post pregnancy weight loss youtube | Unique to twins

post pregnancy weight loss youtube

There are a lot of things about having twins that are hard to put into words or hard for people without twins to understand. For some things, parenting twins is double the work. For other things, it is half the work. I absolutely love being a momma to identical twins.

However, I read some of these articles about parenting twins or talk to some people with multiples and it feels like they are trying to make parenting twins far more unique or unusual than it is. Some of the things involved in parenting twins applies to parenting more than one child. Having twins in itself is special and unique. Why make it bigger than it is? Why say things in a way that puts down other moms, especially since most moms are moms of singletons? It feels like it is making a divide, when there is no need to create more mommy competition than there is already.

I was reading this article and it seemed to cover all the bases for most of the "unique" twin things I hear a lot, "9 things only parents of twins will understand," by Megan Shauri on FamilyShare. I went through the points she made regarding "unique twin things" and expanded on them, since many of them are not twin-exclusive, and some apply to sibling groups but are a little different for twins.

1. "People will ask inappropriate questions."

Totally agree with this one. We have heard some wildly inappropriate questions-- especially in front of our children-- as to how our twins were conceived. Even now I get asked if they are natural. But now that we have 4 children, we hear a lot of inappropriate comments, especially because they are all boys, these also said in front of my four precious children. Comments Ive heard from strangers:

"If I had 4 boys, Id put a gun in my mouth."

"Having 4 boys is the worst thing that I think could ever happen to me."

"Are you an alcoholic? I would be if I had 4 boys."

"God bless you because I cant think of a worse thing than having 4 boys."

"Better you than me because that sounds miserable."

I know the author was referring to fertility/conception when stating the inappropriate questions. When people ask about our boys ("Yes, all boys, all mine") they usually notice two are the same height and look the same ("Yes, they are identical twins") and I will sometimes hear if we "planned" them-- because using our magic looking glass we knew down the road that our 4th child would be another boy? So we thought lets do twin boys for children #2 and #3?

"Good Lord, Im so thankful I dont have twin boys."

"Twin boys! That is horrible. Wow, I have always wanted twins, but never twin boys."

"Im surprised you are out of the house and dressed. If I had twin boys, I would stay in bed crying all day."

Note on that: people really need to stop using the Lords name in vain to curse my blessings.

2. "You have to learn to speak twin."

This is the first point she makes that I truly dont agree with. Twin language? Really? This is one that just makes me shake my head...

Anyone who has raised a toddler knows how language gets warped and distorted as their child learns words. Dirty diaper becomes "bo bo;" water becomes "wah." Ive met people in adulthood who are still called by the name they referred themselves to when they were three-years old, unable to pronounce their full name.

Then you take two children learning language at the same time who spend all day together... yeah, they babble and sometimes it appears they have invented a little language. But they havent. They are babbling. We have taken our boys-- all 3 of the older ones-- on playdates where they are playing with their peers and their friends even seem to know what they are talking about.

I attribute this to the fact that these children are just used to not understanding a lot of what is being said to them. Up until that point in their cognitive life, they have had a world of people talking over them and at them. And so they are imitating what was modeled for them, just like they do with everything else. You give them a pot and a spoon, they pretend to cook {until they start beating their brother with the spoon...}.

Our boys have all gone to speech therapy. With our oldest, we were taught not to encourage his mutated words. Even when he said words in an absolutely adorable way, we were to repeat it back to him correctly so he learned the correct pronunciation. With our twins, we were taught not to encourage their "twin speak," even when it was hilarious. When one babbled a word incorrectly, we were to repeat it back correctly.

Honestly, we never had an issue with "twin talk." I have met many people that strongly believe in twin language. Strongly. We have had age appropriate babble from our children that seemed to be understood by each other-- even our oldest. Our twins would be fussing in their high chairs, yelling some undecipherable stream of words, and our oldest would say, "Mom, he wants the red car and he wants his blanket!" after my attempts of appeasing them failed. Our oldest would diligently fetch these items; his brothers would take them and instantly stop fussing, their attention fully absorbed in their treasures.

As our twins have grown, we have encouraged correct language. When we figure out a hard to pronounce word that they have been struggling over, we learn to recognize it in their speech and work with them on the correct pronunciation. It doesnt make sense to me to latch on to toddler speak and dub it twin language.

