baby losing weight in hospital | Not my favorite duty station

baby losing weight in hospital

Picture taken by April McTaggart

Every time we move, I end up missing our last duty station. I really miss our last duty station right now. I keep thinking, "This is not my favorite place to live." Before we moved, everyone kept telling me how awesome it is in South Carolina and how much I will love it here. Now that we are here, I feel like, "Well, we cant do this or that with two two-year olds..." or "In North Carolina, I took all three boys all over the place..."

I think it is totally natural to feel this way. However, I have to keep it in check!

I hated our first duty station. I moved from California to New Hampshire, right on the Maine border, in January. By myself. My husbands submarine was a month late. And I didnt have his boat email address at the time or any idea what an FRG or ombudsman was. I was alone and it was cold. There was an ice storm and our Jeep was encased in literally an inch of ice. There was so much snow and my winter shoes consisted of Converse and stiletto leather boots from Nine West. I wasnt prepared. By the time we moved, I was so over the Noreasters and decked out in Columbia and Ugg Boots. Being from Northern California, I didnt think the summers were "hot," as my local neighbors kept telling me they would be. I was over all of it and ready to get the heck out of there and on our way to Hawaii.

When we arrived in Hawaii, I realized I missed this great coffee shop in New Hampshire. And that the hospital I gave birth to our first son in was really, really nice. And that I loved my midwife. I missed walking along the New Hampshire coast. I missed a lot of really delicious local restaurants. Even more so, I realized I had a really bad attitude the entire time we lived in New Hampshire. I didnt like it there and I didnt want to like it there. Things that were so annoying there at the time were funny after we moved. For instance, our apartment complex plowed the parking lots really early in the morning. This meant that by the time I was ready to leave, there would be a snow drift up to the back of our Jeeps rear window that had somehow iced over. My pregnant self would have to knock on our next door neighbors door to again ask to borrow their snow shovel ("When are you going to buy one of these, dearie?" "I dont know...") to chip the Jeep out so I could drive to my OB appointment. I hated doing that at the time, but it makes me laugh now thinking about it.

I vowed that I wouldnt be such a spoil sport at our next duty stations. They dont have to be my favorite places to live and maybe I wouldnt ever want to live there in "real life," you know, not sent-here-by-the-military life. I loved living in Hawaii, but that was easy. My family used to vacation there and I love the beach. I loved the food. I loved our house and where it was located. I loved my neighbors. I had a harder time when we first moved to North Carolina. I had a hard time making friends. We lived way out in the country when we first moved there and everything was a bit of a drive; we eventually outgrew our living arrangements and felt very cramped at home (read "Across town move"). Then we moved to a house with a great yard, a great playroom, and a great location. We thrived. We loved it there. We loved the grocery stores, how many things there were to do with the kids, how inexpensive everything was. We loved the food. We loved the friends we made and the playdates we had; I loved the twin group and their awesome twice yearly consignment sale. We talk about how we want to go back after my husband retires.

Then we moved to South Carolina. We had a rocky start here, a rough time unpacking. Perhaps that was the problem. But then we settled in and there are so many things that I keep comparing to North Carolina. The grocery store situation here is awful. Everything is a drive, like twenty or thirty minutes. I was nervous about moving our asthmatic toddler and the flu shot situation here really put a bad taste in my mouth (read "2013 flu shots"). There seems to be a lot of areas around here that you should avoid at night (not that we go out a lot at night, but we do like to go get ice cream after dinner). I miss our baby-sitters in North Carolina; we still dont have a regular baby-sitter here and Im nervous leaving our asthmatic toddler with someone new (read "0-2 years old: twin must-haves").

When we moved here, people who had been stationed here before gave us a list of areas that we should move to. We debated for awhile what we wanted to do. Do we want to live out in town near things to do with our kids? Or do we want to live near my husbands work? Since we are living in South Carolina for an undetermined amount of time-- could be six months, could be two years-- we decided that living near my husbands work was the priority (read "STA-21 officers program"). That has been the silver lining. He still hasnt classed up yet, but when he does go in for various jobs, he comes home at lunch, or pops in before his next brief. When he does start school, hell be able to come home for dinner or to help put the kids to bed. I really like that. We have both agreed that if we were ever stationed here for a significant amount of time that we would want to choose a different area to live. For now, being here for my husband to go to through school and with such a young family, I do think we made the right the decision. (It doesnt hurt that we absolutely love our house and our neighborhood!)

So Im going to hang in there. Maybe Im just really missing our old friends and our old list of activities. I really liked the childrens museum in North Carolina and the boys loved going there each week; our oldest loved the camps we sent him to there. Maybe Im missing our grocery stores (we lived near a lot of awesome grocery stores). Maybe Im still settling in here. Whatever it is, Im going to give it some time and look for the best here. I dont want to say that I only have to make it work for two years, maximum, but it is true. We only have a little time here and I want to enjoy it to the fullest. Im going to find activities for our kids and Im going to make friends with my neighbors. Im going to put my best foot forward and, when we move again, Ill have no regrets.

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fetal weight loss during pregnancy | Its just another day

fetal weight loss during pregnancy

 

What a day.

What. A. Day.

So this morning the toddlers came in my room yelling, "Hot chocolate! Hot chocolate!" We have been having a cup of hot chocolate every morning since we decorated for Christmas, so that they wanted a hhot chocolate wasnt a problem. The timing of their wish most certainly was.

I had them wait. I got out of bed. I came to the kitchen for them to get into a fight over who gets which spoon. I warmed up breakfast. {Mommy tip: make huge batches of breakfast and heat it up over the next couple days. This week we had pancakes and oatmeal. This has made our mornings much smoother!} One of our toddlers had a stinky diaper that he did not want changed. He made it very clear he wanted to remain in his stinky diaper-- though no one wanted to be near him. In fact, he had to go to his room to calm down before I changed that diaper. When he finally emerged, his brothers were yelling, "HOT CHOCOLATE!" I told them if they keep yelling at me, there would be no hot chocolate. That we must be patient. (There was much confusion over the definition of this word, patient: perhaps it is an old wooden ship used during the Civil War era? No...) I changed the diaper. He joined his brothers at the breakfast table.

I finished making their breakfast plates. They continued dropping hints about hot chocolate. I continued telling them to wait. I glared at the Keurig to hurry up and heat up the water-- must have coffee now! Finally it all came together. Finally I made myself a plate. I sat down with my cup of coffee and my small plate of pancakes (you know, whatever was left) and started eating. Immediately, toddlers start exclaiming, "Sticky! All done! EW! STICKY!" I gave them baby wipes to clean their hands. They put their baby wipes in their hot chocolate and rang them out over their heads... I asked them to stop. Our oldest asked if he could watch a Christmas movie (also been letting them watch more movies earlier, due to the holiday season). I told him not yet. The toddlers demanded to get down. Our oldest wanted to know when we could watch one. I told them all that I would assist them after I ate my breakfast.

And so they asked me for the next five minutes if I was done.

When I cleaned all the hands and cleared all the plates, I discovered our dishwasher was ran before we went to bed last night, meaning I had a dishwasher full of clean dishes and about 5 plates, 4 mugs, 4 forks, and 1 knife filling the sink. Plus my husbands breakfast dishes (1 pan, 1 plate, 1 fork). The boys are now running free is syrup coated pajamas. I put the dishes in the sink, turned away from the dish mess, and went to deal with the boys. We changed clothes. They resisted taking off snowman jams. Our 5-year old insisted that he either wanted to wear his pajamas all day or nothing at all. I went to their rooms only to find no jeans in any of their drawers. I literally got them dressed sitting on the floor next to the dryer, pulling their freshly cleaned clothes right out of the dryer and tossing their pajamas in the washer as I undressed them. Our 5-year old approved, "We should get dressed like this everyday! Then I wont need a hamper anymore!" (For some reason all our boys dislike their hamper.)

The bad thing about getting them dressed in the laundry room is that I had to walk through the kitchen and see the kitchen mess again. Ugh. I tell them I want to take a shower now and they need to behave. I dont know what set him off, but one of our toddlers then started throwing a tantrum. Time out. I calm him down and tell them to behave. I told our oldest that there was no wrestling allowed while I was in the shower. He promises he understands. The other toddler follows behind me, "Hungry, hungry, huuuuuungryyyyyy...." No way is he hungry with 2 hearty bowls of oatmeal and 3 pancakes in that tummy, plus the glass of hot chocolate. I tell him he needs to go play. He throws himself face down in my bathroom. Time out.

I finally got in the shower. While I was rinsing the conditioner out of my hair from my super fast shower, two of my boys bust in the bathroom accusing the third boy of biting one of them. And sure thing, one of the toddlers has a huge bite mark on his shoulder. The other toddler-- the accused toddler-- is pointedly not  in the bathroom with his brothers. And so I rinse, get out and go sort this all out. Time out for the biter. Apologies, tears, hugs, lectures... An injured party. It was very dramatic. I cant believe he bit his brother while I was in the shower. Over a block tower.

