post pregnancy weight loss while breastfeeding | Counting the miles

post pregnancy weight loss while breastfeeding

Ive never considered myself an insecure person. I would say that, in general, I feel confident in who I am and who God made me to be. I believe in the full body of Christ, how each of us have individual and unique gifts that we bring to the table. What I am good at may not be what you are good at and vice versa. I also believe that the root of finding your own confidence and inner strength is identifying what you are good at, what your passion is, what your skill set is. For myself, when I am practicing my skill, I get that sense of purpose. Sure, I occasionally see somebody doing something that I think, "Wow, I wish I could do that!" or something coming naturally to someone, where I have to work very hard at the same thing. Those times it is easy to doubt myself-- should I be doing that the same way? But having my inner compass-- my confidence in my own skills, my own sense of purpose-- I am quickly grounded again in who I am and being the best me.

Lately, Ive struggled a lot with that. Ive been pulling more things on to my calendar, some of them deliberately to challenge me and others to give back to my community. Ive been challenged. Ive been shown my limitations. Beyond that, Ive felt life is challenging me lately. Our 4-year old twins are at an age and stage that tests me on the regular. Different aspects of their personality challenge me in ways that I do not find enjoyable, but exhausting. My marriage is being challenged by the shipyard schedule and our return to life with my husband on a submarine. It is all life. It is all normal. It is all stretching me.

Because I like re-reading classics and because I have felt searching, I picked up On the Road by Jack Kerouac the other day. It felt like the book my soul needed at the moment.

They have worries, theyre counting the miles, theyre thinking about where to sleep tonight, how much money for gas, the weather, how theyll get there--and all the time theyll get there anyway, you see. But they need to worry and betray time with urgencies false and otherwise, purely anxious and whiny, their souls really wont be at peace unless they can latch on to an established and proven worry and having once found it they assume facial expressions to fit and go with it, which is, you see, unhappiness, and all the time it all flies by them and they know it and that too worries them to no end.

Unhappiness. Worrying over our worrying. And it is true-- in the end, we get there anyway. Why am I focusing so much on all these things that get me down?

It brought to mind these verses in Matthew. (Is it possible to jump from Kerouac to the Bible?) Matthew 6:31-34:

So do not worry, saying, What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or What shall we wear? For the pagans run after these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Lately I feel like my days move from one trouble to the next. My face is pulled into a facial expression to go with it and I spend so much time worrying about my life. Ive been consumed. And it has made me insecure. I doubt my abilities. I doubt my decisions. I doubt what Im capable of.

While getting ready this morning, I was listening to the Rolling Stones, "You cant always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need."

Mulling this over in my head as I went about our morning, dropping our 1st grader off at school, I seized the moment once we got home and called my best friend back; she called me yesterday. She wants to visit. As if my spirit couldnt get any higher from those words, when I told her what Ive been dealing with, she gave me encouragement.

This morning what I needed was the encouraging words of my best friend. What I needed last night was the encouraging text messages from my mom and the understanding ear of my husband. When he got home from work yesterday, he fed the children dinner while I left to go find a quiet corner in a restaurant to write. These people in my life surround me and lift me up. When I feel like I "cant" they show me that I can. (And, as my mom always encourages me, I can and I will.)

Yesterday morning at school drop off, I went home in tears, exasperated by the shenanigans of our 4-year olds, overwhelmed and in my head. I canceled my plans and cleaned the house from top to bottom-- cabinets, baseboards, laundry, and dusting included. Ive felt lost staring at the screen to blog. What should I write about that isnt yet another complaint? Sitting down this morning to write, I briefly doubted if I should publish this post.

But here is what I think is important: admitting your shortcomings. If I dont have the strength to admit when Im struggling, how will my friends find the strength to admit they are struggling to me? Wouldnt I happily bake a meal, baby-sit, or lend an ear to any of my friends when they need to feel the love? Ive got that love for them; I know theyve got that love for me. It is hard when we feel insecure. It is hard when we feel like the things we are good at fail, when we feel like nothing is succeeding, when we feel it is all for naught and we are running in circles. It is hard when we get in our own heads and feel alone. Yesterday taught me that while a lot of the day to day activities fall on my shoulders, I am not alone. My mommy texted and called me all day. My best friend is going to fly across country just to see me. My husband supports me. When I walked in the door from my solitary dinner last night, the children bustled down the stairs, "Mommy! Mommy! Where did you go? I love you."

Because I checked off my to-do list in a tear soaked binge yesterday, I can focus today on building my inner strength. I carved out that time to pray and listen to God. I am publishing this blog post when internally I wonder if I have anything to say. I am going to do some preschool with our 4-year olds and let them dabble in their passions; I swear one of them is ready to start reading. (How can I decline a desire to read?) The baby has a cold and needs me-- my care, my love, my patience. Today I have a chance to get what I need: the support of those that love me, opportunities to love those around me, and time to practice my skills. Ive let myself fall down a rabbit hole of insecurities, second guessing my every move. While I find it scary right now, I know that the only way to get past this is to put one foot in front of the other, to get on the road and stop counting the miles.

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pregnancy weight loss why | Project Parenting

pregnancy weight loss why

Bear with me...

I love Project Runway. I love watching people pursue their dreams and have an opportunity to let their creativity run wild, to focus solely on their passion. (When, as adults, do we have a chance to be thrown in neck deep to forget about the rest and just do what we love?) As I was watching Project Runway this season, I started thinking about a common theme through all the seasons of Project Runway, creating that moment. Runway fashion is about that moment when the model turns the corner on the runway and the audience gasps at the design and innovation of the created piece. It isnt about practicality or what went in to the outfit or the budget or any of that; it is that elusive moment of excitement and intrigue over what you are witnessing for that brief period of time. The model walks down the runway, pauses, lets you take it in, and then turns-- vanishes-- poof! She has gone back stage and the moment is gone. You are left thinking about what you saw. You only have your impression, what you remember, nothing in your hands, nothing tangible. How did you feel about it?

