training. I would put him in underwear at 18-months and let him feel what it was like without a diaper. We brought him to the restroom with us and worked on his "potty vocabulary." We encouraged him to try to use the restroom. We asked him when his diaper was full if he was stinky... on and on. We never really pushed the potty training, but we highly encouraged it.

By the time he turned three, he had decided that potty training was not for him. Diapers were great. I would ask if he wanted to use the potty and he said, "No," every time. In fact, he never used the potty until we actually made him potty train. But, when he was just past three and we made him potty train, he exceeded the readiness list (read "Why not?") and we potty trained him days and nights all at once. Why not do it that way?

Our toddlers have thrown us a curve ball. While our oldest demonstrated zero interest in potty training, our toddlers are super excited about it. They are two and half years old right now and love talking about the potty. They love when their older brother uses the potty. They love when we are in the bathroom, either to use the restroom ourselves or to brush their teeth, take a bath, whatever it is that brings us into the glorious restroom. They have used the restroom multiple times. One of them even told us-- on his own initiative-- that he needed to use the restroom for a larger function than just tinkling. Our oldest would never have done that in a million years. In fact, when asked at the same age, he told me, "Ive got my diaper."

Which brings us to another big difference between our oldest and our two toddlers. While D was also a late talker, when he started talking, he really started talking. Our toddlers are dragging in their vocabulary. Right now they are playing and talking and I can make out about 20% of the words they are saying. When Im involved in what they are doing, not just eavesdropping, I can get that number to 50% or so. They are in the midst of this phase where they throw fits about everything. At the park the other day, one of our toddlers threw an epic meltdown when I told him to stop touching things in the parks public restroom (ew, ew, ew, ew).

There are days when the toddlers shake our resolve regarding putting off potty training. A week or so ago, one of our toddlers was obsessed with the restroom. He told us before he had to go potty, after he went potty, and wanted his diaper changed if it was the slightest bit wet. When we were changing a barely wet diaper for him to run and finish in the potty, we thought, "Should we?" We debated the pros and cons, if we wanted to or not. While we see many pros, the con-- their ability to communicate-- remains the same.

Which leads me back to how we potty trained our oldest. Yes, we made him potty train. He was over three years old and literally demonstrated every bullet on the readiness list (on every readiness list I read). When we kicked off the potty training, we handed the responsibility over to him. He became responsible for telling me the timer went off and it was time to try. He became responsible for going potty before we left the house. He became responsible for telling me he had to go potty when we were out and so we had enough time to get to a restroom. He became responsible when he had accidents after he was potty trained. I dont see the toddlers rising to this occasion. I watch them and wonder, but at the end of it, I dont see them taking this on. I see me pushing two toddlers to try. I see me cleaning up accidents for weeks and weeks with little progress. I see a year or more of over night diapers and just-in-case pull ups and carpet cleaner and extra clothes when we leave the house. That is not how I want to potty train.

And so we wait. We wait and let them build their potty vocabulary. We give them praise and a treat when they ask to use the potty. We change their diapers when they ask and make sure to clean up stinky diapers right away (not that anyone with a nose would be able to tolerate a toddler in a stinky diaper for more than 30 seconds anyways). We are viewing potty training in a different light. Potty training is a process and there is a lot that builds up to it. If we teach them that using the potty is the end goal and the words they need to know before switching to underwear all the time, they will comprehend what their role is much more than throwing it all at them at once. If we teach them to understand "no" and "wait," then they will have more control over themselves when we cant access a bathroom immediately or when we tell them accidents happen but not once you are potty trained.

This is not to say that I do not have a countdown until we get our youngest two kids out of diapers: 5 or 6 months. Now if only we could skip the whole "potty training process" and jump straight to three potty trained kids. :)

(Note: we did allow our oldest a period of leniency when he was working on potty training. It is hard to learn that it takes longer to get to a bathroom when you are at a grocery store than at home or that sometimes Momma doesnt know where a bathroom is and has to find it, like at a big mall. However, once he was potty trained, we told him he needs to make it to a bathroom. Again, we made exceptions after big changes that initiated backsliding, like when he was having problems with a bully at preschool and things such as that.)

Blogs I wrote on potty training our oldest:

"Try to see it my way"

"Why not?"

"Follow-up on potty training"

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is weight loss good during pregnancy | Dual parenting while on hold

is weight loss good during pregnancy

We moved to South Carolina at the end of August for my husband to go through the pipeline (again). The first class up date for power school, October, my hubby did not get picked up. This week they put out the list of who will be classing up this time and my husbands name was on the list.

