is weight loss during pregnancy bad | Homeschooling kindergarten

is weight loss during pregnancy bad

We have started our oldest sons kindergarten year. I was a little nervous about starting kindergarten, not that I felt it would be hard, but that it is the first year that actually "counts." I put counts in quotations because there seems to be some debate in the South Carolina homeschool circles about whether or not you need to join an accountability group for kindergarten. I prefer to error on the side of caution, so I joined an accountability group for kindergarten. Thus, for us, this is the first year that counts. (Check out HSLDA for homeschooling laws: link to South Carolina homeschooling laws.)

I really like this post by Simple Homeschool called "The truth about preschool." The post is about homeschooling preschool and how most of preschool lessons are learned organically. I loved it and totally agree. I wrote a post awhile ago called "Homeschooling 5-year old preschool." I think it is really important at these ages for school to be fun. I view kindergarten as the beginning of a lifetime of schooling. My husband is in school right now with the Navy and, as he put it, training never ends for nukes. Why turn them off to school now? So we make it fun.

To make school fun, I really tried to focus on our sons style of learning and what he does well with. He loves structure, a regular routine (knowing what to expect), and a challenges in areas that he understands. He will avoid concepts that dont come naturally to him. He loves pleasing others and positive attention.

To make school easy for me, I wanted something flexible. I stay at home with our 4 children. My husband is going through the training pipeline and just started prototype, meaning long hours and rotating shiftwork. Since we plan on homeschooling for the next couple years (for now-- we are always open to what God planned for us), I want something that I can eventually use with our other children. I decided against a boxed curriculum and went with things that suited our oldests learning style, my learning style, and would be flexible and inexpensive enough to use with our other children. I love this post by The Busy Mom on "Choosing Curriculum the Simple Way." In that post she has this picture:

Picture courtesy of The Busy Mom

I love that. It is a good reminder. As a side note, you really should be following The Busy Mom on Facebook. She is wonderful. :)

Last year for 5-year old preschool, I used Saxon Math K Home Study Teachers Edition. My son and I really liked it. I really liked the lessons. I did not always follow the scripts, but felt the lessons gave us purpose and direction when sitting down together to work on math, even when I just used the book as a jumping off point. I also felt the lessons challenged him. I decided to continue with Saxon Math and bought Saxon Math 1 Home Study Teachers Edition. I dont like to buy anything I dont need, so I didnt buy the work books or the meeting book when I bought the teachers edition. Once I flipped through the book, I realized I would need the work books, so I bought them. When we actually sat down to do math I realized I needed the meeting book. I found all of them on Amazon after some searching. The work books were a little harder to find, but I did find them for a good price.

About a year ago I stumbled upon Sing, Spell, Write Level 1 for a great price at a homeschool consignment store. It was the entire kit so I bought it. I havent used it yet for reading this year. I decided to wait on that until I had built up his confidence in reading. He enjoys the sense of accomplishment when he reads a book, but he really only looks forward to math! I bought the Bob Book Kindergarten series at Costco; I love them! They really help him build on words and sounds he knows. It may not be his favorite part of the day, but listening to him read is my favorite part of the day. I love sitting down with him and helping him through a Bob Book. The best part is that I dont really need to help him that much! He doesnt even realize how much knowledge hes drawing from as hes reading through them. We have the pre-readers that we used last year. Im going to start doing some of those with our 3-year old toddlers. We are nearing the end of our kindergarten set so Im going to order the Beginning Readers and 1st Grade sight words for him next. After he feels like he has a good handle on reading, Im going to start Sing, Spell, Write. To help him with his phonics, weve been using the Star Wars Workbook Kindergarten Phonics and ABCs. When we were working through the Bob Books, he would get stuck on certain sounds-- like "ou" or "th." The Star Wars Phonics has helped him work on letter sounds even more in a way that he enjoys. Last year we took Ruth Beechicks approach to reading, which I liked; I just have been struggling with him and phonics. He didnt have much of an interest in reading until I combined it with Star Wars! ;)

For writing, weve been using a good old fashioned composition book. Ive been combining social studies and writing a lot by having him write down his address, his full name, his parents names and phone numbers, etc. Now we are working our way through the alphabet. We also do a lot of practical writing. He helps me write our shopping lists, notes to his dad, notes to our relatives, thank you cards, and the like. There is so much writing in day to day life. We write in his field trip notebook. He writes his name on top of his math worksheets. Ive tried to make the writing in the composition notebook short. Each day he heads his paper with his name, the date, and the subject. Then we write our sentence. For the alphabet, we write the letter is for blank. I have him pick what each letter is for. "B is for basketball." "D is for dude." "G is for Gatorade." It gets him thinking about letter sounds as well. What starts with a "G" sound? G-g-g-Gatorade. G-g-g-good, girls, golf, Granny... He comes up with all sorts of words that start with the sound before he decides on the word he wants to write down.

Science and social studies are pretty easy for us right now. My husband is in the military so social studies is part of our every day life. When he started prototype we read about submarines for awhile and their job. We talk about what it means to be in the military all the time, about public servants and various types-- government workers, EMTs, firemen, police officers, etc. We recently visited a Fire Museum and worked on our fire plan at home. Our boys are very interested in these types of things right now so we have long conversations about them.  When we pull over on the side of the road to let an ambulance pass, they ask, "Why did we pull over for the ambulance, Momma?" Science also happens organically at our house. Bike riding, tractor driving, KNex roller coasters, Legos, Matchbox car tracks, water table, Slipnslide, Play Doh... on and on. "If I do this, this will happen... Why?" Their minds are naturally curious right now. We conduct experiments. I ask our kindergartner to help me solve a problem. "My cookbook wont stay open. Can you help me?" He figures out how to keep it propped open or builds me something with KNex to do the job or thinks of some other solution. Sometimes I present them with a problem. "I cant get the Play Doh out of the bottom of this tube. What should we do?" And they give me solutions. I love to have them help me cook. So many learning experiences happen in the kitchen. "This pot is hot. Do you know why?" "What does half of a cup mean?" "How do they make flour?"