I start thinking they need fresh air. I get ready. They wrestle. One of the toddlers falls off the couch. Our 5-year old feels his brothers are being too loud. The toddlers want to watch Frosty the Snowman. Our dog wants to go out. I felt like they just didnt want me to get anything accomplished. I wasnt entertaining them and I wasnt getting our stuff together so we could get outside and walk to the park. Nothing was coming together and they were all fighting, arguing, crying. I wanted a hug.

Lunches packed. Shoes on (why is it always the same child who cant ever find his shoes?). A debate ensued over whether or not they needed jackets (me saying it wasnt cold enough, our 5-year old saying his brothers needed their puffy coats). The toddlers fought over who could carry the lunch bag. All three fought over who could carry the picnic blanket. All three argued with me over whether or not they could bring toys (me: no; them: yes. I won). Keys forgotten. All go back inside. All go back outside. Finally on our way. Find the perfect spot. Realize we forgot waters. Do we walk back? No, we stay.

I settle us into our spot and the boys all fought to sit in my lap! What?! We get out of the house to go play-- at an empty playground, no other kids or adults to feel shy around-- and they want to quietly sit in my lap?! After wrestling on my couch all morning?! I insisted they go play.

So I listened to them fight over the swing. And over the random toys they found in the sandbox. And I wondered, "Why did I go through all this trouble to take them over to the park just to listen to them fight here? At home I have my book. My coffee. I dont have the problem that I forgot to pack water." I was just about to pack us up to go home when one of my girlfriends walked over and met us at the park. I chatted with her. The boys wandered away. They ran; they chased; they played. They went down the slides. The swung on the swings. And I relaxed. We ended up walking home feeling better, tummies full from our packed lunch.

They were happy until we got home and they realized it was naptime. I wrangled them into bed. It was one of those days that you look at the clock and think, "Is it seriously only 1:30 pm? There are so many hours left in the day!"

Im still not sure what Im going to do with all those hours.

Im just hoping the second half of our day is smoother than the first half of our day!

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weight loss during pregnancy hormones | Book list link up link up closed

weight loss during pregnancy hormones

Ive recently joined a book club. At the end of each monthly meeting, we vote on next months book. This got me thinking about some of my favorite books and books I would recommend others to read. I absolutely love chatting with my friends about our next must-read book. Also, the stack of books on my nightstand is dwindling and Im in need of a good book!

I thought this would be a great opportunity to host my first link-up! For those of you who do not know what a link-up is, let me explain. Fellow bloggers who participate in this link-up will write their own must-read book lists and use the widget at the bottom of this post to link their post to mine. So click on the thumbnails below! See what other people are recommending.

The link-up is open from Monday, November 4th, to Friday, November 8th. Bloggers can add their blog posts throughout the work week. Check out what is being added each day or come back next Saturday, November 9th, to see what books you need to put on your Amazon wish list! :)

If you do not have a blog but love reading, please leave a comment with your book recommendations!

Kimbers Recommendations

 

1. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
This book is hitting a wave of popularity due to the upcoming movie release on November 8th, 2013. I havent seen the trailer for the movie yet, but I can tell you, you must read this book.

 

2. The Dog Stars by Peter Heller

My friends are probably tired of me telling them to read this book. I dont care; they really need to read this book!

 

3. The Accidental Tourist by Anne Tyler

My copy of this book is dog-eared and missing the cover. I have probably read this book no less than 10 times.

 

4. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

"Just because you are paranoid doesnt mean they arent after you."

 

5. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
A must-read and then you can watch Pride and Prejudice and love it all the more. And I truly believe only people who have not read the book would tolerate the Kiera Knightley movie-- stick to Colin Firth. Since Im a huge Jane Austen fan, I actually recommend you read all her works.

 

6. East of Eden by John Steinbeck

"Man has a choice and it is his choice that makes him a man."

 

7. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

You should probably read everything written by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, but start here.

 

8. The Time Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

I have not seen the movie for this book and Im not sure I want to. Something about this book can make me cry every time; I dont want the movie to ruin it.
 

 9. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

A book full of the depths of human emotions. (My family would not believe I wrote this list if it didnt include Russian literature.)

 

10. I want to end this list with a cult novel, since I love them (Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahnuik) or a book about sisters (The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown). Id really like to include a recommendation by my sister (Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchet). I cant make up my mind. How could I recommend only 10 books? :)

 

 

);

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pregnancy with weight loss surgery | Happy Mothers Day from Kimbers Navy Family

pregnancy with weight loss surgery

The other day our boys were exhausted from a busy day out. Since they no longer nap, I brought them upstairs to watch a movie and (hopefully) rest for awhile. Sitting in my arm chair with a 10-month old nursing/sleeping in my lap, 2 4-year olds spacing out on my bed to "101 Dalmatians," and a 6-year old flipping through his Highlights magazine on the floor, I did what all moms do when trapped in front of the same movie we have watched 100,000,000 times before: I grabbed my phone and started reading blogs. Well, then I switched to Facebook and started reading comments. One Humans of New York post stuck out in my mind. It showed a woman beautifully dressed for the Met Gala. She mentions how life with a one-month old is different than how she thought it would be and how she didnt let her baby near her dress. Many people commented on it saying, "Oooh! FIRST TIME MOM!" One comment has been rolling around in my mind since I read it: how snarky moms with 3, 4, and 5 kids are, how they think they are better than everyone else just because they have a ridiculous amount of kids, how they dismiss everything moms with 1 and 2 kids are going through because they "only" have 1 or 2 kids, how we are all moms and should be supporting each other instead of bullying each other, and, finally, how we all walk through this motherhood journey differently.

Whew! When I read that comment, I first thought, "Wow, this lady really does not like moms with 3+ children." Then I started thinking about it. Do moms with many really sound so judgy? As a mom of 4, I would like to think not. But then I started thinking back to a lot of comments I heard when I started my motherhood journey, how irritated I would get when people poo-pooed my concerns by patting me on the head and saying, "First time mom, eh?" I also started thinking about how my thinking has changed from my first pregnancy to our last pregnancy and from our firstborn to our last born. There has been a significant shift in my thinking and I do parent differently. I noticed it after we had twins (our second and third children), but Ive really noticed it with our fourth baby. Much of what I did differently with our twins I attributed to the fact that we had twins after a singleton. However, with our fourth baby, Ive really noticed a difference in my mothering than with our first child and our second and third children.

What differences am I talking about? Ive actually written a couple blog posts about this topic before. One of them about "becoming my parents" and how I understand many of their parenting decisions the longer I mother; one of them about how differently I view our childrens ages and my expectations of them this time around now that Im not a "first time mom." In a general sense, the biggest difference, to me, between having my first baby and having my fourth baby is that I know how quickly the infant stage passes. Being a person that thoroughly enjoys the baby stage, I now have first hand experience that the sleepless nights, the colic, the breastfeeding, the pumping, the bottle-feeding, the baby foods, the diapers, the footie-pajamas with 100 snaps that never line up correctly, the spit-up, and the fussy evenings fly by before you even realize it. Our fourth baby (who I swear was just born!) turns one next month-- what?! There are so many amazing "firsts" that first year that are clearly marked: first bath, first time he holds up his head, first smile, first time reaching his arms up to me when I say his name, first time sitting up on his own, first time in a high chair, first foods, first time standing, first steps... I can clearly see these firsts and mark them in his baby book. The firsts after that become much harder to distinguish. One day our 6-year old burst in to the house and wanted me to watch him ride on his skateboard. Apparently he had been practicing this (with the appropriate protective gear and padding). It was my first time seeing him slowly make his way down our driveway on the skateboard, but his dad had seen him do it and he had been practicing this for years (according to him). Suddenly these tiny little babies of mine that I have invested so much of my time in are these little people with their own little lives. I feel our 6-year old and our 4-year olds moving further and further away from me with each year. I dont notice it so much in our day to day life; it is when I stop and reflect on our days that I see how much they are growing. And so, with our fourth baby, when I am elbow deep in sleepless nights and sticky baby hands pulling my hair and his snot covered face buried in my J Crew silk blouse, I know that in a blink of an eye he will be a 2-year old, that before I know it he will be a 4-year old and the next day a 6-year old. I know how fleeting it is that my baby will need me as he does now. With that lesson in mind, I can only assume that when our oldest is 12-years old, I will look back at the time when he was 6-years old and miss this time, when he needed me as a 6-year old boy needs his mother.

How does that lesson affect my day to day parenting? With our fourth baby, it is easy to see how it affects my parenting. The little things really just do not get to me. I can wake up after a rough, sleepless night and say, "Man, he slept horribly!" My day is not derailed and I just brew an extra cup of coffee. I give grace when he screams through dinner. I am able to slow us down and say, "Yeah, probably not going to get those errands done today; lets just take a walk instead." Our fourth baby loves taking walks and so we love walking him. We are able to put on the brakes and enjoy the small moments that happen each day, whereas with our oldest I felt like those fussy colicky days dragged on forever; with our twins, I felt like they flew by in a world of baby spit-up and endless evenings. With our fourth, I feel like the days are full of baby smiles and sweet moments. When I compare him to our other children, they really arent that different, but my perspective has changed.