This morning when he came home and told me he was classing up, I was very surprised by my disappointment. Weve never been "on hold" like we have been here. He has had to muster twice a week while on hold, but he was home before 8 am every morning. By the time I got out of bed, he had already fed the boys breakfast and was cleaning up the kitchen, even on muster days. That was a definite bonus. By mid-November, I think we started grating on each other though. I really wanted him to class up soon. I told my mom, "If he doesnt class up this time, we are going to kill each other!" We dont have a busy calendar here and so we were all spending a lot of time at home together-- all.day.long. Wonderful for a month or so, but it is now December and we have been doing this since he graduated college in August (granted we did move from North Carolina to South Carolina during that time and he completed indoc, but, still, mostly just spent here at home). It is amazing how irritating little things can become when you spend all day, every day with someone.

Then we went on mini-vacation during Thanksgiving weekend. We spent four days at the beach with no plans, just hanging out as a family, away from our house and the day to day routine. We had so much fun. It was so refreshing coming home after that. And we talked about things we could do if he didnt class up this time... And I started thinking, "Oh, it would be nice if we could do this and that..."

So this morning I realized how much things will change around here. He fed the boys, as usual, this morning. While I got ready, he got the boys ready. While I was out of the house with the boys, he cleaned up the house and did the dishes. It really struck me just how much of a help he has been around here and how petty and silly the little things are. He would get irritated with me taking so long to get ready-- reading and talking on the phone to my sister while getting ready. I would get irritated with him for filling up the hamper after making a trip into his closet or not having the boys clean up their messes as they went. Today, that stuff all seemed silly. He gladly played with the boys while I chatted with my sister this morning, telling me to enjoy my last couple leisurely mornings. (Can I even emphasize how nice it is to have two parents home in the morning???) And when we got home, I noticed all the stuff he did do instead of all the stuff he didnt do and how much I appreciate him doing those things.

As for my feelings now that it has sunk in that hes classing up, Im fine with it. We came here for him to go through the pipeline and now hes started. Im surprised at how stressful it was to find out when he was classing up. For the October class he was told yes and no all the way up to the day school started. The next classes will probably be more of a roller coaster, SOBC and prototype. SOBC is unaccompanied in Connecticut. Prototype is either here or in upstate New York. I think Ill have a Navy wife heart attack if they tell him, "Oh yeah, you are classing up next week for prototype... in upstate New York." But I wont will do my best not to stress out about that until power school is over.

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weight loss journey after pregnancy | 47 YEAR OLD NATURAL CONCEPTION AND PREGNANCY

weight loss journey after pregnancy

Woman Conceives Naturally at 47

Heres another one!
 Heres another story of a woman who got pregnant by surprise at the age of 47.  So all you "youngsters" in your early 40s, it certainly happens!  Read more:

SEE ALSO: 49 AND PREGNANT (getpregnantover40.com)

From the article:

Becoming pregnant at age 47 wasnt a worry for Robin Brussel. "I enjoyed every minute of being pregnant," she said.
Still, it was a surprise. "I thought I was going through pre-menopause," she said. "It just happened."
Brussel, now 48, gave birth in December to a 6-pound, 10-ounce boy named Noah she carried for 39 weeks. He was a cesarean birth, as were her four older children, ages 18 to 28. Noah was the first child born to her and her husband, Mark Brussel, 56. Theyve been married nearly four years.
 from St. Louis Today

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baby weight loss after birth nhs | 2 Year Anniversary

baby weight loss after birth nhs

Two years ago today, surrounded by towering trees and friends, I started a life with THE most amazing, loyal, romantic, sweet and handsome man alive. We celebrated our anniversary this year with a couples massage that was AMAZING and then a nice, fancy dinner. We finished the night with frozen yogurt and a relaxing stroll around Charlotte, while we reminisced about our love story and our dreams for the future. It felt SO wonderful to be able to be my crazy self, acting silly and twirling around on fountain ledges, trying to catch Samuels eye in that flirty way. Oh how I enjoyed every moment of our anniversary celebration date! (Last year, I felt like I was a walking piece of tenderized meat, still recovering from Káels birth.) What a difference a year makes!

I love you Samuel Gatlyn, you are my dream love.

Thank SO much loves for voting for us! :)

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baby losing weight with breastfeeding | Baking with twin 4 year olds

baby losing weight with breastfeeding

For our boys birthdays, I love baking them a cake... or ordering a cake from Coldstone. Our 4-year olds lucked out and each got a Coldstone cake this year. Our baby lucked out since we were living in the Navy Lodge during a military move (a friend actually baked him a cake though, which was super sweet). Our oldest on the other hand managed to have his birthday fall right in that rush of "so glad we are FINALLY in our OWN house with our OWN things" and there was no way in Hades I wasnt going to bake his cake.

