pregnancy weight loss after miscarriage | The guilt nobody told me about

pregnancy weight loss after miscarriage

Before LL came along my three year old daughter was my little partner in crime.  Ive been lucky enough that since she was born Ive been able to have a career break from work. This has meant me and my daughter have been pretty much inseparable.  We have done everything together.  The good times of spontaneous picnics, girls shopping trips and farm visits, and (lets not wear rose tinted glasses here) even the not so good times, like when she spilt a whole jug of milk down me in the middle of Marks and Spencer or when she tantrum rolled herself down an aisle in Sainsburys. 

Before LL came, in those last few weeks of my pregnancy, I really treasured every moment. I knew things were about to change.  But what nobody told me is how our relationship would change, or the guilt Id feel as my role changed.  

In these first few weeks of having LL, my time has been almost entirely consumed with caring for a newborn.  With breastfeeding, changing and caring for this little bundle 24/7. And I guess that is how it should be.  Ive included my eldest in all the things youre meant to, like reading to her whilst Im feeding, including her to help care for LL.  But still, theres been a change.  

Its not me she calls for if she needs something now. Its not me she gets into the car and sits nicely for.  Its her Daddy. I feel like Im suddenly second best.  

And I know this is good.  My husband tells me its nice to finally be that person for a change, instead of it always being me.  And I know this is completely normal.  But that doesnt stop me feeling guilty when she asks for Daddy when Im stood right next to her.  Or when I tell her to wait a minute for the hundredth time as LL has just been sick everywhere again.

I know I cant do everything.  I know Im not superwoman.  But that doesnt stop me from wanting to be.  I guess I have to adjust to being a mum of two.  I just wish someone had forewarned me of this guilt I feel.  

I think the transition from three to four just takes time for us all, I just hope my eldest always knows how much I love her, even if its not just us two girls anymore when Daddy goes to work.  Its something even more special now, its us three girls.  The three musketeers.  

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post pregnancy weight loss stories | Kangaroo modelling boots a 30th

post pregnancy weight loss stories

It was a very good friends surprise birthday party in Manchester at the weekend, and after dropping our daughter off at her grandmas we made our way to a very cold Manchester.  I looked at my husband as we parked the car and gave him my best puppy dog eyes look (that really makes me look a little odd). Pleeeeaaasssseeee, I said,  OK, OK, he replied. Because to be fair, who wants to be stood on a residential street taking photos of your wifes outfit because she needs to blog about it? Exactly. 

Once again, I channelled my inner model (who for the record doesnt exist...my inner model is in fact a kangaroo).  Stop bouncing about, Mr.Bee said, your legs look funny, Im trying to look natural, I squealed. Bloody hell.  After assuring me he had some good shots (!) we headed to the party to surprise our friend along with about 50 others. 

The party was held at a local micro-brewery which sold more variety of beers than you could shake your beer goggles at. As the designated driver I cannot critique any for you, but I can say my husband seemed to be enjoying himself trying out the many many different beers on offer. There was laughter and some singing of Michael Jacksons The Earth Song which seems to be an in joke of our friends friends.  It was quite entertaining! Sneaking a peak of my earlier outfit shots, revealed that we needed to take a more (I know!). So I quickly posed and hoped for the best. 

I couldnt decide on what to wear so opted for this blue sweetheart neckline dress which is very old from All Saints.  On its own it can look quite dressy, so I paired it with a grey blazer (Topshop) and a pair of grey suede ankle boots (head over heels by Dune).  

I have only recently bought these ankle boots, but I wonder how I didnt have a pair before.  They are so versatile and can be worn to dress up a pair of jeans up or with dresses when I dont want to wear my trusty nude heels. Ankle boots are definitely worth a look and there are so many styles in the sales currently. The pair Im wearing are currently in the sale for £24 and they are so comfy (link here). And for some style inspiration...

Ankle Boots by laurabee001 featuring black boots

Hmmm, maybe shoe modelling is more my forte!! But, enough about boots, back to the party...

And how amazing is this cake? 

We had such an amazing night and felt very honoured to celebrate with our good friend. Happy 30th Birthday Mr.M! 

Wishing you all a lovely weekend!

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post pregnancy weight loss motivation | Motherhood without a filter

post pregnancy weight loss motivation

I was in two minds as to whether to publish this blog post or not. So much of what we see and read online is about how well people are doing, happy lives portrayed and smiling perfect images.  And whilst that is all great, I also want my blog to reflect and record our lives. The good times and the tough times. So here goes.

LL is now 8 weeks old and appears to be struggling with reflux or colic. I say appears, as to be honest I really dont know whats going on. All I know is Ive got a very unsettled baby who appears to be in discomfort and who Im up most of the night with.