Our entire homeschool day takes about 1.5 to 2 hours from start to finish. With 4 kids, we like to do things that are fun for everyone. Right now, our 2 month old just wants to eat and sleep. We start off our homeschooling by saying the Pledge of Allegiance to the little flag weve attached to the top of our fruit stand. All 3 of our older boys participate in this. We then sit on the couch and someone says a prayer for the day, usually our kindergartner. The toddlers love crossing their little hands and bowing their heads. I think they feel like big kids, so they are usually content with that job and dont mind their older brother saying the prayer. I usually nurse our baby during this time. We then read a story from our One-Year Childrens Bible. We talk about what happened in the story, briefly. We then do our boys favorite part of the day which is reading a poem from Where the Sidewalk Ends. If it is a short poem with lots of imagery, I have them close their eyes and imagine the action of the poem. If it is longer with a picture (Shel Silverstein has awesome pictures), I hold the book so they can see the picture or let them discuss the picture before I start the poem. After I read the poem, I ask them what happened. For instance, we read a poem yesterday called, "Its Dark In Here." Basically a little boy gets swallowed by a lion and writes a poem from inside the lion. All he says in the poem is that it is dark in here and he stood too close to the lions cage. Asking what happened in the poem gets them thinking about the meaning of what they heard, re-telling me the story in their own words after they have digested it on their own. "When he stood too close to the lions cage, the lion grabbed him and ate him for lunch!" I love hearing how they interpret the action. The best part is that I then have them act it out. They love acting it out. Some of the poems lead in to other discussions, like, "If you were in this poem, how would you do it differently?" They love it. They love all getting a turn and hearing each other talk. They laugh a lot. I laugh a lot. It is one of my favorite parts of homeschooling, sitting with all our kids and laughing as they tell me stories and run wild with their imaginations. After we finish all this on the couch (and I feed the baby), we move on to the calendar and memory verse. I try to ask our oldest throughout the day what our memory verse is. Right now we are working on Psalm 91:14 and 15. I add pieces to it each week until he eventually learns the whole thing. We did this last year and he still has most of those verses memorized! Ill ask him his memory verse as we transition activities. About mid-way through this year, Im going to start giving our toddlers memory verses as well. Right now our oldest works very hard to teach them his memory verses. For our pocket calendar, I give them each a job-- the calendar helper, the days of the week helper, and the weatherman. The days of the week helper gets the calendar pieces out. Then we all go to the calendar and sing the days of the week song. Then the calendar helper puts the numbers in the calendar; the days of the week helper moves around the days of the week; the weatherman tells us what today looks like and puts in the appropriate weather tiles. After we are finished I use the Saxon Math script to discuss what today is. Then the calendar helper puts away the calendar pieces.

After all of that, I do school just with our kindergartner and set our toddlers up with something fun for them to do. Often they sit at the table and do "school" too. They get out their backpacks and crayons and paper and color while we work. Sometimes they do puzzles in the family room. Whatever they do, the rule is they do it quietly. Most of the time one of our toddlers works diligently at the table and the other builds with Legos in the playroom. This is when I either put our baby in the Tula or swing, depending on his disposition.

I start off kindergarten with writing in the composition book just how I previously described. He does that as I prep math and reading. After he writes, he does his Star Wars Phonics workbook and then we read the Bob Book. I try to do these first when he is freshest and most focused because he likes doing the other subjects more. After we finish that, we start on math. The lessons dont take very long at all. Then we do the worksheet front and back. If our day went slower than usual or his attention is elsewhere, I sometimes just have him do one side of the worksheet and have him finish the other side later or the next day. I check all his work, the composition book, the Star Wars book, and the math worksheets right after he fills them out. I let him make the mistakes as he goes and do not interfere. He often catches his own errors. When he gives me his work to check, I have him fix his errors and then give the satisfactory work a sticker. He likes to put the stickers on the top of the sheet. Then we move on to the next thing. After we have done all his work, we clean up our school supplies. If we did school in the morning, I have him practice his piano after school. He practices his lesson book and presentation piece and does his flash cards. If we did school in the afternoon, I have him go play for a bit before sitting down at the piano, let him clear his mind some. We usually do the theory book before I start cooking dinner or he works on it while I prep dinner. For science and social studies, I let those organically happen in our day. I look for opportunities to bring them into our play and conversation.

If we went on a field trip, we pull out the field trip notebook. Some field trips arent an entire days worth of school, like our nature bike ride at the park. We just drew pictures of what we saw in the field trip book. That trip is helping build the ground work for a unit study I am going to do on habitats with the all the boys. We are going to conclude our unit study with a trip to the zoo, but we have been talking about habitats without ever using the word or officially studying it since we started school August 4th. When we went to the Fire Museum, that was our whole day of school. We discussed dates and passing time (math), "Is this fire truck newer or older than that fire truck? How do you know?" I had him read the signs to me, read the pamphlet to me, all while making school fun. We came home and worked on our fire escape plan (social studies) and then wrote in our field trip notebook, drawing a picture of our favorite fire truck (science-- "How does that fire truck work?"). I love having them talk about what they liked best and hearing how they internalize books we read, stories they hear, or outings we take because I feel it helps them develop a love of books-- really feeling and connecting with stories.

I keep track of everything we do in the Homeschoolers Journal. I really like how it is laid out. It works well for me and is compact, which I like. I liked it for lesson planning last year with our preschool. I did a lot of unit studies last year. This year I plan on doing some. I like how unit studies are easy to involve both the age groups of our kids while still emphasizing with each child the concepts they need to learn, often in a hands on, natural way.

I also rely heavily on Smart Play by Barbara Sher. I stumbled upon this book in a used bookstore and bought it because it was cheap. I dont know why anyone would get rid of this book! It has the best ideas for fun, impromptu learning games with lots of kids. The other day we did our math lesson and then went outside for "Math Kung Fu." Hilarious! The boys were cracking up and counting karate kicks in the backyard. We have a lot of fun in this book.