When I tell people, no, our twins do not have a secret language, they usually launch into how their cousins twins could read each others minds. One would just burst out crying and the other would go get a certain toy and the twin would stop crying because they just knew. My sisters and I were always very close and always anticipated/knew what the other sister wanted, just from our surroundings/past experience/knowing each other. Siblings have a bond. Twins have a leg up on this sibling bond because from their moment of conception they have been thrown together as a pair, even in familys where the sibling bond is often ignored or left to grow on its own without parental guidance.

3. "You will never stop being asked if they are twins."

My sisters and I look like replicas of each other. We used to find it so amusing when people asked us if we are twins. Sometimes we said yes; it was all a game to us. Now that Im grown with a set of identical twins... it isnt the game it was then. Our boys are three-years old and Im not sure I can really convey how often we are asked if they are twins. It isnt that I mind talking to people or that Im not friendly; I feel like I am very friendly and open. I love our boys and love talking about all of them. It is just that we get asked at every store, at every errand, at the guard shack driving on base, at Chick-Fil-A when we walk in the door, when we order, when we are sitting at our table, by the parents in the play area, by the fellow patrons around us, on our way out to the parking lot... We seem to go in waves of being asked if they are twins. We will only get asked on some of our errands and then other times we are asked e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e every time we go out. {Mind you, I do not dress our twins alike. I sometimes put all of our boys in matching/coordinating outfits for events and such, but not our every day wear.}

4. "There is no such thing as just running to the store quickly."

This point made by the author was one of those comments that make singleton parents glare at twin parents. Because leaving the house with one child is so easy and singleton parents have no idea how easy they have it?

As a parent of singleton first, I can tell you that it is not that easy. Our first child was a breath holder from 6 weeks to 3 years. It was intense. And going from buckling no car seats as a free agent adult to buckling a car seat every time you leave the house, it is a big change.

Now as a parent of 4, I can tell you leaving the house with one child is not the chore it used to be. Buckling one car seat and taking one child in when I have 3 more children in car seats staying home with Dad feels like much less work. That sounds like Im saying that one car seat is easy...

No, what Im saying is that it is relative. Having your first baby is a major learning curve. Having your fourth baby is much easier. Things dont surprise you so much. I expect to have some fussiness in the store, maybe some crying in the car. I expect babies to be loud and disruptive in public and know what age appropriate behaviors from our toddlers are. I enjoy going out and having one on one time with just one child and appreciate not having to do zone defense down the aisle of the commissary.

If I could go back in time there are so many things I would be much more relaxed about with our first, but I cant because I was figuring it out then. I had no idea what to expect at each of the ages and stages. There are definitely times now that I hear a mom of one complaining to me about how their house is a mess and I do want to laugh out loud, thinking about the uphill battle I have at home with our 4 children. But I have been in that moms shoes. I know how that mom feels and I know those feelings are real.

5. "The learning curve for sibling rivalry happens much sooner."

I think this really sums up a lot of the differences between twins and singletons, not the sibling rivalry, but that things happen much sooner. Instead of easing into balancing sibling groups, you are thrown into it. We went from one child to three children-- a big transition! As someone who rarely pushed a stroller with our first, I was then taking a stroller that could hold three children everywhere we went-- two infant carriers, two bottles, two sets of baby toys and blankets to keep track of, three children to balance. And when our twins became mobile it was much more difficult finding a place for our oldest to do toddler activities, like Playmobile sets. He would pull his toys away from one baby only to be accosted by the other baby. It was a lot for him to take in. Our style of parenting changed a lot going from one child to three children, though there has been a much smaller shift going from three children to four.

6. "They truly love being together."

This one is another stretch. How is this just twins? Our boys fuss and fight and bicker all day long. But they freak out if one of them leaves. They worry about the baby when I leave the house with just him, "Dont forget to feed him while you are gone!" Thank you, 6-year old; I will remember to do that! They worry when my husband leaves with any combination of them-- our 6-year old and a 3-year old; both the 3-year olds... They are so excited when their brothers come home after any amount of time away. "Where did you go?! Did you have fun?!" Whenever we go anywhere-- doctor appointments, piano lessons, etc-- and the one with me is offered stickers or suckers or treats, he demands 3 more for his brothers. They all look out for each other. We have encouraged from the beginning the sibling bond, the band of brothers. It is so important for brothers to have each others backs.