Recently Project Runway shows when the judges have the models come down to their judging area after the show, while the contestants wait to hear what was decided and who will go home. One by one the models come before the judges to have the pieces they are wearing inspected. Sometimes a piece that was mediocre on the runway suddenly blossoms in front of the judges eyes-- "Can you believe the amount of work and technique that went into this? It looks so simple and, yet, look! The fine detail..." Sometimes wow pieces are exposed for what they are-- prototypes. It walked down the runway amazing and was beautiful, but under their prying eyes they can see the stitches coming unraveled, seams that werent finished, details glued on haphazardly right before the show. It was never real-- never a finished piece, just an illusion.

I have been mulling this idea over in my mind. Parenting has been a challenge for me lately. I feel stretched and empty. I feel like I simplify and still I have twelve hundred things to do at one time. I try to go back to the basics, the things I must complete each day and allow the space and time to get those things done yet the children, through no fault of their own, keep finding ways to stretch me. And this is where I tie in Project Runway. I have times where I feel like those designers. They are working with this limited budget to create something in a short time, to get it done, to make it work, to put on a show. The workroom is a mess. Everyone is at their table doing the best that they can, cutting, sewing, dreaming, believing, doubting. "Is this good enough? Is this right? This is what Im trying to showcase." Last week a designer hovered over his material, doubting if he was ready to commit to the cuts he was about to make. Once he cut the fabric, there was no going back, no changing his mind for a different design; he would be committed to that path. Was he ready to make that choice? As a parent, I relate to those feelings of doubt. That desire to do the best that I can, to make it work. While I do not have a panel of judges watching my parenting and critiquing me, but I do have times where I feel judged, whether I actually am or whether I perceive to be. I relate to taking all of these busy aspects of life and tying them together to make a cohesive look, a finished product, a child that has all of these different elements of myself, my husband, and our life together working inside of him.

Parenting has those moments. The moments where you dont see whats going on backstage or the craziness in the audience-- the cameras, the crew, the people, the noise-- and all you see is the model coming down the runway. Yesterday my husband and I felt like having a movie night. We blew up the air mattress in the family room and snuggled on the couch all day watching Tim Burton movies with the children. We made "mummies" out of hot dogs and crescent rolls. We had popcorn and candy. It was great doing nothing. I wasnt thinking about the laundry that had to be finished before the week started or the sink full of dishes that would need to be done before breakfast the next day. I wasnt thinking about the sour sugar all over our floor or the ketchup stains the baby made on the blankets. We had our moment. It was sublime. Of course it didnt last. The baby got bored and dedicated his time to climbing on the table and knocking over our drinks and popcorn. The older boys started wrestling on the air mattress. My husband fell asleep. I was pinned in a corner of the couch with a baby hitting me with a remote control. We finally pried ourselves off the couch to put an end to the wrestling and finish the dishes, start the laundry, get the boys to clean their toys in the loft. We did pajamas, medicine, dinner, and got the house ready for school and work the next day. The boys ended up having an early bedtime due to meltdowns. Our oldest desperately finished up his Boy Scout project. It was chaos. But when we got in bed that night, my husband and I remembered that moment when we were all on the air mattress watching movies, when our four boys were snuggled up under one blanket, eyes glued to the silly songs, and we had this whole lazy afternoon stretched before us, nowhere to be but here, now.

Lately I feel like Ive been focusing on the chaos. Not the good chaos of parenting, but the bad chaos. The meltdowns, the repeated battles, the same old story day in and day out. I have been letting little things get to me in a big way and I have forgotten about the beauty and magic of parenting. How children can get so much joy from a rainy day (even if they throw a massive fit when it is time to go inside). How fun an air mattress is (even if it ends with a bloody lip and a crying baby). How long weekends are (even if it flies by in a whirlwind and you never make it to the trains, the pumpkin patch, the movies, wherever you wanted to take them that weekend). How sweet sick days can be (even if you still have three other children to take care of plus all the house responsibilities you always have to accomplish). Ive turned away from the moments and been caught up in whats going on backstage. I feel like that lately Ive been trying to make this wow piece-- getting our house on schedule, figuring out how to transition activities without meltdowns, organizing our spaces, working on manners-- but that it is all an illusion because upon closer inspection it is all falling apart. Im stressed doing it. Im not taking the time to enjoy the finished product. Im still thinking about what the garment should look like, what I didnt accomplish, what I intended to do. And parenting is much more about the simple look, the one that upon closer inspection you see those fine details. It may not be a wow piece to anyone else, but you see the effort and you know what went into that moment. When I dropped our 4-year olds off at daycare and they didnt throw a fit-- that was huge for them. When my husband went to work and they trusted that he was coming home that night instead of going underway-- they have been so worried about Daddy leaving again. When the children play quietly in their rooms in the morning instead of running wild-- I have been working so hard with them on that and they are finally getting it. When our oldest packs his lunch each morning for school all by himself, without my help. When one of our boys takes it upon himself to clean his space and tidy up their shared bathroom-- on his own-- because he wants to help. When our boys find a game that includes all of them, even the toddler, and play together upstairs. When our oldest picks a book at school specifically to read to his brothers when he gets home that afternoon, "I really thought they would love this one." These are small but beautiful things. These are the moments of parenting to look at and focus on. Not the times where I dragged them out for an entire day at the doctors office and ended with us all crying in the car on the way home because it was so exhausting. Or the times when strangers felt the need to tell me what a bad job Im doing. The moments I need to focus on are the ones where I see these small and beautiful blessings in our day to day life, when hard moments become slightly easier moments, or when new skills are developed and eventually perfected. When new interests take root and when family moments happen in the middle of normally busy times of day.

I need to focus on the moments of parenting where it all comes together harmoniously, to reflect on them and the feelings I had during them. I need to stop judging myself so harshly on what went into creating those moments and let them stand on their own, because when it all comes together, even briefly, it is beautiful.

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baby losing weight while breastfeeding | Why I have 4 children

baby losing weight while breastfeeding

Im super tired and working on my second latte of the day. Fairly certain the plans I had today (i.e. get dressed) are going to go out the window, so why not just throw in the towel now, curl up on the couch, and write a blog post?

I wrote a post awhile ago called, "Why do I feed our toddlers?" Since we recently moved and Im introducing myself to new people in a desperate attempt to make friends, I have been hearing a lot of comments like, "4 boys! Wow!" and "I dont know how you do it with 4." If you read my last blog post, I dont know how we are doing life right now either, so heres my response:

Why I have 4 children

10. I enjoy mess.

Unless Im picking Play-Doh, Legos, sand, or small rocks off my feet when I walk on our hard floors, Im not happy. Thankfully our children provide me with that lovely experience daily.