On top of that, our other 3 wanted to help (the baby did not actually say he wanted to help, but he is a new walker and in that "requires constant supervision" phase).

Since our 4-year olds wanted to actually make the cake, I measured out all the ingredients beforehand. This made it much easier when actually mixing because their attention spans fall in the category of, "Oh! Look! Shiny!" We also had a lot of discussion over taking turns... they both seemed to feel that it was always their turn and never their brothers turn, "You let me put that in. Not that guy. That guy cant help anymore." "That guy" being the twin brother.

Once everything was measured and hands were washed, it was time to bite the bullet and make the cake.

I decided it would be easiest to go back and forth between pouring in ingredients. One of our 4-year olds started by pouring in the flour...

...and then the other poured in the rest of the dry ingredients. Do you see how the other supervises his brother so closely? In the pictures it looks like he is just interested in the cake making, but they were actually making sure the other only did one thing because it my turn now.

I let them both crack one egg each (a total of 4 went in the cake). I had them crack their eggs into a large measuring bowl so I could either discard the egg if it was completely destroyed or pick out any stray egg shells. Much to my surprise, neither preschooler exploded an egg on the counter and there were no egg shells in either bowl! They were so proud of themselves. To show them how to crack an egg, I cracked one egg into a measuring bowl myself. The tutorial was useful because when I initially handed them an egg, one of our 4-year olds asked me if you just squeeze the egg really hard to crack it.

Luckily only one of our 4-year olds wanted to turn on the mixer. The other thought it was a scary robot and did not want to start it up each time after adding the eggs.

I was going to let each of the preschoolers smooth out the cakes that I poured into the pans. However, one of them was only interested in the beater, so that left the job to this guy who took the duty quite seriously.

He took the job quite seriously until he realized there was cake batter on that spatula. Then he decided the cake was smooth enough.

I intended on having them help make the frosting for the cake, but by the time the cake cooled so had their interest in baking. I actually forgot to take a picture of the cake once it was finished (I was making dinner, finishing the cake, and dealing with a 1-year old who had been woken up from nap far too early by 4-year olds fighting over costumes). I did snap a picture on my Galaxy S5:

He was very pleased with his Batman birthday cake and our 4-year olds were so proud that they had made the whole cake "by themselves." In fact, they were so pleased with themselves that they asked where my cake was. They actually got mad at me and said that I promised to make a cake today and they wanted to eat my cake... I pointed out we did make a cake, to which they said, "No, we made that cake. We want your cake too." Im not sure if they actually thought they were making a cake + I was making a cake = giving them 2 cakes to eat today for their brothers birthday, or if they were just testing to see if they could get two cakes out of the days celebrations.

Baking with children is not always easy. I love having our boys help me in the kitchen though. I find that prepping the ingredients when cooking with our 4-year olds really helps, cutting down on the time that they have to wait in between "helping." I also like having ingredients separated in case of contamination (such as, not sticking their hands in my Tupperware container of sugar). Cooking with our (now) 7-year old is different; he enjoys prepping a lot of the ingredients himself, such as cutting vegetables, measuring ingredients, and operating small kitchen appliances. The biggest key to successfully cooking with children is wine a good attitude. Spills happen. Eggs explode when being cracked. Flour gets dumped on the floor. Little fingers find their way to the sugar bowl. Having a safe workspace is also key. This doesnt have to be a big kitchen counter, but does need to be a sturdy stool they can firmly stand on or a bar stool they can safely sit on. This helps make the whole process just slightly smoother.

What are your tips for baking with little ones?

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vomiting during pregnancy weight loss | Baby 5 is a GIRL!

vomiting during pregnancy weight loss

I always dreamed about having a daughter. After two miscarriages (one of them being a molar pregnancy), 4 boys (including a set of identical twin boys), and a rough start to our 6th pregnancy, I felt that our chances of having a girl were pretty low. Ive heard throughout this pregnancy:

"Oh, my old neighbor growing up had seven boys! Then they had their girl."
"My moms best friend has five girls."
"Our cousin is pregnant with her fourth boy. They are stopping after this one! No more boys for them!"

And then myself. I have two friends with four boys: one just had her 5th and it was a girl, the other just had her 5th and it was a boy. Ahh!

So I scheduled my 20 week anatomy scan at my last OB appointment. The earliest they could get me in was 4 weeks away, when I would be 22+ weeks. I really thought I could wait that long. It would be torture, but I figured I just needed to hunker down and wait. I called my mom and told her to mark her calendar for the end of February when I would be getting the scan. She called me back and said, "Hey! I was on Google and found some places for you to go get a gender ultrasound done..." I was instantly sold and called immediately to get an appointment; they could see me the following week when I was 19 weeks.