7. "It feels like your kids grow up faster."

It is weird to me having two pass through the phases together. It feels... different. We seem to hit the phases fast and furious. We binged on toys to make our day easier; we have so many baby toy hand-me-downs, two of everything, because it was easier to give them each a toy in their Bumbo. We had two swings, two bouncey seats, two, two, two. Two push lawnmowers, two Fisher Price poppers, two Fisher Price school buses... And then they grew out of it all and it is passed down to baby #4 who finds far more entertainment in his brothers than his toys.

Looking at baby #4, Im amazed at how old our twins are. We are out of the baby stage with them-- they are 3 years old! We are moving into the preschool years. How did we fly through that? I still remember the long evenings, double the colds, double the diapers...

And suddenly they are playing games with their big brother and our house is now three of everything. This was a Christmas of threes. Our garage has shifted from toys for our oldest {one of each} plus toys for our twin toddlers {two of each} to toys for our boys {three of everything}.

I think maybe now they are older and out of the extreme hands on baby phase, maybe it will feel more normal to have two children pass through the stages together. Maybe it will feel a little less intense than when it was two babies. I dont know. I am just floored that our oldest is now 6 years old. SIX. Not the tiny baby on my hip. Our twins are 3 years old. THREE. Not the round babies in cribs and diapers. And we have a fourth baby. What? How time flies!

8. "They will always be compared to each other."

There could be a whole article on this one alone. Yes, yes, yes, yes, a million times YES. We have 4 children and we have heard, "Does he sleep like the other ones? Does he eat like the other ones? Is he a good baby/bad baby/same baby as the other ones? Does he look like the other ones?" Normal, right? Yup.

But for twins, it is different. We hear that and then some. If one of our twins falls off the slide and starts crying, I hear, "Is he the sensitive twin?" If one of our twins is wearing mismatched clothes and the other twin is wearing what I picked out, I hear, "Is he the rebellious twin?" If one of our twins is throwing a fit in public, I hear, "Is he demanding twin?" If one of our twins says hi to the people asking if they are twins, I hear, "Is he the outgoing twin?" The are just labeled. Labeled everywhere we go no matter what they are doing. They are labeled as the twins and then people want to attribute each and every one of the smallest behaviors they are exhibiting at any given moment to which twin they are.

And when our oldest is noticed in the midst of the twin labeling, he gets asked, "Are you a good helper with your brothers?"

{Face palm}

9. "You will always be teaching people about twins."

Yup.

"My dad is a twin so I was sure I would have twins."

"My brothers cousins wife had twins, so I know my turn is next."

Read my blog post, "Identical or Fraternal {revised}."

What do you think of this list and of her article? Do agree that these are unique to twins or do you think they cover sibling groups as well?

 

View Megan Shauris article here: "9 things only parents of twins will understand," by Megan Shauri on FamilyShare?

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pregnancy weight loss how long | BEST SPERM COUNT WITH MODERATE EXERCISE

pregnancy weight loss how long

Male Factor Fertility and Exercise

As the old saying goes, "everything in moderation".
We know that women shouldnt do high impact and stenuous exercise while they are trying to conceive or already pregnancy.  This holds true for men and exercise as well. Moderate exercisers had the best sperm motility. Read more:

SEE ALSO: MALE FACTOR INFERTILITY AND IMPROVING SPERM COUNT NATURALLY (getpregnantover40.com)

(HealthDay News) — Men who get moderate amounts of exercise have better sperm motility than men who are less or more physically active, a new study finds.

Motility refers to the sperm’s ability to swim and move towards an egg, an important factor in fertility.

The study by researchers at Yamaguchi University in Japan included 215 men who provided semen samples and information about their physical activity levels. The men were divided into three groups: strenuous, moderate or light exercise. Age and body mass index were similar among the three groups.

The moderate-exercise group had the highest average sperm motility and the fewest men with less than 40 percent sperm motility (14.3 percent), while 31 percent of those in the light-exercise group and 27 percent of those in the strenuous-exercise group had less than 40 percent sperm motility.