In my day to day parenting with our older three boys, it is sometimes harder to see how this lesson affects my parenting. For instance, with our oldest, he is our first 6-year old. I get these glimpses when I see him around other 6-year olds that the behaviors that we find so baffling (repetition, slap-stick comedy, potty humor) are completely normal. Those are the times where I say, "Hey, we need to cut him a break. When our other children are 6-years old, I doubt we will even bat an eye at this behavior yet we are holding our oldest to a very high standard that perhaps should not be this high."

With our twins, it is hard because some of the things that they are going through are exasperated by the fact that we have 2 children the same age. So this morning when one of our 4-year olds was having an absolute come apart because he couldnt find his Olaf piggy bank, our other 4-year old was having an absolute come apart because he wanted to go to My Gym right now (all while I was in the middle of feeding the baby and getting our kindergartner ready for school). I have to take a breath at those moments and think, "Would this be so annoying if one 4-year old was yelling at me right now?" First instinct is always YES!!!!!, but then I am able to step back and dig deep and think, "Maybe not... because I would be able to focus on the one 4-year old in front of me who wants his Olaf piggy bank and talk him through it." If I had one 4-year old, I would be able to approach the situation this way: 

"Yes, I am feeding the baby, but when I am done I can go upstairs and help you find it. Do you know where you saw it last? What do you want to put in it? Do you think we should find somewhere safe to put it so we dont lose it again?"

Instead of this way with 2 4-year olds:

"Yes, I am feeding the baby-- please stop interrupting, I am talking to your brother-- and I will help you find your Olaf piggy bank-- sir, I need one second, we are not going to My Gym right now. I need to talk to your brother and then I will talk to you-- yes, I know you want Olaf, your brother was interrupting, I will help you find it. Sir, do not yell at me. We are not going to My Gym. We will find your piggy bank. I am feeding the baby. I hear you. We cannot go to My Gym; it isnt even open right now. I need a minute and I will go upstairs with you. Okay, both of you-- time out until I finish feeding the baby. Then I will help you both. Time out. Go."

With them, I find that I know what to expect from their ages-- a newborn, a 1-year old, a 2-year old, a 3-year old, a 4-year old, etc-- but that I am often surprised by how it translates having 2 children at that particular age at the same time. I have been most surprised that, while the newborn phase was super busy, the toddler phase was harder. I have also been surprised lately with the challenges we have had with 2 4-year olds. They are about at the age where pushing them in the stroller is impractical (pushing 2 30-pound children in a double stroller while wearing 1 20-pound baby in the Tula? No, thank you), so now we have 3 children out of the stroller and only 1 child in the stroller (2 of them being 4-year olds with 4-year old temperaments). Anyways, so some of my expectations regarding their ages and stages are different when handling twins than a singleton. I know this also makes me approach our fourth child, a singleton, with a softer lens as well. (For instance, before our fourth child, the last time we were doing the newborn stage, we were changing two babies diapers around the clock, which makes changing one babys diaper feel like a lot less diapers. The last time I had a 10-month old, I was wrestling 2 10-month olds through diaper changes and into clothes, which makes wrestling one 10-month old feel like a lot less work.)

Beyond the multiples perspective (comparing twins to a singleton), some things simply are a lot less work when I do them with our fourth baby than with all 4 children. I am surprised when I travel or go out with "just the baby" at what doesnt feel like work to me anymore. When I went out with our first baby, getting the infant carrier in and out of the car, pulling the stroller in and out of the car, loading and unloading the diaper bag... it was a lot. Everywhere I went I carried a sea of belongings. If I stood in line and he started fussing, I was exhausted and irritated, "Why are they taking so long to check out at the grocery store? Come on..." I would wrestle him through doctors appointments, "Im here with a baby! You would think they could move this along..." Even when we had our twins (our second and third children), I would never choose to make a stop when I was out with the children. I remember taking one of our infant twins with me to the store and he cried the whole time. I thought, "Man, even taking one child to the store is a ton of work." Then we had baby #4. Our twins were 3-years old. Our oldest had just turned 6-years old. I fully expected to have the same feelings lugging around the baby and the infant carrier as I had when our twins were born... but I didnt. I dont know if it is because Im a baby person, but toting around one baby? I got this. If I leave the 3 older boys home (with their dad or my parents) and I am out with the baby, Ill stop at Starbucks. Ill run in to the grocery for one thing (unless they have to, moms never choose to run in the store for one item). I call home, ask if anyone needs anything else. I take him to the doctor and dont mind waiting-- one baby is a break from 4 children (Dont mind me! I brought a book!). I buckle and unbuckle him from his car seat, unload and reload the stroller, pop in and pop out the infant carrier. NBD (No Big Deal). I did not expect to feel that way and it really is a change from how I felt with our first and our twins. But it is less work going out with one baby than 4 children-- making sure our oldest is buckled in his high-back booster and buckling the other 3 children in their car seats, unloading 4 children from the van, getting the baby in the stroller and making sure the older 3 are holding hands in the parking lot, keeping an eye on 4 children at the park, etc.

For other things, like pediatrician visits and the like, it is definitely different for me the more children we have added. The things I would take our first in for were not things I took our second and third in for and definitely not what I take our fourth in for. It ends up falling in that category of, "Man, do I really want to drag 4 children to the pediatrician?" Because some one always catches something new when we go in for a sick visit. If I have one sick child and 3 well children with me, I dont want to sit in the sick child waiting room with 3 well children, but no one wants me in the well child waiting room with my one snot-nosed, coughing, feverish child. And who wants to deal with all those children in the small pediatricians office? Children climbing all over the exam table (and falling off of it), children licking the floor and sliding all over the floor, me bouncing the sick child (or children) on my hip, the doctor finally coming in to glare at the misbehaving children who have been waiting for 20 minutes and then telling me, "Yup! He has a cold." No, thank you. If Im taking children to the pediatrician, I need a reason. Rash? You better have that rash for days, then Ill take you. Fever? Better be high. Injury? Ill call the nurse line first. Any questions or concerns, I call my mother, who has 4 children herself (plus 5 grandchildren now).

The last thing I thought of for how things are different for me now that weve had 4 children compared to when we had one child is that I really have allowed myself more grace. My mom is always instructing me to pick my battles. Some things that were worth fighting over with one child simply are not worth fighting over with 4 children. For instance, I wrote a blog post on "toddler technology." The times that I found it appropriate for our oldest to hang out and watch a lot of movies are different than the times I have found it appropriate for our other 3 to hang out and watch a lot of movies. During this move, our oldest has spent a lot of time on his tablet playing Minecraft and Minion Rush. It simply becomes overwhelming to do it all by myself and I have to give myself grace, allow for different seasons in our life, allow for times when we do things closer to our ideal and times when we take more shortcuts. Life happens. Much like how I need to give our children patience and grace, I also need to extend that to myself.

Which brings me to the final point: patience and grace. Ive written many blog posts on motherhood. This whole blog is about being a Navy family: our life, our experiences, my musings. One of my greatest parenting convictions is that we all do things differently. What works for me today, might not work for me tomorrow. What works for one of my children, might not work for another of my children (something I have definitely learned the more children we have had!). How I feel about something is not how another mom feels about it and what is important to me may not be important to you. When I write my blog posts on parenting and managing twins, that is how my husband and I have handled our situation, how we live our life. My favorite parenting advice to give is do what works for you. Treat other moms with patience and grace. It isnt a competition and we dont help our cause as women by putting each other down. Being a military wife and now mother to 4 children including twins, I feel like there is this competition to "have it worse:"

"I had 4 kids in 4 years and none of them are twins; that must have been much easier getting two out of the way at once."  

"That must be so nice having such an age gap between your twins and your baby; my kids are 12 months apart and it is so crazy."  

"I have a 28-month old, a 17-month old, and a 2-month old and my husband will deploy next year."  

"I have 13-month old twins and my husband is deployed."

We dont know anyone elses story. We dont know why someone is getting in our face about how much "worse" they have it. Maybe they are having a bad day? Maybe they arent trying to be a one-upper and I am taking it the wrong way? Maybe they really are just a one-upper and I need to put it in a bubble and let it go? Patience and grace.

We are in this together. I know that it was hard with my first baby and it is hard with my fourth baby. I know that the challenges I had with my first baby are different than the challenges I have with my fourth baby. It was hard being pregnant with a singleton and hard being pregnant with twins. It is important to extend the same grace that I wanted as a first time mom to other first time moms. More important than that is knowing that not everyone desires or will have 3+ children and that is okay; it also doesnt make the experience of having 3+ children better or greater than having 1 or 2 children.

To whoever wrote that comment on the HONY post, Im sorry that your experience with moms of 3+ children has been less than positive. I hope that this blog post helps shed some light on the perspective of parents who have 4 children and compare the experience of parenting their first child to their fourth child. I also hope that as parents we can uplift each other instead of bringing each other down. You are absolutely correct that we need to support each other and that everyones motherhood journey is different.