It all started just before Christmas, and its got worse and worse. On Christmas day she must have cried from about 4pm until midnight and then she was so exhausted she fell asleep.

I was at the GPs as soon as they opened after the bank holiday, but I came away none the wiser really.  I know she is medically well. She breast-feeds well, is gaining weight and is alert. I think we are just going through an unsettled phase.  But its so tough.

I think these last few days have been harder than when we first came home from the hospital.  Im also exhausted which doesnt help. Weve tried gaviscon and colief, which for the record are a bloody nightmare to give to a breastfed baby. At 4am this morning as LL was unsettled, I attempted to give her the colief via a syringe in warmed breast-milk.  When she then spat the lot out in my face, I threw the syringe across the room and decided I wasnt going to give it anymore. I think its causing both of us too much stress that outweighs the good its doing.

Yesterday, my eldest had a little accident and couldnt get to the toilet in time.  I was cleaning up the floor and asked her to pass me her wet knickers so I could wash them. She threw them at my head, so I got a wet slap in the face with her knickers. I just burst out laughing.  I think if I hadnt,  I may have been hysterical. Which I was today.

We had a bad night last night, so as my daughter is at preschool today,  I thought me and LL would have a lie in. What actually happened is our smoke alarm which is connected to the mains starting beeping every 5 minutes. This sent the dog mad. With instructions from my husband on how to dismantle it, I balanced precariously on a chair in my pjs.  LL started to cry, the dog was barking, and I saw two long spiders legs poking out from under the alarm.

This suddenly felt like the worst ever Bush Tucker Trial.  I half expected Ant and Dec to appear.

After some messing about with a screwdriver, I finally dismantled the alarm.  Oh wait, I missed the bit where I wailed on the floor for 5 minutes. Then I got a grip, and then I dismantled the smoke alarm.

Anyway, the whole point of this blog today is to say its tough. It doesnt matter how much I love LL, how lucky I feel to have my two girls, its still tough. And in the midst of my wailing this morning Ive decided to take each day as it comes.

Being a mum for a second time, I know this stage wont last.  I know I just have to ride it out. To all new mums, hang on in there. Being a mum is meant to be tough.  You are doing an amazing job. And if you do ever find yourself in the jungle, Bush Tucker trials arent a patch on parenthood.

Thanks for reading, 

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baby weight loss plateau | The one about sleep

baby weight loss plateau

In those heady early weeks of having a baby, the prospect of sleep appears like a distant memory.  You could happily sleep stood upright, whilst in a roomful of people, simultaneously balancing a monkey on your head. But alas, hopefully, as the weeks to turn to years and your little one reaches toddler-hood, from 7pm until 7am you know you can catch up on your shut eye. What, yours doesnt do this? Erm, no.  Mine neither. 

It would seem everyone from the lady down the post office to the mum at baby group has an opinion on your childs sleep pattern.  And they are eager to give you their useful fool-proof tips, guaranteed to get your little one to sleep longer involving the weird and the wonderful.  From giving them a mud bath before bed, smothering them in lavender or singing twinkle, twinkle an exact 67 times, yep, that ought to do it. Hmmm. 

Here are a few more practical tips that Ive gleaned from friends and family that Ive found useful in helping my daughter to sleep that bit longer. And theres no mud bath involved.  

1. A good bedtime routine. 

Yes, I know youve heard this one before.  But, a good bedtime routine is absolute key in getting your child to sleep well.  Who wants to be running round the living room pretending to be a tiger one minute and then the next being told its time to go to bed and you must go straight to sleep? Exactly.  

We start our bedtime routine around 6pm with stories and quiet time.  Though I admit that sometimes if Daddy gets home late, this may be replaced by wild running around, but hey, nobodys perfect! We then have bath-time and another story and then tucked into bed around 7pm.  We do this every single night, unless say, we are out late, which rarely happens.  But because our daughter is so used to her routine, if it does gets pushed back or changed slightly, as is life, its no big deal.  You may have your own routine or bed-times and thats fine. Its the consistency thats the key. 

2. A room thats not too light.

This may seem really obvious, but I never realised how light my daughters bedroom got until the lighter mornings crept up on us.  And when the room is light, what toddler wouldnt think its time to get up? We have black-out curtains which we found from Dunelm Mill and these are perfect for keeping the sunlight out. There is a subtle change in light so that my daughter does know the difference between the day and night.  If you have a VELUX window, then these black-out blinds from Itzala are just perfect and come in a lovely range of childrens styles which are gorgeous for a childs bedroom. 