I decided to surprise my husband. I made the appointment for while he was at work. I called my girlfriend and asked if she would go with me to help keep the gender a secret from me as well. Then I ran a few errands. I went to a baby boutique and put a boy outfit and girl outfit on hold. I told them my girlfriend would be coming in to pick up the appropriate genders outfit after my scan. Then I wrote on a notecard, "Congratulations! Its a ________!" I put the notecard in an envelope and set out to get my scan as soon as my husband left for work.

What a surprise this all was! My girlfriend did AMAZING. She never once let slip what the gender was. I have no idea how she kept that secret in. We got lunch together after the scan and while I babbled she kept her lips sealed, no slips of the tongue, no knowing glances, nothing. She told me later that she was worried she was smiling too much, but I never noticed anything. I think she did a fabulous job of keeping the secret and I was very caught up in the excitement of all of it.

After lunch, we drove by the baby boutique. She ran in and picked up the girl outfit. They triple wrapped the adorable set. My girlfriend told me she instructed them to do so, just in case I was tempted to peek before my husband came home from work. The put pink and blue tissue paper peeking out of the top of the bag. When she came to the car holding the package, my heart skipped a beat. I had tried preparing myself to wait for 4 weeks before the anatomy scan, but the couple hours before my husband came home from work now that we were so close to finding out were going to be impossible! When I dropped my girlfriend off at home she made me promise not to open the package. I reassured her I wouldnt, but, man, that package was quite tempting. I tucked it in a corner on the kitchen counter to keep it out of sight until my husband and I could open it together.

Thankfully I did not have long to wait. I immediately had to leave to pick our first grader up from school. While I was doing that, my husband called to say that he was on his way home for work-- early! Yay! I was ecstatic. I told the boys over and over again, "Hes on his way home! When he gets home we get to find out if you are having a brother or a sister!" The boys were caught up in the excitement of all of it. Our 4-year olds kept saying they hope we have a sister to name "Batman Girl." Our oldest insisted he wanted a brother. One of our 4-year olds asked if he would name the baby "Batman" if it was a boy. I thought of how I would surprise my husband when he came home. Im not very good at keeping secrets, so this was big for me. I wanted to play the whole thing out and act somewhat casual when he came inside, saying something like, "Oh, whats this? Maybe we should open it up together..." Instead, the moment his Jeep pulled in the driveway, our boys sprinted over yelling, "Dad! Mom found out what the baby is today! The baby in her tummy! It is a boy or a girl! Come inside and see!" My husband was still sitting in his vehicle looking very confused. He looks at me quizzically, "You found out today on your own? I didnt know you had anything scheduled." I couldnt help but laugh. I told him, "No, no, no. I went somewhere to have it done, but I didnt find out. We will find out all together when you come inside." It seems our boys have my ability to keep a secret.

He dutifully came inside and set his things down. Our boys swarmed him with the package and the envelope. We all went to the family room and quickly opened it up. They all leaned over his shoulder as he opened up the envelope. I took a video of him pulling the card out and holding it open for our first grader to read. Our oldest read, "Its a.... GIRL!" and that is when I stop filming. I asked my husband, "What? Let me see! Is it really?" He hands me the card and the ultrasound pictures tumble out. Two of the pictures are marked saying, "Girl," and the card clearly says, "Congratulations! Its a GIRL!" I started bawling. My husband then opens the package and hands the pink sleep and play with the delicate pink flowers and an adorable crotchet crown to me. I hold the little items and cry. He crouched down next to me and puts his arms around me, tears in his eyes as well, "We are having a girl! 4 amazing boys and a little girl!" I hugged all our boys and they danced around, "A girl! A sister!"

After that came phone calls and pictures and posts and text messages and hugging and more crying. One of my girlfriends drove over that night with an adorable red dress coat and a sweet play set for our baby girl. I opened the door and she had a big box in one hand a huge bouquet of pink balloons in the other.

It was all so exciting. It ended up being a great surprise. I loved finding out together as a family at home. I was a little worried my husband would be a little caught off guard by my early surprise-- when we werent expecting to go in for weeks-- but he was as excited about it all as I was. I dont know how many times we hugged each other that day (or since then... it is still a big shock!).

The other day a gal asked how many boys we have. I told her we have four boys. She nods to my round stomach and says, "Well, we know what that means! My girlfriend has five boys." I smiled and said, "This one is a girl!" I dont know when the novelty of having a girl will wear off. I think Im going to start crossing off the days until this summer when I can finally hold our last baby-- our daughter-- in my arms!

