Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts

Friday, March 25, 2016

extreme weight loss during pregnancy | Potty training twins part 1 No plan

extreme weight loss during pregnancy


As a mother to three children with another on the way, I know the importance of planning. As a mother of twins, I know the importance of planning. And now, as a mother to children growing more and more independent each day, Im learning the importance of going with the flow, trying things out, and seeing where life takes us-- essentially, throwing out the plan and flying by the seat of our pants.

We have already potty trained one child. I wrote three blog posts about the experience:
  • Try to see it my way
  • Why not?
  • Follow-up on potty training
With him, he really didnt want to potty train. He liked diapers and was fine with how things were going. As his parents, we were the ones ready to be done with diapers. If you read the blog posts on potty training D, you know that he was ready to potty train and capable to do so. The thing that I liked about potty training him was that he was ready and so when we finally did it, we were able to do days, nights, naptime, out and about... It all just feel into place.

As for potty training our 2.5-year old twin toddlers, I came up with a plan. I wanted to wait until they were the same age our oldest was when we potty trained him, a couple months past 3 years old. I did have other reasons for wanting to wait as well, such as their vocabulary and their maturity level. (Read my blog post "Potty training 2.5 year old twin boys?")

My plan has gone out the window! One of our twin toddlers, C, decided that he wanted to potty train. He even said that, "I want potty train now." {Face palm.} I put it off. We played along with his desire to use the potty, feeling like it was helping him understand the concept of eventually potty training. He wanted his diaper changed after each time he tinkled. He would tell us before he would poop, after he pooped, waddle to the diaper changing basket, pull out a clean diaper and wipes, and demand we promptly changed him. Sometimes he would tell us before he would poop or pee and demand to use the potty. I was doing everything I could to prevent him from potty training. What changed my mind?

A couple weeks ago the toddlers vocabulary and communication skills leaped forward. It felt like one week we were totally frustrated that they wouldnt use their words to communicate-- depending on temper tantrums to express themselves-- and a week later they were chatting with us about their day. C started expressing more and more his desire to potty train-- which I listened to-- but what really convinced me to let him try was when I started being able to negotiate and reason with him. One morning we were rushing out of the house. The toddlers were feeling hurried and stressed as I searched for shoes and dressed them quickly. C started screaming and flailing when I attempted to strap him into his car seat. I took him out of the seat and stood him in the driveway next to our van and began to reason with him. He listened! We came to an agreement and I was able to peacefully strap him his car seat. That conversation was the turning point for me. I realized that if I could explain to him why I needed him to buckle up, I could explain to him the fundamentals of potty training.

I made the decision to make a new plan for potty training: No Plan.

This past Thursday, we had an afternoon at home. I put both the toddlers in underwear and explained to them that they cannot go potty in their underwear; they must use the toilet. They agreed. C was beaming; he was so thrilled to finally be in underwear! I remembered how well the timer system worked with their older brother so I set the timer on the microwave. The timer works great for two reasons:

1. it isnt you harassing your child every couple minutes, "Do you have to go potty? Hey, do you have to go potty? Love, do you need to go potty?"
2. it puts them in charge, "Momma! The timer went off! Time to go potty!"

I figured that when the timer went off, we would all trudge into the bathroom and try to go potty. It didnt work well.

For C, our toddler who wants to potty train, he felt too much pressure. He wanted to go potty. When I brought him in the bathroom at intervals, he felt like I was telling him that he had to go then. He would try and try and when he couldnt produce even a drop, he would look so sad and disappointed. He didnt throw a fit or burst into tears; he would just look up at me with big eyes brimming with tears, "Momma! I no have to go!"

For O, our toddler who we only put in underwear because we were letting his twin brother attempt to potty train, it was boring. It became a game: do not use the bathroom when the timer goes off. He would run and hide when he heard the timer, or, worse, try to be the first to the bathroom so he could attack the toothpaste tubes before I got in there (as a rule, none of our boys are allowed to loiter in the bathroom when their business in there is done). Every time he stood in front of the toilet, he said he did not have to go. He did hold it for an impressively long time Thursday afternoon. It all blew up in our face though. By Thursday evening, he had a series of accidents, the first standing in front of the toilet and the next 3 anywhere that he wanted to in our house, all after denying the need to go in the first place, "No have to go, Momma. No need potty, Momma. No baf-room, Momma!" My poor husband had his hands full with O that night. Graciously, he allowed O to keep trying and let him put on underwear again and again, patiently explaining the process after each "accident" (in quotes because that child had no intention of ever using the toilet that day). After 3 accidents in a row though, even my optimistic husband couldnt justify putting O in underwear again and O was put back into a diaper. When O finally crinkled back to the table wearing a diaper, both his brothers looked at him. Finally D, their older brother, said, "Uh-oh. O isnt potty training anymore?" O didnt seem to mind; he acted almost relieved that he was no longer part of the potty training charade.