To the first time mom sitting at the pediatricians office first thing Monday morning because your 9-month old sneezed over the weekend and has a drippy nose, love to you. To the second time mom wiping a pacifier off on the hem of your dress, love to you. To the third time mom wondering if the baby has been bathed this week at all, love to you. To the fourth time mom popping in 101 Dalmatians for the 100,000,000 time just to have some peace and quiet in the evening, love to you. To the fifth time mom answering for the 100th time "Yes, they are all mine," love to you. To the mom of newborn twins struggling to feed one baby and bounce the other, love to you. To the mom of toddler twins desperately trying to make the house one iota more baby-proof, love to you. To the mom suffering from a recent miscarriage and desperately missing that baby you never held, love to you. To the mom balancing the children and life while your husband is deployed or away, love to you. To the mom pregnant and chasing after one or two or three children and longing for a nap or a break, love to you. To the mom of the toddler screaming through the grocery store while your fellow shoppers glare at you, love to you. To the mom crying in the bathroom while you text your mom and the children tussle and fight in the other room, love to you. To the mom sitting in the van in the driveway while your children nap in the backseat, love to you. To the mom of one child being asked all the time when you are having another, love to you. To the mom feeling you are doing it all wrong, love to you. We support you all.

Happy Mothers Day!

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baby losing weight when teething | Navy family united we stand

baby losing weight when teething

One of the things I hear about all the time is the idea of a "Navy family," not as in my blog title, Kimbers Navy Family, which refers to our nuclear family, but a temporary family comprised of military members and their families supporting each other. People post pictures about how they love their Navy family, "Dont know what I would do without these girls! Love my Navy family!" Or make comments about how their Navy family helped get them through certain times in their life. I myself talk often about our Navy family. The past couple weeks, the concept of a Navy family has materialized once again in real and practical ways in my life. While we were away from the Navy community during my husbands years at college, I almost forgot about how present a Navy family is and just how much help our Navy family offers. Our Navy family truly becomes far more than just people we meet, but family, people that step into our lives and lift us up, people that bring light to times where you feel alone and lost. People that years after they entered into your life, you remember and cherish. Who is this Navy family?

1. The people that never leave.

While we were still newlyweds, I had our first miscarriage. It was a very hard time. I was far away from my friends and family at a duty station where I hardly knew anyone. The few people I knew drifted out of my life when it happened; I dont think they knew what to do or say and so they avoided me. I was alone and heartbroken. And then these two women burst into my life, one of whom I had met a few weeks before and another I had only had polite conversations with in passing-- a JOs wife and our chiefs wife. Our chiefs wife headed up the Sunshine Committee with our FRG; she coordinated meals for families that needed them and baby gifts for new babies-- things of that nature. When I had my miscarriage, she started bringing us meals, then she started driving me to my doctors appointments. From there, she became my go-to person for all things Navy related. When our boat changed homeports, she came with me to the housing office and walked me through the check-in process since the boat was gone, I had no clue what I was doing, and I was sitting there with a baby and a power of attorney. Her and her husband have guided me and my husband along in our marriage, to raise a Navy family with emphasis on family. She has listened to me, counseled me, and loved me like a sister. Amazingly, we are now stationed near each other again. All these years later and she is still the person I call when I dont know what to do raising our boys or I need prayer or someone who will listen, cry with me, laugh with me, or just be there for me. I pray constantly to be the type of friend she has been to me and to love as openly and beautifully as she does. She is the person that embraces the good and bad in life and allows God to work through her to turn it into a beautiful masterpiece (while I am in the corner worrying, complaining, or crying). I love her and her family with all my heart. If nothing but this family ever comes of my husbands Navy career, we will have been blessed immeasurably.

The JOs wife has been another one of those friends. Her and I hit it off at a "mandatory fun" event put on by the boat. We are both from California. We both enjoy literature. At the time, our due dates were just days off from each other. When I had my miscarriage, our slow building friendship was thrown into the fire where something pure and beautiful emerged. I didnt expect anything from her-- a person I just met-- but she called me and said, "Listen. I really enjoy this friendship with you. I understand if you need space or time or if my pregnancy is painful for you right now. I want to support you. Please let me know what I can do and I am open to it. If you dont want to discuss my pregnancy, I am happy to do that." Since the other people I knew backed out of my life, her straight forward and honest approach was reassuring. Our friendship has grown like that over the years, strong and firm, honest, true, and loyal. We can talk about anything and everything and love the heart and soul of each other. We havent lived near each other in awhile, but I think about her and her sweet family every day. We use social media and Skype to keep in touch with each other. When we get on the phone, we pick up right where we left off, laughing and letting our children say hello. I will be honest-- I hope that one of our sons marries her daughter-- but even if we do not become family in the legal sense, they will always be part of my chosen family.

2. The people that do not stay.

A strange phenomenon that happens with your Navy family is people you do not know helping you in deep or personal situations, some of whom you never get to know better past that point, but who you would equally support if the tables were turned. I have had neighbors bring me meals when I had sick children and my husband wasnt home. Neighbors come over and insist on watching my children so I could go to the ER or support a sick relative. I have had people drop off groceries, run errands, give support, offer much needed words of encouragement or an ear at moments where I felt alone, alone, alone. I have had neighbors add me to their family meals, dropping off food for me regularly because they know my husband has strange hours. I have had wine nights that lasted well into the wee hours of the night with women I do not know, but who I sat and talked with for hours because we both needed a friend. I have had people offer to pick up my mail, walk my dog, watch my children, or do any small errand for me because they knew I needed help-- and these werent just offers, but people truly saying, "Let me help you. What can I do now? Tonight?" These are the people that I forever feel grateful for, these fleeting angels in my life. For one reason or another, a deeper friendship doesnt grow-- our schedules, the distance between each others houses, or someone PCSing right at the start of a budding friendship-- but they are people who know what you are going through and who know how to help, who want to help, and who roll up their sleeves to lend a hand to a fellow Navy family simply because they are looking after their own.

When I think of this group of people, I get the warm feeling I had sitting on someones back porch-- I dont even know who-- drinking wine out of a plastic cup and chatting about books. There was a Scentsy lamp on the patio furniture and everyone was talking, laughing, fireflies dancing over the playground. I had gone for an evening walk with our dog and ended up crashing someones going away get-together. I felt accepted, part of a larger group of people, and content. We all lived vastly different lives yet we were the same-- all married to sailors and all in this together.

3. The people you just met.

Often times, with Navy life, we are forced to ask brand new friends for help. Many of the Navy families I know are fiercely independent (or maybe just stubborn and slightly introverted). We build ourselves a little fortress, barricading ourselves inside with a small support network of carefully chosen friends and family, power of attorneys, and the Internet, hoping we can find our own answers or hunker down until the hardships are over. We can ask in chat rooms or text friends from past duty stations, but when it comes to asking for physical help-- GASP! Our insides turn to mush and our legs become shaky. We thank people excessively for performing the smallest tasks and send over meals and baked goods for weeks afterwards, "Just wanted to say thanks!" I recently had to text a gal I met days before to ask if she would walk over and sit at our house while our 3 older boys slept so I could take the baby to the hospital for his bronchiolitis. The baby was having a hard time breathing and our older 3 were asleep and I felt horrible asking. I was two steps away from loading everyone up into the van when I thought, "Im just going to do it... Im just going to text her." I did. I stared at the phone with a knot in my stomach, guilt washing over me, when she texted me back moments later, "Of course! No problem. Be right over." Why is it so hard? I dont know. But frequently moving-- between you moving or your friends moving-- means that no matter how you try to feather your nest, there are those moments that you need to ask for help. People I barely know have asked me for help-- from using my washer and dryer to baby-sitting to rides-- and Im always happy to give it. The Navy family extends to these brand new friends we make, people who you click with instantly, like the JOs wife when I had my first miscarriage, who you know will become a great friend, but arent yet. One of the big differences about budding friendships in the Navy is that often these friendships are started during times of great stress and turmoil, periods of your life where you do not feel like yourself, where you are asking for help all the time, where you are emotionally exhausted or spent and do not feel you are presenting your true self. Your Navy family can see past that. They see you. They have walked that road before and know that moving with children is hard. They have had the move where everything is broken and everyone gets sick the week your household goods are delivered. They know what it is like when your vehicle arrives at your new duty station a month later than expected or you are sitting on the housing wait list for months on end. These brand new friends think nothing of having you over for dinner, of moving your laundry to the dryer while you nap on the couch, of baby-sitting in the middle of the night. They are there through the storm and there when the dust settles. Ive found often with these friendships that these are the friends who are in it for the long haul, that will be lifelong friends (read, "Saying good-bye").