A lot of our day is transitioning and waiting your turn. They are learning to listen to each other and respect what each of them has to say. They are learning to verbalize their thoughts and to speak up. It has been a lot of fun working with them on these concepts. Of course we carry this over into the non-schooling hours of our day, like when they help with chores and cooking. We have been putting a huge emphasis on cleaning up after ourselves. Weve been handing over responsibility to them and they have been rising to the occasion. I recently read Emma Jenners book Keep Calm and Parent On. This book is an amazing read for parents and especially homeschooling parents with more than one child. Your kids can and should help you! :) Weve been giving them responsibilities and expectations and are floored at how they have met each challenge. It makes our day-- my day-- so much happier and smoother when they are assisting me in real, practical ways, plus I think they are happier because they have more freedom (and less time outs). If I were to write a parenting book, it would read much like Emma Jenners philosophies. I wholly agree with her.

I hear a lot from people, "I cant believe you homeschool!" Homeschooling has been a blessing for our family. We didnt have an overly structured day last year when we homeschooled preschool, but it gave our play purpose. This year is much of the same. It has provided structure to our day. I burst into tears when we sat down on our first day of kindergarten this year and saw how our 6-year old had remembered all the letter sounds weve been working on and read-- actually read-- a book. It was amazing. I love those moments where I feel, "I taught him that?" I love when I see him applying things he learned from his dad. He changed the batteries in the swing by himself the other day as I made dinner. While he did that, he soothed the baby and then got the baby back to sleep once the batteries were changed. Its amazing to see our children behave like little people, little citizens finding their place in the world. I love that homeschooling allows us to play to our childrens strengths and to take things at our own pace. I know many of his 6-year old friends are entering kindergarten and first grade this year. Many already know how to read, but last year I could tell I was forcing reading on him and he was rejecting it so we switched gears and focused on letter sounds. This year he is ready for reading and is easily applying the phonics we learned last year. I love that we are teaching it to him in a way that makes complete sense to him and is enjoyable, not just for him, but for all of us.

The other nice thing is that there is a chance we will be moving this year. We started the year early so we could get as many days in as possible before my husband started rotating shiftwork. We also want to be able to take as much time off as we want for moving while still getting in our 180 days of school. When we move, we will be able to start school back up right where we left off, plus, when my hubby is on rotating shiftwork, our kids will be home to see their dad as often as possible. I feel like homeschooling really goes well with my husbands Navy career.

So thats our kindergarten plan! School has just started, but we are looking forward to the rest of the year! :) How are you homeschooling this year?

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best weight loss during pregnancy | All we are saying

best weight loss during pregnancy

 

 

Motherhood is challenging to navigate. There is so much out there on, well, everything.

 

"You must buy this!"

 

"If you want your baby to grow up feeling loved, do this..."

"Remember to always speak this way."

"Its the little things that count."

Even on this blog I talk about how I do things and about the products that I have liked with our boys.

But thats what they are: things that I liked.

That doesnt mean that you will like them or that you should parent how I do. It doesnt even mean that you should do things how I do. Im talking about things that work for me and my family.

Why?

Because I like reading about how other people do things. I like talking to other people and finding out about how they solve some of the more difficult challenges of motherhood, how they fix the small and big stuff. I like hearing other peoples family schedules. I like knowing that I am not the only one trying to solve a certain problem-- why are shoes always missing when it is time to get in the car? Why do our toddlers throw a fit during mealtimes? Why are organic foods so dang expensive? How is potty training so hard this time around when it went so well the first time around? Am I the only one sick of hearing the same twin comments over and over again and does it really matter who is older?

There is so much mommy judging out there, real and perceived. Sometimes comments that arent meant to be judgmental at all are taken that way.

For instance, we are a Navy family that has decided to go career. I hear from other military families, "We are finishing this tour and then hes getting out. We dont want to go career and put our kids through all that. It is too hard on them." Those people are not talking about my family. When I hear those comments, they arent talking about how my husband is going career and looking forward to putting our kids through deployment. No, they are discussing with a fellow military wife their own choices for their own families.

I hear, "I would have waited to have another baby after having twins as well." But they dont know that I had a miscarriage and a molar pregnancy. Im always surprised at how much this comment hurts. No, they do not know my history and they dont need to, but it always makes me want to share with the world about this baby that did exist, not for them, but for me. It was real and it happened.

Other comments are puzzling and hard to figure out their intended meaning.

"Thats great you are breastfeeding. It is so good for the baby." What does this mean? Do I need to fill them in on my breastfeeding history with my three other children? Or the fact that while I believe in benefits of breastfeeding, I think it is ludicrous that you cannot discuss breastfeeding without saying, "Of course I believe in the benefits of breastfeeding!" or giving a reason why you are bottle feeding. Heres what I think, mommas, truly and really: feed your babies how you feel is best. It is no one elses business.

"Im glad you arent one of those homeschooling families. You are only homeschooling this year, right?" Hmm. By "those" homeschooling families, do you mean Weird and Unsocialized Homeschoolers? And weve loved homeschooling so far. Not sure how long we will homeschool, but it seems to fit in with my husbands Navy career well. The kids and I love doing it. Im not sure what the future holds for us, but Im open to wherever God leads us.

And another hot topic, working inside the home versus working outside the home: "I could never stay home all day. I need to engage my brain/stay busy/do something..." or "I stay home because I want to be there to watch my children grow up..." Sigh. Moms, dont tear each other down. Sometimes those comments are not made at all to be a dig towards anyone else or their choices, current or planned. Yes, I stay at home, and, yes, I have my reasons why I stay at home with my children, but the reasons why I stay at home may not be the reasons why you stay at home. And the reasons why you work outside the home may not be the reasons why other moms work outside the home.