Thursday night, our first day potty training, my husband and I discussed how things were going and how we wanted to proceed. We came to the decision that we would continue potty training C and we would keep O in diapers. That is how we arrived at potty training one of our 2.5-year old twins and the other toddler is remaining in diapers. Im in no hurry to push O because I dont think hes ready. While his vocabulary has grown, he doesnt communicate or negotiate as much as C does. Im not saying that he wont or that I feel he is somehow delayed or that C is advanced; I just dont think hes ready to potty train. If he was not a twin and his identical twin brother wasnt potty training at the moment, I wouldnt even consider potty training him. And that is how Im going to treat them: like individuals. Just because one twin is doing something doesnt mean that the other must. Just because one twin is ready to potty train now, doesnt mean there is something wrong with the twin not potty training. We have been very careful around here not to use language that is comparing them. "O, do you see what C is doing? Do you want to potty train too?" While my husband and I have discussed that seeing his 2 brothers in underwear could possibly motivate him to potty train sooner than later (never underestimate the power of monkey see/monkey do), we havent vocalized this to the boys. Our 5-year old has asked a couple times, "Why is C potty training and not O?" And our answer is, "Because C wants to potty train right now and O doesnt, which is okay."

So how have been managing this? Yes, it gets chaotic having two toddlers in the bathroom. Just because O isnt potty training and their older brother D has been potty trained for 2.5 years now, doesnt mean when C has to go potty that it is just me and him in there. Nope, all the boys make their way into the bathroom. This stressed me out at first. There was just too much going on in there until I realized that when we go out of the house, this is how it will be. Now I dont stress about them being in the bathroom. They need to leave C alone while he goes potty. No toys are allowed in the bathroom (not that we ever really allow toys in the bathroom, but when 2 boys follow their brother into the bathroom, they have a tendency to want to drag the house in there with us). I do allow O to be curious in there. While we are not pushing to potty train him, I dont want him to feel that the toilet is off-limits for him. I allow him to watch and ask questions. However, we have rules in the bathroom. While I know how clean our toilets are at home, we arent sure how clean public bathrooms are. We dont allow any of the boys to touch the toilet (well, more than necessary-- toddlers and toilets are just a bad combination in general). We believe in teaching them bathroom etiquette at home that can be applied out in public. I have our oldest stand like a gentleman if he wants to come in the bathroom with us while Im potty training C. If O wants to watch as well, I usually have him sit on one of the bathroom stools or stand with D. I do not let D and O rough house while standing in the bathroom with us (yup, siblings have a gift for constantly messing with each other, "Im not touching you... Im not touching you... Im not touching you..."). We have bathroom rules and we are strict in enforcing them. If they dont follow the rules, they have to leave the room.

Potty training, no matter how eager the child, requires spending a lot of time in the bathroom. We learned a long time ago that we need a chair in the boys bathroom. Ive spent a lot of time in that chair the last couple days. Thursday I completely cleaned the bathroom, even the baseboards. Friday was busier with a full day in underwear; it passed in a blur. (Amazing how some days fly by and some days drag on when you are a stay-at-home mom!) Saturday was great because my husband was home to help take C to the bathroom; I felt like I finally got to spend time in other rooms of our house. :)