9. I enjoy mess.

Lets not leave off the carpeted upstairs. Who likes walking in the dark unless it is a challenge? When I head to bed at night I prefer to trip over action figures, toy bins, and unexpected booby traps.

8. I enjoy mess.

Guests coming over? I only enjoy company when I have that sinking embarrassed feeling when they sheepishly come back out of our hall bathroom moments after entering to tell me, "Um, I think someone may have had an accident on the floor...?"

7. I enjoy mess.

And lets not forget the diaper blow outs. If our potty training preschoolers arent having accidents, I can always count on the baby to blow out his diaper during a dinner party with my spouses co-workers.

6. I enjoy mess.

Detailed vehicles are boring. Who wants to look at beige car carpet? No, life is more adventurous if you are curious if that is barbecue sauce or diaper blow out on the WeatherTech floor mats. When your girlfriend casually says, "How about I ride with you?" I love muttering, "Derp, I promise my Honda Odyssey is usually cleaner than this..." because you know she believes me...

5. I enjoy mess.

Anyone can put an outfit together, but it takes a certain finesse to head out the house wearing a shirt that has a diaper blow out imprint on the hip, oatmeal caked on the front, and someone elses snot dried around the neck.

4. I enjoy mess.

Speaking of heading out of the house, dining out is a much more enjoyable and relaxing experience when at the end of the meal I get to scoop up infinite amounts of mushy food with tiny, thin napkins, flung by children who spent the meal pelting me with silverware while whining that they werent hungry.

(I also like herding said children out of the restaurant as I apologize to fellow patrons to load them up in the mini van as they whine they are now hungry...)

3. I enjoy mess.

But lets not forget the joys of eating in. Who doesnt like cooking a meal with 4 children underfoot, whining they are hungry, hitting each other over whos turn it is to help, and struggling through putting a meal on the table as you finish cooking with one hand/a baby in the carrier on your back? And then no one eats because they dont like whatever it is you cooked... despite the fact that they devoured that exact meal at your friends house the other day.

2. I enjoy mess.

Which brings me to friends... those people that you try to have conversations with as your children pull out every toy bin in their playroom, hit each other on their couch, or divulge how you inadvertently ate baby vomit the other day while you were only wearing underwear. Yes, we would love to do this again sometime.

(Please invite us back, please invite us back, please invite us back...)

1. I enjoy mess.

Nothing says joy of parenthood quite like naked children 10 minutes past when you were supposed to leave the house ("But you were all dressed 2 minutes ago!") or a complete lack of privacy ("Im showering!") or crawling in bed only to find Matchbox cars and plastic spiders (and those same things in your washer and dryer). And the pleasure of these encounters is only multiplied by the uplifting comments you receive when you finally do leave the house for caffeine/adult company ("Back in my day, we disciplined our children/didnt have electronics/respected our elders").

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baby weight loss in first few days | Mommy sick day

baby weight loss in first few days

Sick day? As a stay at home mom? Hahahahahaahahaha!

Weve caught a couple small colds this year, but nothing serious or long until this past weekend. Saturday we all felt fine. Sunday I woke up with a miserable cold. Im not sure how much truth is in this, but I feel like colds hit me hard when Im pregnant. In any case, this one definitely knocked me off my feet. The toddlers just had drippy noses, though we could tell they werent feeling well by how long they slept. Our 5-year old and my hubby, thankfully, still have not shown any symptoms.

Sunday my hubby took our 5-year old to church. They then went to lunch and ran a couple errands we needed done. Afterwards, he dropped our 5-year old off at home and went to school to study for a couple hours. Monday was a regular school day for him. (My hubby is currently going through power school.) And this pregnant, under the weather momma was taking care of a 5-year old and 2-year old twins alone.

Sick days are one of those things that really truly have gotten better as the kids have gotten older. Even back when our oldest was an infant, it is hard taking care of an infant when you dont feel well. They cant do anything for themselves. If they are crawling, they are pulling up on things and falling over or putting themselves in harms way. You have spoon feeding, bottle feeding, constant diaper changing, rocking to sleep, nap schedules, and, Lord forbid the infant gets sick when you do! A fussy infant when you are also sick is so hard to manage. Then we had twins and it became exponentially more difficult. Instead of caring for one infant, we had two. Two infants when you are sick are an extreme juggling act, especially if they come down with it too! You can sometimes do fine taking care of two well babies when they are on the same schedule, but when they are both sick, they both want to be held and they both have needs that can be hard to meet when you are under the weather. On top of that, I was also taking care of a toddler, bouncing around and wanting something to do. I remember many colds where I was sitting on the floor with a box of tissues and two crying babies in my arms while my oldest rolled around on the couch watching movies.

These past two days Ive been home sick with a 5 and a half year old and two 2 and a half year olds. It really has been one of those times when having twins is a major benefit and they entertain each other. Our toddlers spent much of the past two days pushing trains together and playing house in our playroom. Occasionally they would bring out their "babies" for me to ooh and aah over, little stuffed panda bears and dinosaurs cradled in their arms. They would chase each other around our family room and play hide and seek with each other. (Strangely, those types of games arent usually too wild with two two year olds, but as soon as you throw a five year old in there it reaches a whole new level of wild.) I still had to take care of them and change their diapers. However, toddlers dont fly through diapers like infants do, so the diaper changes were less frequent. I left snacks and drinks within their reach and could direct them to the snack pile when they told me they were hungry, "Its on the table, love." They brought me diapers and wipes to change them when they told me they were stinky. If they got too wild, I redirected their play without having to get up from the couch, "Boys, too wild. Can you go find your trains to push?" When they woke up from nap fussy and groggy (they have a mild version of my cold), they came out of their bedrooms and stumbled over to me on the couch for after nap cuddles-- I didnt need to go get them out of cribs and immediately start on diaper changes and getting bottles ready.

