Showing posts with label navy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label navy. Show all posts

Friday, April 1, 2016

pregnancy with weight loss surgery | Happy Mothers Day from Kimbers Navy Family

pregnancy with weight loss surgery




The other day our boys were exhausted from a busy day out. Since they no longer nap, I brought them upstairs to watch a movie and (hopefully) rest for awhile. Sitting in my arm chair with a 10-month old nursing/sleeping in my lap, 2 4-year olds spacing out on my bed to "101 Dalmatians," and a 6-year old flipping through his Highlights magazine on the floor, I did what all moms do when trapped in front of the same movie we have watched 100,000,000 times before: I grabbed my phone and started reading blogs. Well, then I switched to Facebook and started reading comments. One Humans of New York post stuck out in my mind. It showed a woman beautifully dressed for the Met Gala. She mentions how life with a one-month old is different than how she thought it would be and how she didnt let her baby near her dress. Many people commented on it saying, "Oooh! FIRST TIME MOM!" One comment has been rolling around in my mind since I read it: how snarky moms with 3, 4, and 5 kids are, how they think they are better than everyone else just because they have a ridiculous amount of kids, how they dismiss everything moms with 1 and 2 kids are going through because they "only" have 1 or 2 kids, how we are all moms and should be supporting each other instead of bullying each other, and, finally, how we all walk through this motherhood journey differently.

Whew! When I read that comment, I first thought, "Wow, this lady really does not like moms with 3+ children." Then I started thinking about it. Do moms with many really sound so judgy? As a mom of 4, I would like to think not. But then I started thinking back to a lot of comments I heard when I started my motherhood journey, how irritated I would get when people poo-pooed my concerns by patting me on the head and saying, "First time mom, eh?" I also started thinking about how my thinking has changed from my first pregnancy to our last pregnancy and from our firstborn to our last born. There has been a significant shift in my thinking and I do parent differently. I noticed it after we had twins (our second and third children), but Ive really noticed it with our fourth baby. Much of what I did differently with our twins I attributed to the fact that we had twins after a singleton. However, with our fourth baby, Ive really noticed a difference in my mothering than with our first child and our second and third children.

What differences am I talking about? Ive actually written a couple blog posts about this topic before. One of them about "becoming my parents" and how I understand many of their parenting decisions the longer I mother; one of them about how differently I view our childrens ages and my expectations of them this time around now that Im not a "first time mom." In a general sense, the biggest difference, to me, between having my first baby and having my fourth baby is that I know how quickly the infant stage passes. Being a person that thoroughly enjoys the baby stage, I now have first hand experience that the sleepless nights, the colic, the breastfeeding, the pumping, the bottle-feeding, the baby foods, the diapers, the footie-pajamas with 100 snaps that never line up correctly, the spit-up, and the fussy evenings fly by before you even realize it. Our fourth baby (who I swear was just born!) turns one next month-- what?! There are so many amazing "firsts" that first year that are clearly marked: first bath, first time he holds up his head, first smile, first time reaching his arms up to me when I say his name, first time sitting up on his own, first time in a high chair, first foods, first time standing, first steps... I can clearly see these firsts and mark them in his baby book. The firsts after that become much harder to distinguish. One day our 6-year old burst in to the house and wanted me to watch him ride on his skateboard. Apparently he had been practicing this (with the appropriate protective gear and padding). It was my first time seeing him slowly make his way down our driveway on the skateboard, but his dad had seen him do it and he had been practicing this for years (according to him). Suddenly these tiny little babies of mine that I have invested so much of my time in are these little people with their own little lives. I feel our 6-year old and our 4-year olds moving further and further away from me with each year. I dont notice it so much in our day to day life; it is when I stop and reflect on our days that I see how much they are growing. And so, with our fourth baby, when I am elbow deep in sleepless nights and sticky baby hands pulling my hair and his snot covered face buried in my J Crew silk blouse, I know that in a blink of an eye he will be a 2-year old, that before I know it he will be a 4-year old and the next day a 6-year old. I know how fleeting it is that my baby will need me as he does now. With that lesson in mind, I can only assume that when our oldest is 12-years old, I will look back at the time when he was 6-years old and miss this time, when he needed me as a 6-year old boy needs his mother.

How does that lesson affect my day to day parenting? With our fourth baby, it is easy to see how it affects my parenting. The little things really just do not get to me. I can wake up after a rough, sleepless night and say, "Man, he slept horribly!" My day is not derailed and I just brew an extra cup of coffee. I give grace when he screams through dinner. I am able to slow us down and say, "Yeah, probably not going to get those errands done today; lets just take a walk instead." Our fourth baby loves taking walks and so we love walking him. We are able to put on the brakes and enjoy the small moments that happen each day, whereas with our oldest I felt like those fussy colicky days dragged on forever; with our twins, I felt like they flew by in a world of baby spit-up and endless evenings. With our fourth, I feel like the days are full of baby smiles and sweet moments. When I compare him to our other children, they really arent that different, but my perspective has changed.

In my day to day parenting with our older three boys, it is sometimes harder to see how this lesson affects my parenting. For instance, with our oldest, he is our first 6-year old. I get these glimpses when I see him around other 6-year olds that the behaviors that we find so baffling (repetition, slap-stick comedy, potty humor) are completely normal. Those are the times where I say, "Hey, we need to cut him a break. When our other children are 6-years old, I doubt we will even bat an eye at this behavior yet we are holding our oldest to a very high standard that perhaps should not be this high."

With our twins, it is hard because some of the things that they are going through are exasperated by the fact that we have 2 children the same age. So this morning when one of our 4-year olds was having an absolute come apart because he couldnt find his Olaf piggy bank, our other 4-year old was having an absolute come apart because he wanted to go to My Gym right now (all while I was in the middle of feeding the baby and getting our kindergartner ready for school). I have to take a breath at those moments and think, "Would this be so annoying if one 4-year old was yelling at me right now?" First instinct is always YES!!!!!, but then I am able to step back and dig deep and think, "Maybe not... because I would be able to focus on the one 4-year old in front of me who wants his Olaf piggy bank and talk him through it." If I had one 4-year old, I would be able to approach the situation this way: 
"Yes, I am feeding the baby, but when I am done I can go upstairs and help you find it. Do you know where you saw it last? What do you want to put in it? Do you think we should find somewhere safe to put it so we dont lose it again?"
Instead of this way with 2 4-year olds:
"Yes, I am feeding the baby-- please stop interrupting, I am talking to your brother-- and I will help you find your Olaf piggy bank-- sir, I need one second, we are not going to My Gym right now. I need to talk to your brother and then I will talk to you-- yes, I know you want Olaf, your brother was interrupting, I will help you find it. Sir, do not yell at me. We are not going to My Gym. We will find your piggy bank. I am feeding the baby. I hear you. We cannot go to My Gym; it isnt even open right now. I need a minute and I will go upstairs with you. Okay, both of you-- time out until I finish feeding the baby. Then I will help you both. Time out. Go."
With them, I find that I know what to expect from their ages-- a newborn, a 1-year old, a 2-year old, a 3-year old, a 4-year old, etc-- but that I am often surprised by how it translates having 2 children at that particular age at the same time. I have been most surprised that, while the newborn phase was super busy, the toddler phase was harder. I have also been surprised lately with the challenges we have had with 2 4-year olds. They are about at the age where pushing them in the stroller is impractical (pushing 2 30-pound children in a double stroller while wearing 1 20-pound baby in the Tula? No, thank you), so now we have 3 children out of the stroller and only 1 child in the stroller (2 of them being 4-year olds with 4-year old temperaments). Anyways, so some of my expectations regarding their ages and stages are different when handling twins than a singleton. I know this also makes me approach our fourth child, a singleton, with a softer lens as well. (For instance, before our fourth child, the last time we were doing the newborn stage, we were changing two babies diapers around the clock, which makes changing one babys diaper feel like a lot less diapers. The last time I had a 10-month old, I was wrestling 2 10-month olds through diaper changes and into clothes, which makes wrestling one 10-month old feel like a lot less work.)