One thing that makes me laugh about this category of friend is that sometimes huge basic gaps are missing in these friendships. These gals are throwing my cloth diapers in the washer for me, Im scrubbing their kitchen, were wiping each others tears, were at each others houses past midnight, theyre driving my vehicles and picking up prescriptions at the pharmacy for each others children, but if we mention our husbands names we have to remind each other, "Yeah, that is my husbands name." These gaps definitely fill in later, but it is always funny to discover what basic things we do not yet know about each other when we feel like weve walked through fire together... in our 2 week friendship that already feels like years.

Do you have a Navy family? How have they helped you?

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healthy weight loss during pregnancy | 2013 flu shots

healthy weight loss during pregnancy

Ready to get their flu shots

To start this off, I am NOT against military clinics. I know many people immediately start looking for the bad when going to a military clinic or automatically assume the doctors arent as good or whatever. We have used three military treatment facilities (MTF) so far in my husbands naval career and two civilian providers, this being our third MTF. I knew what to expect heading back to the MTF. Before moving here, I was very nervous about moving our asthmatic toddler from our last pediatricians office. They were wonderful there and knew his whole history, what his triggers are, what medicines hes been on, etc. They took excellent care of our boys there, especially O, and I was nervous to move right before cold and flu season. (Read "Reactive airways.")

When I walked into the clinic here in South Carolina, I was impressed. It seriously looks like a mini Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. I have been seen quickly both times I went to the clinic, no long wait times. The pharmacy moves right along and they have a drive up window. The staff is great. The lab is quick. They even have an email service that Ive used several times. I have sent my doctor emails that reach her nursing staff. They have replied to my messages promptly, within 30-40 minutes or first thing the next morning if I sent one at the end of business day.

Downside?

It is October 23rd and they still do not have flu vaccines available to dependents.

There are posters all over the clinic advertising the importance of getting a flu vaccine and they still have no definite date on when flu shots will be available to dependents. My PCM even told me, "They say next week, but theyve told us next week every week." So I asked her, "Can we get a referral or prescription and go out in town?" She kind of beat around the bush in the office and I didnt have a place I knew we should go, so I didnt press the issue. She did emphasize before I left how important it is for me to get O his flu shot since his asthma and medical history puts him in a high risk category.

On top of this, South Carolina seems to have very strange laws regarding vaccines for minors. No child under the age of 6 (the age I heard most consistently from pharmacists) can get a vaccine without a prescription from their doctor, meaning no walk-in flu shots. I called Walgreens, Rite Aid, Target, and local urgent cares. Consistently, we were denied flu shots for our two and a half year olds, some said they would be willing to give our five-year old his flu shot. I even offered to pay out of pocket since flu shots are, what, $15 or $20? No, flu shots are $31.99 (times three, since we have three boys), but even paying out of pocket, they still would not give our toddlers the flu shot.

I found a nearby CVS and asked the pharmacist what I had to do to get our boys, including the toddlers, a flu shot there. She said, "Oh, just have your doctor send over a prescription and we can give it to them no problem. We accept Tricare Prime." I went home and messaged my doctor. She sent me back a message this morning denying my request. She told me to take them to the Health Department.

I ended up having to post a thread in a wives group where someone tipped me off about CVSs Minute Clinics. I found our closest Minute Clinic (a little over half an hour away) and we all drove over there this morning. Here is the link to the Humana website with the Minute Clinic information: "Convenient Care May Still Need a Referral." I called Minute Clinic (link to their website: Minute Clinic) and got specific information about the clinic I was going to take the boys too, confirming that they would accept Tricare Prime, that they would administer the vaccine to two and a half year olds, and that they did have childrens flu shots in stock. My husband, being active duty, was already given his flu shot by the Navy and, finding this to be quite the ordeal, I had already gone to Target for my flu shot the week before.

The Minute Clinic has a highly irritating automated answering system. When I finally reached a representative, I was feeling frustrated by this whole process. The guy on the phone was really nice and very helpful. I actually hung up smiling, glad to finally have somewhere to get their flu shots. The woman at the Minute Clinic was an angel, seriously. She was so sweet to our screaming two-year olds and actually managed to give our five-year old his shot without him bursting into tears (he has a fear of shots right now). Getting there was challenging, but CVS made the process as painless as possible. We even got a 20% coupon that we used to buy the boys candy for being so brave. Even our cashier was sweet, telling the boys how good they were.

I am really irritated with how our flu shots were handled at the MTF. I feel like they have basically thrown their hands in the air and said, "Oops! We dont have them yet! Gotta wait!" Come to find out, most of our neighbors do not have their flu shots yet. Ive heard from several people that they find this process so irritating that they dont get them anymore. I have never had this experience with Tricare, at a different MTF, Prime, or Prime Remote. I even asked our doctor if there was an exception for high-risk patients to get their flu shots (me and O) and she said no.

Im still give the MTF a chance. Im switching PCMs, at least for the kids, and seeing if there is a different doctor that we connect with more. Right now, Im just glad that our whole family has their flu shots!

Here is a link to the immunizations page of the health department, by state: "State Health Department Immunizations Websites."
(Without insurance, flu shots are $25 at the Health Department in South Carolina.)

 

Here is a link to an article I really liked about being pro-vaccine: "Im Coming Out... as Pro-Vaccine."

 

My blog post on "RSV and premature babies," outlining Os 4-day stay in the PICU with RSV.

 

My blog post about the "2012-2013 RSV season," when O got the Synagis vaccine.

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pregnancy weight loss overweight | Pregnancy Blog Week 28

pregnancy weight loss overweight

I am officially now in the third trimester! Woop woop! There appears to be some debate as to when you are actually in your third and final trimester (!), but I think the consensus appears to be that by the time you are in your 28th week, youve reached the trimester milestone.  So hello third and final trimester! Eeek! 

Baby feels really huge at the moment, though I know he or she cant be that big yet, but they are the biggest wriggler ever. Come 7pm baby appears to have a disco hour marathon, and waves every part of its little body.  You can actually see my whole stomach moving and baby really kicks out if you put a hand on my stomach.  I really cant remember my daughter being this active.  Ive read that the wake / sleep cycles baby has now are most likely the ones baby will have once they are born.  All I can say is we are going to be very busy in the evenings!

I thought I was going into labour on Monday night as all day I had what felt like Braxton Hicks, and then in the evening, my stomach kept feeling like it was going really tight and crampy.  Always the one not to panic, my imagination ran wild as I am so not ready AT ALL for baby to come, I mean I havent even finished reading my labour book!  

I went to bed super early and then on Tuesday I felt lots better. Someone told me that your Braxton Hicks are much stronger in your second pregnancy?!? Im not sure what it was, but Im glad baby is comfortable and happy where he or she is for now! 

I had my 28 week midwife appointment this week and all was well.  Baby is lying across my stomach in a little hammock shape, which may explain my continued rib pain.

So other than me panicking about labour, having rib pain and disco hour, all is well and I think this month is where I am going to get a bit more organised and finish decorating the nursery.  I also need to send my husband to the depths of the loft for the mountain of baby items that Im sure are up there!

Ive had people say some very funny things to me recently, so be sure to keep an eye out for a post next week of what NOT to say to a pregnant lady! 

Thanks for reading and hope you have a lovely weekend, 

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fat weight loss during pregnancy | Having friends with a busy family

fat weight loss during pregnancy

As luck would have it, the Navy brought an old friend back into our lives! I love that aspect on military life, the possibility of being stationed with friends again! Our neighbor from Hawaii just moved to South Carolina and now lives basically down the road from us. The last time I saw her, my oldest was about the age of her little 1-year old son. Now I have a 5-year old and 2-year old twins. She has a sweet, bubbly 1-year old who was content snacking on Plum Organic Puffs in a high chair while her and I caught up. As you can imagine, my boys were less than agreeable.

2 and a half is just a straight up hard to manage age. It is difficult to deal with when you have one child. It is even more difficult with two 2 and a half year olds. Even more difficult than that? When you also have an older sibling in the mix. The toddlers want everything their older brother touches. They take his toys, they try to climb in the chair hes sitting on. If hes playing on the floor, they want to climb on his back, wrestle with him. If hes outside, they want to go outside with him. And, of course, he can always get an argument going. They will be sitting at the table and hell walk over and say, "No." Out of the blue. No context. Nothing to do with what they are doing. Just, "No." Immediately their panties get in a knot, "Yes!" they scream. He counters, "No." And so a heated debate ensues, "Yes!" "No." "Yes!" "No." "Yesyesyesyesyesyes!" "Nononononono!"

To quote the Grinch, "Oh, the NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE!"

I feel like the boys were so badly behaved during that whole playdate. Im definitely not saying that normally they are extremely well behaved, but things that normally arent such an issue were really difficult. Like, for some reason, our 5-year old started throwing his napkin in the air while sitting at the table eating lunch. He has literally never done that before. I was sitting with my girlfriend in the playroom, chatting, and we heard the loudest clanging coming from the family room. One of the toddlers had filled a bucket with blocks and dumped it upside down all over the floor. There were toys strewn everywhere. The toddlers screeched, "Noooo," when I told them to do something (honestly, so did our 5-year old). Our toddlers normally get tired and grouchy around 1 or 2, signaling naptime. They were behaving like they needed a nap at 12:30 pm! Omigosh, I think I apologized for interrupting our conversation to mediate arguing, screaming children like 10 times. When my husband came home that evening, I told him that it was just embarrassing.