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pregnancy yoga weight loss | Boys will be boys

pregnancy yoga weight loss

If you follow my blog, you might have read my post, "Mom to all boys." In it I say:

Why does it bother me so much hearing "boys will be boys?" Because, in my experience, people do not use that expression in regards to positive behavior demonstrated by my children.

To be honest, most of the time when I hear boys will be boys, parents are using it to justify their childrens bad behavior. It really bothers me.

I come back to that expression time after time and each time it just makes my skin crawl. Why are we teaching a future generation of men that their behavior is okay or justified due to their sex? It makes me think back to various jobs Ive held when men touched me inappropriately or said inappropriate things, once to a point that I had to report a guy. What if the manager had said, "Boys will be boys"?

I am not under some illusion that males and females think/act/are exactly the same and we need to drop all gender references. As our boys have grown, I have noticed our playdates with girls and boys have changed. In truth, our playdates {not everyday play in our own home or for our friends everyday play in their homes} have only really changed this past year. The boys and girls-- through no direction from the parents-- tend to split off or assign various roles to each group. The boys say, "We are knights and are defending the castle! The playground is the castle!" and they are off roaring around the playground with sticks and swords and imaginary bows and arrows. The girls say, "We are the princesses!" and they go in the castle, assigning bedrooms and nurseries and describing the imaginary dresses each of them are wearing. But this extreme division is only starting now. The younger siblings are following suit with the older siblings. When our oldest was 3 years old, he happily joined in on the game with whatever the boys or girls were doing. Now that our oldest is 6 years old, his little brothers trudge along after him, waving swords and occasionally wandering over to check out what is happening in the castle.

My problem is not with boys preferring one game over another or boys playing differently than girls. Our boys spend a lot of time sword fighting. All day long we have wrestling, sword fighting, bloody noses, fat lips, questionable injuries {"Is it broken? Is he fine?"}. Every thing that enters into our house is literally made into a weapon: stuffed alligators are swords, paper towel rolls are swords, paper folded round and round is a sword, pencils are swords, really short pencils are guns... Everything is a weapon. Even our 3 year olds grab long strands of grass and try to tie them to sticks to make bows and arrows. If you know me, you know I am not a fan of weapons. When I take our boys to play with other boys their age, they seem to all do this. They want to protect, to serve, to fight, especially these military children of ours who hear military talk all day {Soldiers! Sailors! Airmen! Marines! Duty! Honor! Courage! Commitment!}.

My problem is when all of the above behavior is immediately dismissed, justified, or permissible due solely to gender. Our oldest is 6 years old; our twins are 3 years old; our baby is 6 months old. We are still in the realm of "little kid play." Why is it okay for big boys to tackle our little boys to the ground as theyre crying and beat them with a foam sword? Why is it okay for big boys to chase a 3 year old down pelting him with Nerf bullets as the 3 year old screams in terror? Why is it okay for little boys to chuck rocks at our stroller with the baby inside? Why are we-- WOMEN-- justifying this behavior in front of our future generation of men by saying "hes all boy?" Since when is it okay for men to throw rocks at babies????

As a woman, that makes me angry. Why are we using our roles as influential women in these mens lives {because our boys will grow up to be men} to ingrain gender stereotypes in them?

Our boys are allowed to explore their creativity to the full extent. Our oldest has started playing Destiny {in small doses} with his dad and grandfather, an activity beloved by the men in my family. He plays Minecraft and revels in his successes. Our boys do wild sword fights where they make tents in their room and battle all afternoon. When we watch Lord of the Rings, they make KNex swords and reenact all the battles they see on the screen. Our 3 year olds are constantly on an Orc hunt. They are given the freedom and space to behave in the way that they wish.

However, we still have house rules. Older children must watch out for younger children. All children must have respect for babies. Respect is very big in our home. It is never acceptable to point guns or weapons at adults or babies, with the exception of adults who are willingly and knowingly joining in their game {such as a Nerf gun war}. We do not allow wild horseplay in our family room, where we have guests and babies, but we have a playroom and their bedroom for such activities. We feel that, especially indoors, they need to find appropriate ways to channel their behavior.