Beyond the multiples perspective (comparing twins to a singleton), some things simply are a lot less work when I do them with our fourth baby than with all 4 children. I am surprised when I travel or go out with "just the baby" at what doesnt feel like work to me anymore. When I went out with our first baby, getting the infant carrier in and out of the car, pulling the stroller in and out of the car, loading and unloading the diaper bag... it was a lot. Everywhere I went I carried a sea of belongings. If I stood in line and he started fussing, I was exhausted and irritated, "Why are they taking so long to check out at the grocery store? Come on..." I would wrestle him through doctors appointments, "Im here with a baby! You would think they could move this along..." Even when we had our twins (our second and third children), I would never choose to make a stop when I was out with the children. I remember taking one of our infant twins with me to the store and he cried the whole time. I thought, "Man, even taking one child to the store is a ton of work." Then we had baby #4. Our twins were 3-years old. Our oldest had just turned 6-years old. I fully expected to have the same feelings lugging around the baby and the infant carrier as I had when our twins were born... but I didnt. I dont know if it is because Im a baby person, but toting around one baby? I got this. If I leave the 3 older boys home (with their dad or my parents) and I am out with the baby, Ill stop at Starbucks. Ill run in to the grocery for one thing (unless they have to, moms never choose to run in the store for one item). I call home, ask if anyone needs anything else. I take him to the doctor and dont mind waiting-- one baby is a break from 4 children (Dont mind me! I brought a book!). I buckle and unbuckle him from his car seat, unload and reload the stroller, pop in and pop out the infant carrier. NBD (No Big Deal). I did not expect to feel that way and it really is a change from how I felt with our first and our twins. But it is less work going out with one baby than 4 children-- making sure our oldest is buckled in his high-back booster and buckling the other 3 children in their car seats, unloading 4 children from the van, getting the baby in the stroller and making sure the older 3 are holding hands in the parking lot, keeping an eye on 4 children at the park, etc.

For other things, like pediatrician visits and the like, it is definitely different for me the more children we have added. The things I would take our first in for were not things I took our second and third in for and definitely not what I take our fourth in for. It ends up falling in that category of, "Man, do I really want to drag 4 children to the pediatrician?" Because some one always catches something new when we go in for a sick visit. If I have one sick child and 3 well children with me, I dont want to sit in the sick child waiting room with 3 well children, but no one wants me in the well child waiting room with my one snot-nosed, coughing, feverish child. And who wants to deal with all those children in the small pediatricians office? Children climbing all over the exam table (and falling off of it), children licking the floor and sliding all over the floor, me bouncing the sick child (or children) on my hip, the doctor finally coming in to glare at the misbehaving children who have been waiting for 20 minutes and then telling me, "Yup! He has a cold." No, thank you. If Im taking children to the pediatrician, I need a reason. Rash? You better have that rash for days, then Ill take you. Fever? Better be high. Injury? Ill call the nurse line first. Any questions or concerns, I call my mother, who has 4 children herself (plus 5 grandchildren now).

The last thing I thought of for how things are different for me now that weve had 4 children compared to when we had one child is that I really have allowed myself more grace. My mom is always instructing me to pick my battles. Some things that were worth fighting over with one child simply are not worth fighting over with 4 children. For instance, I wrote a blog post on "toddler technology." The times that I found it appropriate for our oldest to hang out and watch a lot of movies are different than the times I have found it appropriate for our other 3 to hang out and watch a lot of movies. During this move, our oldest has spent a lot of time on his tablet playing Minecraft and Minion Rush. It simply becomes overwhelming to do it all by myself and I have to give myself grace, allow for different seasons in our life, allow for times when we do things closer to our ideal and times when we take more shortcuts. Life happens. Much like how I need to give our children patience and grace, I also need to extend that to myself.

Which brings me to the final point: patience and grace. Ive written many blog posts on motherhood. This whole blog is about being a Navy family: our life, our experiences, my musings. One of my greatest parenting convictions is that we all do things differently. What works for me today, might not work for me tomorrow. What works for one of my children, might not work for another of my children (something I have definitely learned the more children we have had!). How I feel about something is not how another mom feels about it and what is important to me may not be important to you. When I write my blog posts on parenting and managing twins, that is how my husband and I have handled our situation, how we live our life. My favorite parenting advice to give is do what works for you. Treat other moms with patience and grace. It isnt a competition and we dont help our cause as women by putting each other down. Being a military wife and now mother to 4 children including twins, I feel like there is this competition to "have it worse:"
"I had 4 kids in 4 years and none of them are twins; that must have been much easier getting two out of the way at once."  
"That must be so nice having such an age gap between your twins and your baby; my kids are 12 months apart and it is so crazy."  
"I have a 28-month old, a 17-month old, and a 2-month old and my husband will deploy next year."  
"I have 13-month old twins and my husband is deployed."
We dont know anyone elses story. We dont know why someone is getting in our face about how much "worse" they have it. Maybe they are having a bad day? Maybe they arent trying to be a one-upper and I am taking it the wrong way? Maybe they really are just a one-upper and I need to put it in a bubble and let it go? Patience and grace.

We are in this together. I know that it was hard with my first baby and it is hard with my fourth baby. I know that the challenges I had with my first baby are different than the challenges I have with my fourth baby. It was hard being pregnant with a singleton and hard being pregnant with twins. It is important to extend the same grace that I wanted as a first time mom to other first time moms. More important than that is knowing that not everyone desires or will have 3+ children and that is okay; it also doesnt make the experience of having 3+ children better or greater than having 1 or 2 children.

To whoever wrote that comment on the HONY post, Im sorry that your experience with moms of 3+ children has been less than positive. I hope that this blog post helps shed some light on the perspective of parents who have 4 children and compare the experience of parenting their first child to their fourth child. I also hope that as parents we can uplift each other instead of bringing each other down. You are absolutely correct that we need to support each other and that everyones motherhood journey is different.

To the first time mom sitting at the pediatricians office first thing Monday morning because your 9-month old sneezed over the weekend and has a drippy nose, love to you. To the second time mom wiping a pacifier off on the hem of your dress, love to you. To the third time mom wondering if the baby has been bathed this week at all, love to you. To the fourth time mom popping in 101 Dalmatians for the 100,000,000 time just to have some peace and quiet in the evening, love to you. To the fifth time mom answering for the 100th time "Yes, they are all mine," love to you. To the mom of newborn twins struggling to feed one baby and bounce the other, love to you. To the mom of toddler twins desperately trying to make the house one iota more baby-proof, love to you. To the mom suffering from a recent miscarriage and desperately missing that baby you never held, love to you. To the mom balancing the children and life while your husband is deployed or away, love to you. To the mom pregnant and chasing after one or two or three children and longing for a nap or a break, love to you. To the mom of the toddler screaming through the grocery store while your fellow shoppers glare at you, love to you. To the mom crying in the bathroom while you text your mom and the children tussle and fight in the other room, love to you. To the mom sitting in the van in the driveway while your children nap in the backseat, love to you. To the mom of one child being asked all the time when you are having another, love to you. To the mom feeling you are doing it all wrong, love to you. We support you all.

Happy Mothers Day!

Do you find information about pregnancy with weight loss surgery are you looking for? If not, below may help you find more information about the pregnancy with weight loss surgery. Thank you for visiting, have a great day.

Monday, March 28, 2016

baby losing weight when teething | Navy family united we stand

baby losing weight when teething


One of the things I hear about all the time is the idea of a "Navy family," not as in my blog title, Kimbers Navy Family, which refers to our nuclear family, but a temporary family comprised of military members and their families supporting each other. People post pictures about how they love their Navy family, "Dont know what I would do without these girls! Love my Navy family!" Or make comments about how their Navy family helped get them through certain times in their life. I myself talk often about our Navy family. The past couple weeks, the concept of a Navy family has materialized once again in real and practical ways in my life. While we were away from the Navy community during my husbands years at college, I almost forgot about how present a Navy family is and just how much help our Navy family offers. Our Navy family truly becomes far more than just people we meet, but family, people that step into our lives and lift us up, people that bring light to times where you feel alone and lost. People that years after they entered into your life, you remember and cherish. Who is this Navy family?

1. The people that never leave.

While we were still newlyweds, I had our first miscarriage. It was a very hard time. I was far away from my friends and family at a duty station where I hardly knew anyone. The few people I knew drifted out of my life when it happened; I dont think they knew what to do or say and so they avoided me. I was alone and heartbroken. And then these two women burst into my life, one of whom I had met a few weeks before and another I had only had polite conversations with in passing-- a JOs wife and our chiefs wife. Our chiefs wife headed up the Sunshine Committee with our FRG; she coordinated meals for families that needed them and baby gifts for new babies-- things of that nature. When I had my miscarriage, she started bringing us meals, then she started driving me to my doctors appointments. From there, she became my go-to person for all things Navy related. When our boat changed homeports, she came with me to the housing office and walked me through the check-in process since the boat was gone, I had no clue what I was doing, and I was sitting there with a baby and a power of attorney. Her and her husband have guided me and my husband along in our marriage, to raise a Navy family with emphasis on family. She has listened to me, counseled me, and loved me like a sister. Amazingly, we are now stationed near each other again. All these years later and she is still the person I call when I dont know what to do raising our boys or I need prayer or someone who will listen, cry with me, laugh with me, or just be there for me. I pray constantly to be the type of friend she has been to me and to love as openly and beautifully as she does. She is the person that embraces the good and bad in life and allows God to work through her to turn it into a beautiful masterpiece (while I am in the corner worrying, complaining, or crying). I love her and her family with all my heart. If nothing but this family ever comes of my husbands Navy career, we will have been blessed immeasurably.