My girlfriend, of course, was super sweet and didnt seem phased at all by our boys behavior. It is times like that that I wish I had a video of how things "normally" are around here, just so I can say, "It really isnt normally like this." Yes, things are normally busy. We normally have some degree of brotherly disagreements. We normally have a couple accidents, someone fell or something broke. We normally end up slightly off schedule or slightly late. We normally eat dinner a smidgen later than I wanted to. The toddlers are normally unpredictable at meal times-- will they eat today? Our 5-year old is normally extremely curious-- which has led to experiments gone awry. But normally it is just the right amount of chaos to keep each day exciting, keep me on my toes, keep things fun. Normally I dont need a referee whistle.

As a mom, it can be hard when your kids dont behave. In this instance, I really wanted them to put their best foot forward. I think I feel most self conscious of their behavior when hanging out with a mom who has younger kids than ours, when they havent "been there" yet. Now that our oldest is 5, some of the behaviors that I disagreed with in older children when he was an infant, I have found are just 5-year old behaviors. Some things I felt we would be strict on, we arent. Some things I thought we would be relaxed about, we arent. Some things I felt were signs of bad parenting, I dont anymore. Some things I felt were signs of good parenting, I dont anymore. It still can be hard when our kids arent being the sweet boys I know they can be, when they dont show the charming sides of themselves that we see. When the only glimpse given to a new (or new to them) friend isnt the glimpse I would have chosen.

This is why Im grateful for the friends in our life. Yeah, my girlfriend was probably a little overwhelmed yesterday. A 1-year old is seriously adorable, especially her sweet little boy. But she was understanding and actually wants to meet up with us again soon! :) Im not just grateful for our non-judgmental mommy friends. I mean all our good friends, our married friends without kids who truly enjoy hanging out with us and who always are exceedingly sweet to our boys (seriously, who wouldnt love people that not only say they love our boys, but who also play with them while I clean up dinner? Yeah. Fabulous). Our adult friends-- single, dating, engaged-- that find our busy family fun. My girlfriends that chat with our kids on the phone, that have special treats for them when we come to visit, that are available when we come to town for a girls night out (I love when my girlfriends love my kids and I love when my girlfriends take me out without my kids! Lol!). I love our friends who also have big families, like the friends I made in North Carolina with kids spaced like ours, twins and a singleton, or families with kids similar ages as ours, like a new friend made here in South Carolina. It is nice to be able to tell someone that the kids went nuts when company came over and they truly relate. Haha! :)

 

And, of course, friends like the gal I met up with yesterday who have littler kids than ours, who are accepting of our boys-- the good, the bad, and the downright toddler tantrums. I know from first hand experience how it feels to hold your sweet, well-behaved infant and watch a toddler have an epic meltdown over, say, a napkin. I know how it feels to think, "I will handle that much differently." I know how it feels to be absolutely surprised when my adorable toddler is face down and red-faced when company comes over or snatching toys at a playdate (or worse, snatching toys and then hitting his friends with those toys). I think that is part of the reason why I feel so self-conscious of the boys behavior in those situations, because I was that gal with the little guy before and I know what I thought on many occasions.

It really has been a humbling experience for me being on the other side of this scenario, the one with more kids, older kids. I hope that I can be the friend to these gals that my friends with more and older kids were to me back then.

What do you do when your kids misbehave?

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nhs pregnancy weight loss | Soap Glory Archery Review

nhs pregnancy weight loss

I always used to use a shadow and brush to shape and define my eyebrows as I felt that sometimes pencils could leave you with eyebrows that resembled being drawn on and not be very natural looking.  But, as I was going to be doing alot of travelling earlier this year, I thought I would give an eyebrow pencil another ago for ease and quickness of use on my travels. Enter Soap and Glorys Archery brow tint and precision shaping pencil. 

This product isnt really an eyebrow pencil at all in the traditional sense.  The product has two ends which do two different things to your brows. 

On one end is a wet-feel tinted brush that you apply first to fill in any areas on your eyebrows.  When I first applied this, I didnt think any of the product was coming out as it felt so light, but thats the beauty of it because it is so light and natural looking, and there is a subtle difference. 

After applying this, you then apply the other end of the pencil which is like a waxy crayon.  You further shape and fill your brows and the crayon nicely fills them out, without being too heavy or dark. 

I love the overall effect of this product, as my brows still look like mine, just that bit better and fuller.  The product last all day on my brows, and its so quick and simple to use, really anyone could apply this and not go wrong. 

The pencil comes in two shades, Love Is Blonde, which I use, and a darker Brownie Points. The pencil is £10 from Boots and is normally in a 3 for 2 offer, so it might be worth treating yourself to some other bits from the collection! Here you can read my review on their sexy mother blusher. 

Thanks for reading, 

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baby losing weight on breast milk | Can you blog with an anonymous family

baby losing weight on breast milk

Right before I started my blogging journey, my husband and I sat down and discussed if he wanted to feature on my blog at all.  His immediate response was no way, and he has never really changed his mind. Whilst he is happy for me to blog away about our family life, he is quite clear that he doesnt want his name or any pictures of him being posted (except a cheeky one of his legs that I sneaked past him last month!).  Also, just a disclaimer, this may read like my husband is a world famous celebrity and we need to keep his identity hidden, but he isnt. 

We both also discussed the possibility of my daughters picture being on the blog, and again, for various reasons he really wasnt comfortable with the idea.  So aside from some back of the head shots and a picture where my daughter is incognito and dressed up, my family is a pretty big question mark over at Laura Evelyn Bee.  It makes me wonder if Im missing out? Am I going against the blogger grain? 

I only have to scroll through my Blogger or Instagram feed, and I see and read about other bloggers families.  I admire their childrens style or their tantrum antics captured for all to see.  I love seeing such personal posts and seeing children growing and proud parent blog posts. I never judge anyone else for including pictures of their little ones, and in fact, I love reading their posts.

Part of me thinks that people connect so much with blogs because they really give you an insight into someone elses life.  Can people even get an insight and connect with my blog with such an anonymous family? 

I also think from a brand point of view, that with an anonymous family, I am very unlikely to be picked by any major brands.  But then I guess, thats not why I started blogging.  I started blogging for me, to be creative and try something new. 

Blogging was and is something that I am passionate about, and I feel that neither my husband nor my daughter have made that decision.  It is only right that I respect their privacy while I happily snap away. And we are both parents. It really isnt my decision to make alone. My husband has to be 100% happy too. 

So for now, I will continue with my daughters cheeky face being unknown and my husband being a complete mystery.  I hope my words and stories are strong enough for now to paint the picture of my everyday life and being a mum. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this.  Are you a blogger who shares pictures of your children? Was it something you ever discussed with your partner?  Do you think you can blog with an anonymous family?

Thanks for reading, 

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herbalife weight loss during pregnancy | Military Monday Family Planning Linked with Eights on the Move

herbalife weight loss during pregnancy

So Im trying my first "link up" and Im not sure if Im doing this right, so please bear with me. I discovered this blog, "Eights on the Move," and she does a Military Monday topic where people link their blogs up to hers and answer the questions posted on the topic. This weeks topic is about Family Planning. Here is the link to her blog to see what other people posted, "Military Monday: Family Planning."

Being a military family influences many aspects of your life. For instance, you never know if your husband will actually be present for your plans. Some plans are fine, like a family movie night that you really wanted to have-- easy enough to cancel or reschedule. Some are frustrating, like family pictures with a professional photographer ("Um, can you Photoshop my husband in...?"). Some are emotional, like your wedding; my husband didnt tell me at the time of our wedding that he did not know until a couple days before our wedding that he would be able to make it. He didnt tell me until afterwards because he thought it would "stress me out." Since he was able to make it, I guess it really doesnt matter either way. I did ask him how I would have felt if he told me two days before the wedding that he couldnt make it... talk about stress!

Other things are just straight up complicated, like planning when to have a baby. If you have been following my blog, you have read about my miscarriage and partial molar pregnancy. We planned on having Baby #4 in North Carolina. My husband had no duty days or underways going through college. We didnt have to deal with a boat schedule. It was the perfect time to have our last baby. You know, until we miscarried and then discovered it was a molar pregnancy and I needed to have weekly and monthly blood tests before we could get cleared to try again...

The wrench was thrown into our plans and it had nothing to do with the Navy.

When is the perfect time to have a baby as a military family?

Honestly, there isnt a perfect time for us. We never feel that our finances are in the right place or that our plans are under control. Ive never felt in shape enough or prepared enough to welcome our newest family member or family members-- definitely didnt feel prepared for twins!