Dont get me wrong, our children do their fair share of far too rough play at home and at the playground. They do their fair share of hitting instead of using their words or sword fighting with unsuspecting friends. What I do is help teach and guide them on how we play with friends. "Why dont you ask her if she wants to play battle with you?" "When you pushed past him to go down the slide, you hurt him. Would you like it if someone did that to you?" "When we dont get our way, we use our words not our hands. You need to say that you are sorry and then take a rest with me for a few minutes."

Last night our boys were playing wildly with stuffed animals and one of our 3 year olds took it way too far. All the stuffed alligators {aka alligator swords} were taken away. We have rules for indoor play. "Do we play like that in the house? Is it okay to hit your brother when hes asking you to stop or not playing your game?" We have outlets for them. Our boys are allowed to play on our back porch where I can supervise them and they can get a little wild. We have games they enjoy doing, like puzzles, KNex, trains, cars, Legos, coloring. When they get too wild all together {as sibling groups can easily do}, we break them up and have them do some quiet activities on their own until they can play together and follow the rules. When it has gone so far down hill that they all just need a rest, I either send them all to sit on their beds {which means they took it way too far} or I have them take a break and watch a movie or read stories.

When we discuss their behavior with them, we do not make them feel that they are destined to be a certain way because of their gender. How would it make them feel being put in a little box due to their gender? And how does that make them relate to others based on their genders? We talk to them based on the incident, just like how we do all areas of our parenting-- not dragging in far past incidents, not heaping more and more trouble on them-- but discussing what happened then. "Do you think that you treated your brother fairly or unfairly?" "It is never okay to behave that way towards a baby. That was far too rough of play for a baby." There are definitely behaviors that we have constant issues with that we are continually working on. For instance, our oldest lately is playing way too rough with his brothers when they all go into their room {aka the coliseum}. We are really working on that because he views them far more as peers than as younger children-- when there is just over 2 and a half years between them in age. "If you want to go play in there with your brothers, you will follow the rules or you will have to find something else to do."

Why is this so important to us? Because we arent raising boys to be boys; we are raising boys to be men. We dont want them to be limited in their views or the future generation of old men to make racist/sexist/bigoted comments towards young mothers in Target {which I have had my fair share of}. Right now, being so young, they obviously dont have any bias regarding race or gender. We are starting to hear comments like, "This is the boys table, Momma," but our boys still happily play with all their little girl friends. One of our 6 year olds best friends is a little girl who trudges through our front bushes finding weapons with him one minute and then the next is teaching him all sorts of cool gymnastic/dance moves, which according to our oldest are very useful in battle.

As for race, our boys are still blissfully unaware of skin color-- or, rather, experience of racism. Our oldest is really drawn to Martin Luther King Jr right now {actually wants us to throw a birthday party for him}. When we read stories about him, he gets emotional that anyone would treat someone badly based on their skin color; I think it is hard for his little 6 year old brain to fathom tolerating or practicing racism. So far we have stuck to picture books on Martin Luther King Jr and the book "Pink and Say." We feel that equality is a conversation that is worth starting now, to get the vocabulary and understand that we are all people, that Christ died for us all.

Picture books are a great way to initiate these conversations and to help bridge any gaps that our children may encounter. As boys, they have encountered far more "bully" behavior than anything else. They get frequently told that behavior inflicted on them is okay because they are "boys playing with boys," mostly in playground situations where we are playing with strangers. For bully behavior, I love "Llama Llama and the Bully Goat." That book is great at pin pointing behaviors that our children frequently encounter and also helps outline a great way to help diffuse bully behavior. In the book, the bully goat has to sit next to the teacher through recess and for the rest of the day so she can help navigate his interactions with the other kids. When our boys have "bully goat behavior," as weve come to call it, I explain to them that they need to take a break for awhile with momma, mostly applicable to our 3 year olds who are still figuring life out. It has been a great resource for our oldest to recognize behaviors that he previously had a hard time processing. It upset him to have kids treat him in a way that hurt his feelings {or his body} and then have their parents tell him to suck it up because he is a boy. Now hes feeling far more confident in telling a child that he doesnt want to play with him anymore and moving away from him or alerting an adult of what is going on.