As for our 5 and a half year old, he has been awesome. Seriously. I have been singing his praises for the past couple days. I put the art box in the office for him where his Legos and KNex are. He has been making me "get better soon" hearts and cards since I got sick. Yesterday he even made me a paper rose. Ive let him play out front and at the park behind our house. He wears a watch and I tell him what time he needs to check in with me, "When the long black hand is on the 9, you need to come in and check up with Momma." He has religiously come in at the correct times. I do believe he feels he is coming in to check on me and not check in with me as every time he enters the house he quietly comes in the family room with a, "How are you feeling, Momma?" and lays his hand on my forehead. He can make sandwiches for himself and for his brothers, as well as get tangerines and such from the fridge and peel them for all 3 of them. He has brought me blankets, pillows, Kleenex, water... All with the sweetest attitude. He is so excited we have another baby on the way and I think he has been practicing his caretaking skills. I woke up from a short nap on the couch to find him rubbing my feet. When he saw I was awake, he said, "Hey, Momma! Im trying to help make you feel better" He has played with his brothers, watched movies with me, played outside when he felt cooped up, and spent a lot of time building and drawing in the office.

Those have been the easy times, the things-went-perfectly times. Of course over the past two days weve had crazy times. Sunday night a little before my hubby came home, I started feeling so overwhelmed. With a pounding head and 3 kids running around wrestling and misbehaving, I didnt know how we would get through the rest of the evening. I wanted to curl up in bed with a box of tissues and some Vicks, not patrol toddlers who kept jumping on the couch. I felt too tired to talk, let alone get the boys ready for bed. Yesterday one of the toddlers fell down and bumped his knee. I came in the playroom to see if he was okay only to discover that instead of playing quietly with their cars and trains, the toddlers had dumped all of our board games out of their boxes into a pile on the floor, including 3 of our 5-year olds puzzles. Oh, I felt so deflated. It was time for their nap anyway; after tucking them in, I sat on the playroom floor with a pounding head, running nose, and started sorting through all our game pieces. Sunday afternoon while my hubby was out with our 5-year old, I heard a stool scraping on the kitchen floor. I told the toddlers to come on out of the kitchen and got the reply, "One minute!" Suspicious, I walked in the kitchen to find them with a box of markers and one of my Lennox bowls, pilfered off the counter. Theyve all 3 been bored at times over the past 2 days, Momma too sick and tired to plan anything during the day. They come whining over to the couch, "Moooooomma.... I want to cuddle...." which really means they want to crawl under the blanket with me and start using it as a play fort, wiggling and squirming and starting tickle fights. Silly when I am well, uncomfortable (and irritating) when Im sick and 18-weeks pregnant. And over the past 2 days we have found so many tissues shredded by our dog, no matter how hard I try to pick them up.

Thankfully today Im feeling better. Still congested, still a little groggy, but much, much better. Our 5-year old let out a cheer when he saw me come in the kitchen this morning and eat a big breakfast. "Are you feeling better, Momma? Yay!!" Even more exciting, the Navy has given my husband 2 days off due to the weather advisory, so Ill have lots of help today. There has been a festive air in our house all morning with Momma feeling better and Daddy home to eat breakfast with us.

Here are some of my tips when home sick:

• Dont do any unnecessary household chores. If you dont have to do it, dont do it. Wait until you feel better.
  I did no dishes yesterday. When my husband came home, he cleaned up the kitchen, which was fabulous. However, if he hadnt have done the dishes last night, I would do them today when I had my energy up. Laundry... shudder. Ill be catching up on that today too.
• Snacks, snacks, snacks, snacks, and sandwiches.
  Perhaps my children have been carb loading for the past 2 days, but go for easy food. I kenneled the dog and put a small supply of snacks within their reach. No, I do not normally give them snacks-- firm believer in mealtimes as a family-- and, no, they are not normally allowed to eat anywhere except the kitchen table. However, it was so nice not to have to get up and make food all day. I tried to give them foods that werent too messy: sliced apples, granola bars, bananas, tangerines, slices of bread, etc.
• Put water within their reach.
  Again, not normally something I am big on. I do not like our toddlers to have unrestricted access to something that will make a mess (or ruin our household electronics). Since our 5-year old can reach the kids cups and fill his own cup, I only put water out for our toddlers. I filled two water bottles up and set them on a coffee table within eye sight of the couch. That way I could see the water bottles and keep an eye on them while drinking them. When I got up to fill my own water, I checked to make sure they had water, that way I wouldnt hear, "Momma, more water!" after I was all settled in to my couch nest.
• Close off areas of the house.
  While they may have "free reign" of the house while you are stuck on the couch, they dont need access to the whole house. I even locked several of the doors of the house that I didnt want them in, including some of the bathrooms that our toddlers could make a mess in (no, thank you to toothpaste squeezed all over the bathroom!). I also closed off the master bedroom, the laundry room, and our guest room.
• Find what is entertaining and bend the rules.
  I dont like the television on all day. And I dont like the boys to be able to reach crayons whenever they want to. And I dont like our family room littered with toys (thats what the playroom is for!). But the past couple days, we watched kids movies and shows in the morning; I watched my shows in the afternoon during nap/quiet time. I put crayons on the kitchen table for our toddlers and the art box in the office for our 5-year old. I let the boys play in the hallway to the guest room and push trucks all over the house. Yes, we keep sitting on Legos in our couch cushions, but they all played and we all made it through the cold. I received a lot of artwork the past couple days since they could reach crayons and paper whenever they wanted too-- mostly "get well soon" cards and that really helped me feel better. :)
• Try to take care of yourself.
  Man, there have been many colds that I powered through and tried to do business as usual. The colds dragged; I was exhausted at the end of the day and for more days. Something about being pregnant helped me be a little more selfish, rest more, drink more water, put things off that really didnt actually need to get done (ahem, laundry). I took short naps when the boys were watching a movie and slept when the toddlers napped, having my 5-year old go play quietly in the office or sitting in the family room with his picture books. I told the boys that I wasnt feeling well and needed to rest when they pleaded with me take out Play doh (a hands on activity when you have two year old twins). Thankfully our fridge is stocked as I recently went grocery shopping, so I didnt feel bad about not cooking meals; we had plenty of supplies for sandwiches and pasta. (Plus our fabulous neighbors brought us over tons of food when they found out I was sick-- THANK YOU!)

Best of luck to all you sick mommas out there. Hope you feel better soon!