The other great part about knowing now that we are having a daughter is that I can finally do some girl baby shopping! Omigoodness... it is so much fun!

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baby losing weight when teething | Navy family united we stand

baby losing weight when teething

One of the things I hear about all the time is the idea of a "Navy family," not as in my blog title, Kimbers Navy Family, which refers to our nuclear family, but a temporary family comprised of military members and their families supporting each other. People post pictures about how they love their Navy family, "Dont know what I would do without these girls! Love my Navy family!" Or make comments about how their Navy family helped get them through certain times in their life. I myself talk often about our Navy family. The past couple weeks, the concept of a Navy family has materialized once again in real and practical ways in my life. While we were away from the Navy community during my husbands years at college, I almost forgot about how present a Navy family is and just how much help our Navy family offers. Our Navy family truly becomes far more than just people we meet, but family, people that step into our lives and lift us up, people that bring light to times where you feel alone and lost. People that years after they entered into your life, you remember and cherish. Who is this Navy family?

1. The people that never leave.

While we were still newlyweds, I had our first miscarriage. It was a very hard time. I was far away from my friends and family at a duty station where I hardly knew anyone. The few people I knew drifted out of my life when it happened; I dont think they knew what to do or say and so they avoided me. I was alone and heartbroken. And then these two women burst into my life, one of whom I had met a few weeks before and another I had only had polite conversations with in passing-- a JOs wife and our chiefs wife. Our chiefs wife headed up the Sunshine Committee with our FRG; she coordinated meals for families that needed them and baby gifts for new babies-- things of that nature. When I had my miscarriage, she started bringing us meals, then she started driving me to my doctors appointments. From there, she became my go-to person for all things Navy related. When our boat changed homeports, she came with me to the housing office and walked me through the check-in process since the boat was gone, I had no clue what I was doing, and I was sitting there with a baby and a power of attorney. Her and her husband have guided me and my husband along in our marriage, to raise a Navy family with emphasis on family. She has listened to me, counseled me, and loved me like a sister. Amazingly, we are now stationed near each other again. All these years later and she is still the person I call when I dont know what to do raising our boys or I need prayer or someone who will listen, cry with me, laugh with me, or just be there for me. I pray constantly to be the type of friend she has been to me and to love as openly and beautifully as she does. She is the person that embraces the good and bad in life and allows God to work through her to turn it into a beautiful masterpiece (while I am in the corner worrying, complaining, or crying). I love her and her family with all my heart. If nothing but this family ever comes of my husbands Navy career, we will have been blessed immeasurably.

The JOs wife has been another one of those friends. Her and I hit it off at a "mandatory fun" event put on by the boat. We are both from California. We both enjoy literature. At the time, our due dates were just days off from each other. When I had my miscarriage, our slow building friendship was thrown into the fire where something pure and beautiful emerged. I didnt expect anything from her-- a person I just met-- but she called me and said, "Listen. I really enjoy this friendship with you. I understand if you need space or time or if my pregnancy is painful for you right now. I want to support you. Please let me know what I can do and I am open to it. If you dont want to discuss my pregnancy, I am happy to do that." Since the other people I knew backed out of my life, her straight forward and honest approach was reassuring. Our friendship has grown like that over the years, strong and firm, honest, true, and loyal. We can talk about anything and everything and love the heart and soul of each other. We havent lived near each other in awhile, but I think about her and her sweet family every day. We use social media and Skype to keep in touch with each other. When we get on the phone, we pick up right where we left off, laughing and letting our children say hello. I will be honest-- I hope that one of our sons marries her daughter-- but even if we do not become family in the legal sense, they will always be part of my chosen family.

2. The people that do not stay.

A strange phenomenon that happens with your Navy family is people you do not know helping you in deep or personal situations, some of whom you never get to know better past that point, but who you would equally support if the tables were turned. I have had neighbors bring me meals when I had sick children and my husband wasnt home. Neighbors come over and insist on watching my children so I could go to the ER or support a sick relative. I have had people drop off groceries, run errands, give support, offer much needed words of encouragement or an ear at moments where I felt alone, alone, alone. I have had neighbors add me to their family meals, dropping off food for me regularly because they know my husband has strange hours. I have had wine nights that lasted well into the wee hours of the night with women I do not know, but who I sat and talked with for hours because we both needed a friend. I have had people offer to pick up my mail, walk my dog, watch my children, or do any small errand for me because they knew I needed help-- and these werent just offers, but people truly saying, "Let me help you. What can I do now? Tonight?" These are the people that I forever feel grateful for, these fleeting angels in my life. For one reason or another, a deeper friendship doesnt grow-- our schedules, the distance between each others houses, or someone PCSing right at the start of a budding friendship-- but they are people who know what you are going through and who know how to help, who want to help, and who roll up their sleeves to lend a hand to a fellow Navy family simply because they are looking after their own.