(To see this full nursery safari wall mural click here) 

3.  Not too hot and not too cold. 

Making sure the room is a perfect temperature is also a good idea. Something simple, but something that can be easily be overlooked. 

4. Outside noises. 
Children can wake up at the slightest noise early in the mornings.  Obviously you cant stop the milkman from doing his rounds, but maybe close the windows to reduce the noise. 

5.  And relax. 

From the moment a baby appears in the big wide world, everyone seems to have an opinion on their sleep pattern.  From sleeping too much, to having a child akin to an owl, you will probably have already heard it all from other people.  And we wont mention that lady from the baby group whose baby slept through the night from day one. Every child is different, and you really have to do what works for you.  If your child gets up at the crack of dawn and no matter what you try they wont sleep longer, then, take a deep breath and just go with it.  

Routines and children grow and change, and the more stress and emphasis we put on sleep, the worse the problem can get. You cant force a child to sleep, but only try and make little changes to help them and you get a good nights sleep, ready for the day ahead.   

Thanks for reading, and if you have any sleep tips or tricks, I would love to hear them in the comments below. 

VELUX kindly sponsored this post.  All content and opinions and entirely my own. 

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baby weight loss percentage calculator | Pregnancy Blog Week 20

baby weight loss percentage calculator

Eeek, how exciting! My first proper pregnancy blog! I had all intentions of blogging weekly about my pregnancy, but my little friend called morning constant sickness put a stop to that little idea (you can read about me sobbing in the bathroom here).  But, onto less sicky things and more happy tales now...I am twenty weeks pregnant and half way there! 

We had our twenty week scan this week which was amazing.  I didnt think I would be nervous, but I barely slept the night before and had a very strange dream involving a baby chimpanzee and a hot air balloon (dont ask).  The sonographer took what felt like ages doing her measurements and checks.  There was alot of me jigging around as baby was quite low down, and after she had tilted the bed and me upside down, she managed to get her measurements and then talked us through the scan.  Everything was absolutely perfect and as it should be.  

We asked not to know the sex of the baby, but I dont know, I thought the face looked like a boy.  But dont count on me for any intuition, as I was convinced my daughter was a boy throughout my pregnancy.  

We did take our daughter along to the scan and she peered suspiciously at the screen, before returning to her game of snap! 

Week 20 of my pregnancy is going well.  I am starting to feel a little more tired than I would normally.  Ive had no real cravings, except if you count wanting every single food substance.  I feel like my body is making up for the fact that I hardly ate in the first 4 months of my pregnancy and I think I am certainly a tad heavier than I was last month. But honestly, I dont care.  The feeling of not feeling nauseous or being sick is AMAZING and Im still on a high from actually feeling well, being able to do things and not spending the majority of my waking day in the bathroom.  

I am slathering myself in Palmers stretch mark cream and then for good measure, I also top up with Bio-oil.  Im like an oily fish when I emerge from the bathroom.  I have noticed a few little stretch marks on my hips and I cant remember if they appeared during my first pregnancy or not. I do know my body is a bit smaller this pregnancy because of all the running I did late last year (I did run a half-marathon...I tell this to everyone-whether they are interested or not :-)).  But I can honestly say, I dont give two hoots about these little lines.  My body has got to grow and my thankfulness of actually having the chance to have a healthy second baby outweighs any lines that appear on this body of mine! 

Im feeling lots of movement, and I think I felt little flutterings from around week 16, which I know is pretty early.  Its lovely to feel and Mr.Bee has even managed to feel the kicks too.  I love this stage of pregnancy, and did I mention Im on a high from not feeling sick? :-)

Thank you for reading,  

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pregnancy weight loss tracker | Its all about that blood

pregnancy weight loss tracker

I know, I know, not my most catchy-ish of titles, but it was this or some other dodgy blood related one!! So, first off, this isnt some gruesome tale that involves alot of blood and gore, sorry if thats what you were after (!). This is the tale of me and my experience going to donate blood for the very first time. There are no dodgy photos and this isnt a preachy blog post urging you to go and do it. If you fancy reading about my experience of giving blood, or, if you have ever thought of donating before but havent been sure, then this is the blog post for you. Now we have cleared all of that up, lets get started! 

Back in December, in the midst of my blogging every day for Blogmas, I pledged to go and give blood. I wanted to go and do something for someone else during a season when it can feel a bit over commercial. I wanted to do something that would actually make a difference to someone else and hopefully show my daughter that Christmas isnt all about the presents. Ahhh, me and my bright ideas. My well laid plans certainly did not go to plan (they rarely do), and I found myself, after a week of worry, being turned away at the donor centre because the blood donation session was full!!! Argh! You can read all about that little escapade here.