The JOs wife has been another one of those friends. Her and I hit it off at a "mandatory fun" event put on by the boat. We are both from California. We both enjoy literature. At the time, our due dates were just days off from each other. When I had my miscarriage, our slow building friendship was thrown into the fire where something pure and beautiful emerged. I didnt expect anything from her-- a person I just met-- but she called me and said, "Listen. I really enjoy this friendship with you. I understand if you need space or time or if my pregnancy is painful for you right now. I want to support you. Please let me know what I can do and I am open to it. If you dont want to discuss my pregnancy, I am happy to do that." Since the other people I knew backed out of my life, her straight forward and honest approach was reassuring. Our friendship has grown like that over the years, strong and firm, honest, true, and loyal. We can talk about anything and everything and love the heart and soul of each other. We havent lived near each other in awhile, but I think about her and her sweet family every day. We use social media and Skype to keep in touch with each other. When we get on the phone, we pick up right where we left off, laughing and letting our children say hello. I will be honest-- I hope that one of our sons marries her daughter-- but even if we do not become family in the legal sense, they will always be part of my chosen family.

2. The people that do not stay.

A strange phenomenon that happens with your Navy family is people you do not know helping you in deep or personal situations, some of whom you never get to know better past that point, but who you would equally support if the tables were turned. I have had neighbors bring me meals when I had sick children and my husband wasnt home. Neighbors come over and insist on watching my children so I could go to the ER or support a sick relative. I have had people drop off groceries, run errands, give support, offer much needed words of encouragement or an ear at moments where I felt alone, alone, alone. I have had neighbors add me to their family meals, dropping off food for me regularly because they know my husband has strange hours. I have had wine nights that lasted well into the wee hours of the night with women I do not know, but who I sat and talked with for hours because we both needed a friend. I have had people offer to pick up my mail, walk my dog, watch my children, or do any small errand for me because they knew I needed help-- and these werent just offers, but people truly saying, "Let me help you. What can I do now? Tonight?" These are the people that I forever feel grateful for, these fleeting angels in my life. For one reason or another, a deeper friendship doesnt grow-- our schedules, the distance between each others houses, or someone PCSing right at the start of a budding friendship-- but they are people who know what you are going through and who know how to help, who want to help, and who roll up their sleeves to lend a hand to a fellow Navy family simply because they are looking after their own.

When I think of this group of people, I get the warm feeling I had sitting on someones back porch-- I dont even know who-- drinking wine out of a plastic cup and chatting about books. There was a Scentsy lamp on the patio furniture and everyone was talking, laughing, fireflies dancing over the playground. I had gone for an evening walk with our dog and ended up crashing someones going away get-together. I felt accepted, part of a larger group of people, and content. We all lived vastly different lives yet we were the same-- all married to sailors and all in this together.

3. The people you just met.

Often times, with Navy life, we are forced to ask brand new friends for help. Many of the Navy families I know are fiercely independent (or maybe just stubborn and slightly introverted). We build ourselves a little fortress, barricading ourselves inside with a small support network of carefully chosen friends and family, power of attorneys, and the Internet, hoping we can find our own answers or hunker down until the hardships are over. We can ask in chat rooms or text friends from past duty stations, but when it comes to asking for physical help-- GASP! Our insides turn to mush and our legs become shaky. We thank people excessively for performing the smallest tasks and send over meals and baked goods for weeks afterwards, "Just wanted to say thanks!" I recently had to text a gal I met days before to ask if she would walk over and sit at our house while our 3 older boys slept so I could take the baby to the hospital for his bronchiolitis. The baby was having a hard time breathing and our older 3 were asleep and I felt horrible asking. I was two steps away from loading everyone up into the van when I thought, "Im just going to do it... Im just going to text her." I did. I stared at the phone with a knot in my stomach, guilt washing over me, when she texted me back moments later, "Of course! No problem. Be right over." Why is it so hard? I dont know. But frequently moving-- between you moving or your friends moving-- means that no matter how you try to feather your nest, there are those moments that you need to ask for help. People I barely know have asked me for help-- from using my washer and dryer to baby-sitting to rides-- and Im always happy to give it. The Navy family extends to these brand new friends we make, people who you click with instantly, like the JOs wife when I had my first miscarriage, who you know will become a great friend, but arent yet. One of the big differences about budding friendships in the Navy is that often these friendships are started during times of great stress and turmoil, periods of your life where you do not feel like yourself, where you are asking for help all the time, where you are emotionally exhausted or spent and do not feel you are presenting your true self. Your Navy family can see past that. They see you. They have walked that road before and know that moving with children is hard. They have had the move where everything is broken and everyone gets sick the week your household goods are delivered. They know what it is like when your vehicle arrives at your new duty station a month later than expected or you are sitting on the housing wait list for months on end. These brand new friends think nothing of having you over for dinner, of moving your laundry to the dryer while you nap on the couch, of baby-sitting in the middle of the night. They are there through the storm and there when the dust settles. Ive found often with these friendships that these are the friends who are in it for the long haul, that will be lifelong friends (read, "Saying good-bye").

One thing that makes me laugh about this category of friend is that sometimes huge basic gaps are missing in these friendships. These gals are throwing my cloth diapers in the washer for me, Im scrubbing their kitchen, were wiping each others tears, were at each others houses past midnight, theyre driving my vehicles and picking up prescriptions at the pharmacy for each others children, but if we mention our husbands names we have to remind each other, "Yeah, that is my husbands name." These gaps definitely fill in later, but it is always funny to discover what basic things we do not yet know about each other when we feel like weve walked through fire together... in our 2 week friendship that already feels like years.

Do you have a Navy family? How have they helped you?

Do you find information about baby losing weight when teething are you looking for? If not, below may help you find more information about the baby losing weight when teething. Thank you for visiting, have a great day.

Friday, March 25, 2016

how to weight loss during pregnancy | PCSing tips from a Navy wife and mother of three

how to weight loss during pregnancy


 
This is our third PCS together. There were a lot of reasons why this past move went as well as it did, many of which you already know if you read my last blog post, "PCS to South Carolina." Here are the major reasons as to why this was such a good move:
  • My husband was home on both ends and did not have to go into work much. In North Carolina he was working with the ROTC after he graduated college; he took 10 days of house hunting leave during our PCS. Now in South Carolina he is on hold before he actually starts power school. We did not have to deal with a boat schedule or him being underway while I set up the move. That was a nice change (read "STA-21 Officers Program").
  • Since we moved one state down (North Carolina to South Carolina), we did not have to ship any vehicles and try to figure out how we were going to negotiate having one car for an extended period of time.
  • Along the same vein, we also did not have to deal with getting specific power of attorneys to ship vehicles, do the pack out, accept HHG shipment, yadda yadda yadda... Plus I always have the durable unlimited power of attorney which has made our life much easier.
  • We had baby-sitters and friends to help when we moved from North Carolina. We even knew someone in South Carolina who brought us dinner when our HHGs were delivered.
  • We were able to load up our car with our pantry ingredients and a cooler with some of our refrigerator ingredients. We did not have to deal with empty cupboards for a week or two before making the Worlds Most Expensive Costco Trip like we have had to on every other move.
  • We were able to do a direct move. Our pack out dates were a Wednesday and a Thursday. They loaded our HHGs onto the truck in North Carolina on Friday and they were delivered at our address in South Carolina an hour after we got the keys to our house on Monday.
Tools for setting up your HHG move

With all that said, here are the things that I found extremely helpful when setting up our HHG move:
  • Our move notebook was awesome! I wrote a blog post about what is in our move notebook called, "Write it all down." Since my husband was home, I liked that we were able to keep all our information straight between what he was working on and what I was working on. He knew where to look for important phone numbers and I knew where to look to get a copy of our orders. When we actually moved, I did carry our file organizer with us instead of putting our passports and birth certificates, etc, in the move notebook since we just drove one state down. However, during our move from Hawaii to North Carolina, I would have put those documents in my move notebook and not had to carry the cumbersome file organizer.
  • Along with the move notebook, I kept a Greenroom Recycled Clipboard from Target handy. This is where I kept notes when I talked to housing and where my husband and I wrote our pre-pack out to-do lists. I tore off sheets of information I needed to keep and put those in the move notebook, but for general notes, I liked having the clipboard. It was also much easier to carry this clipboard with me when waiting for a return phone call from housing than lugging the entire move notebook to our sons park and rec class.
First Day Bag

Once we actually got the keys to our new house in South Carolina, our first day bag was awesome. This is the first time that I did a first day bag; every other move I kicked myself when I realized I didnt have toilet paper or soap or some other necessity, impatiently waiting for lunch break so I could run to Target. So a huge thank you to my husband for reminding me to pack a first day bag. I know some people do a first day box that gets packed with their HHGs and is clearly marked FIRST DAY BOX, that way they have those supplies in their new house. We just put the first day bag in our vehicle and drove it down with us. Here is what I put inside:
  • A pack of toilet paper
  • Hand soap-- put in 1 or 2 soap dispensers
  • Small size of dish soap
  • Roll of paper towels
  • White cleaning rag
  • Clorox wipes
  • Hand sanitizer
  • Ziploc bag of dishwasher detergent
  • Ziploc bag of Tide Pods for laundry
  • Several plastic Target bags
  • Box of Ziploc bags, quart size
  • If you have young kids: Extra baby wipes
  • If you have young kids: A couple of diapers
  •  If you have room: a couple of hand towels
This was to get us through the first day or two before we started unpacking our bathroom boxes and to tide us over in case of laundry emergency with kids (plastic bag for dirty clothes, laundry pods for loads that need to get washed at the hotel or after our washer and dryer got hooked up). I only packed one hand soap dispenser and I really wish that I had put in at least two. We ended up using the dish soap in the kitchen and putting the hand soap in the bathroom. The Clorox wipes were a stroke of genius. I used those a lot the first couple days. I dont know about you, but I like to clean my new house before using the amenities. I felt much more at home with this Mary Poppins-esque bag at my disposal. The paper towels worked fine, though I do wish that I had thrown in a hand towel or two for the bathroom and the kitchen.