Overall, Im very pleased with how potty training is going with C. He really desires to be potty trained and is working very hard at it. Hes had minimal accidents, none of them messy. Hes actually taken to potty training so quickly that I put him in underwear all day, from the time he wakes up to the time he puts on pajamas. He took a 3 hour nap on Friday and stayed dry the whole time. Saturday we ran errands-- 2 different stops, out of the house for 2.5 hours-- and he was dry the whole time, even using the public restroom while we were gone. When we arrived at a store, we took him to the restroom and we took him again before we left. (Note: I only braved leaving the house this early in the potty training process with all the boys in tow because my husband was home to help. One of us was able to quickly get him to the restroom when C needed to go potty while the other stayed with his brothers.) Right now Im feeling like we are going to hold off on nights. Im not sure hes ready to be in the bathroom unsupervised, especially if he has a fellow 2-year old following him in there. For now we are taking baby steps, seeing what works, seeing what they can do with the freedom we are handing over to them. When we tackled nights with our oldest, he was waking up dry night after night. C is not waking up dry every morning, so Im not sure when we will do nights. Again, my plan is No Plan-- well just see what happens.

As for a rewards system, we havent had to be as creative with our rewards system with C as we were for his older brother. Cs ambition to potty training is really driving us this time around. We do have a jar of gummy candies sitting on the counter as his treat, but we havent had to do something different for pooping or peeing-- he does both on his own accord in the toilet. The only problem with "treat," as the he calls it, is that O gets quite upset when his brother is picking out gummy candies that he cant have. Occasionally our 5-year old asks if he can have one, but he is more accepting of our answer than his 2.5-year old brother. Because we dont want our toddlers to feel that they are being compared against each other as twins, we are careful how we word our reasoning as to why C gets a treat and O doesnt. When O starts reaching for a treat, I tell him that these are Cs treats. When he demands further explanation, "Why I not get treat, Momma?" I politely tell him that C is potty training right now, which is the truth. O has said to that that he wants to potty train, which he doesnt. As I wrote this, he insisted on trying to go potty after seeing C get a treat, only to get in the bathroom and fidget around, refuse to go near the toilet, and try to grab the toothpaste tube. Now when I tell him that C is potty training right now, I quickly add that he will potty train soon too and will get treats then as well. I briefly entertained the idea of finding some sort of consolation treat for D and O, immediately shooting down the idea. We dont give all 3 boys medicine when only 1 child needs medicine. We arent going to reward all 3 boys because 1 is potty training successfully. We are loving but firm and the technique is working thus far.

Wish us luck! We are breaking on to day 4 of potty training and-- knock on wood-- so far no accidents today! :)

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Saturday, March 19, 2016

baby weight loss in first few days | Mommy sick day

baby weight loss in first few days




Sick day? As a stay at home mom? Hahahahahaahahaha!

Weve caught a couple small colds this year, but nothing serious or long until this past weekend. Saturday we all felt fine. Sunday I woke up with a miserable cold. Im not sure how much truth is in this, but I feel like colds hit me hard when Im pregnant. In any case, this one definitely knocked me off my feet. The toddlers just had drippy noses, though we could tell they werent feeling well by how long they slept. Our 5-year old and my hubby, thankfully, still have not shown any symptoms.

Sunday my hubby took our 5-year old to church. They then went to lunch and ran a couple errands we needed done. Afterwards, he dropped our 5-year old off at home and went to school to study for a couple hours. Monday was a regular school day for him. (My hubby is currently going through power school.) And this pregnant, under the weather momma was taking care of a 5-year old and 2-year old twins alone.

Sick days are one of those things that really truly have gotten better as the kids have gotten older. Even back when our oldest was an infant, it is hard taking care of an infant when you dont feel well. They cant do anything for themselves. If they are crawling, they are pulling up on things and falling over or putting themselves in harms way. You have spoon feeding, bottle feeding, constant diaper changing, rocking to sleep, nap schedules, and, Lord forbid the infant gets sick when you do! A fussy infant when you are also sick is so hard to manage. Then we had twins and it became exponentially more difficult. Instead of caring for one infant, we had two. Two infants when you are sick are an extreme juggling act, especially if they come down with it too! You can sometimes do fine taking care of two well babies when they are on the same schedule, but when they are both sick, they both want to be held and they both have needs that can be hard to meet when you are under the weather. On top of that, I was also taking care of a toddler, bouncing around and wanting something to do. I remember many colds where I was sitting on the floor with a box of tissues and two crying babies in my arms while my oldest rolled around on the couch watching movies.