We are all moms and we are all working hard, whether we are working in the home, working outside the home, homeschooling, or getting the kids ready for school outside the home each morning-- public or private. Breastfeeding is hard; pumping is hard; exclusively pumping blows my mind; and bottle feeding... bottle feeding is hard (and expensive and time consuming). Twins are hard. Singletons are hard. New babies are hard. Toddlers are hard. Kindergartners... easier and harder all at once. One child is hard. Ive heard going from one to two children is way harder than going from two to three. Three children, hard. Four children, hard. Being a military wife-- hard. I know talking to my civilian friends that its not easy on the other side of things either. You know, marriage is hard.

There are so many challenges in life. So many hard times that you are brought to your knees and crying out to God to hold you and carry you through. There are so many unexpected speed bumps.

We need to stop judging either. We need to be careful how we phrase things. Yes, it is wonderful Im breastfeeding this baby; glad it worked out. Yes, the space between our twin toddlers and our newborn has been nice. Sometimes Im glad they are over three; sometimes I think it would have been easier if they were under three, like the gap between our oldest and our twins. We need to make sure that we arent wording the choices that work for our family in a way that sounds like we are judging other families. We also  need to make sure that we dont easily take offense. The best thing about life-- our freedom in Christ-- is that we are free to make the choices that God leads us to. We are free to go career Navy, free to get out, free to look at our children and say, "Okay, we need to switch gears. The path we are on is not working for us." We are free to homeschool using a boxed curriculum or piecing it all together. We are free to stay at home or free to work outside the home.

Be friends with who you connect with. Multiple mommas need singleton momma friends. Big families need small family friends. Working mommas need stay at home momma friends. Homeschooling mommas need public school momma friends. Mommas need friends without kids. Make friends with people older and younger than you, who have kids older or younger than yours. Be friends with positive people that lift you up and support you. The best friends you will make are the ones that pray for you and encourage you.

We are all in this together. Give peace a chance.

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pregnancy yoga weight loss | Boys will be boys

pregnancy yoga weight loss

If you follow my blog, you might have read my post, "Mom to all boys." In it I say:

Why does it bother me so much hearing "boys will be boys?" Because, in my experience, people do not use that expression in regards to positive behavior demonstrated by my children.

To be honest, most of the time when I hear boys will be boys, parents are using it to justify their childrens bad behavior. It really bothers me.

I come back to that expression time after time and each time it just makes my skin crawl. Why are we teaching a future generation of men that their behavior is okay or justified due to their sex? It makes me think back to various jobs Ive held when men touched me inappropriately or said inappropriate things, once to a point that I had to report a guy. What if the manager had said, "Boys will be boys"?

I am not under some illusion that males and females think/act/are exactly the same and we need to drop all gender references. As our boys have grown, I have noticed our playdates with girls and boys have changed. In truth, our playdates {not everyday play in our own home or for our friends everyday play in their homes} have only really changed this past year. The boys and girls-- through no direction from the parents-- tend to split off or assign various roles to each group. The boys say, "We are knights and are defending the castle! The playground is the castle!" and they are off roaring around the playground with sticks and swords and imaginary bows and arrows. The girls say, "We are the princesses!" and they go in the castle, assigning bedrooms and nurseries and describing the imaginary dresses each of them are wearing. But this extreme division is only starting now. The younger siblings are following suit with the older siblings. When our oldest was 3 years old, he happily joined in on the game with whatever the boys or girls were doing. Now that our oldest is 6 years old, his little brothers trudge along after him, waving swords and occasionally wandering over to check out what is happening in the castle.

My problem is not with boys preferring one game over another or boys playing differently than girls. Our boys spend a lot of time sword fighting. All day long we have wrestling, sword fighting, bloody noses, fat lips, questionable injuries {"Is it broken? Is he fine?"}. Every thing that enters into our house is literally made into a weapon: stuffed alligators are swords, paper towel rolls are swords, paper folded round and round is a sword, pencils are swords, really short pencils are guns... Everything is a weapon. Even our 3 year olds grab long strands of grass and try to tie them to sticks to make bows and arrows. If you know me, you know I am not a fan of weapons. When I take our boys to play with other boys their age, they seem to all do this. They want to protect, to serve, to fight, especially these military children of ours who hear military talk all day {Soldiers! Sailors! Airmen! Marines! Duty! Honor! Courage! Commitment!}.

My problem is when all of the above behavior is immediately dismissed, justified, or permissible due solely to gender. Our oldest is 6 years old; our twins are 3 years old; our baby is 6 months old. We are still in the realm of "little kid play." Why is it okay for big boys to tackle our little boys to the ground as theyre crying and beat them with a foam sword? Why is it okay for big boys to chase a 3 year old down pelting him with Nerf bullets as the 3 year old screams in terror? Why is it okay for little boys to chuck rocks at our stroller with the baby inside? Why are we-- WOMEN-- justifying this behavior in front of our future generation of men by saying "hes all boy?" Since when is it okay for men to throw rocks at babies????

As a woman, that makes me angry. Why are we using our roles as influential women in these mens lives {because our boys will grow up to be men} to ingrain gender stereotypes in them?

Our boys are allowed to explore their creativity to the full extent. Our oldest has started playing Destiny {in small doses} with his dad and grandfather, an activity beloved by the men in my family. He plays Minecraft and revels in his successes. Our boys do wild sword fights where they make tents in their room and battle all afternoon. When we watch Lord of the Rings, they make KNex swords and reenact all the battles they see on the screen. Our 3 year olds are constantly on an Orc hunt. They are given the freedom and space to behave in the way that they wish.

However, we still have house rules. Older children must watch out for younger children. All children must have respect for babies. Respect is very big in our home. It is never acceptable to point guns or weapons at adults or babies, with the exception of adults who are willingly and knowingly joining in their game {such as a Nerf gun war}. We do not allow wild horseplay in our family room, where we have guests and babies, but we have a playroom and their bedroom for such activities. We feel that, especially indoors, they need to find appropriate ways to channel their behavior.