 Making unpacking easier

I think a lot of people make unpacking a harder process than it needs to be. Sometimes it is really overwhelming opening up a box to find it full of random mail from your old house, DVDs that you dont have room for, blankets you havent unpacked the bin for, and tchotchkes you had sitting around your old living room. Even harder (for me): figuring out how to set up your new kitchen. There you are, standing in a kitchen with empty cupboards, stacked high with boxes marked kitchen, and you dont know where to begin. Where to put the cooking spoons? Or the silverware? Or the spices? And as you unpack boxes, good Lord, where am I going to put this small kitchen appliance that I had totally forgotten about?

In all honesty, one of the most stressful things for me about unpacking our house is when my husband is home to help. We have totally different styles. He wants to get everything out of boxes and see everything that needs to go in a room, like the kitchen, before putting anything away. To me, this is a wildly unrealistic way to unpack because 1. we have kids who will break everything we leave sitting around and 2. if we unpacked all our HHG before putting them away, we would have so much clutter for weeks that I would probably lose my mind. My style of unpacking is much more "me do it." I can figure it out; I just want to get it done. This is why I always have my grandmother move with me because she is the same way. She works in one room; I work in another. I move boxes for her; she asks if I use something often, and we just unpack and file everything away one box at a time. This move, my husband and I talked about things before our HHGs were delivered and it actually went perfectly-- so perfectly that I dont know what Ill do if I have to move without him next time! He was such a huge help and totally organized our garage while helping me in the house; I dont know how he got everything done that he did-- plus he hung everything in our house beautifully. Sometimes combining two different styles is just what you need to get a house unpacked quickly and efficiently. :)

Here are my tips on unpacking your house:
  • Communicate. Whether you are unpacking your house with your husband or a relative who came to help, figure out who is unpacking what, even if it is room by room. If it is your house and you have someone helping you, tell them what you need help with and give them the freedom to do it. Give them a specific job. "Would you mind organizing this hall cupboard? I need the medicine up high, out of the reach of the kids, but everything else is up to you. I do like things grouped together, like hand towels, or childrens medicine." When unpacking with your spouse, figure out what your plan of action is. "I plan on doing the closets next; what about you?" If you really want something done a certain way, tell your spouse so there isnt conflict later, especially if it is one of "your" areas of the house. For instance, my husband spends a lot of time working in the garage and so he set it up how he wanted to. He asked if there was anything special I wanted in the garage and I told him I wanted the kids toys easily accessible.
  • Prioritize. Unpack your house by order of priority. Since we have small kids, we needed their room unpacked so they could sleep safely each night-- no boxes stacked in the corner or loose screws laying about. We pulled the boxes out of their playroom and unpacked enough of their toys that they had a safe place to play while we unpacked the rest of the house. I then unpacked enough of their bathroom that we could do baths at night. The kitchen is a big priority because that is where we cook our meals. Laundry room is a huge priority so I can start washing sheets and clothes. I got those areas squared away before doing things like my closet. I wanted my closet unpacked so I could get ready quicker, and then I went back and finished things like the bathrooms, before going to lower priority things like finishing the playroom and unpacking and organizing my books. With small children, things like hanging pictures becomes a big priority once you have unpacked the majority of the pictures because they become a hazard stacked in a corner of the room.
  • Organize. This doesnt mean folding all of your towels just so as you put them away or putting every dish in the cupboard exactly how you want it the first time. As you unpack, you will have those "oh, crap" moments of you-forgot-just-how-many-towels-you-own or when-on-earth-did-I-get-so-many-small-kitchen-appliances or where-the-Hades-am-I-going-to-store-my-canned-goods. You will be shifting things as you unpack. However, plan. Eyeball your house. Where do you want to keep your household linens? Or your medications? Or your shoes? Figure out rough ideas of homes for these things and congregate items as you go. Where is a safe place (safe meaning out of the reach of toddlers) to put your trinkets as you unpack them? Right now I have a shelf in the garage with our decorative vases, many of which will eventually find their permanent places inside the home-- just havent gotten to it yet. When you unpack those random boxes, it wont be so stressful if you know where you are planning on keeping extra blankets or your office files.
  • Re-purpose. As the movers brought in our furniture, they would ask me where I wanted large furniture items that-- I kid you not-- I had completely forgotten about. I had to shift the room to accommodate those pieces. Some things ended up where they are because that was the only place I had room to put them. Our night stand is now in my closet. Just because a piece of furniture was an end table or your toy organizer at your last house doesnt mean that it cant become your new nightstand or a bookcase in your living room at your new house. Look at your furniture with a new eye as it gets unpacked. Would that work as a desk in your office? Or could that now be the dresser in your kids room? And wouldnt that be just the thing to organize your playroom? Use your storage bins creatively. What if you took this bin out of your kitchen and used it instead in your guest room? Or organized all your homeschooling things with it?
  • Donate. As we unpack, we keep a sturdy medium size box open at all times marked clearly DONATE and another marked TRASH. Dont keep what you dont need. Sometimes it is hard to throw things away at your old house because you cant see that house without it-- what would you put in that odd corner if you got rid of that chair or lamp? In your new house, you see that you dont need it. You dont need these toys or these clothes or those books or that desk. Get rid of it. Do it while it is fresh, before you settle in. Designate a corner of your garage or porch as your DONATE pile. Dont move your junk drawer from one house to another. Start your new junk drawer fresh, only putting in it some pens, paper, and a flashlight. Get rid of the rest. I like to think of it as paying it forward. Give these things to someone who wants them or needs them. Give them to a charity. Welcome your family to your new home with some good Karma and a fresh start. The donate box is also especially useful because if I have something that Im really stumped with finding a place for that I rarely use, I donate it.
  • Simplify. I know a lot of people wash all their sheets and towels before putting them away after they move, or wash all of their kitchen appliances, dishes, and silverware before putting them away. I wait. Ill fill the dishwasher with our everyday dishes and our everyday silverware, but everything else waits. I wash the kitchen appliances before I use them. I eventually wash all our kitchen gadgets. Weve been in our new home for two weeks and today I pulled all our kitchen gadgets out of their drawers and washed everything, filling up the sink and soaking them in hot, soapy water before washing them all and laying them out to dry over towels on the kitchen counter. This move I packed clean sheets for all the beds with me, eliminating the loads of sheets before making the beds. Ive slowly washed the other sheets these past two weeks. You dont have to do it all right away when your house is in boxes! Clean as you go. Dont make it more stressful.

Moving with young children
We have three boys: a five-year old and two-year old twins. I really worried about moving with all three of them. I stressed over whether I should go buy plastic bins to organize their toys, put all the Matchbox cars in one, all the action figures in another, etc. I agonized over what toys I should bring for them to the hotel and our drive, what movies, what games. I stressed about how to make this transition easier for them. In the end, we packed our Jeep so tight that we werent able to get the train table out once we checked into our hotel (yes, I planned on bringing the whole dang train table into the hotel room with us) and I forgot to pack any DVDs at all before our HHGs were packed up. What worked best for them was keeping naptime the same and having fun, individual activities, like sticker books and magnetic drawing boards. I did bring some of their favorite books with us to the hotel so that we could all read together and they liked the time in Mommy and Daddys lap before bed and we had a bag of Duplos with us. All three of the boys played with those in the hotel and in our new house before their toys started coming off the truck. The biggest thing to remember is that the kids feed off of your energy. The more stressed you are, the more stressed they are. I had to remind myself often that it will all come together, it will all work out. There were many times during unpacking that I changed tactics to include the kids, "Hey, can you put all the paper in this box? Can you put the toys in the bin?" or that I took fun breaks, like hooking up the sprinkler and sitting outside with them. The best times, I found, to get real work done were during mealtime (strapped in their highchairs), naptime, and bedtime. While my husband fed them, I would work on projects I didnt want three small sets of hands involved in; this usually resulted in me eating standing up at random times of the day. Big, time consuming projects that involved both my husband and I, like hanging the pictures in the house, we did first thing in the morning when the boys were still fresh and upbeat.