These past two days Ive been home sick with a 5 and a half year old and two 2 and a half year olds. It really has been one of those times when having twins is a major benefit and they entertain each other. Our toddlers spent much of the past two days pushing trains together and playing house in our playroom. Occasionally they would bring out their "babies" for me to ooh and aah over, little stuffed panda bears and dinosaurs cradled in their arms. They would chase each other around our family room and play hide and seek with each other. (Strangely, those types of games arent usually too wild with two two year olds, but as soon as you throw a five year old in there it reaches a whole new level of wild.) I still had to take care of them and change their diapers. However, toddlers dont fly through diapers like infants do, so the diaper changes were less frequent. I left snacks and drinks within their reach and could direct them to the snack pile when they told me they were hungry, "Its on the table, love." They brought me diapers and wipes to change them when they told me they were stinky. If they got too wild, I redirected their play without having to get up from the couch, "Boys, too wild. Can you go find your trains to push?" When they woke up from nap fussy and groggy (they have a mild version of my cold), they came out of their bedrooms and stumbled over to me on the couch for after nap cuddles-- I didnt need to go get them out of cribs and immediately start on diaper changes and getting bottles ready.

As for our 5 and a half year old, he has been awesome. Seriously. I have been singing his praises for the past couple days. I put the art box in the office for him where his Legos and KNex are. He has been making me "get better soon" hearts and cards since I got sick. Yesterday he even made me a paper rose. Ive let him play out front and at the park behind our house. He wears a watch and I tell him what time he needs to check in with me, "When the long black hand is on the 9, you need to come in and check up with Momma." He has religiously come in at the correct times. I do believe he feels he is coming in to check on me and not check in with me as every time he enters the house he quietly comes in the family room with a, "How are you feeling, Momma?" and lays his hand on my forehead. He can make sandwiches for himself and for his brothers, as well as get tangerines and such from the fridge and peel them for all 3 of them. He has brought me blankets, pillows, Kleenex, water... All with the sweetest attitude. He is so excited we have another baby on the way and I think he has been practicing his caretaking skills. I woke up from a short nap on the couch to find him rubbing my feet. When he saw I was awake, he said, "Hey, Momma! Im trying to help make you feel better" He has played with his brothers, watched movies with me, played outside when he felt cooped up, and spent a lot of time building and drawing in the office.

Those have been the easy times, the things-went-perfectly times. Of course over the past two days weve had crazy times. Sunday night a little before my hubby came home, I started feeling so overwhelmed. With a pounding head and 3 kids running around wrestling and misbehaving, I didnt know how we would get through the rest of the evening. I wanted to curl up in bed with a box of tissues and some Vicks, not patrol toddlers who kept jumping on the couch. I felt too tired to talk, let alone get the boys ready for bed. Yesterday one of the toddlers fell down and bumped his knee. I came in the playroom to see if he was okay only to discover that instead of playing quietly with their cars and trains, the toddlers had dumped all of our board games out of their boxes into a pile on the floor, including 3 of our 5-year olds puzzles. Oh, I felt so deflated. It was time for their nap anyway; after tucking them in, I sat on the playroom floor with a pounding head, running nose, and started sorting through all our game pieces. Sunday afternoon while my hubby was out with our 5-year old, I heard a stool scraping on the kitchen floor. I told the toddlers to come on out of the kitchen and got the reply, "One minute!" Suspicious, I walked in the kitchen to find them with a box of markers and one of my Lennox bowls, pilfered off the counter. Theyve all 3 been bored at times over the past 2 days, Momma too sick and tired to plan anything during the day. They come whining over to the couch, "Moooooomma.... I want to cuddle...." which really means they want to crawl under the blanket with me and start using it as a play fort, wiggling and squirming and starting tickle fights. Silly when I am well, uncomfortable (and irritating) when Im sick and 18-weeks pregnant. And over the past 2 days we have found so many tissues shredded by our dog, no matter how hard I try to pick them up.

Thankfully today Im feeling better. Still congested, still a little groggy, but much, much better. Our 5-year old let out a cheer when he saw me come in the kitchen this morning and eat a big breakfast. "Are you feeling better, Momma? Yay!!" Even more exciting, the Navy has given my husband 2 days off due to the weather advisory, so Ill have lots of help today. There has been a festive air in our house all morning with Momma feeling better and Daddy home to eat breakfast with us.