Now I am not going to lie.  Giving blood worried me.  This was no walk in the park for me.  But dont you find that those moments that you feel most challenged by are sometimes the moments that you look back on and feel the proudest of? This felt like it could be one of those moments. And did you know that giving blood can save up to three lives? Fact. 

I had already signed up to the blood donation website where you can find out your local times and venues, and when one popped up near my home, I felt I had to go and do it. The very moment I clicked book, my nerves returned. As with most things in life, the thought of doing something is way worse than the actual event. (Hmmm, maybe with the exception of child birth?!) And as someone with a very over active imagination, I had already imagined the worst.  I imagined fainting, of my arm dropping off, of being sick all over the nurse - a bit like in the exorcist, of falling off the chair and other such completely believable scenarios (!!!).  

The big day finally came and I arrived very nervous.  As I had booked my session online this time there was no chance of me being turned away. I registered at the desk and went to take a seat in the waiting area.  When you book an appointment online they send you all the paperwork through the post and it saves time filling the forms out when you arrive.  I had to drink a big cup of water to help replace the fluids I would lose during the donation and during this time my two year old daughter performed a rendition of chim-chim-cheree from Mary Poppins which was nice. (N.B. I cant guarantee she will be there for you if you donate, but I am considering hiring her out for the waiting room!). 

Next, I was called into a private area and was asked questions to screen if I was suitable to give blood.   My finger was pricked to test my iron levels. A drop of my blood was placed into a copper sulphate solution and if it sinks to the bottom it shows you iron levels are OK for you to donate. (And you know this bit doesnt really hurt because Im taking pictures at the same time!!).  

However, I wont get too cocky as my ability to then take a good picture of my drop of blood sinking in the tube was a fail!! Sorry for the poor quality. I felt I had to include this photograph as the lovely nurse did the test twice for me so I could get a good shot!!!

After the test I went out to sit on a couch and I was placed in a semi-upright position ready for the donation.  A blood pressure cuff was placed around my arm to maintain a little bit of pressure and then the nurse found a good vein. Obviously you can feel a pinching sensation, but really, it was nothing.  

I wont lie.  I didnt look down at my arm once.  I just didnt want to see it.  But I can honestly say, it was absolutely fine!!! Yes, there was a little bit of pressure of my arm, but that was literally it.  I didnt feel faint, I wasnt in pain and I didnt feel sick.  They ask you to do several exercises during your donation to help reduce your risk of fainting, like clenching your hand, clenching your bum cheeks (!) and moving your feet.  Obviously not one to risk fainting and erring on the side of caution I clenched away like my life depended on it! 

The process of actually having the blood taken took about five to ten minutes.  That is all!!! I thought I was going to be hooked up all day! It really was over before I knew it and I had donated just under a pint. And then its the bit you all know is coming, I was escorted to have a well earned drink and a bourbon biscuit. 

Apart from having a bit of a sore arm for the rest of the day, I felt absolutely fine.  The staff were really a credit to the blood service. From checking in to the actual donation, they couldnt have been nicer. And you know what? Everyone thanked me for going to give my blood.  Even on my way out, a nurse who I hadnt seen said thank you to me for attending.  How absolutely lovely.  I mean I didnt want a red carpet and an award or anything, but feeling like you have done something great, well, it makes you feel great. 

I dont want this post to come across as preachy or to make you feel like you have to go and give blood.  Its a personal and individual choice. All I will say is that if you are even considering it, then go and do it. Coming from someone who worried for a whole week about this, it was absolutely fine and I will definitely be going back to donate again. You can find the UK Give Blood website here where you can find out more and find your local sessions. And what better way to start the year than to donate blood to help someone, somewhere, who really needs it? 

"When you give blood you give another birthday, 

another anniversary, 

another day at the beach, 

another night under the stars, 

another talk with a friend, 

another laugh, 

another hug, 

another chance", 

American Red Cross. 

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baby weight loss plan | Laid Back Santa Barbara

baby weight loss plan

Our American road trip continued, and we arrived in Santa Barbara quite late in the afternoon (we had previously stopped at Monterey, San Francisco and New York).  We arrived and unpacked at our base, Lavender Inn By The Sea.  This was a lovely little place to stay, just a short drive to the beach and with lots of lovely finishing touches such as complimentary cheese and wine in the evenings, and mine and my daughters personal favourite, freshly baked cookies and milk in the afternoons.  