After being a military spouse for almost 7 years now, I have come to the realization that the only certainty with military life is uncertainty. You never know what life will throw at you. And once you have that little person in your life to care for, you still have the other aspects of military life to contend with. Our oldest came down with reseola during one of my husbands underways when we were living in Hawaii. My parents, on the east coast and 6 hours ahead of me, were powerless to help, despite my many tearful phone calls to my mom. He had a fever over 105, projectile vomiting all over my bedroom, and I was frantically getting us to the car to head over to the emergency room in the middle of the night. I did not know at the time that he had a common childhood illness; I just remember thinking, "Please be okay. I do not want to send a Red Cross message to the boat with a horrible message about our son." I was terrified and my husband was out to sea.

We did luck out with our timing for having twins. My husband was picked up in the STA-21 program and sent to North Carolina for 3 years to get his degree in mechanical engineering. Shortly after arriving, we found out I was pregnant with identical twins. I thanked God every night that my husband wouldnt be going underway or standing duty on a boat, that he would be home every.single.night. The pieces fell together perfectly.

This time around, God has His own perfect timing in mind. I really thought it would be perfect to have our last baby at the same OBGyn that we delivered our twins at, that we should have the baby before we moved to South Carolina. It just felt perfect to me. We dont know when the perfect time is now. We have no idea what my husbands schedule will be. First we hear he will be in the October class for power school, then he wont, then he will... I dont know. I dont know how long we will be living in South Carolina. I dont know how long it will take us to get pregnant. I dont know if there are good OBGyns close by who I would trust as much as I did our last OBGyn, especially considering my history (first pregnancy miscarriage, second pregnancy induced early for medical reasons, third pregnancy identical twins, fourth pregnancy a partial molar).

For us, the right decision is to proceed with business as usual. So we dont know my husbands schedule or where we will be living in 9 months. So we dont know when I will get pregnant or if it will be viable. There are so many unknowns that we deliberately put out of mind: What if it takes a long time to get pregnant and he finishes power school, SOBC, and prototype and is back on a boat, deployed? What if we dont like our new OBGyn and they dont do enough monitoring in the first trimester? We may be a military family, but we are still a family-- a husband and wife, following God, raising three boys the best way we can. Times like these are when we need to hand over our concerns to God and trust that it will all work out in the end, which it will. So what if it takes a lot longer to get pregnant this time? So what if he is deployed when I deliver? So what if we have to fight more for first trimester monitoring? We will face those challenges as they come, but not before then.

Want to read more about the things I mentioned in this blog post?

• Check out "In my life," where I give more details on how my sister delivered their one and only while my brother-in-law was deployed.
• To learn more about my miscarriage and partial molar pregnancy, read "3 months down." Here is my blog post just about what a "Molar pregnancy" is.
• Here is information about the "STA-21 Officers Program."

Do you find information about herbalife weight loss during pregnancy are you looking for? If not, below may help you find more information about the herbalife weight loss during pregnancy. Thank you for visiting, have a great day.

baby losing weight while breastfeeding | Why I have 4 children

baby losing weight while breastfeeding

Im super tired and working on my second latte of the day. Fairly certain the plans I had today (i.e. get dressed) are going to go out the window, so why not just throw in the towel now, curl up on the couch, and write a blog post?

I wrote a post awhile ago called, "Why do I feed our toddlers?" Since we recently moved and Im introducing myself to new people in a desperate attempt to make friends, I have been hearing a lot of comments like, "4 boys! Wow!" and "I dont know how you do it with 4." If you read my last blog post, I dont know how we are doing life right now either, so heres my response:

Why I have 4 children

10. I enjoy mess.

Unless Im picking Play-Doh, Legos, sand, or small rocks off my feet when I walk on our hard floors, Im not happy. Thankfully our children provide me with that lovely experience daily.

9. I enjoy mess.

Lets not leave off the carpeted upstairs. Who likes walking in the dark unless it is a challenge? When I head to bed at night I prefer to trip over action figures, toy bins, and unexpected booby traps.

8. I enjoy mess.

Guests coming over? I only enjoy company when I have that sinking embarrassed feeling when they sheepishly come back out of our hall bathroom moments after entering to tell me, "Um, I think someone may have had an accident on the floor...?"

7. I enjoy mess.

And lets not forget the diaper blow outs. If our potty training preschoolers arent having accidents, I can always count on the baby to blow out his diaper during a dinner party with my spouses co-workers.

6. I enjoy mess.

Detailed vehicles are boring. Who wants to look at beige car carpet? No, life is more adventurous if you are curious if that is barbecue sauce or diaper blow out on the WeatherTech floor mats. When your girlfriend casually says, "How about I ride with you?" I love muttering, "Derp, I promise my Honda Odyssey is usually cleaner than this..." because you know she believes me...

5. I enjoy mess.

Anyone can put an outfit together, but it takes a certain finesse to head out the house wearing a shirt that has a diaper blow out imprint on the hip, oatmeal caked on the front, and someone elses snot dried around the neck.

4. I enjoy mess.

Speaking of heading out of the house, dining out is a much more enjoyable and relaxing experience when at the end of the meal I get to scoop up infinite amounts of mushy food with tiny, thin napkins, flung by children who spent the meal pelting me with silverware while whining that they werent hungry.

(I also like herding said children out of the restaurant as I apologize to fellow patrons to load them up in the mini van as they whine they are now hungry...)

3. I enjoy mess.

But lets not forget the joys of eating in. Who doesnt like cooking a meal with 4 children underfoot, whining they are hungry, hitting each other over whos turn it is to help, and struggling through putting a meal on the table as you finish cooking with one hand/a baby in the carrier on your back? And then no one eats because they dont like whatever it is you cooked... despite the fact that they devoured that exact meal at your friends house the other day.

2. I enjoy mess.

Which brings me to friends... those people that you try to have conversations with as your children pull out every toy bin in their playroom, hit each other on their couch, or divulge how you inadvertently ate baby vomit the other day while you were only wearing underwear. Yes, we would love to do this again sometime.

(Please invite us back, please invite us back, please invite us back...)

1. I enjoy mess.

Nothing says joy of parenthood quite like naked children 10 minutes past when you were supposed to leave the house ("But you were all dressed 2 minutes ago!") or a complete lack of privacy ("Im showering!") or crawling in bed only to find Matchbox cars and plastic spiders (and those same things in your washer and dryer). And the pleasure of these encounters is only multiplied by the uplifting comments you receive when you finally do leave the house for caffeine/adult company ("Back in my day, we disciplined our children/didnt have electronics/respected our elders").

Do you find information about baby losing weight while breastfeeding are you looking for? If not, below may help you find more information about the baby losing weight while breastfeeding. Thank you for visiting, have a great day.

weight loss during pregnancy due to morning sickness | Taking it easy while pregnant with baby 4

weight loss during pregnancy due to morning sickness

I hear this all the time lately, "Take it easy."

"Just be sure to take it easy."

"Take it as easy as you can."

"You just really need to take it easy."

I am just over 30 weeks pregnant. I stay at home with our 5 and a half year old, whom we homeschool in preschool, and our 3-year old toddler twins. We have a dog. My husband is in the Navy which, of course, means we live next door to my parents (not).

How do I take it easy?

We went through this when I was pregnant with our identical twins. I was on modified bedrest and had multiple ultrasound appointments and an OB appointment each week. It was exhausting. When I was pregnant with twins, we lived in a small apartment with one toddler; I left the housework to my hubby. It was a small amount of housework and got done whenever he got around to it. (Sometimes in a frustrating amount of time.) But it all worked out.

How did I stay at home and take care of a toddler by myself every day then?

1. Netflix Instant Queue
I never had to get up to change a DVD. I could add shows to our queue from my computer and either watch them on our laptop or from our Blu-Ray player.

2. Toddler Look and Find books
I know I say this all the time, but I seriously loved these. I could sit and do these with our toddlers while I was laid out on the couch and later when I was feeding 2 newborns. There is so much to talk about in these books, from finding his favorite Disney characters to making up stories about what they are doing. These were a huge source of entertainment to us.

3. Melissa and Doug box puzzles
I love these puzzles. There are 4 puzzles in one box. He would drag this puzzle over to me and we could sit and do 4 puzzles without having to get up. We could do the puzzle on the couch because you assemble the puzzle on the lid of the box. Fantastic. We bought several of these during my pregnancy and in the early "twinfant" stages.

Things are different this time around. I dont have one toddler bumming to go to the park when I need to be resting. I cant turn on a show and take a cat nap while he plays quietly on the family room floor. As I write this blog post, Im propped up on the couch enjoying Braxton Hicks while our 3 boys bounce wildly around the playroom. Our house is always loud. Someone is always getting hurt. One day of skipping tidying up and the toys start taking over all our living spaces (a bit hazardous for me since I can barely see my feet!). So what am I doing this time around?