And if you are PCSing soon, best of luck to you on your upcoming move!
-Kimber


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Sunday, March 20, 2016

baby losing weight while breastfeeding | Why I have 4 children

baby losing weight while breastfeeding


Im super tired and working on my second latte of the day. Fairly certain the plans I had today (i.e. get dressed) are going to go out the window, so why not just throw in the towel now, curl up on the couch, and write a blog post?

I wrote a post awhile ago called, "Why do I feed our toddlers?" Since we recently moved and Im introducing myself to new people in a desperate attempt to make friends, I have been hearing a lot of comments like, "4 boys! Wow!" and "I dont know how you do it with 4." If you read my last blog post, I dont know how we are doing life right now either, so heres my response:

Why I have 4 children

10. I enjoy mess.

Unless Im picking Play-Doh, Legos, sand, or small rocks off my feet when I walk on our hard floors, Im not happy. Thankfully our children provide me with that lovely experience daily.

9. I enjoy mess.

Lets not leave off the carpeted upstairs. Who likes walking in the dark unless it is a challenge? When I head to bed at night I prefer to trip over action figures, toy bins, and unexpected booby traps.

8. I enjoy mess.

Guests coming over? I only enjoy company when I have that sinking embarrassed feeling when they sheepishly come back out of our hall bathroom moments after entering to tell me, "Um, I think someone may have had an accident on the floor...?"

7. I enjoy mess.

And lets not forget the diaper blow outs. If our potty training preschoolers arent having accidents, I can always count on the baby to blow out his diaper during a dinner party with my spouses co-workers.

6. I enjoy mess.

Detailed vehicles are boring. Who wants to look at beige car carpet? No, life is more adventurous if you are curious if that is barbecue sauce or diaper blow out on the WeatherTech floor mats. When your girlfriend casually says, "How about I ride with you?" I love muttering, "Derp, I promise my Honda Odyssey is usually cleaner than this..." because you know she believes me...

5. I enjoy mess.

Anyone can put an outfit together, but it takes a certain finesse to head out the house wearing a shirt that has a diaper blow out imprint on the hip, oatmeal caked on the front, and someone elses snot dried around the neck.

4. I enjoy mess.

Speaking of heading out of the house, dining out is a much more enjoyable and relaxing experience when at the end of the meal I get to scoop up infinite amounts of mushy food with tiny, thin napkins, flung by children who spent the meal pelting me with silverware while whining that they werent hungry.

(I also like herding said children out of the restaurant as I apologize to fellow patrons to load them up in the mini van as they whine they are now hungry...)

3. I enjoy mess.

But lets not forget the joys of eating in. Who doesnt like cooking a meal with 4 children underfoot, whining they are hungry, hitting each other over whos turn it is to help, and struggling through putting a meal on the table as you finish cooking with one hand/a baby in the carrier on your back? And then no one eats because they dont like whatever it is you cooked... despite the fact that they devoured that exact meal at your friends house the other day.

2. I enjoy mess.

Which brings me to friends... those people that you try to have conversations with as your children pull out every toy bin in their playroom, hit each other on their couch, or divulge how you inadvertently ate baby vomit the other day while you were only wearing underwear. Yes, we would love to do this again sometime.

(Please invite us back, please invite us back, please invite us back...)

1. I enjoy mess.

Nothing says joy of parenthood quite like naked children 10 minutes past when you were supposed to leave the house ("But you were all dressed 2 minutes ago!") or a complete lack of privacy ("Im showering!") or crawling in bed only to find Matchbox cars and plastic spiders (and those same things in your washer and dryer). And the pleasure of these encounters is only multiplied by the uplifting comments you receive when you finally do leave the house for caffeine/adult company ("Back in my day, we disciplined our children/didnt have electronics/respected our elders").

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Friday, March 11, 2016

post pregnancy weight loss plan while breastfeeding | Duty stations Charleston South Carolina

post pregnancy weight loss plan while breastfeeding


I havent ever done a blog post on the places weve lived, but I have been wanting to write one about Charleston, South Carolina. Ive felt that most of the places weve lived were pretty straight forward. Charleston is a very unique city and it was an experience to get the opportunity to live there.

From the get-go, we heard how lucky we were to get stationed in Charleston. Everyone told us how beautiful the city was, how much the loved it, how it is their favorite place. We were excited to move there. As people who try to make the most of wherever the Navy brings us, we felt we had a leg up moving somewhere everyone loves. And then we got there and it was nothing like I expected.

Ive done a lot of thinking about Charleston. Ive even written a blog post about it is not my favorite duty station. I struggled for awhile when we lived there. I didnt have that "I belong here" feeling. Eventually I was able to buck up and make the most of it-- I mean, we only lived there for 1.5 years. However, part of what helped me was to let go of my expectations. Here is what we heard about Charleston and our experience with living in Charleston as a young family of 6.


1. "The city is beautiful."

Yes, Charleston is absolutely beautiful. But when we first moved to Charleston, my grandmother broke her hip and recovered at our house for months. Then I got pregnant with baby #4 and it was impossible to get around downtown with our brood. Our twins were 2-years old at the time-- too young to be running out of the stroller and me chasing them (while pregnant)-- and the cobblestone sidewalks were too narrow for even my fabulous double stroller. This left me with the option to either walk in the road downtown with 3 children (a 5-year old and 2-year old twins? No, thank you) or somehow manage wandering downtown with no stroller and 3 children (a 5-year old and 2-year old twins while pregnant? No, thank you). My husband doesnt enjoy meandering like I do-- especially in a crowd with young children-- and so it wasnt something I liked pushing on him, though I did insist on a few meandering Charleston walks. As someone who loves getting out with the kids and exploring, I found this to be a difficult city to navigate by myself with young children. Even if we could go back now, with a 6-year old, 4-year old twins, and a baby, I feel like I could navigate the city a bit better than I could when our twins were 2-years old.

2. "There is so much history and the plantations are a must-see."

Again, the city is absolutely beautiful and there is so much history there. It was also so expensive. It cost our family over $100 to do a carriage tour downtown. Admission to the plantations ran me about $35 at least (and often not including parking) just to get in the door-- and that was by myself with the children, as the only adult. Some of them ran even more than that. When I started adding up the prices for all the different plantations, it was staggering. Then there are the annual passes that you can buy to tour the plantations, which all add up because there isnt one pass that will get you in all the plantations. On top of this, we had a membership to the Childrens Museum of the Lowcountry and the Charleston County Gold Pass Membership. I considered getting us an aquarium membership, which I thought we would use more than a plantation pass, but it was all starting to be a bit much since I really couldnt picture myself hitting those places up that often. When the summer came, I was excited to start going to the Charleston County Parks Whirlin Waters Waterpark because we had bought the Gold Pass and-- guess what!-- you need a separate membership to get into that! Hitting up these places as a family of 6 without memberships starts getting really expensive and into the territory of we spend nearly as much on admission for one day as we would for an annual pass. In the end, I went on zero plantation tours (though we did do Thanksgiving at Middleton Place with all the kids and it was fabulous) and I just made the most out of the memberships that we had (highly recommend the Charleston County Gold Pass Membership!!!).


3. "The food is amazing!"

No denying it, Charleston has some amazing restaurants. We had so many restaurants that we wanted to eat at or that were recommended to us. Tell people you are moving to Charleston and you will immediately start hearing, "Oh! You have to go eat at..." or "I saw this place on Food Network..." or "Omigosh, my favorite restaurant is there! You must go..." Every alley you turn down in Charleston has yet another amazing restaurant tucked in it. But we had a 5-year old and 2-year old twins when we moved there; a 6-year old, 3-year old twins, and an infant when we moved away. There is no way we were going to Halls Chophouse and asking for 2 highchairs or waiting on the street for a table for 6 with 4 children at Hymans. A lot of the restaurants there do not take reservations and are only open during mealtimes (opens at lunch, closes between lunch and dinner, then opens for dinner), making it very hard to hit those places at off-peak times. We loved Monza Pizza downtown, but the only table that could seat us was the community table that had barstools. Yes, we sat at barstools with 2-year old twins... that was an adventure.

This was one of those times that I really noticed a difference between having a smaller number of kids and a larger number of kids. We had a restaurant recommended to us by a family of 3, but when we showed up at this tiny local dive, they had no clue when they could pull together a table for 6, "Maybe 45 minutes? Or an hour? Could you guys wait outside?" (It was not only raining, but also in the middle of winter.) Also, a meal that would have been fairly pricey for just my hubby and I to go to was extremely expensive taking all of our children, not to mention not always enjoyable because they had to get up to go potty, they didnt want to eat that, when are we going home, he took my crayon... on and on.