But dont think its all glamour.  We had now been away for just over a week, with alot of stops, and packing and unpacking.  We really needed to get some clothes washed, and in all of the places we had stayed, dry cleaning was $10 per sock, or something silly.  We hopped into the car for a bit of local exploration and found ourselves at a very very local laundrette where we spent the next hour washing and drying our clothes.  All I can say is, dont waste your time with Disney world, my daughter found the whole experience quite exciting.  Ive never seen a toddler so happy pushing a huge laundry cart up and down the aisles of washing machines and driers! 

"Glamour" 

The next morning we awoke early, and after a delicious breakfast, we visited the local beach and pier.  It was amazing to see dolphins playing in the sea, just metres out in the clear waters.  And along the pier, we met huge pelicans hoping to get lucky and waiting for the local fishermen to drop a fish. 

The obvious thing to do on a beach when you are a toddler is to dig a hole and then climb in it! 

Our day consisted of wandering around the beautiful coastline and eating. It was perfect. Santa Barbara had a really lovely laid back vibe, was really clean and easy to get around. 

I was a little shocked at the huge homeless population in Santa Barbara. I dont think I have ever visited anywhere where I have seen so many homeless people. There seemed to be so many that I actually Googled it and there appears to be a real homeless community, and I guess need for aid there.  We never felt unsafe or hassled whilst we were wandering around, but it is something that shocked me and made me feel quite sad for these individuals whose life is on the streets.  

I would highly recommend a stop in Santa Barbara.  There was so much to do and see, and we really could have spent several more days there. The city itself was so picturesque with a beautiful coastline on one side and rolling mountains on the other.  

We left very early in the morning, and headed back along the Pacific Coast Highway 1, for our fifth and final stop, San Diego.  

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pregnancy weight loss delivery | HANDLING PROBING QUESTIONS ABOUT HAVING CHILDREN

pregnancy weight loss delivery

Infertility, people dont always assume youre going through it, especially if youre over 40

Oh, I remember as if it were yesterday...we were with my husbands sister and her family at an event. They had also invited other friends and, of course, it was a family oriented extravaganza.

There I was, minding my own business, waiting for the show to start and one of the other people there says...
"I bet you guys have a bunch of kids right?”
 Silence.
 “Uh no, actually we dont have any”....more silence....”Um how many do you have? “Four”. 

“Oh”. 
I dont know why that blindsided me, but it did. After that experience we went to most events by ourselves and I made a mental note to come up with a “canned” response to the “do you have children” question.

Be prepared for the "when are you going to have a baby" or "do you have children" question

Preparation is really the key to getting through tough situations. I found the worst part of any encounter of this nature was being unprepared. I know the last thing people want is to make you feel bad, and even now, after everything Ive gone through, I frequently ask people if they have kids...I dont automatically assume that theyre struggling with infertility.  I have even asked if theyre planning on having a baby.

The fertile world doesnt know how you feel and you are hypersensitive right now

You have to remember you are hypersensitive right now and people in the fertile world just don’t know how it feels just as you may not understand certain aspects of their life.

You are probably feeling angry and frustrated and it’s hard not to transfer that on to others. If you say something rude or nasty to someone who makes a comment that hurts you, you will probably feel worse about yourself later which will add to your stress.  I know the feeling of being on the edge of saying something I would regret later.

Responses to the having a baby or child question

First let me tell you my response to the “having children” question:
 “We got married later in life and by the time we really considered it, we felt we were on a different path.”
Yes, I lied and a little white lie now and then is OK. The reason I gave this response is it seemed any other response would give people more information than I wanted to share. I really didn’t want people to know I was trying to get pregnant because I was so sensitive about my age. I also found this response stopped this line of questioning dead in its tracks. If you do get pregnant and you see these people again, you can say, “what a pleasant surprise!” and you won’t be lying!

Other responses I’ve heard include:
We’re trying
 Not yet
 Someday
We can’t
 Apparently not!
We’re very blessed with what we have
Babies seem to come when they’re good and ready
 When we decide (or when we do), you’ll be the first to know!

SEE ALSO: SHARING INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR INFERTILITY (getpregnantover40.com)

If you share information about your struggle with infertility, others will know what questions not to ask, thereby avoiding uncomfortable situations. They will hopefully be more sensitive to your needs and they will be less likely to hurt your feelings with needless “kiddie” talk. This also gives you the opportunity to talk freely about your feelings and release some of your stress which can ultimately help you relax. The downside of telling others is they may purposefully avoid talking with you about certain subjects which can leave you feeling isolated and like somewhat of an outcast. To me, there would be nothing worse than finding out a mutual acquaintance is pregnant and then find out everyone was trying to keep it from me. Only you can decide the right way to handle this dilemma for yourself, but my best advice is to plan it out ahead of time so youre prepared when the question arise.

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