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baby losing weight in first 2 weeks | Disney World with young children

baby losing weight in first 2 weeks

Magic Kingdom

Large party and our accommodations

 

We are back from our week in Disney World! My husband is in power school and unable to get time off, so I went without him to Disney World 16-weeks pregnant with our 5-year old and 2.5-year old twins, my parents, my 83-year old grandmother, my youngest sister, and my middle sister with her family (husband and 1.5-year old daughter). All in all, we had 11 people including 3 strollers (my 2.5-year old twins and my sisters 1.5-year old daughter) and 1 wheelchair (for our 83-year old grandmother). We stayed in my parents timeshare, which ended up being fabulous: a 4 bedroom, 2000 square foot Presidential suite with a view of the fireworks in the Magic Kingdom and Epcot. I really cannot say enough fabulous things about our living arrangements that week. My middle sister and her husband had one master bedroom; their 1.5-year old daughter slept in a large hall bathroom in her PackNPlay. My 2.5-year old twins shared a bedroom. My parents slept in the other master bedroom. Granny, my 5-year old, my youngest sister, and I shared the last bedroom. I was going to put my 5-year old in the same room as his brothers, but he prefers to sleep with Granny, his favorite person in the whole wide world! :)

I had all 3 of my boys wear matching shirts each day we were in Disney World. Read my blog post: "Make your own Disney shirts."

Shuttle versus parking?

We thought before we came down to Disney World that we would take the resorts shuttle in to the park each day. However, the shuttle turned out to cost $6 a person plus we had to make a reservation an hour in advance (the timeshare is not a Disney resort). We then decided to drive our vehicles and park each day instead. Parking cost $15 a vehicle each day ($30 a day to park both our vehicles compared to $66 a day on the shuttle with the hassle of making the reservation and waiting for the shuttle). Disney World is very spread out; everything is not close together like Disneyland, so driving worked out just fine. The parking lots are laid out so that you dont have to take the tram in; you can walk from every park entrance to anywhere in the parking lot. We walked from the park to our car at Animal Kingdom, Magic Kingdom, and Epcot. We had parked a fair distance away from the entrance to Hollywood Studios and so we did ride the tram both ways at that park.

Strollers and a wheelchair?

With 3 strollers, a wheelchair, and 11 people total in our party, it was important to be efficient-- loading and unloading at the tram (including folding all 3 strollers and the wheelchair) or parking the strollers outside rides and restaurants. My middle sister with the 1.5-year old daughter wore a backpack that had everything she needed in it: money, diapers, etc. I believe underneath her stroller was mostly empty. Im not sure she kept anything in her stroller besides drinks and such (she has a Baby Jogger City Mini). I used two umbrella strollers at the park. I wore a small backpack that was mostly empty, a small wallet with my debit card and IDs and various things I threw in there throughout the day (purchases, a bottle of water for the boys, etc). I hung their diaper bag on the back of one of the strollers and left that there when we went on rides. When I went into a restaurant and left the strollers outside, I grabbed 2 diapers and the wipes out of my diaper bag. On the back of the wheelchair we hung a drawstring bag, a lot like this: Minnie Mouse drawstring bag. We kept bottles of water and granola bars in that. We made sure to refill the water and granola bars each day.

Read my blog post "Strollers in Disney" for more information on taking toddler twins to Disney World.

Disney tip: use stickers, luggage tags, or ribbon to help mark your stroller or wheelchair. The strollers and wheelchairs must be parked in designated stroller or wheelchair parking or they will be moved to the nearest stroller/wheelchair parking by a cast member. When parked in these areas, you would be surprised at how many people have your stroller and how all the rental wheelchairs look alike! The ribbons on the back of our wheelchair really helped us find our wheelchair quickly and the stickers on the back of our strollers really helped when finding our strollers as well.

FastPass+?

While we were there we encountered two new things: FastPass+ and the Disney Marathon. First, FastPass+. Since we were not staying in a Disney resort, we did not have FastPass+ each day at the Magic Kingdom or at Epcot; we only got to use FastPass+ there on certain days that they were testing it. Animal Kingdom had FastPass+ each day and I honestly dont remember if Hollywood Studios had FastPass+ or not; we only got FastPasses there for Toy Story Mania! The difference between FastPasses and FastPass+ is huge. When you get a FastPass, you have to walk to the ride and get a FastPass for the time available; the FastPass station will say the time above the station and you can choose to get a FastPass for there or not. For instance, you could walk to the Haunted Mansion and see the time "1:30-2:30" and either decide to get the FastPass or not, but you couldnt get one for a later or earlier time. On the bottom of the FastPass it would tell you the time that you could get another FastPass, usually an hour before the time on your FastPass, so it would be about 12:30 in our scenario. For FastPass+ you can get up to 3 FastPasses at the same time and you go to a FastPass+ station anywhere in the park. On one of our days at the Magic Kingdom, there was a man at the monorail station-- before you even entered the park-- with a FastPass+ sign who gave us FastPasses. We had lunch plans and so we got FastPasses for Enchanted Tales with Belle at 9:45, immediately after we entered the park, and FastPasses for Big Thunder and Peter Pan in the afternoon, after we ate lunch. When my sister, who was working out all our FastPasses, told us what time she got the Big Thunder FastPasses for, my mom and I felt she should have gotten them a little later, so she asked the man to change them, which he did. I loved that we could change times and choose times with FastPass+.

Disney tip: when figuring out which FastPasses you want to get, Toy Story Mania! at Hollywood Studios and Peter Pan in Magic Kingdom run out of FastPasses early. Try to get those FastPasses as soon as you get to those parks.

Disney Marathon?

As for the Disney Marathon, we just happened to book our Disney World vacation during the time the marathon was going on. While all the Disney books and websites say "DO NOT GO TO DISNEY WORLD ON MARATHON WEEKEND," we actually didnt have many issues with the marathon. We went to Hollywood Studios the first day (Saturday, the day of the half marathon) and had no crowds or traffic. The second day (Sunday, the day of the full marathon) we went to Animal Kingdom. We had no traffic getting to the park and Animal Kingdom was not busy. The only encounter we had of the marathon was entering the Animal Kingdom. The marathon route went right in front of the park entrance and so when we got off the tram from the parking lot, we had to wait to be flagged through the marathon course. On the way out of the park, we just walked to our car and the marathon was over so we didnt even have to wait to cross. It all worked out just fine. However, we tried to go to Shades of Green Saturday morning to buy discounted military tickets and the traffic over there was horrible, so we gave up and just went to Hollywood Studios and bought tickets at the gate. It worked out very well to go to our resort concierge and find out where the marathon route was and where we should go.

