pregnancy weight loss delivery | HANDLING PROBING QUESTIONS ABOUT HAVING CHILDREN

pregnancy weight loss delivery

Infertility, people dont always assume youre going through it, especially if youre over 40

Oh, I remember as if it were yesterday...we were with my husbands sister and her family at an event. They had also invited other friends and, of course, it was a family oriented extravaganza.

There I was, minding my own business, waiting for the show to start and one of the other people there says...
"I bet you guys have a bunch of kids right?”
 Silence.
 “Uh no, actually we dont have any”....more silence....”Um how many do you have? “Four”. 

“Oh”. 
I dont know why that blindsided me, but it did. After that experience we went to most events by ourselves and I made a mental note to come up with a “canned” response to the “do you have children” question.

Be prepared for the "when are you going to have a baby" or "do you have children" question

Preparation is really the key to getting through tough situations. I found the worst part of any encounter of this nature was being unprepared. I know the last thing people want is to make you feel bad, and even now, after everything Ive gone through, I frequently ask people if they have kids...I dont automatically assume that theyre struggling with infertility.  I have even asked if theyre planning on having a baby.

The fertile world doesnt know how you feel and you are hypersensitive right now

You have to remember you are hypersensitive right now and people in the fertile world just don’t know how it feels just as you may not understand certain aspects of their life.

You are probably feeling angry and frustrated and it’s hard not to transfer that on to others. If you say something rude or nasty to someone who makes a comment that hurts you, you will probably feel worse about yourself later which will add to your stress.  I know the feeling of being on the edge of saying something I would regret later.

Responses to the having a baby or child question

First let me tell you my response to the “having children” question:
 “We got married later in life and by the time we really considered it, we felt we were on a different path.”
Yes, I lied and a little white lie now and then is OK. The reason I gave this response is it seemed any other response would give people more information than I wanted to share. I really didn’t want people to know I was trying to get pregnant because I was so sensitive about my age. I also found this response stopped this line of questioning dead in its tracks. If you do get pregnant and you see these people again, you can say, “what a pleasant surprise!” and you won’t be lying!

Other responses I’ve heard include:
We’re trying
 Not yet
 Someday
We can’t
 Apparently not!
We’re very blessed with what we have
Babies seem to come when they’re good and ready
 When we decide (or when we do), you’ll be the first to know!

SEE ALSO: SHARING INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR INFERTILITY (getpregnantover40.com)

If you share information about your struggle with infertility, others will know what questions not to ask, thereby avoiding uncomfortable situations. They will hopefully be more sensitive to your needs and they will be less likely to hurt your feelings with needless “kiddie” talk. This also gives you the opportunity to talk freely about your feelings and release some of your stress which can ultimately help you relax. The downside of telling others is they may purposefully avoid talking with you about certain subjects which can leave you feeling isolated and like somewhat of an outcast. To me, there would be nothing worse than finding out a mutual acquaintance is pregnant and then find out everyone was trying to keep it from me. Only you can decide the right way to handle this dilemma for yourself, but my best advice is to plan it out ahead of time so youre prepared when the question arise.

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baby weight loss day 4 | INFERTILITY HOLIDAYS AND HANDLING FAMILY

baby weight loss day 4

Trying To Conceive Over 40 and The Holidays

I posted this article last year, and I wanted to post it again during this holiday season. Even though trying to conceive unsuccessfully for many years isnt the least bit funny, the title of the article made me laugh (Fa la la la la blah blah blah blah). Oh how I felt like a big Scrooge every Christmas (it seemed like every holiday season was right after a miscarriage or failed fertility treatment). Katie gives some good advice for dealing with the holidays:

SEE ALSO: HOW STRESS CAN AFFECT YOUR ABILITY TO GET PREGNANT (getpregnantover40.com)

From the article:

 My heavily Catholic mother was fond of saying how “funny” it
was that she never wanted any children and had six, and I wanted them but
couldn’t seem to have any. She often repeated that my childlessness was
probably God’s way of telling me I wouldn’t be a good mother.
I had a great aunt who was going deaf who would pat my stomach and
holler, “Is anyone in there yet?” And then there are the idiotic bosses who,
after a few drinks, tell you to lighten up and offer to pinch hit for your
husband, ha, ha, ha.
 from: (www.mindbodyfertility.com)

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baby weight loss dvd | WOMAN 48 HAS SURPRISE PREGNANCY

baby weight loss dvd

Im constantly finding stories of women who conceive naturally at older ages.  Many women over 40 and over 45 think theyre too old to get pregnant and they forget about their birth control.  Here is a story of a women who had a surprise pregnancy at the age of 48!  Imagine her surprise not only because of her age, but because she already has a 28 year old child (and her husband who is 56 has a 36 year old).
Well, it just goes to show you that babies come when theyre good and ready.

SEE ALSO: SURPRISE PREGNANCY AT 49 (getpregnantover40.com)

from the article:

New mom Robin said she realizes that when shes 60, Noah will be 12. She says to that fact, "But with the way our children are with him, I know hes going to be loved and cared for no matter what happens to us."
New dad Mark recalls his thoughts upon finding out that his wife was pregnant, "When she told me she was pregnant, I said, Unbelievable. Its gotta be a mistake, you gotta go to the doctor. My concern was that they were healthy. When the doctor said that, I was excited about it."
Being a dad at this age will help keep him young, he said. Teaching Noah how to throw a baseball and other sports, "Im sure gonna try" he said.
Having lost a daughter when she was 18 in a car accident, Mark said "Maybe this is Gods way of repaying me."
from: pregnancy.org

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