When I think of this group of people, I get the warm feeling I had sitting on someones back porch-- I dont even know who-- drinking wine out of a plastic cup and chatting about books. There was a Scentsy lamp on the patio furniture and everyone was talking, laughing, fireflies dancing over the playground. I had gone for an evening walk with our dog and ended up crashing someones going away get-together. I felt accepted, part of a larger group of people, and content. We all lived vastly different lives yet we were the same-- all married to sailors and all in this together.

3. The people you just met.

Often times, with Navy life, we are forced to ask brand new friends for help. Many of the Navy families I know are fiercely independent (or maybe just stubborn and slightly introverted). We build ourselves a little fortress, barricading ourselves inside with a small support network of carefully chosen friends and family, power of attorneys, and the Internet, hoping we can find our own answers or hunker down until the hardships are over. We can ask in chat rooms or text friends from past duty stations, but when it comes to asking for physical help-- GASP! Our insides turn to mush and our legs become shaky. We thank people excessively for performing the smallest tasks and send over meals and baked goods for weeks afterwards, "Just wanted to say thanks!" I recently had to text a gal I met days before to ask if she would walk over and sit at our house while our 3 older boys slept so I could take the baby to the hospital for his bronchiolitis. The baby was having a hard time breathing and our older 3 were asleep and I felt horrible asking. I was two steps away from loading everyone up into the van when I thought, "Im just going to do it... Im just going to text her." I did. I stared at the phone with a knot in my stomach, guilt washing over me, when she texted me back moments later, "Of course! No problem. Be right over." Why is it so hard? I dont know. But frequently moving-- between you moving or your friends moving-- means that no matter how you try to feather your nest, there are those moments that you need to ask for help. People I barely know have asked me for help-- from using my washer and dryer to baby-sitting to rides-- and Im always happy to give it. The Navy family extends to these brand new friends we make, people who you click with instantly, like the JOs wife when I had my first miscarriage, who you know will become a great friend, but arent yet. One of the big differences about budding friendships in the Navy is that often these friendships are started during times of great stress and turmoil, periods of your life where you do not feel like yourself, where you are asking for help all the time, where you are emotionally exhausted or spent and do not feel you are presenting your true self. Your Navy family can see past that. They see you. They have walked that road before and know that moving with children is hard. They have had the move where everything is broken and everyone gets sick the week your household goods are delivered. They know what it is like when your vehicle arrives at your new duty station a month later than expected or you are sitting on the housing wait list for months on end. These brand new friends think nothing of having you over for dinner, of moving your laundry to the dryer while you nap on the couch, of baby-sitting in the middle of the night. They are there through the storm and there when the dust settles. Ive found often with these friendships that these are the friends who are in it for the long haul, that will be lifelong friends (read, "Saying good-bye").

One thing that makes me laugh about this category of friend is that sometimes huge basic gaps are missing in these friendships. These gals are throwing my cloth diapers in the washer for me, Im scrubbing their kitchen, were wiping each others tears, were at each others houses past midnight, theyre driving my vehicles and picking up prescriptions at the pharmacy for each others children, but if we mention our husbands names we have to remind each other, "Yeah, that is my husbands name." These gaps definitely fill in later, but it is always funny to discover what basic things we do not yet know about each other when we feel like weve walked through fire together... in our 2 week friendship that already feels like years.

Do you have a Navy family? How have they helped you?

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baby losing weight on solids | Gro Clock Review

baby losing weight on solids

I am always on the look out for little bits of kit that make life with a toddler that bit easier.  From a foldaway potty to a foldaway pushchair, I am on it.  So when I saw a Gro-Clock in my local Boots store, which promises to help with your childs sleep, I thought Id give it a go and see if it had any effect on my three year old.

Whilst my daughter has never been a particularly bad sleeper, over the last few months she has been waking up earlier and earlier. 6am, I can just about cope with.  But 5.30am? That to me is technically still night-time.  

The premise of the Gro-Clock is that young children cannot yet tell the time, so the clock consists of a sun and stars electric face that you program so your child knows when it is time to wake up and get out of bed.  