For gender issues, we focus on modeling the attitude we expect. They hear positive things about girls at home and do not hear gender stereotypes from either parent. We read books and encourage open play. Our boys have baby dolls and a variety of toys. The book "Just Like Me" actually sparked a lot of conversation regarding girls and boys as well as interaction with siblings. The twin girls talk about their similarities, but also their differences. All of our boys, twins and singletons, talked about how they are like that-- the same, but different. They also talked about how they are a lot like the girls in the book, which then evolved to how girls and boys have a lot of similarities and differences as well. This topic has been one that we try to let naturally penetrate our interactions with peers because we want them to see it in action, to respect males and females alike, and to recognize we are all people, despite our differences.

We have taken a similar approach with race as we have with gender-- that we model the attitude we expect. For our 3 year olds, we have followed the same path we took with our oldest at that age. We focus on the Bible, how Christ loves all of us, we are all people. As our oldest has grown, the conversation has changed, mostly due to his questions. Weve talked about how sometimes appearance and skin color is an indicator of your culture and different regions of the world. Weve talked about how America is a melting pot and weve even dove into some of the more sordid aspects of our history. A hero is always welcome to a 6 year old and so weve introduced him to Martin Luther King Jr, a hero he has really taken to. While with gender we have really tried to just let the conversation be without pushing any agenda, race is something that we have focused on introducing. We want them to be aware and conscious of how they treat others, as well as biases that they will need a response to.

In our house, "boys will be boys." We are proud of our boys. We love parenting boys and we want them to embrace who they are: young men. But we are going to do our best to raise these boys to be Christ following, conscious men who exude love, peace, faithfulness, and self-control.

To quote the movie Little Women:

Marmie: "Feminine weaknesses and fainting spells are the direct result of our confining young girls to the house, bent over their needlework, and restrictive corsets."

Meg: "Marmie, must you speak to everyone about corsets?"

Marmie: "Oh, Meg. Do I?"

Some things are worth talking about.

 

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baby weight loss day 4 | INFERTILITY HOLIDAYS AND HANDLING FAMILY

baby weight loss day 4

Trying To Conceive Over 40 and The Holidays

I posted this article last year, and I wanted to post it again during this holiday season. Even though trying to conceive unsuccessfully for many years isnt the least bit funny, the title of the article made me laugh (Fa la la la la blah blah blah blah). Oh how I felt like a big Scrooge every Christmas (it seemed like every holiday season was right after a miscarriage or failed fertility treatment). Katie gives some good advice for dealing with the holidays:

SEE ALSO: HOW STRESS CAN AFFECT YOUR ABILITY TO GET PREGNANT (getpregnantover40.com)

From the article:

 My heavily Catholic mother was fond of saying how “funny” it
was that she never wanted any children and had six, and I wanted them but
couldn’t seem to have any. She often repeated that my childlessness was
probably God’s way of telling me I wouldn’t be a good mother.
I had a great aunt who was going deaf who would pat my stomach and
holler, “Is anyone in there yet?” And then there are the idiotic bosses who,
after a few drinks, tell you to lighten up and offer to pinch hit for your
husband, ha, ha, ha.
 from: (www.mindbodyfertility.com)

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yoga after pregnancy weight loss | Mommy holidays

yoga after pregnancy weight loss

I woke up this morning after a long night with baby #4. Everyone seems to think hes teething, but I am not sure. I dont know why baby #4 is off, teething or a cold.

So after that night I came out this morning to a kitchen laden with dishes. That isnt an exaggeration. I have dishes on my stove top, piled in the sink, sitting in front of the microwave. Last night we made cookies. And dinner. And applesauce. Dinner required every bowl and blade of our food processor, which is still on the counter. Our kitchen is a mess.

Our children arent eating. I make them food and they dont eat it. After making room in our kitchen to make breakfast, only one of them ate. I gave them whole grain bread with cinnamon and raisins, toasted with lots of butter on top. Eggs made to order. Yogurt with strawberries and a banana to boot. Water, as requested. Our oldest, of course, ate all his food, but left his dishes on the table. One of our toddlers ate his yogurt and played with his egg for a bit while shredding his bread. Our other toddler rearranged his plate and spilled his yogurt all over the table. Most mornings I just give them a banana and then an hour later they are complaining about being hungry. I was hoping to avoid that this morning by feeding them foods they like, except all they ate out of a plate of "toddler food" was their banana. {Read: "Why do I feed our toddlers?"}