Dont get me wrong, our children do their fair share of far too rough play at home and at the playground. They do their fair share of hitting instead of using their words or sword fighting with unsuspecting friends. What I do is help teach and guide them on how we play with friends. "Why dont you ask her if she wants to play battle with you?" "When you pushed past him to go down the slide, you hurt him. Would you like it if someone did that to you?" "When we dont get our way, we use our words not our hands. You need to say that you are sorry and then take a rest with me for a few minutes."

Last night our boys were playing wildly with stuffed animals and one of our 3 year olds took it way too far. All the stuffed alligators {aka alligator swords} were taken away. We have rules for indoor play. "Do we play like that in the house? Is it okay to hit your brother when hes asking you to stop or not playing your game?" We have outlets for them. Our boys are allowed to play on our back porch where I can supervise them and they can get a little wild. We have games they enjoy doing, like puzzles, KNex, trains, cars, Legos, coloring. When they get too wild all together {as sibling groups can easily do}, we break them up and have them do some quiet activities on their own until they can play together and follow the rules. When it has gone so far down hill that they all just need a rest, I either send them all to sit on their beds {which means they took it way too far} or I have them take a break and watch a movie or read stories.

When we discuss their behavior with them, we do not make them feel that they are destined to be a certain way because of their gender. How would it make them feel being put in a little box due to their gender? And how does that make them relate to others based on their genders? We talk to them based on the incident, just like how we do all areas of our parenting-- not dragging in far past incidents, not heaping more and more trouble on them-- but discussing what happened then. "Do you think that you treated your brother fairly or unfairly?" "It is never okay to behave that way towards a baby. That was far too rough of play for a baby." There are definitely behaviors that we have constant issues with that we are continually working on. For instance, our oldest lately is playing way too rough with his brothers when they all go into their room {aka the coliseum}. We are really working on that because he views them far more as peers than as younger children-- when there is just over 2 and a half years between them in age. "If you want to go play in there with your brothers, you will follow the rules or you will have to find something else to do."

Why is this so important to us? Because we arent raising boys to be boys; we are raising boys to be men. We dont want them to be limited in their views or the future generation of old men to make racist/sexist/bigoted comments towards young mothers in Target {which I have had my fair share of}. Right now, being so young, they obviously dont have any bias regarding race or gender. We are starting to hear comments like, "This is the boys table, Momma," but our boys still happily play with all their little girl friends. One of our 6 year olds best friends is a little girl who trudges through our front bushes finding weapons with him one minute and then the next is teaching him all sorts of cool gymnastic/dance moves, which according to our oldest are very useful in battle.

As for race, our boys are still blissfully unaware of skin color-- or, rather, experience of racism. Our oldest is really drawn to Martin Luther King Jr right now {actually wants us to throw a birthday party for him}. When we read stories about him, he gets emotional that anyone would treat someone badly based on their skin color; I think it is hard for his little 6 year old brain to fathom tolerating or practicing racism. So far we have stuck to picture books on Martin Luther King Jr and the book "Pink and Say." We feel that equality is a conversation that is worth starting now, to get the vocabulary and understand that we are all people, that Christ died for us all.

Picture books are a great way to initiate these conversations and to help bridge any gaps that our children may encounter. As boys, they have encountered far more "bully" behavior than anything else. They get frequently told that behavior inflicted on them is okay because they are "boys playing with boys," mostly in playground situations where we are playing with strangers. For bully behavior, I love "Llama Llama and the Bully Goat." That book is great at pin pointing behaviors that our children frequently encounter and also helps outline a great way to help diffuse bully behavior. In the book, the bully goat has to sit next to the teacher through recess and for the rest of the day so she can help navigate his interactions with the other kids. When our boys have "bully goat behavior," as weve come to call it, I explain to them that they need to take a break for awhile with momma, mostly applicable to our 3 year olds who are still figuring life out. It has been a great resource for our oldest to recognize behaviors that he previously had a hard time processing. It upset him to have kids treat him in a way that hurt his feelings {or his body} and then have their parents tell him to suck it up because he is a boy. Now hes feeling far more confident in telling a child that he doesnt want to play with him anymore and moving away from him or alerting an adult of what is going on.

For gender issues, we focus on modeling the attitude we expect. They hear positive things about girls at home and do not hear gender stereotypes from either parent. We read books and encourage open play. Our boys have baby dolls and a variety of toys. The book "Just Like Me" actually sparked a lot of conversation regarding girls and boys as well as interaction with siblings. The twin girls talk about their similarities, but also their differences. All of our boys, twins and singletons, talked about how they are like that-- the same, but different. They also talked about how they are a lot like the girls in the book, which then evolved to how girls and boys have a lot of similarities and differences as well. This topic has been one that we try to let naturally penetrate our interactions with peers because we want them to see it in action, to respect males and females alike, and to recognize we are all people, despite our differences.

We have taken a similar approach with race as we have with gender-- that we model the attitude we expect. For our 3 year olds, we have followed the same path we took with our oldest at that age. We focus on the Bible, how Christ loves all of us, we are all people. As our oldest has grown, the conversation has changed, mostly due to his questions. Weve talked about how sometimes appearance and skin color is an indicator of your culture and different regions of the world. Weve talked about how America is a melting pot and weve even dove into some of the more sordid aspects of our history. A hero is always welcome to a 6 year old and so weve introduced him to Martin Luther King Jr, a hero he has really taken to. While with gender we have really tried to just let the conversation be without pushing any agenda, race is something that we have focused on introducing. We want them to be aware and conscious of how they treat others, as well as biases that they will need a response to.

In our house, "boys will be boys." We are proud of our boys. We love parenting boys and we want them to embrace who they are: young men. But we are going to do our best to raise these boys to be Christ following, conscious men who exude love, peace, faithfulness, and self-control.

To quote the movie Little Women:

Marmie: "Feminine weaknesses and fainting spells are the direct result of our confining young girls to the house, bent over their needlework, and restrictive corsets."