Exploring the Shades of Green resort

Military park tickets

 

To buy discounted military tickets at Disney World, you must go to Shades of Green. The military tickets are not for sale at the gate of the Disney parks; they will tell you to go to Shades of Green. To find the military prices, go to the Shades of Green website http://www.shadesofgreen.org/index.html, hover your mouse over "Attraction tickets" and then click on "Walt Disney World." The first thing you will see on that page is the advertisement for $169 Four Day Military Appreciation Park Hopper ticket. These tickets are for sale at your local ITT office and you should buy these in advance. Your ITT office can run out of these tickets. Each military family can buy up to 6 of these tickets in a calendar year. When you buy these tickets, you are given a voucher that you activate at the gate of the Disney parks (you do not go to Shades of Green to do this). Disney will give you your 4 day park hopper tickets at the gate and the military member or dependent must be present to activate the tickets; DoD is not eligible to buy or activate these tickets. Shades of Green does sell discounted military tickets that you can buy even if you have bought 6 of the Military Appreciation tickets. To find the prices for those tickets, look under option 2 on the "Walt Disney World" tickets page and select what is applicable to you. Since we were not staying at a Disney resort, we selected "I will not be staying at Shades of Green or another WDW resort hotel" and compared ticket prices for us there. It is also important to keep in mind that children under 3-years old have FREE park entry, so our 3 toddlers, my 2.5-year old twins and my sisters 1.5-year old daughter, were free.

Side note on Shades of Green, it was a really nice resort! If we did not have access to my parents timeshare, we would have stayed at Shades of Green.

My Disney Experience app 

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This app was amazing. Before you go, you must download this on your smartphone. My sister made lunch reservations for us at Epcot one night while we were out to dinner at House of Blues. While we were waiting in line on one ride, we would use the app to figure out which ride we wanted to go on next. We did go to Disney World in January so the lines were short, but we used the app to make sure we were never standing in line for more than 25 minutes with our large party full of young children.

Disney tip: the line times are always slightly exaggerated. Most of the time when a line said 25 minutes, it took us 15-20 minutes to get through. 10 minute lines usually took about 5 minutes and a 5 minute line usually meant we could just walk on.

Hollywood Studios

Hollywood Studios

 

Our first day in the park was spent at Hollywood Studios. We had a lunch reservation at the 50s Prime Time Café, which ended up working out great due to the marathon. While my dad and brother-in-law went to ride Tower of Terror, we took the kids to the Honey, I Shrunk the Kids Movie Set Adventure. They played there for a long time, all the way up to our lunch reservation. When we first entered the park shortly after it opened, we made a beeline to the Toy Story Mania! ride to get FastPasses. I was surprised that early in the day it had a 60 minute wait and the FastPass time was all the way at 6:30-7:30 pm. We go the FastPasses and our party broke up. I didnt feel there was much for our toddlers to do in Hollywood Studios, though I think our 5-year old would have enjoyed it a bit more. He didnt really get a chance to though because he spent the whole morning playing with us at the Honey, I Shrunk the Kids Movie Set Adventure. They all had a lot of fun there. Lunch at the Prime Time Café was really good. If you go, say hi to Cousin Joey for us; he was our waiter and very funny. Before lunch, I ordered the boys Mouse ear hats with their names embroidered on the back. My dad and brother-in-law picked them up for us later. When we took the boys back to nap, they stayed and rode the RockNRoller Coaster.

Digging in the Boneyard at Animal Kingdom

Animal Kingdom

 

Our second day was spent at Animal Kingdom. This park was very exciting for the boys to look at. We really started spotting characters here. On our way to Dinoland, we spotted a Meet and Greet with Winnie the Pooh and Tigger. We just walked down and the boys were star struck. This was the first character encounter for the toddlers and they werent quite sure what to do. They were very excited to meet Winnie the Pooh and Tigger, but didnt want to hug them. Our 5-year old had his little autograph book out and took his picture with them. After that, we went to The Boneyard in Dinoland. All of our boys loved this, even my dad! After playing for a bit, my mom and I took the toddlers to a play area across from the Boneyard. The play area was really nice, but very hard to navigate with 3 toddlers. There were lots of stairs and slides that they needed assistance with. I felt this play area was geared more toward the older kids (our 5-year old loved it) while the play area in Hollywood Studios was perfect for all the ages of kids we had with us. In Dinoland, our 5-year old rode DINOSAUR and Primeval Whirl. We all went to Its Tough to be a Bug; it terrified the toddlers and made our 5-year old nervous. We left with clingy crying children wondering if we should have skipped it. :) The Kilimanjaro Safari was a huge hit with everyone; the kids absolutely loved it and were all talking about it well after it was over. I was really surprised when my 5-year old insisted he wanted to ride Expedition Everest (even though he had already ridden the Primeval Whirl and DINOSAUR and loved them both), but he was adamant. So I let him ride. He went on it twice and loved it! When we were trying to leave the park, we got cut off by Mickeys Jammin Jungle Parade.? I was glad we were! The boys loved the parade, especially when the animals leaned over and stuck their tongues out or a character came over for a high five. We all wanted to come back and spend more time at the Animal Kingdom. We didnt get to do everything that we wanted to-- there was a lot we didnt explore-- but the Magic Kingdom was by far the biggest hit with our children and so we spent our last "extra day" there instead of coming back here. I really wish we could have explored Discovery Island, but our toddlers were in desperate need of a nap!