It took awhile, but we finally found a number of restaurants that worked for us. We like going to places where we dont feel we dominate the entire restaurant (places that are super small tend to be less friendly toward us and tend to rush us along). We also like places to be reasonably priced; we dont mind spending more for good food, but we also have to a balance what price is worth taking our entire family out. While many places in Charleston work on a no-reservations policy, we need places that we can comfortably wait at. Sitting on a narrow sidewalk downtown for 45 minutes is a no go for us. Most of all, we like good food and a good vibe. Here are the places that were our family favorites:
  • Pages Okra Grill
    This is our absolute family favorite; we love eating here. This place is perfect to bring out of town guests to as well because it gives a taste of Charleston while still being exceptionally family friendly.
  • Reds Ice House
    This was a really easy place to go to with our family. It is open all day so we could hit it at off peak times. It is also ideal if you plan on lingering for awhile since you can go to the dock on the back and watch dolphins jump by the paddle boarders in Shem Creek.
  • Charleston Café
    Delicious brunch spot! This place is in a strip mall, but they do have a comfortable sitting area out front. The line moves along quickly. They were short on high chairs, though they had decent chairs that worked fine for our 2-year olds. The staff was nice and attentive to our family, even though it is a pretty busy place.
  • Liberty Tap Room
    This place we found really late in the game, when we were getting ready to move. I was pretty disappointed we found it so late since my hubby and I love beer and family friendly. Delicious food, great beer, and really fun for all of us.
  • Poes Tavern
    This is at Sullivans Island. We sat outside on their big picnic tables and had an absolutely wonderful time. The boys loved people watching. My hubby and I loved hanging out all together. After we had our delicious burgers, we took a walk on the beach where we actually saw a shark in the surf-- no joke. This was quite possibly the most exciting beach trip for our boys.
Of course we ate at more restaurants than just this list. One of the small places downtown that we loved was Queology, a super small BBQ place that was not stroller friendly, though the food was great and the staff was so nice and accommodating. So there were other places we liked than this list, but these were the places we could count on when we wanted to go out to eat as a family-- that would have high chairs, that would have a decent wait, that would have a table that could seat us, that we wouldnt pay a fortune to eat at. My favorite meals were from S.N.O.B. We even took all of our kids there for lunch one day and I can tell you, that place is borderline when it comes to eating out with children. The staff was beyond amazing and friendly and warm, though I could tell that some of the patrons questioned why we were there with all our kids.


4. "There is so much to do there. The beaches are amazing!"

I admit, I pictured us moving somewhere similar to Hawaii where the beaches were almost at our back door. It was a little different than that. It took us about 35-40 minutes to get to the beach. We had a park pass and went to Isle of Palms beach as often as we could. I took us over to do beach walks, let the kids run, and for all day beach trips. I even loved going in the evenings in the summer, since it was usually much cooler and far less crowded. Even though it wasnt as quick of a drive as living in Hawaii, I loved Isle of Palms. This was a great beach for us because the parking lot is right on the beach; you never have to cross a road to get to the beach, perfect for managing a beach day with children. There are bathrooms. During the summer, there is a concession stand and a beach stand selling the basic necessities, like sunscreen and hats and shovels. There are vending machines and drinking fountains. The beach itself is mild enough for children and has a shelf, creating tide pools when the tide changes. We hunted for starfish on this beach. On the way to the beach, I would drive through Raising Canes off Hwy 17 for sweet tea and chicken fingers. It was all perfect for taking 4 children to the beach (or 3 children while being pregnant). Because of the convenience of Isle of Palms, the only other beach we went to was Sullivans Island with my hubby that one time. The other beaches were too much of a drive, didnt have bathrooms, had to cross the road... too many challenges for me to want to head over there with all the young children. In my defense, we were at Isle of Palms all the time though. (The one beach thing was also very different than Hawaii-- there are so many to choose from there!)

The Charleston County Park Gold Pass is a must have. It includes free beach parking, free admission to James Island Festival of Lights, and free admission to Wannamaker Park. Living in Goose Creek with young children, Wannamaker Park was our go-to place on any given weekday. During the summer we would time our Wannamaker Park trips so we could hit up Sonics Happy Hour, which has half priced drinks. I would get all the boys small slushes after playing at the park. Wannamaker is so much fun because it has a great playground for all different aged kids, including woods (a favorite for our boys) and a hill, plus it has a splash pad, a pond, walking/bike trails, and a perfect picnic area. It was big enough to offer different activities each time we went and close enough to go all the time.

But there were a lot of other places that I just didnt get to. I never took the boys antiquing and while we did take them to the fountains downtown, it was stressful with the little boys having them running by the road. So I felt like we really had to seek out what worked best for us there, while I felt like it worked a lot better for some of our friends with less children or no children. We usually got out exploring when my hubby was off work or when family came to town and we had extra hands. Otherwise, it was just too much with the littles and me.


5. "Charleston is my favorite city."

I mentioned in my previous blog post how we made the choice to live close to power school and prototype by living on base instead of out in town. Everyone we spoke to recommended we live in Mt. Pleasant or West Ashley. We even had people say Summerville was nice. We took their input into consideration and decided that because we were living there for such a short time (it ended up being a year and a half) and because we were planning on having another baby there (we had baby #4 in Charleston) that we definitely wanted to live close to base. After living in Goose Creek for a year and a half, here are the two thoughts I have on Goose Creek:
  1. If we get stationed in Charleston again for a "real" tour (instead of going through the officer pipeline as a student), we will live out in town.
  2. Im glad we lived in Goose Creek while going through the officer pipeline because we were so close to power school and prototype.
I had a hard time adjusting to Goose Creek after living in North Carolina where everything we wanted/needed was within 5 miles of our house. In Goose Creek we had...base. And that was it. It took me 15 minutes just to get off base. Everywhere I went was a 30-40 minute drive. Harris Teeter was a 30 minute drive in one direction and Costco a 30 minute drive in the other direction. I did so much online grocery shopping in North Carolina and it was really frustrating now not only shopping in store with 4 children, but also having an hour round trip for those outings. We did have a commissary close by and I loved that. We went there a lot, but the hours sometimes made it difficult. We also had our childrens events on the calendar, like homeschool co-ops and sports classes. It was frustrating driving 30-40 minutes for a 30-40 minute soccer class or piano lesson only to drive the 30-40 minutes back home. It was a big change in our routine and any parent with a 2-year old knows what an hour round trip can do to a nap schedule.

What was great about where we lived was the housing was beautiful. I loved our house and I loved our lay out. The house suited us well and was the nicest place weve lived so far in my hubbys Navy career. I also loved how close we were to his schools. He came home often, especially in power school when he just wanted a break from studying. One day when he was at prototype I came down with a horrible migraine. I called him and told him I really needed him home (he was in studying, not on watch) and he was home 10 minutes after I called, including walking out of the school to the parking lot and riding his bike home. I loved the parks in our neighborhood and there was a great sense of community with our neighbors. In that regard, I do think that at that point in our lives, choosing the housing in Goose Creek was the right choice for us. Overall though, the location did skew my perspective towards Charleston and I do think I would find greater enjoyment living somewhere like Mt Pleasant that was more centrally located to the activities our family enjoys doing.

Since we have moved away from Charleston, I find myself missing a lot of things about the place. I loved the warm, mild weather. I loved our evenings spent on our driveway while the kids played. I loved Isle of Palms and Raising Canes (the two will always go hand in hand for me! haha!). I loved the pineapple fountain downtown. I loved how often my hubby would take us downtown for ice cream at Kilwins; it was one of our favorite treats. While Charleston was very different than I expected and had many challenges for our large family, there was a lot of good there too.

So that is my post on Charleston, South Carolina. Have you been stationed in Charleston? Did you enjoy it? Where did you live and what things did you like doing with your family? If you have a large family, what were some of your favorite "big family" hang outs?

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Tuesday, March 1, 2016

weight loss with pregnancy hormone | Preparing our cross country drive

weight loss with pregnancy hormone



Are we crazy? I dont know. We are in the midst of planning our cross country drive. My hubby is at SOBC in Connecticut right now and I am staying with family. In a few short weeks we will be loading up our vehicles and driving across the United States of America, east coast to west coast.


With four kids, the oldest being six and the youngest being 11 months.


Im freaking out.


It sounded like an adventure before, but the more I look at all the work we have to do to pack for the drive, plan the drive, and then make the drive (with 4 kids), the more my stomach turns to knots and the more I just want to bury my head in the sand.


Why did I agree to this?


I was going to fly... we were going to ship my van... and now we are driving both our vehicles...


But here we are. My husband appealed to my sense of adventure. I agreed. We have a room full of things to pack at my parents house. We have two vehicles to drive across country. We have a game plan and it is almost time to execute it.