First of all, we have a very different living situation this time around. We dont have a small, quiet apartment to take care of. My husband is working much longer hours and when hes home he takes care of the kids and does a few small chores. He doesnt have time to do all the housework. We dont have a housekeeper helping us out like we did in North Carolina. Instead, I rely a lot on doing small tasks each day. I dont have one big day of housecleaning. We tidy as we go and I accomplish one area of housecleaning earlier in the day when my energy is at its peak. (For our cleaning schedule, check out my blog post, "Domestic goddess.") I also prioritize our house chores. I dont waste my energy doing things that dont need to be done right then or dont need to be done by me. For instance, heavier kitchen appliances that go in awkward cabinets will sit on our kitchen counter all day until my husband gets home to put them away. When I make a huge Costco run, I stack things in my vehicle so when I get home I can unload the freezer/fridge items and leave the rest for when my husband gets home. There is no need to tire myself out doing things that dont have to get done right then. These are small examples, but they add up. Sometimes I look around the house and think, "Man, we need to sweep the floors!" But we dont have company coming over and I already cleaned the bathrooms that day, so I put it off until the following day. Or, lately, I ask our oldest son if he wants to do it. Surprisingly, 9 times out of 10 he enthusiastically says yes; he absolutely loves helping his momma, as he calls it. One of the hardest things for me to do, oddly enough, is pick up toys. The constant bending over to pick up toys from the floor really inflames my round ligaments, not to mention sometimes making me very lightheaded (the joys of pregnancy-- Im anemic too, of course). I never spend time picking up toys anymore. I have the boys pick up their toys throughout the day, but my husband has them clean everything up each night when he gets home. I posted as a Facebook status the other day, "How do you guys get it all done?" My favorite response: "I dont." That really is the answer. I dont get it all done; I dont try to and I dont pretend to. I do what I can.

The number and ages of our children are also different. I was pregnant with our twins when our oldest had just turned 2-years old and then was months shy of turning 3-years old when they were born. I have been pregnant this time with a 5-year old (now 5 and a half year old) and 2.5-years old, just turned 3-years old toddler twins-- 3 kids at busy ages! While we have to sometimes, our kids go nuts staying home all day. They want to ride bikes, play outside, run in circles, and experiment. Homeschooling has been a huge blessing because we are always looking for activities. As this pregnancy has progressed, Ive set guidelines for myself when scheduling our days. I dont do activities that require walking or standing around; I must be able to sit. I dont over schedule our days (well, I really try not to... I accidentally overbooked yesterday). I stick to one or two activities, including errands and bigger chores. I have fun things for our boys to do in our front and back yard. My husband makes sure our outdoor spaces are usable for us. Hes always picking up our back porch so I can sit out there with the boys and watch them play. He keeps our garage organized so all I have to do is open up the garage and pull out our nice, sturdy folding chairs and watch the boys play. I love being able to let them run wild right outside of our house. We have tons of outdoors toys-- a water table, bikes, chalk, hose, sprinkler, scooters, every ball and sport you can think of, bubbles... They love paint brushes and buckets of water; they "paint" everything in sight. This is nice too because they can run in the house and use the restroom and I can fill up my water without having to drag everyone off of play equipment while lugging around all our stuff, like when we go to the park. I do also utilize our neighborhood parks; we pack sand toys and picnic. Sometimes this is our days outing. For the days we have to stay at the house, we have lots of indoor toys and we make sure to pick them up between activities so they stay fun, even if they can reach a lot of these themselves. We have crayons, Play Doh, puzzles, crafts... I really try to do a couple focused activities with them a day, even just helping me make granola bars, so that they arent moving from down time to down time.

Here are some of the things I have loved so far during this pregnancy:

1. Finding a homeschool playdate group
Since we are homeschooling preschool this year and starting to homeschool kindergarten next year, finding a playdate group with fellow homeschoolers has been awesome! (If you arent a homeschooling family, maybe just a mommy playdate group?) Instead of me trying to fill our calendar with things to do, I have this group of moms who are always planning something. They are always posting park meet ups, picnics, bubble playdates, information on local happenings... I love it and my kids love it. I dont go to all the playdates and Ive had to leave early a couple times, but it sure is nice to have low-key playdates outside of our house to take the kids to on our calendar!

2. Brain Quest workbooks
This is for our 5-year old. For our 3-year olds, I am using a lot of the same things I used with their older brother when I was pregnant with them. We do Look and Finds; we watch Netflix. And they are entertained. For our 5-year old... he gets bored. He wants to do something. These have been a recent purchase and Im sooooo glad we got them. We have our homeschool activities (read "Homeschooling 5-year old preschool"), but this is not for homeschool. This is just for the times that he is bumming to play a game and I want to lay on the couch because his brothers are finally quiet. He sits next to me on the couch and works on his workbook. He loves the puzzles and games. These have been very entertaining for him.

3. Well-stocked pantry
While running out of groceries wasnt a huge deal when it was my husband and I feeding a toddler,  now that we are a family of 5, I cant feed our kids just by splitting my meal with them. Eating out gets expensive, not to mention it is very inconvenient at our current duty station. It is exceedingly convenient to be able to make our meals at home (read "Family diet and family budget"). For breakfast we had English muffins, strawberries, and hard boiled eggs. We spent some time outside, came home for lunch, and I let the boys play on the back porch while they ate sandwiches, pickles, and apples. For snack we turned on a movie and picnicked on our family room floor where they had chips, almonds, and dried apricots. Since today has been such a rough pregnant day for me, I threw some tortellini in boiling water and steamed a bag of frozen veggies for dinner. Not fancy, but super easy.

4. Games
Games have been ah-maze-ing this pregnancy. We play so many games. With our 5-year old, we play the obvious preschool games: Chutes and Ladders and Candy Land. We also enjoy playing with him:

• Share a Berry
• SpongeBob Square Pants Yahtzee Junior
• Farkle
• Sorry and Sorry Sliders
• Battleship
• ThinkFun Math Dice Jr
• Uno
• 3-in-1 Jumbo Checkers

We dont play as many games with our 3-year olds. We didnt really start playing a lot of games with our oldest, like seriously play games, until he was around 3.5/4-years old. Playing with all 3 of our kids is a little crazy. We usually can get in 2, maybe 3, rounds before the toddlers are bored and our 5-year old is frustrated. With them, we recently have started playing Uno Moo-- which is actually a lot of fun and our oldest will play with his brothers, even without an adult-- and Cooties. Cooties has been more fun for us to play with the age groups, either with our 5-year old or with our 3-year olds. Our oldest wants to follow every rule and our toddlers just want to build Cooties and make them dance. A game our 3-year olds really like is when we take out their deck of cards and shuffle and deal and pass cards around. There is no rhyme or reason to this game, just holding real playing cards (one of our old decks that is now missing many cards).

5. Let it be
To quote the Beatles, "There will be an answer; let it be." Sometimes I just let it be. The kids are behaving too wildly-- but happily-- in the playroom and Im having horrible round ligament pain? Let it be. Husband called to say he was on his way home when I made steamed veggies and tortellini for dinner? Let it be. Someone knocked on the front door when Im wearing my husbands PT gear and our kitchen counter is covered in dishes? Let it be. Some of this stuff just really doesnt matter that much in the scheme of things. My house is not going to look like how it did before I got pregnant with baby #4 (which isnt how it looked before I got pregnant with babies #2 and #3... which isnt how it looked before I got pregnant with baby #1... notice a trend?). Pregnancy is a temporary state; Im not going to be pregnant forever. Yes, I will be busy when baby #4 gets here and there will be sleepless nights, but I wont be dealing with all the wonderful side effects of pregnancy (note the sarcasm). I cant do it all right now and there is no reason to do it all right now. Our house is operating under a Priority Policy-- if it must get done it will; if not, it wont. The harder side of letting it be has really been saying no. Sometimes there are things I want to do, but I know that after a day with the kids and my hubbys schedule being what it is, that it would be too much for me to go, that I wouldnt have any energy or that I would really pay for it that night with Braxton Hicks. The biggest reason I say no to things is that I know would just be exhausting for me and not fun, like if I would have to spend too much time wrangling the kids. It is what it is. I cant change whats on my plate-- my husbands schedule, our active kids, the point Im at in this pregnancy-- and so I just need to put some thought into what I say yes and no to.

6. Sisters
Ah-- gotta love family. Since we dont live anywhere near family, my sister is going to fly down and stay with us for a month, during an especially busy time in my husbands schedule, when Im even further in the third trimester and having a hard time dealing with his long hours. Im so excited to have her come down and help with the kids and make us dinner and pick up around the house-- er, I mean, Im really looking forward to her company. ;) On some of these really busy days, it is so comforting to think, "Only a couple more weeks and my sister will be here!"

So that is how Ive been taking it easy so far this pregnancy. My definition of taking it easy has evolved with each pregnancy and again this pregnancy with each trimester. Now that Im 30 weeks (home stretch!), Ive really had to put more thought into how I can take it easy with 3 kids.

What are your tips for taking it easy when pregnant, especially if you have other children?

Do you find information about weight loss during pregnancy due to morning sickness are you looking for? If not, below may help you find more information about the weight loss during pregnancy due to morning sickness. Thank you for visiting, have a great day.