Meg: "Marmie, must you speak to everyone about corsets?"

Marmie: "Oh, Meg. Do I?"

Some things are worth talking about.

 

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yoga after pregnancy weight loss | Mommy holidays

yoga after pregnancy weight loss

I woke up this morning after a long night with baby #4. Everyone seems to think hes teething, but I am not sure. I dont know why baby #4 is off, teething or a cold.

So after that night I came out this morning to a kitchen laden with dishes. That isnt an exaggeration. I have dishes on my stove top, piled in the sink, sitting in front of the microwave. Last night we made cookies. And dinner. And applesauce. Dinner required every bowl and blade of our food processor, which is still on the counter. Our kitchen is a mess.

Our children arent eating. I make them food and they dont eat it. After making room in our kitchen to make breakfast, only one of them ate. I gave them whole grain bread with cinnamon and raisins, toasted with lots of butter on top. Eggs made to order. Yogurt with strawberries and a banana to boot. Water, as requested. Our oldest, of course, ate all his food, but left his dishes on the table. One of our toddlers ate his yogurt and played with his egg for a bit while shredding his bread. Our other toddler rearranged his plate and spilled his yogurt all over the table. Most mornings I just give them a banana and then an hour later they are complaining about being hungry. I was hoping to avoid that this morning by feeding them foods they like, except all they ate out of a plate of "toddler food" was their banana. {Read: "Why do I feed our toddlers?"}

All through breakfast they argued over whos "team" they are on. Boy 1 and Boy 2 are on the same team, but Boy 3 cant be on their team. Boy 3 wants to be on their team. They argued over it. Boy 1 and Boy 2 tried sword fighting with yogurt spoons all through the meal. Boy 3 wanted to put all the food he didnt want to eat-- which was all of it-- on the table instead of on his plate. Boy 2 sneezed and covered himself with bubbling sticky snot. While covered in snot standing by the kitchen trash with Kleenex, he started unloading our trash can of things I "accidentally" threw away. Of course said items were covered in egg shells and coffee grounds, so I had quite the time cleaning up the snot covered/trash covered toddler. The cat discovered a strong love of yogurt and spent her time jumping up and swatting at the children while trying to eat their yogurt.

I have some Christmas shopping to finish up. I havent wrapped hardly any of our Christmas gifts. Im trying not to stress out over the Christmas items that we ordered weeks ago from Zulily that promised a Christmas delivery {where are they???}. I have a kitchen to clean. A house to clean. Fights to break up between our children. A fussy baby. I forgot to do advent calendars with the kids this year-- totally forgot. I gave myself a hair cut last night because it has been so long since I last had my hair cut and I have no idea when Ill ever find the time to get back in to the salon. 2 of our 4 children are congested; 1 more seems to be coming down with it.

Sometimes I feel like I have expectations in my mind of what family life is all about. I get this vision of our children in footie pajamas sitting under the tree watching the Christmas train and flipping through Christmas books while my husband and I snuggle on the couch watching stop motion films. I can feel a little overwhelmed when one boy is beating his brother with a Ravensburger puzzle and another is playing Minecraft on our tablet. This holiday season flew by. Where did all the time go? There are so many things I wanted to do. We still havent ridden a Christmas train {dont they keep running until New Years?}. We went caroling once and couldnt go to the next one due to an ill-timed doctors appointment. I cant help but feel that we must soak in this year because next year my husband will be back on a submarine and-- where? Out to sea? On shiftwork? Working? I dont know. I had the same feelings at Halloween {Read, "Mommy courage"}. As I write this blog post one of our toddlers is following our other toddler around the house taking his toys and generally picking fights. Seriously, all they have done since they got down from breakfast is fight. "That my toy! Hes touching me! Hes sitting next to me! Hes looking at me! Hes taking my toy!" Cant we just enjoy Christmas? Cant we just sing and snuggle and drink hot chocolate without counting who had how many cookies and who is touching your napkin or who is drinking too loud/fast/not enough/spilling/making a mess?

Wrapping everything they can get their hands on and putting it under our tree :)

I suppose this is family life. I know that when I go out with my girlfriends for dinner and hear about the shenanigans that went down while I was gone I laugh. I probably laugh until I cry at least once a day; our children seriously crack me up. There are moments where I want to pull my hair out. {I dont actually have to pull my hair out-- it is doing quite well falling out on its own. As a defense mechanism or maybe advanced evolution, some strands are turning gray and hanging on for dear life.} I cant imagine being anywhere else or doing anything else. I am going to miss this even next year when perhaps our 3-year olds dont wrap everything in sight, including my Target receipts and their bedtime stories, placing their "presents" under the tree. Im going to miss our 6-year old being so excited about a simple download, purchasing Minecraft for our tablet. Im going to miss baby #4 being almost 6 months old. He is so sweet with his smiles and hands grabbing my face to pull it in and look at me closer. I dont think I will miss the incessant 3-year old whining {times two}, but maybe I will; maybe I will laugh at how ridiculous and over the top and constant it was for that brief period in time.

As a little girl, all I wanted was to grow up, marry a prince, have babies, wear ball gowns, read books, and write novels. Ive since discovered that even when you marry your prince, it isnt all happily ever after. You have fights and miscarriages and arguments over finances and silent seething anger over the laundry. Your babies demand every minute and hour of your day while pulling your hair and destroying your house. You pour and pour and pour yourself into every minute of every day and wonder if anyone notices half of what you do. Your ball gowns dont fit one year to the next. You start 3 or 4 books and finish 2. You work and work on the Next Great American Novel and seem to get nowhere, not that you would ever find the courage to publish it.