You program a bedtime, say, 7pm, and a big star appears on the clock surrounded by 12 other stars.  You then set the clock to the time you want your child to wake up, say midday, only joking, say 7am, and then as the night progresses the stars slowly disappear and a sun appears at 7am. This teaches your child that if they wake in the night or early morning, they can check their clock and know if it is time to get up.

Now, to be completely honest, this is not going to change your early riser or poor sleeper into a 12 hour sleeper overnight.  This is not a miracle product.  But, this product is great for introducing the concept of night and day and when to actually get up.  The clock comes with a little story that you read to your child so they understand a bit more about the clock and how it works. 

When we first got the clock, for the first week my daughter stayed in bed once or twice until 7am and the rest of the mornings she just ran into our bedroom at 6am shouting she hadnt waited for the sun (sigh).  But, I have persisted, and now for most mornings, she will wait until she sees the sun appear to come into our bedroom. 

I never chastise her for getting up too early before the sun, but, if she manages to go back to sleep until the sun appears, she gets lots of praise and  we make a pretty big deal of it that she is such a big and clever girl for looking at her clock. 

The clock has some lovely extras, such as the ability to have the clock having a digital time displayed for older children, and you can also adjust the brightness of the clock, from none at all to a bright night-light. 

I dont think I could be without our Gro-Clock now and I would highly recommend it for toddlers. The clock has really come into its own with the lighter mornings. Yes, my daughter does still get up way too early some mornings, but then the mornings she waits until 7am? Well they are just amazing! 

Thanks for reading, 

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weight loss during early pregnancy without morning sickness | Homeschooling 5 year old preschool

weight loss during early pregnancy without morning sickness

The year is not over yet, but I have loved homeschooling 5-year old preschool. Yesterday I worked on our curriculum for kindergarten and Im even more excited for next year. We kept D back a year (a fellow homeschooling mother of boys calls this "red shirting" and not keeping them back-- love it!). Our sons birthday is at the end of the summer so he would either be youngest or oldest kid in his class. We decided he could use another year before we started him in kindergarten. Next year we will start our first "real" year of homeschooling: kindergarten.

For us, the emphasis for preschool has been on character and community. Weve been focusing on waiting your turn and taking turns, not interrupting, helping others, thinking of others before yourself, listening and following instructions, and following the rules even without direct supervision. Most of this can be taught in everyday life, especially since he has two younger brothers. We apply these lessons as he helps cook, clean, and run errands. When there is an aspect we feel needs special attention, we take the time to teach that lesson, such as following instructions while cooking and patiently waiting for the job he has to do (not rushing through it and making mistakes).

Of course we also do school. Ive been following Ruth Beechicks method for reading and writing, The Three Rs. We do some sort of writing every day. Usually it is informal, but a couple times a week I have him copy a complete sentence. Weve been reading chapters of Who Was Martin Luther King Jr? by Bonnie Bader. After we read a chapter, I have him copy a sentence down from that chapter, a sentence of my choosing that I feel summarizes that chapter or teaches something important about Martin Luther King Jr. Often he copies words in his notebook that have something to do with that days theme or activities, like when we were working on colors with his toddler brothers, he wrote down things that were red (strawberries, apples, Clifford). Sometimes the only writing he does that day is on a treasure map he drew or a card for a friend or family member he made. We do a lot of reading as a family anyways, Look and Find books, childrens books, books on a topic that interests him. One of their favorite books is Birds of North Carolina by Tim Ohr. We bought it when we lived in North Carolina and had lots of trees and birds in our backyard. There we would sit in our sunroom and name the birds we saw. This book was a Costco find that I bought on a whim (need to get one for South Carolina now that weve moved!). We also have a large coffee table book on John Deere tractors that they love. It gives the history of John Deer and facts on each model; we read that book a lot. That book was a used book store find that cost hardly anything. Now that we are working on reading, Ive scoured the used book stores childrens section for easy readers (Curious George, Berenstain Bears, Clifford, etc). We usually work together on reading during his brothers naptime when we have uninterrupted time together. I love that time, curled up on the couch together working on reading a book (and then I love when we are done for the time being and not spending 10 minutes on one word-- haha!).