Since we are taking both of our vehicles, my hubby and I will be caravanning. We plan on splitting up our 4 children, he with 2 and me with 2. We also think that we will be able to move the car seats around on different days if that helps with sibling fighting, though to start we are putting our 4-year old twins in the Jeep with him and our 6-year old and infant in the van with me. Im hoping our 6-year old helps with the infant, since has done that on past road trips. We are estimating this to take us 5 or 6 days. Before this road trip, our longest road trip with children has been 8 hours on Google Maps, 12 hours actually driving it.


What am I doing to get ready for our drive across the United States to our new duty station?


  1. Packing
    Before my hubby finishes SOBC, I am trying to pack everything that I can. Since we moved to my parents house around January, we have small winter wardrobes here for myself and our 4 boys. I also have a bin of the next size up summer clothing for baby #4. I spent the other morning rolling these clothes from the 3 bins they previously occupied into one large bin. (Let me tell you... rolling clothes compactly with the assistance of two 4-year olds and an infant takes a long time.) Im trying to get those kinds of things packed now so that when my hubby gets here, we can focus on packing the clothes we will need for the drive (and the clothes we will need before our HHG are delivered).
  2. Collecting entertainment
    Im trying to gather things to help keep the children entertained on our drive. With 4 children, I would really like to avoid markers that can stain (or just make a huge mess). Id also like to avoid things with too many pieces that can fall off their laps or trays easily, such as markers with lids or play sets with lots of pieces. It is very frustrating having 4 children crying for things that have fallen every couple miles. Thanks to my helpful friends on Facebook, Im feeling much more confident about our entertainment grab bag. Here are the things that we have collected so far for our non-electronic entertainment grab bag:

    -Water Wow by Melissa and Doug: the cool thing about the Water Wow compared to Crayola Color Wonder is that the Water Wow pen is refillable and never dries out. The color sheets can also be reused once they dry! Amazing! I think these will be a step up from the Color Wonder pages that we have used in the past.

    -Melissa and Doug Reusable Sticker Pads: my boys love these pads. I found the scene pads, like My Town and Vehicles, because I think they will be able to play as they do those. We have other Melissa and Doug Reusable Sticker Pads that we love, such as the Make-A-Meal, but Im hoping these scenes can help ignite a little imaginative play as well. I chose pads that they dont already own to bring in the "new" element on the road trip.

    -Fubbles Bubble Light: I never would have thought of bubbles. A friend suggested bubbles and Im running with it. I think bubbles will be great at rest stops as well as in the hotel rooms. I also picked up bubble refills so we are never out of bubbles (until one of the children dumps the bubble solution, but, well, you cant win them all, eh?).

    -Melissa and Doug Secret Decoder: I bought some additional Water Wow books for our twin 4-year olds, but I thought they were a little young for our 6-year old. I found these Secret Decoder books and picked him up two. Hes recently told me that he is going to be a scientist detective, so I think they will be right up his alley.

    -Usborne Build a Train: Im obsessed with Usborne. I feel like they just get together and decide on amazing books that children will love and then that is exactly what they make. Im pretty excited about these build a train books. I found these Build-a-Train books for our 4-year olds and the next level up Build-a-Train book for our 6-year old.

    -Usborne Moving Sticker Book: Even more exciting of a find is this Usborne Moving House Sticker Book. I love it. It talks about packing up the old house, moving to the new house, and putting your things in your new house. It will be a great conversation starter with our boys who are very nervous about this move. I picked up one for each of our 3 older boys. Such a great find for our military family!

    I found these things at a local childrens toy store that offers a buy 2 get 1 free on Melissa and Doug pads and On the Go books-- a perfect sale for shopping for my older 3 boys. This store also sold the Usborne books. Im still gathering things like these magnetic play sets and a few more Usborne drawing books/sticker pads, but I think our non-electronic entertainment bag is set! This should hold us over for our road trip as well as when we arrive in Washington state and are waiting for our HHG to be delivered (and while we unpack! *shudder*)

    For our electronics, we have the usual DVD players, one tablet (for our kindergartner), an iPod (again, for our kindergartner), and books on tape. I love books on tape. Im borrowing the Harry Potter audiobooks from my parents for our drive. Jim Dale is such a fantastic reader and the boys and I love listening to him. It is enjoyable for me as the driver to listen to audiobooks as well, far better than listening to DVDs loop over and over again. A friend of mine also reminded me of the Disney Song and Story CDs. These were popular with our oldest when he was a toddler and I had completely forgotten about them.
  3. Booking hotels... kind of
    Ive booked the hotels for the first half of our trip since we have a couple stops we want to make and not a ridiculous number of miles between those stops. For the second half of the trip, we plan on driving each day as far as we possibly can, so weve made a spreadsheet with possible hotel stops for us; we plan on making reservations as we go, calling from the road.

    The important thing when booking a hotel in advance is to book DIRECTLY WITH THE HOTEL, not a third-party site. KNOW THE CANCELLATION POLICY. I chose hotels with a 24-hour, no deposit cancellation policy, meaning I can cancel the hotel room UP TO 24-hours before the reservation without consequence. I have a list of the hotel reservations Ive made with phone numbers and confirmation numbers so if anything changes, I can call and cancel or adjust our stay.
Have you ever driven across country before with or without children? What did you do to make the drive better/easier? What are your road tripping tips with children? Please share with me! :)


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Monday, February 29, 2016

baby losing weight while teething | Good enough

baby losing weight while teething


 
As a blogger, I tend to try to read blogs posted by sites I follow.

As a mother and Navy wife, ah! This can be exhausting.

Why?

It seems a lot of blogs tear people down. One of the ones I just read talked about how life as a military spouse really isnt that difficult. Another talked about moms make their own lives difficult. These two blog posts really struck a nerve with me. I know that lately Ive been over sensitive and taking things personally, but, man. Come on now, mommas. Can we build each other up?

What bothers me about these posts?

Immediately after reading them I felt defensive. I wanted to explain so much-- why I agree on some level and why I disagree on another. They felt like attacks on me. Because Ive been struggling so much lately with all the different responsibilities in my life and then throwing my husbands return to submarine life-- going underway and now a shipyard schedule. The whirlwind of reasons why it all feels like a lot to me right now left me feeling deflated and lost reading these posts, these posts that are telling me that I am the one failing right now. Me. I already feel like Im failing and now these posts are basically proof that Im failing.

When a different thought hit me: I do not think I have it worse than other people. I just think that-- for me-- this has been a lot of changes all at once. I dont think we have a bad life. I think I am struggling right now.

There are other things I know:

This is a season in my life.

It will get better.

The children are going through a phase.

I need to be present.

The biggest thing for me to remember:

I need to bring this all to God.

Our twins are 4-years old, an age I have come to realize is not my favorite age; I did not enjoy 4-years old with our oldest son either. I feel stressed when dealing with them, when managing the day to day life with two 4-year olds in tow. I understand that they are in a phase and that it will pass-- I loved 5-years old with our oldest-- but, man, right now... Right now I am tired of the arguing, the meltdowns, the drama, the bedwetting, the tantrums, the tears, the whining, the moping, the constant conflict over each and every aspect of our lives. The sass. Even worse, I have a really hard time handling the input from strangers when it comes to our childrens behavior. They seem to have completely dropped any semblance of manners and when strangers jump in to inform me they should use manners, I feel instantly judged. I feel 5 inches high. I dont understand why all these things that I have spent the last 4 years teaching them have flown out the window. I am trying my best. I am praying all the time. I am struggling.

And when people pat me on the head and say, "It is just a phase. Enjoy it before they..." or something equally dismissive, I feel alone. Like I am failing as a mother for not loving the small things, the in-between moments. I feel horrible for dreading the day before it even starts. I love them to pieces and I love being their mother. I love staying at home with them and I love being the one to teach them new things. I just need a break.

The mommy martyr blog definitely hit me like a ton of bricks. Is that what people think about me? We just moved to a new area. We have four children. We have two children with breathing issues, one with anxiety issues. Baby-sitters are hard to find and not inexpensive. I know in my bones that so many of the behaviors that we are struggling with right now are due to our recent changes: moving, Daddy going underway, starting at a new school, missing their old friends and their old favorite places to go, Daddy coming home and working long hours. It is all a lot for such little people who dont really understand it all. When you are just meeting people and just making friends, it is hard to find people willing to take on four children who are adjusting to a new place. I dont feel comfortable imposing on new people. I dont feel comfortable leaving children Im concerned about with people I dont know or who Ive barely met just so I can go to coffee and take a break by myself-- in a town I dont know. It feels selfish. And imposing.

What I would love is to be living next door to my best friend again. What I would love is to drag all my kids to her house and let them destroy it while she makes me tea and lets me cry on her shoulder. I would love to give her children some love. I would love to feel at home. Connected. Like Im not a burden or intruding or annoying or all over the place. That my mess is welcome. That Im not being judged. That struggling for now is okay.