Here are some of my tips when home sick:
  • Dont do any unnecessary household chores. If you dont have to do it, dont do it. Wait until you feel better.
    I did no dishes yesterday. When my husband came home, he cleaned up the kitchen, which was fabulous. However, if he hadnt have done the dishes last night, I would do them today when I had my energy up. Laundry... shudder. Ill be catching up on that today too.
  • Snacks, snacks, snacks, snacks, and sandwiches.
    Perhaps my children have been carb loading for the past 2 days, but go for easy food. I kenneled the dog and put a small supply of snacks within their reach. No, I do not normally give them snacks-- firm believer in mealtimes as a family-- and, no, they are not normally allowed to eat anywhere except the kitchen table. However, it was so nice not to have to get up and make food all day. I tried to give them foods that werent too messy: sliced apples, granola bars, bananas, tangerines, slices of bread, etc.
  • Put water within their reach.
    Again, not normally something I am big on. I do not like our toddlers to have unrestricted access to something that will make a mess (or ruin our household electronics). Since our 5-year old can reach the kids cups and fill his own cup, I only put water out for our toddlers. I filled two water bottles up and set them on a coffee table within eye sight of the couch. That way I could see the water bottles and keep an eye on them while drinking them. When I got up to fill my own water, I checked to make sure they had water, that way I wouldnt hear, "Momma, more water!" after I was all settled in to my couch nest.
  • Close off areas of the house.
    While they may have "free reign" of the house while you are stuck on the couch, they dont need access to the whole house. I even locked several of the doors of the house that I didnt want them in, including some of the bathrooms that our toddlers could make a mess in (no, thank you to toothpaste squeezed all over the bathroom!). I also closed off the master bedroom, the laundry room, and our guest room.
  • Find what is entertaining and bend the rules.
    I dont like the television on all day. And I dont like the boys to be able to reach crayons whenever they want to. And I dont like our family room littered with toys (thats what the playroom is for!). But the past couple days, we watched kids movies and shows in the morning; I watched my shows in the afternoon during nap/quiet time. I put crayons on the kitchen table for our toddlers and the art box in the office for our 5-year old. I let the boys play in the hallway to the guest room and push trucks all over the house. Yes, we keep sitting on Legos in our couch cushions, but they all played and we all made it through the cold. I received a lot of artwork the past couple days since they could reach crayons and paper whenever they wanted too-- mostly "get well soon" cards and that really helped me feel better. :)
  • Try to take care of yourself.
    Man, there have been many colds that I powered through and tried to do business as usual. The colds dragged; I was exhausted at the end of the day and for more days. Something about being pregnant helped me be a little more selfish, rest more, drink more water, put things off that really didnt actually need to get done (ahem, laundry). I took short naps when the boys were watching a movie and slept when the toddlers napped, having my 5-year old go play quietly in the office or sitting in the family room with his picture books. I told the boys that I wasnt feeling well and needed to rest when they pleaded with me take out Play doh (a hands on activity when you have two year old twins). Thankfully our fridge is stocked as I recently went grocery shopping, so I didnt feel bad about not cooking meals; we had plenty of supplies for sandwiches and pasta. (Plus our fabulous neighbors brought us over tons of food when they found out I was sick-- THANK YOU!)
Best of luck to all you sick mommas out there. Hope you feel better soon!

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Tuesday, March 15, 2016

baby weight loss in first month | Unexpected encouragement

baby weight loss in first month


Leading his brothers in a morning exercise.

This might very well be my most random post, but it comes from a very honest place. Lately Ive felt tired. I mean it-- straight up, worn out, used up, nothing left, another day?, tired. Ive felt that the boys go day after day fighting the same fights, getting in the same trouble, picking on each other in the same ways, keeping me going and going and going without rest day after day after day. And those minutes I steal for myself-- taking a shower, sipping my coffee-- are interrupted by screaming and fighting and rule breaking.

I want to tell the toddler who comes in my bathroom when Im trying to put a little make up on my face, "You wouldnt have a fat lip if you werent jumping on the couch in the first place!"

I want to tell our 5-year old, "Your brothers wouldnt be screaming if you didnt bring that toy in here in the first place! You know that toy isnt supposed to be left down."

And why does the dog always have to go to the bathroom the minute the boys are napping, our 5-year old is watching a movie, and Ive just settled on to the couch?