Math hasnt been difficult for us to incorporate in our homeschool. I actually bought Saxon Math K: An Incremental Development (Home Study Teachers Edition). I bought this at a homeschool consignment store in North Carolina-- best place ever! I did not buy the meeting book or the kit, which includes all the materials needed for the curriculum. I bought the materials on Amazon, like the linking cubes and such. I bought some of them before we started and some of them after we started when I realized I actually needed for the lessons. I also did not follow this book to a T. I mostly used it as a guidebook. D really likes math and it comes naturally to him. We tend to do a lot of math with him in everyday life, not just with counting bears, but with word problems and having him help solve things. For instance, "If Mommy and your brothers drive in the van and Daddy and you ride in the Jeep, how many people are in the van? How many in the Jeep? How many all together?" "I made 10 cookies and there are 3 boys to eat the cookies. How many cookies does everyone get? How many cookies are leftover?" "How many drinks do I need to buy at Chick-Fil-A so we all get a drink? If we want a milkshake after we drink our lemonades, how many drinks will I buy total?" I used the Saxon Math Teachers Edition much more as an inspiration for a more structured lesson if I need it. I do not use the calendar plan laid out in it; we have a hanging pocket calendar we use instead. We also play math guided games: Chutes and Ladders, ThinkFun Math Dice Jr, Sorry. He seriously loves math and loves when we do anything that has even the slightest mathematical slant. A favorite game of his? Measuring things in the house with a tape measure. I make it a math game. "If the chair is 20 inches across, how many inches across would it be if there were 2 more inches? How about 2 less inches?" I really did like the Saxon Math book; so much so that I bought the Level 1 Home Study Teachers Edition to use his kindergarten year-- again, just the teachers edition, not the complete kit.

There are other subjects that we do regularly. I keep track of everything in the Homeschoolers Journal. We try to remember to do our calendar everyday and we usually do. Before I got the pocket calendar, we crossed off days on a wall calendar. My neighbor and I have big plans to make an adorable felt calendar! Im very excited about that. Everyday at breakfast we read from the One Year Childrens Bible. The boys love their Bible story and pull it down while I get their breakfast plates on the table. I like how short the stories are so I can actually read to both our preschooler and our toddlers without losing their interest. We also do a Bible verse with our preschooler. I do not have him learn a verse a week, just more on his pace. He must learn it word for word, but when hes ready to learn the next part, I teach it to him. He just learned Isaiah 9:6 and now we are working on John 3:16. We also talk a lot about the Navy, since their dad is a submariner. The toddlers are very interested in submarines, ships, and boats. Our preschooler is very interested in how the submarine works. They all love that there is a submarine in Despicable Me 2.

And part of our homeschooling plan is teaching that everyone needs to help out around the house. He feeds the dog every morning and changes the dogs water. They all bring their dishes to the kitchen sink or kitchen counter (depending on the dish-- I bet they could break their Corelle bowls chucking them in the sink). They have to pick up shared living spaces throughout the day, when they change activities. I do not require either the toddlers or our preschooler to move all the toys from the family room to where it necessarily goes in the playroom, unless Im having our preschooler pick up toys that he got out and a mess he made (like his puzzles or his craft stuff). That is too much of a task for the toddlers to grasp (keep picking up toys in the family room and put them away where they go-- they get distracted). After they bring the toys to the playroom, I sit in there and help put them away or direct where they go. They all help with housecleaning, tidying shared spaces, dusting, sweeping, wiping down counters. This Rubbermaid Dual Action Microfiber Flip Mop has made it so easy for our preschooler to help with the floors. The toddlers dust with dusting cloths and they help clean either with paper towels or rags sprayed with vinegar water. They all help fold laundry. Surprisingly, they actually can all help, not the kind of help children often give that is in no way helpful. The toddlers can fold rags, towels, and pillow cases quite well. Their shirts and things are often folded by them in interesting and unique ways, but when they get a bee in their bonnet to fold a load of laundry, who am I to stop them? Our preschooler can fold just about anything; he gets frustrated when I drop a big load of laundry in front of him and will hum and haw. Once he gets going he is fine. The smaller loads he handles with no complaint. I really, really, really make an effort not to complain about house chores in front of them. They do, after all, have to get done one way or another, so it might as well be cheerfully. I have Philippians 2:14 hanging in their playroom, "Do everything without grumbling or arguing."

As for socializing... We do lots of playdates and activities, some structured (held a paper airplane contest), some not (park picnics or childrens museum trips). There are neighborhood kids to play with at home and homeschooling families that weve really been connecting with since weve moved here. And we are looking into our homeschooling co-op options for next year, joining one of those in the next couple weeks. Hes part of organized sports and, most recently, a preschool piano class. The best thing about homeschooling preschool is that our schedule is open and we are available for playdates and get-togethers that are held during the day. Ive been really excited looking at the co-op options for next year and the homeschool families weve connected with. The other thing Im really excited about is that my hubbys schedule is going to a little crazy next year and homeschooling is going to give us the flexibility to spend as much time as possible with him! I know we havent started the kindergarten year yet or had baby #4 yet, but I loved homeschooling preschool this year and I think kindergarten is going to be even more fun. :)

Picture taken by A McTaggart

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