All through breakfast they argued over whos "team" they are on. Boy 1 and Boy 2 are on the same team, but Boy 3 cant be on their team. Boy 3 wants to be on their team. They argued over it. Boy 1 and Boy 2 tried sword fighting with yogurt spoons all through the meal. Boy 3 wanted to put all the food he didnt want to eat-- which was all of it-- on the table instead of on his plate. Boy 2 sneezed and covered himself with bubbling sticky snot. While covered in snot standing by the kitchen trash with Kleenex, he started unloading our trash can of things I "accidentally" threw away. Of course said items were covered in egg shells and coffee grounds, so I had quite the time cleaning up the snot covered/trash covered toddler. The cat discovered a strong love of yogurt and spent her time jumping up and swatting at the children while trying to eat their yogurt.

I have some Christmas shopping to finish up. I havent wrapped hardly any of our Christmas gifts. Im trying not to stress out over the Christmas items that we ordered weeks ago from Zulily that promised a Christmas delivery {where are they???}. I have a kitchen to clean. A house to clean. Fights to break up between our children. A fussy baby. I forgot to do advent calendars with the kids this year-- totally forgot. I gave myself a hair cut last night because it has been so long since I last had my hair cut and I have no idea when Ill ever find the time to get back in to the salon. 2 of our 4 children are congested; 1 more seems to be coming down with it.

Sometimes I feel like I have expectations in my mind of what family life is all about. I get this vision of our children in footie pajamas sitting under the tree watching the Christmas train and flipping through Christmas books while my husband and I snuggle on the couch watching stop motion films. I can feel a little overwhelmed when one boy is beating his brother with a Ravensburger puzzle and another is playing Minecraft on our tablet. This holiday season flew by. Where did all the time go? There are so many things I wanted to do. We still havent ridden a Christmas train {dont they keep running until New Years?}. We went caroling once and couldnt go to the next one due to an ill-timed doctors appointment. I cant help but feel that we must soak in this year because next year my husband will be back on a submarine and-- where? Out to sea? On shiftwork? Working? I dont know. I had the same feelings at Halloween {Read, "Mommy courage"}. As I write this blog post one of our toddlers is following our other toddler around the house taking his toys and generally picking fights. Seriously, all they have done since they got down from breakfast is fight. "That my toy! Hes touching me! Hes sitting next to me! Hes looking at me! Hes taking my toy!" Cant we just enjoy Christmas? Cant we just sing and snuggle and drink hot chocolate without counting who had how many cookies and who is touching your napkin or who is drinking too loud/fast/not enough/spilling/making a mess?

Wrapping everything they can get their hands on and putting it under our tree :)

I suppose this is family life. I know that when I go out with my girlfriends for dinner and hear about the shenanigans that went down while I was gone I laugh. I probably laugh until I cry at least once a day; our children seriously crack me up. There are moments where I want to pull my hair out. {I dont actually have to pull my hair out-- it is doing quite well falling out on its own. As a defense mechanism or maybe advanced evolution, some strands are turning gray and hanging on for dear life.} I cant imagine being anywhere else or doing anything else. I am going to miss this even next year when perhaps our 3-year olds dont wrap everything in sight, including my Target receipts and their bedtime stories, placing their "presents" under the tree. Im going to miss our 6-year old being so excited about a simple download, purchasing Minecraft for our tablet. Im going to miss baby #4 being almost 6 months old. He is so sweet with his smiles and hands grabbing my face to pull it in and look at me closer. I dont think I will miss the incessant 3-year old whining {times two}, but maybe I will; maybe I will laugh at how ridiculous and over the top and constant it was for that brief period in time.

As a little girl, all I wanted was to grow up, marry a prince, have babies, wear ball gowns, read books, and write novels. Ive since discovered that even when you marry your prince, it isnt all happily ever after. You have fights and miscarriages and arguments over finances and silent seething anger over the laundry. Your babies demand every minute and hour of your day while pulling your hair and destroying your house. You pour and pour and pour yourself into every minute of every day and wonder if anyone notices half of what you do. Your ball gowns dont fit one year to the next. You start 3 or 4 books and finish 2. You work and work on the Next Great American Novel and seem to get nowhere, not that you would ever find the courage to publish it.