There is an element of disenchantment to adulthood that I never anticipated. My mother is the most beautiful woman I have ever met and I just wanted to be her when I grew up and now I see that there is more to being a woman than what I thought as a child. She is all of the things I thought she was when I was a little girl, but more. She is far more patient than I ever thought. She gives far more than I ever thought. Her beauty and strength are much deeper and more powerful than I ever knew. I remember sitting by her vanity and watching her get ready as a girl. The smell of her powder, the hair spray still hanging in the air, her perfume. I was drawn to her. Drawn to finding my Mr. Darcy. Drawn to the freedom of adulthood, attending holiday balls and fantastic Christmas parties where I could have my first sip of champagne. Perhaps I need to be a little more patient and the Austrian nun will swoop in our house and suddenly our children will don matching outfits made from gorgeous curtains {not that we even have curtains hanging in our house} and sing in harmony. But life is messy. We are far more like the March family than the von Trapps, and that is okay. Im far more like my mother than I ever thought. There was a short period of time when I felt I didnt want to grow up to be exactly like my mother; now I cant imagine being anything else.

My prince is a submarine officer. My house full of children is all boys that cant find matching socks or clean shirts to save their lives. And our Christmases have their own twist of merry and bright.

Happy holidays from my family to yours!

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pregnancy weight loss after delivery | Homeschooling 3 and 4 year old preschool

pregnancy weight loss after delivery

Ive received several emails and Facebook comments lately regarding homeschooling preschool. I wrote a post called "Homeschooling 5-year old preschool." I feel 5-year old preschool was different from his previous years of preschool because he was technically old enough to be a kindergartner, but we decided against doing kindergarten that year. Instead we did another year of preschool with him, just with a more focused direction; he is a child that loves order, structure, and routine.

When considering preschool, there are many different schools of thought. Some really focus on early learning and some focus on play based learning and some on "unschooling." I dont like labels, so I will just describe our thinking when it comes to preschool. I think preschool should be fun. I think it should be play based learning. I think that preschool should focus on character building and how to interact with others. I think it should build a childs confidence and get them excited about learning. Preschool should incorporate the fundamentals of learning-- ABCs, 123s, shapes-- in a fun, play based environment. I referenced this article in my last post on kindergarten, Simple Homeschools "The truth about preschool." That article entirely sums up my thoughts on preschool.

When our oldest was 4-years old we put him in a church preschool program. At that time, our twins were keeping me very busy and I felt like I needed him in something that helped him with his desire for a routine. The program was great. I was surprised, however, at how hard it was to find a preschool program that didnt have a curriculum or focus on subjects. One preschool even had math worksheets-- excessive! We eventually found a program that worked for us-- play based, focusing on character development, interacting with others, and fostering their independence. It was a great program for him and I got a lot of great ideas from it for how I want to homeschool. I really loved how the teachers merged play with learning. When we moved from North Carolina, I was sad to leave the school because I was planning on having him attend their 5-year old preschool program.

One thing that I do not miss about preschool is the preschool schedule. (Yes, I wrote a whole blog post on it, "Preschool schedule.") After we moved last year and were doing 5-year old preschool, we had a lot of hits to our daily routine and by the end of the year we didnt have too much of a daily routine. I had several things on our schedule each week, like a park playdate and storytime, but the middle of the day was often chaotic. Mealtimes slipped into snacktimes; naptimes became movie times on the coach while I napped. The joys of my husbands power school schedule and pregnancy! By the beginning of the summer I was ready to have my body back (being pregnant in the south in the summer is not ideal) and ready for a regular routine. I debated over the summer if I should try to sign the boys up for drop-off camps over the summer, but not knowing if my husband was going to start prototype early in the summer (he didnt) and the unknowns of our routine once baby #4 came prevented me from committing to any day camps. The memory of how inconvenient pick ups and drops were in our day for his 4-year old preschool year is still fresh in my mind. Ive loved that homeschooling happens at our kitchen table, sometimes in pajamas and sometimes over pancakes-- no interruptions to our schedule!

So the big question: what are we doing for preschool this year? What materials are we using for preschool?

To answer the first question, we are doing what we normally do for preschool this year-- life as usual. I didnt have our oldest in a preschool program at 3-years old. I dont plan on putting our toddlers in a preschool program this year. Our big plan for preschool this year is to incorporate their learning in our daily life. I do involve them in some of our homeschool day. If you read the blog post, "Homeschooling kindergarten," I explain that I have all 3 boys say the Pledge of Allegiance, pray for our day, listen to our Bible story, read a poem together and act it out, and do the calendar each day. They are involved in that because that is what Im doing with their older brother for kindergarten. To answer the second question, I have not bought them any special preschool materials and dont use any curriculum with them, not even the Saxon Math book that I used for 5-year old preschool and no special books.

This year with the toddlers we are really focusing on independence. If they want to wear socks, they must put them on. I will help them if they are truly stuck, but they must try first. We problem solve. "If your sock isnt going when you pull it on that way, why not try a different way?" We focus on cleaning up the mess they make. "That was really fun to play with the cars and trucks. Now we get to put them away! How about you start on the cars and then do the trucks?" I help them break down the mess in their mind so they are able to tackle it-- clean up the cars, then clean up the trucks. Once the big toys are put away, they are able to pick up all the smaller action figures quite easily. I involve them in making lunch and baked goods. We work on taking our time and doing things right, "Can you carefully pour the sugar in the mixing bowl?" We work on them following directions, even when it is hard, "Before you go outside, lets get the family room tidied up, please." A big one that has been challenging for all 3 of them is assisting others, which teaches sympathy. "Your brother is sad. Why dont you go ask him what is bothering him and see if you can help?" "I think your brother is having a hard time cleaning up his mess. Why dont you go see what you do can to help him?" Most of the time I hear, "But I didnt make that mess!" Im really surprised at how they have responded to this last one. Im hearing them more and more slow down to help each other out, "Whats wrong, brother?" and I love their sense of pride and camaraderie once the job is done, "I helped him put away his blocks! We were a team!" "He helped me! Thank you, brother!" We put a lot of emphasis on waiting your turn. "Excuse me, your brother wasnt done telling his story. Lets let him finish and then I would love to hear what you have to say." I love Emma Jenners book, Keep Calm and Parent On, for setting expectations on our kids.