I feel people are overwhelmed when we show up, that my boys arent listening. I feel they wiggle and fight and run and touch. They wont stand next to me, they wont use inside voices. I feel they are constantly wrestling, constantly wanting up and down and up and down, constantly screeching and fighting with each other.

I want to explain that we do have house rules. And that maybe it isnt always like this. But lately it does feel that it is always like this.

This afternoon I turned on the television and there was a show on TLC called "Quints by Surprise." I thought the babies would entertain the boys and so I turned it on. I was right, the 5 little toddlers did entertain the boys.

However, the show taught me a bigger lesson. The parents were doing all the same things that I do... and the toddlers were acting the same way our toddlers act. Yet when I watched the mom on television, I felt she was doing it all right and that her kids were well-behaved! Why am I doubting myself so much? I saw situation after situation play out with this bustling family-- from loading the toddlers up in the stroller, measuring them on a growth chart, spending the weekend at home-- and the toddlers were acting the same as my toddlers.

It sounds silly, I know, but watching this family made me feel that this is just life with toddlers. You do it all right, you talk to them right, you listen to them, you help them, and they will still throw temper tantrums. You help them take turns and they still fight with each other. You give the older sibling and job and they take it very seriously, upsetting younger siblings in the process... and it is all right. This is just life.

This family was like an extreme of our life. We have an older sibling and multiples-- just twins not quints. And sometimes life is crazy busy and sometimes you wait and wait for that moment where it is all easy and it all falls into place. The toddlers on television were adorable, seriously, all of them trying to help their daddy as they one after another accidentally spilled their own cup of milk on the carpet. Ive been in those situations. You have one toddler trying to help, but really making it worse, and then the other jumps in and makes it an even bigger mess! Yet the dad on television was laughing at it all.

I Googled the family to see if they had a blog and they do, JonesLife. The first post on the page, "These Days," had this excerpt:
To answer the question we get quite often – no, these days are not any easier than the days that have gone before…though we’re hoping that the 5?s 5th year of life will bring some relief to our weary souls!  I’ll repeat:  no, it hasn’t gotten any easier; rather, the challenges have changed.  Gone are the sleepless nights, hello mega-attitude and meltdowns from 5 hyper-sensitive little beings trying to find their place in the world.  Gone is the endless parade of dirty diapers, hello pee accidents by the handful and the joys of taking 5 tots to the bathroom 5 times when we dare venture out of the house.  Gone are the days of bottle feeding and burping, hello knocked over milk cups, protests over what has been provided for a meal, food thrown across the table, and ginormous messes left at the dinner table…and the dinner floor…and the dinner clothes…and the dinner hands and faces…and so on and so forth.  No, things are definitely not easier by any barometer we can measure by…just different.
 Sometimes it such a relief to know that you are not the only one.

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Tuesday, March 1, 2016

pregnancy weight loss during second trimester | CAN BEING SICK HELP YOU CONCEIVE

pregnancy weight loss during second trimester



Having A Baby Over 40, Could Getting Sick Help?


Ive pondered this question for many years.  Could being sick actually help you get pregnant?


The reason I thought about this is because many of my pregnancies occurred when I either wasnt feeling well or was downright sick.  My case in point:  I unexpectedly got pregnant right after I had the stomach flu (this happened at the age of 49 - but I miscarried shortly thereafter).  I believe conception occurred before I got the flu, but Im thinking the embryo attached while I was sick.  If youve followed my site for a few years, you probably saw that post, but if you didnt heres the link to it:

49 AND PREGNANCY (getpregnantover40.com)


I recently read about a theory behind the possibility that being sick could help you get pregnant.  It has to do with the immune system.  It could be possible that your immune system may be sabotaging your ability to get pregnant by attacking the pregnancy.  If youre body is busy attacking a real predator, it may help save your pregnancy by not attacking the baby.  I dont know if theres any real science behind this because my sources on this arent based on research, however it does make sense. 

I have read from credible sources that pregnant women in general do have supressed immune systems and tend to be more susceptible to colds, flu, etc.  Again, the theory here is that the immune system is suppressed so it doesnt attack the pregnancy. 

Anyway if being sick can really help you get pregnant, all you have to do is figure out how on earth youre going to actually have intercourse in that physical state!

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