There is an element of disenchantment to adulthood that I never anticipated. My mother is the most beautiful woman I have ever met and I just wanted to be her when I grew up and now I see that there is more to being a woman than what I thought as a child. She is all of the things I thought she was when I was a little girl, but more. She is far more patient than I ever thought. She gives far more than I ever thought. Her beauty and strength are much deeper and more powerful than I ever knew. I remember sitting by her vanity and watching her get ready as a girl. The smell of her powder, the hair spray still hanging in the air, her perfume. I was drawn to her. Drawn to finding my Mr. Darcy. Drawn to the freedom of adulthood, attending holiday balls and fantastic Christmas parties where I could have my first sip of champagne. Perhaps I need to be a little more patient and the Austrian nun will swoop in our house and suddenly our children will don matching outfits made from gorgeous curtains {not that we even have curtains hanging in our house} and sing in harmony. But life is messy. We are far more like the March family than the von Trapps, and that is okay. Im far more like my mother than I ever thought. There was a short period of time when I felt I didnt want to grow up to be exactly like my mother; now I cant imagine being anything else.

My prince is a submarine officer. My house full of children is all boys that cant find matching socks or clean shirts to save their lives. And our Christmases have their own twist of merry and bright.

Happy holidays from my family to yours!

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post pregnancy weight loss how long | TRYING TO CONCEIVE ON HOLIDAYS THERES NO FIREWORKS!

post pregnancy weight loss how long

Trying To Conceive and Independence Day

Remember those old re-runs of a program called "Love American Style" (or in my case you saw them the first time around)?
Fireworks represented the love and infatuation associated with your relationship and/or marriage. Well, no matter how good your relationship is, when youre trying to conceive, every aspect of your life revolves around ovulation. Intercourse can become a total chore and no, there are absolutely no fireworks. I remember a few years on independence day, I was ovulating and we could hear our neighbors shooting off firecrakers--there we were trying to "get the job done". UGGGGHHHH...not pleasant memories at all.

SEE ALSO: SHARING INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR INFERTILITY (getpregnantover40.com)

Independence day is another one of those family oriented holidays. All you see around you are families packing up the car to go watch fireworks displays, kid-oriented events, BBQs etc. Its another holiday where you stick out like a sore thumb. I recall going to a function with my husbands sister and their kids. We met a few of their friends and then the bomb dropped. One of their friends (who was there with his four kids) says to me..."Ill bet you guys have a bunch of kids right?" I was so taken off guard...he immediately sensed me squirming as I said sheepishly..."Uh no, we dont have any". End of conversation.
After that, we decided to have our own way of enjoying the holiday. We stayed away from BBQs and had a nice dinner out. Hey, whatever works. Im not saying you shouldnt join in (because we did that too), but you should do whatever helps you deal with the situation at the time.

So, whatever you do this holiday, please enjoy it safely and dont be afraid to go out and have some fun - even if its not in the traditional way.


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baby weight loss dvd | WOMAN 48 HAS SURPRISE PREGNANCY

baby weight loss dvd

Im constantly finding stories of women who conceive naturally at older ages.  Many women over 40 and over 45 think theyre too old to get pregnant and they forget about their birth control.  Here is a story of a women who had a surprise pregnancy at the age of 48!  Imagine her surprise not only because of her age, but because she already has a 28 year old child (and her husband who is 56 has a 36 year old).
Well, it just goes to show you that babies come when theyre good and ready.

SEE ALSO: SURPRISE PREGNANCY AT 49 (getpregnantover40.com)

from the article:

New mom Robin said she realizes that when shes 60, Noah will be 12. She says to that fact, "But with the way our children are with him, I know hes going to be loved and cared for no matter what happens to us."
New dad Mark recalls his thoughts upon finding out that his wife was pregnant, "When she told me she was pregnant, I said, Unbelievable. Its gotta be a mistake, you gotta go to the doctor. My concern was that they were healthy. When the doctor said that, I was excited about it."
Being a dad at this age will help keep him young, he said. Teaching Noah how to throw a baseball and other sports, "Im sure gonna try" he said.
Having lost a daughter when she was 18 in a car accident, Mark said "Maybe this is Gods way of repaying me."
from: pregnancy.org

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