The other things we are learning through our everyday life-- shapes, ABCs, and 123s. We read about them in our stories before nap and before bed. We talk about them as we do art, make cookies, go to the park. We talk about colors. We do puzzles. We do all this stuff for fun. We just play and I bring in the learning, drawing their attention to something they are naturally connecting. "My blanket is the same color as a fire truck." Well, what color is the fire truck?

I mentioned in my blog post "Homeschooling kindergarten" that later this year I will have them start memorizing memory verses. This is something that we have been doing with our oldest since he was 3-years old. We used the verses he was learning at AWANAS, which we have not been able to fit into our schedule last year or this year, and discussed them throughout the day. I love memorizing Bible verses with the kids because I feel that it teaches lots of things. We write the verse down and will point to it as we say it-- it teaches words have meaning. When they see the memory verse card, they often start recognizing letters, "Thats an A, Momma!" They see the letters outside of their alphabet books and puzzles and start looking for them everywhere, "Momma, I see another A!" I also love that it helps them learn to retain things I teach them. The other thing about memory verses is that choosing key verses helps teach them things about their own behavior and Gods character. We learn to forgive because God forgives. We learn to examine our own actions, was I being fair to my brother? We learn to say Im sorry without prompting from a parent. Right now we talk about their older brothers memory verses and we use various phrases when dealing with conflict with each other, "Was that a kind thing to do to your brother? Do you think that made him feel happy or sad?" "How do you think we could show your dad we love him when he comes home?"

Next year our toddlers will do another year of preschool. They will be 4-years old at the beginning of the year and turn 5-years old during the year. I will probably start some of the methods that I used doing 5-year old preschool with their older brother. We will do letters of the week or colors of the week. Preschoolers love show and tell. During Red Week, Ill have them show and tell us about something red. During "A" week, Ill have them show and tell us about something that starts with an A. Ill probably use our Saxon Math K book again. Ive liked Saxon Math because the scripts are there to help explain something if you want them. I also like that it completely explains a certain activity, like introducing them to money or manipulating linking cubes or using counting bears. I like the Math K book because it was a great resource for me to find ideas for an activity if I needed help coming up with some sort of lesson for the day. I could open up Saxon Math K, read a lesson that involved counting bears, pull out the counting bears and say, "Okay, lets play with these for awhile." Then I could guide the play in a way that taught the lesson. That is how I most often used the book-- getting ideas, reading the scripts, and then applying it in a way that fit our preschool technique.

I really like unit studies for preschool. One unit study we did last year was on water. We just talked a lot about water. What happens if we get water really hot? What happens if we get water really cold? What letters are in the word water? What makes letter makes a "whu-" sound? Where do we find water? What animals live in water? Lets read books that have water in them. What movies have water in it? What do we call water that comes from the sky? What is water good for? On and on and on... So many fun experiments and lessons you can do in a unit study. Library trips. Movies. Books. Unit studies are great too because it really lets the preschoolers imagination run wild and lets them ask questions and find answers. (Unit studies are also a great way to include kids of different ages!)

How do you keep preschool fun?

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weight loss after pregnancy youtube | Saying good bye

weight loss after pregnancy youtube

Ive been a military wife for almost 8 years now. Weve lived at 4 different duty stations and we are getting ready to move again. While the routine of moving has become {somewhat} familiar, saying good-bye has never become easier. Yesterday a good friend of mine moved away. While I plan on visiting her at their new duty station in the next couple months, I dont know when we will ever {if we will ever} be next door neighbors again.

There were many things I loved about living next door to this friend. She always had what I needed, for one. This could range from butter to wine to baby-sitting. She also always had a plate of cookies for us, always was up for a Target run, always ready for a girls night-- planned or not. We shared laughs, bottles of wine {or champagne in one lovely evening}, and tears. Shes not much of a hugger, but I managed to get several big hugs from her {yay!}. We had game nights. I could always pop over to her house for an hour or two after my husband came home, taking no children with me, soaking up a much needed break and going home feeling refreshed when my hubby finally called to say the baby was hungry. To quote Little Women, we bore our souls and shared the most appalling secrets.

Over my time as a military family, we have made many wonderful friends along the way. I dont always feel like when I meet people that they know me, who I actually am, not just who I am right then. There are seasons of our life-- seasons where Im dealing with pregnancy, newborns, strange schedules kept by my husband... seasons where I feel sad or lonely because Im struggling to make friends and feeling Im getting nowhere. But I dont feel defined by those seasons. I feel like myself passing through times in my life where I am dealing with various things. Sometimes when I meet people in the midst of those seasons, I think they get to know me right then, despite my best efforts to show them my crazy. I feel like this friend got to know me. My heart. And accepted me warmly. I feel like I got to know her. It was one of those rare times in life where you meet someone and recognize a part of yourself in them, despite all the differences between you-- because her and I were very different in a lot of ways, but very similar in many others. Then throw in the added bonus that my husband and her husband became friends, our kids got along great, and we were next door neighbors... this all added up to a perfect best friend cocktail. {And who doesnt love a cocktail?}

Last night when I was crying, my husband told me that it is always better to make friends and have your heart broken when they move than to not put yourself out there and to not make friends. I fully agree. However, today as I write this blog post and see her pile of recycling sitting outside her empty house, I cant help but feel sad. It hurts to say good-bye to people that you love, whether youve known them a long time or for just a year. Because a year is long enough to form a deep friendship, especially when that friendship just clicks.

Today my house feels a little different. The dust of military life has settled over it. We have said many hellos and good-byes along the way and some were felt more deeply than others. One thing that comforts me is that military wives are good at is using technology-- new and old-fashioned-- to keep in touch. We believe in mailing cards, Skyping, texting, Facebooking, and visiting. I loved living next door to my friend. I know that we will keep in touch and visit each other often. I am just sad to see this chapter close because I enjoyed it so much.

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