Outside The Seas with Nemo at Epcot

 

Epcot

 

We spent our fifth day at Epcot. Epcot was not very popular with our 3 toddlers, though our 5-year old had a good time there. All of the adults in our group said that even though our 5-year old was having a great time, it would have been even more fun to go at an adult pace and really get to explore the different shops and shows instead of going at a preschoolers pace. My sister and her husband actually got to go back and spend the evening there, just the two of them. We were all jealous to hear they found an adorable shop in Japan that sold Totoro stuff. One of the toddlers basically started melting down the minute we walked into the park. We made our way over to The Seas with Nemo and Friends, which was an adorable ride. We did Turtle Talk with Crush afterwards and it was a big hit with my 2.5-year olds, but not so much with my sisters 1.5-year old. She seemed to get bored or antsy during the show. I sat out of Soarin with my toddlers, even though my mom offered to sit with them so I could go. They were having epic meltdowns by this point and I was feeling pretty tired keeping them happy in the stroller. Thankfully we had a lunch reservation at Akershus Royal Banquet Hall set up so I was able to tell the boys that we were on our way to get food, which seemed to cheer them up. My sisters and I really wanted a character dining with princesses, so we were really looking forward to this lunch. We were all surprised with how much my boys liked it, especially the toddlers! One of my toddlers gave Aurora the biggest hug and kiss; we thought he would never let go. It was very cute, plus the food was delicious. (Im not sure my 5-year old cared for his meatballs though.) After lunch we were able to just walk on Maelstrom, which was right outside of Akershus Royal Banquet Hall. I have to say, the children liked the boat ride, but all the adults were very confused. I then left with my mom and sisters to get the toddlers down to nap. My dad, brother-in-law, and grandmother stayed to explore some more with my 5-year old. I know they went on Captain EO, the Test Track (I dont think Granny rode this), and Mission: Space. They also rode the Gran Fiesta Tour in Mexico; apparently this boat ride was much less confusing and enjoyable than the one I rode in Norway. Epcot made me wish I had brought our baby-sitter with us. I really (really, really, really) wanted to browse through the Disney art stores and wander through the countries.

Brunch at the Crystal Palace in the Magic Kingdom

 

Magic Kingdom

 

Magic Kingdom was a hit with our entire party. As west coasters, we grew up going to Disneyland and Magic Kingdom was most reminiscent of the happiest place on earth. With a large party, there was also the most to do here for everyone, including a pregnant woman (me), 3 toddlers, and adults. I even think Granny had the most fun here, though she liked exploring Epcot with my 5-year old (her little man, her first great-grandchild). We spent our third, fourth, and sixth day at Magic Kingdom, 3 days total. My 5-year olds favorite rides were Big Thunder, Space Mountain, and the Tomorrowland Speedway. My 2.5-year old twins favorite rides were: Buzz Lightyears Space Ranger Spin (though they didnt really shoot the guns), Its a Small World, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, Peter Pans Flight, and Under the Sea. All of the boys loved dining in the Hundred Acre Wood at the Crystal Palace on Main Street. I absolutely loved Be Our Guest (we went for their quick lunch, not being able to get a dinner reservation), Enchanted Tales with Belle, and taking the boys to the Tiki Room. Obviously my favorite princess is Belle. :) Our other family favorites are Pirates of the Caribbean, Haunted Mansion, Dumbo, and the Jungle Cruise. One thing I liked better at Disney World than Disneyland is Belles village in Fantasyland; I loved it. There is a whole Beauty and the Beast shop by the Gaston fountain. It was also nice to ride the PeopleMovers again, as they have been long closed in Disneyland. However, the Railroad and the Swiss Family Treehouse (now Tarzans Treehouse in Disneyland) are much better in Disneyland. The other really fun experiences we had were the Captain Jack Sparrows Pirate Tutorial (my 5-year old is still talking about it) and the Main Street Electrical Light Parade. It was so worth staying in the park late for the kids to get to watch the Main Street Electrical Light Parade; it is such a fun parade. Instead of battling the crowds to leave the park afterwards, we headed to Pirates of the Caribbean and walked right on the ride-- no line-- before heading out.

Disney tip: the quick lunch line at Be Our Guest moves much faster than you would think. When we stood in line, we were told 30 minutes and it took about 20 minutes. They open for lunch at 11:00 am, but you can start standing in line at 10:30 am. Make sure you look at the menu while waiting in line because you order before you are seated.

 

Napping in the Magic Kingdom

 

Toddlers and naps

 

Napping while at Disney World was a play it by ear kinda thing with us. I originally planned on heading back to our timeshare everyday at naptime, no matter what. Sometimes it just didnt work out that way. Our first day at Hollywood Studios did. The day at Animal Kingdom did not. Most of our days at Magic Kingdom didnt. On Monday, when we were at Magic Kingdom from 9 am to almost 9 pm for the Main Street Electrical Light Parade, all 3 of our toddlers actually napped in their strollers. My mom sat with them all while the rest of us rode the Jungle Cruise. The Epcot day we had to leave right after lunch to put the toddlers down to nap because they were behaving so badly. We had a lot of long days. We had to have a lot of patience with the toddlers. A tired toddler doesnt want to get off his favorite ride and one of my toddlers absolutely lost it when we got off Winnie the Pooh. But it was so fun. They loved riding Small World. They loved meeting the princesses and Mickey. They loved the Electrical Light Parade. This definitely is not how we do things at home. I dont normally carry bags of granola bars to bribe our kids with while waiting in line for things. We just tried to be calm, relaxed, be patient, be understanding, be prepared (crayons, snacks, plenty of water on hand), and go with the flow.

 

My family can tell you, I was very nervous when heading out on this Disney vacation, especially since my husband wasnt coming. I felt that I would be pregnant and tired and have 3 over-stimulated worn out boys on my hands. Instead, my family was amazingly helpful. Our timeshare arrangement worked out perfectly (so nice to be able to put them in a room and close the door during naptime). I thought I would just end up missing out on all the stuff I wanted to do (yes, I love Disney). Instead, I had a great time. There were rough moments (ahem, Epcot). There were tiring days (the walk back to the car 16-weeks pregnant after spending almost 12 hours in the Magic Kingdom with 3 strollers, 1 wheelchair, and a party of 11 felt like a long, long walk). But parenting is a leap of faith, an adventure, a ginormous why not? You never know until you try and this time was one of those times that I was beyond thrilled that I had taken the risk (okay, that my mother and husband talked me into it) and that I had an adventurous attitude. So a huge thank you to my family for being so wonderful. You were so supportive and understanding the whole week. You really helped me out and I had so much fun with you. Thank you to my husband for listening to my nighttime worries the week leading up to the trip and to my friends who offered all their advice and Disney tips before we went.

 

All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.
-Walt Disney?

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pregnancy weight loss delivery | HANDLING PROBING QUESTIONS ABOUT HAVING CHILDREN

pregnancy weight loss delivery

Infertility, people dont always assume youre going through it, especially if youre over 40

Oh, I remember as if it were yesterday...we were with my husbands sister and her family at an event. They had also invited other friends and, of course, it was a family oriented extravaganza.

There I was, minding my own business, waiting for the show to start and one of the other people there says...
"I bet you guys have a bunch of kids right?”
 Silence.
 “Uh no, actually we dont have any”....more silence....”Um how many do you have? “Four”. 

“Oh”. 
I dont know why that blindsided me, but it did. After that experience we went to most events by ourselves and I made a mental note to come up with a “canned” response to the “do you have children” question.

Be prepared for the "when are you going to have a baby" or "do you have children" question

Preparation is really the key to getting through tough situations. I found the worst part of any encounter of this nature was being unprepared. I know the last thing people want is to make you feel bad, and even now, after everything Ive gone through, I frequently ask people if they have kids...I dont automatically assume that theyre struggling with infertility.  I have even asked if theyre planning on having a baby.

The fertile world doesnt know how you feel and you are hypersensitive right now

You have to remember you are hypersensitive right now and people in the fertile world just don’t know how it feels just as you may not understand certain aspects of their life.

You are probably feeling angry and frustrated and it’s hard not to transfer that on to others. If you say something rude or nasty to someone who makes a comment that hurts you, you will probably feel worse about yourself later which will add to your stress.  I know the feeling of being on the edge of saying something I would regret later.

Responses to the having a baby or child question

First let me tell you my response to the “having children” question:
 “We got married later in life and by the time we really considered it, we felt we were on a different path.”
Yes, I lied and a little white lie now and then is OK. The reason I gave this response is it seemed any other response would give people more information than I wanted to share. I really didn’t want people to know I was trying to get pregnant because I was so sensitive about my age. I also found this response stopped this line of questioning dead in its tracks. If you do get pregnant and you see these people again, you can say, “what a pleasant surprise!” and you won’t be lying!

Other responses I’ve heard include:
We’re trying
 Not yet
 Someday
We can’t
 Apparently not!
We’re very blessed with what we have
Babies seem to come when they’re good and ready
 When we decide (or when we do), you’ll be the first to know!

SEE ALSO: SHARING INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR INFERTILITY (getpregnantover40.com)

If you share information about your struggle with infertility, others will know what questions not to ask, thereby avoiding uncomfortable situations. They will hopefully be more sensitive to your needs and they will be less likely to hurt your feelings with needless “kiddie” talk. This also gives you the opportunity to talk freely about your feelings and release some of your stress which can ultimately help you relax. The downside of telling others is they may purposefully avoid talking with you about certain subjects which can leave you feeling isolated and like somewhat of an outcast. To me, there would be nothing worse than finding out a mutual acquaintance is pregnant and then find out everyone was trying to keep it from me. Only you can decide the right way to handle this dilemma for yourself, but my best advice is to plan it out ahead of time so youre prepared when the question arise.

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baby weight loss in first week uk | Four boys!

baby weight loss in first week uk

Well, we found out yesterday that Baby #4 will be our FOURTH boy. Four boys. 1, 2, 3, 4 boys.

12 week ultrasound

Do I sound shocked? Im a little shocked.

I think everyone knows we were "going for that girl," as we hear from everyone. But we really were going for that girl, so the boy news was a bit of a shock. According to this article, "The Odds of Having Another Boy or Girl," we had a 43.6% chance of having a girl after already having 3 boys, though Im not sure if we really count as having "3 boys" since 2 of them are identical twin boys-- 2 boys from one pregnancy where the egg split (read "Identical or fraternal [revised]"). If we go off of 2 boys, our odds go up slightly to 47.7% chance of having a girl. Yet here I am, pregnant with boy #4.

We have the growth ultrasound just after 20 weeks, however, Im fairly certain they will only confirm it is a boy. While Im only 17 weeks now, we had an experienced sonographer determine the gender and she definitely captured "the money shot," if you will.

Why has this been hard for me to swallow? Am I excited that we are having our fourth baby? Lord knows I am, not just because of all we have been through (read "Baby #4 {14 weeks pregnant}"). I love this baby. I feel my eyes well with tears of joy and love when I hear his little heartbeat. I suppose what has been harder for me to accept is that I will not birth our daughter. This is our last pregnancy, our last baby, our last time to go through all of this. And I guess I really expected to have a daughter. Im so close to my mother and my sisters and I wanted that relationship. I wont be struggling with a toddler who wont keep bows in her hair. I wont be splurging on yet another dress or yet another Barbie. I wont be wrangling an infant into warmer winter tights or trying to keep our baby girl from crawling on her Sunday dress as she makes her way around our living room. I wont be buying her matching Crew Cuts outfits when I shop at J Crew. I wont have the relationship with her that I have with my mom now as an adult. I feel like I cherish that relationship so much and I really wanted that-- really wanted that.

So, as one of my best friends said, a fellow mother to all boys, Im going to be a fabulous mother-in-law. Im going to love on my niece (and maybe in my old age she will take care of me! lol!). As my husband said last night, we are going to have a band of brothers moving around the country together as we move with the military. They will always have each other, always have a brother to lean on, always have a best friend to be there when we make our way to our next duty station. Plus, this baby already has a wardrobe from birth to 5-years old. :) Most important, as my husband said, we love our boys. We love being parents to these precious people God has given us. From the minute our oldest was born, I was in love. I love seeing the world from his eyes. I love that he has brothers to depend on, like I have my sisters. I love these two 2-year olds that we have been blessed with. Seeing these two toddlers interact on a peer level is endlessly entertaining. Few things are sweeter than listening to a conversation between two two-year olds. All 3 of these boys are wrapped around my heart and I love each day I have with them. I know when this next baby arrives, he is going to be loved on (probably more than he wants to be!) by his older brothers. I love listening to the boys talk to my tummy. Our 5-year old says prayers with my tummy-- his baby, he likes to say-- almost every night. Parents to siblings know that your heart fills with pride and joy when you see your children loving on each other.

God knows that I always pictured myself as a mother to a house full of girls (Im crazy about Jane Austen novels). Turns out God has pictured me as a mother to boys. Im trusting him on this one since I know he has a plan for us!

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