Of course I call and write to my friends. And of course I reach out to the new and old friends that I have here locally. But everything here is different. As a military spouse-- a submarine spouse-- we move and adapt. I am in that hard phase of adjusting to a new place. The coping mechanisms that I had at our last duty station dont work here. I dont have a long list of easy places to take the kids or know where to grab a quick cheap meal when dinner fails and my husband is working late. My relationship with my husband is also under strain from an entirely new schedule because, as a military spouse, a PCS means a new job.

No, I dont think we are alone in those pressures. No, I dont blame my spouse for these struggles. No, Im not angry at him for moving us or any of that. But there is so much comfort in finding support within a community that understands what you are going through. Just like the support networks we have made through our entire lives: peer friends as I went through high school and college, making friends with other young married couples after I got married, making friends with babies after we had our first son, making friends with fellow parents of multiples after we had our twins, reaching out to other families that have had miscarriages and loss after our second miscarriage, joining homeschool support groups when homeschooling our oldest in preschool and kindergarten and now our twins in preschool, finding other large family friends after we had our fourth son... It isnt strange to me to desire to find support within the military community when dealing with all these changes.

So, for me, this past underway when our oldest was struggling, I gave his teacher a heads up that his dad was away, not so that he could have a free pass, but so that she knew where he was coming from. When I had a hard time from comments I received while my hubby was gone, I would say prayers and seek a local support network. I do not believe that if my husband had a different job our life would suddenly be worry free. I feel that this is the job he has and this is the community we were given. There are unique challenges with this job-- just like any job has its own unique challenges-- and some of these are easy to identify and some of them are hard to explain to people who dont live it. I may fail as a mother in the eyes of the world everyday. I may be judged by strangers for how my children are behaving and I may struggle to find the enjoyment in certain ages and stages with our children. I may struggle with certain aspects of my husbands career right now. I feel all of this makes me exactly what I am: human. I dont have all of the answers and I dont know what Im doing. This is exactly why I depend on God, why I pray, and why I spend time in his word. I fail-- constantly. I feel weak and vulnerable lately. I feel judged. I feel burdened. I feel weighed down by the smallest aspects of our day.

But Lord knows I am grateful. I am grateful for this family, for my husband and our four beautiful boys. For the friends that I have-- near and far. I am grateful for my family, that is so supportive. I am grateful for Gods mercies and grace. I am grateful for my story and testimony.

I dont know where those two blog posts I read fall in my story (the Military Spouse blog and BluntMoms blog), if they are supposed to be convicting or if I should just move on past them. I wont forget how they made me feel reading them though, that someone out there thinks that people like me arent good enough. What I think is important to remember is that God says you are good enough. God is enough. I am not called to have my act together. I am called to depend on Christ. 2 Corinthians 12:9:
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christs power may rest in me. That is why, for Christs sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I am not at the point of feeling strong yet. I am sure that looking back on this time I will be able to see how strong we were in Christ. Right now I feel like Im hanging on by a thread. His grace is sufficient.

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Friday, February 26, 2016

huge weight loss during pregnancy | Domestic goddess

huge weight loss during pregnancy


Picture taken by TwinBug Photography at twinbugphotography@yahoo.com

If you have read my blog post "0-2 year old twin must-haves," you know how I feel about having a housekeeper. However, things have changed for us. We moved from North Carolina to South Carolina (read "PCS to South Carolina") and our financial situation has changed (student loans!). We moved away from our housekeeper in North Carolina and do not have plan to get one-- yet-- here in South Carolina.

My husband and I have had many discussions regarding a housekeeper. While our opinion on having a housekeeper is remarkably similar, I still want to knee him in the... well, you know, whenever he says, "We really dont need a housekeeper. We really can do it just fine" (my emphasis). Who does the housework around here, if not the housekeeper? Thats right! Me! ;)

Our agreement is basically that we want to let our finances settle from the move, have a chance to adjust our family budget to the new pay (and the student loans that we are going to have to start paying on), and see how we feel about getting a housekeeper then. Our last housekeeper came once every two weeks; we might look into having someone come every two or three weeks, maybe even once a month. Well see.

But more than that has changed: it has gotten easier!

Yes, you heard me right: it has gotten easier!!!!!!!

I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for signs of it getting easier-- not just more enjoyable, as I have enjoyed it all-- but easier, where I feel I have things under control and that Im not just way behind the game or playing eternal catch-up. Strangely, going from tidying a three-bedroom two-bathroom house for our housekeeper every two weeks to cleaning a four-bedroom 2.5-bathroom house has been the thing to show me that it has, indeed, gotten easier.

I felt extremely behind taking care of our homes in North Carolina. I felt I was always behind in laundry and always behind in housecleaning. I felt our kitchen got the best of me every night and that dinner was an absolute chore. The housekeeper was much needed. She saved my sanity and gave back some of that time to my kids. My house may have been messy with toys, but it was clean! I felt like I had more time for dinner (though I still had a hard time making that happen with the kids at my feet...) and I could get other things done, like laundry or getting out of the house. My to-do list was that much shorter.

Here in South Carolina our house is much bigger. I would have thought that a bigger house would be more stressful to clean. When we first moved in, I said, "I dont know how Im going to do this!" And then it all fell together. I unpacked our dry-erase calendar (Board Dudes Magnetic Dry-Erase Calendar Tile) and put together a cleaning schedule. Each day I do a really small task and just stay on top of the other stuff (laundry, dishes, getting the kids to put away their toys, husband and I put away our things when done with them)-- really basic things.

Honestly, I think it is easier now because the toddlers are coming up on two and a half years old and our oldest is five years old. They listen better. They play together better. They have more imaginative games and like to push cars or play pretend instead of banging blocks together and stealing toys from their big brother. I can get them all doing an activity and mop the floors or have them fold a load of wash rags from the laundry while I clean the kitchen. If they dont behave or dont have their "listening ears on," as I like to say, then they are sent to their room. If they were being completely naughty, they are sent to their bed and cannot get off of it. If they were only misbehaving in a small way, they can quietly play in their room and can come out when they are ready to participate.

Now that our twins are almost two and a half, we have outlawed whining. We dont take it. No whining following along after me. No whining for more. No whining at your brother. No whining for a toy or because youre bored or because you dont know the word. They can say "please" or "help, please" or "Momma help, please" or any word they can think of instead of whining. I want to hear, "More milk, please" or "No, thank you" or "Foot hurt" or "Cup empty" or "Hungry." Whatever it is, I dont want to hear: "Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom....."

And we are enforcing this. It has been an uphill battle, but we are fighting it. It is worth it. I love when I say, "No whining, sir. You need to use words," and he says, "Cup empty." I love when I send them to their room for whining and say, "You can come out when you are ready to stop whining and use words," and he marches his little self out five minutes later with a big smile on his face, ready to use words. Those small victories are progress. They make up for the times that we put a toddler in his room over and over for whining or when we are putting two toddlers in their room over and over again for whining-- long, endless afternoons.

Between the enforcement of our new no-whining rule and their ability to play, housecleaning is much less of a chore. I can tell the boys that I need ten minutes to finish a task, like sweeping the floors, or cleaning the bathtub. Not saying it always goes perfect, but it is easier.

Here is my plan for cleaning our house:

The overall goal of this method is to clean a little bit each day. The fundamental principle is to pick up as you go. Dont save the mess for a different day or get to it later. If you are in the kitchen and a dirty glass is in the sink, put it in the dishwasher. If you walk through the family room and a toy car is next to the couch, drop it over the baby gate by the playroom. Be the change.

Outside of that, I follow these five simple steps everyday:
  1. Clean the kitchen and table everyday
  2. Sweep the kitchen as needed, most likely everyday
  3. Do the dishes right away-- dont leave them for later!
  4. Tidy playroom everyday-- have the boys help clean up their mess
  5. Tidy the living spaces
Right now the toddlers are making a much bigger mess than our five-year old is, so were really feeling it isnt fair for him to have to do the bulk of the picking up by himself. We help them all pick up the playroom every night and, if it is really messy, before afternoon nap. Our five-year old is awesome at picking it up. Our two-year olds are getting better and better; they still need to be directed to small tasks, "Clean up the trains," instead of "Clean up the playroom," but they complete each of the tasks in a timely manner. (Consistency, consistency, consistency.)

For the actual housecleaning, it works best if you start with a totally clean house, top to bottom. From there, you break up all the big tasks. I have mine broken down to a 2-week rotation, starting over again after completing week 2.

MONDAY
Week 1 and 2 (same):
Laundry
Floors: sweep and mop, vacuum
 
TUESDAY
Laundry
Week 1:
Bathrooms: toilets, sinks, mirrors, quick clean of showers/tubs
Week 2:
Bathrooms: toilets, sinks, mirrors, thorough clean of showers/tubs

WEDNESDAY
Week 1 and 2 (same):
Laundry
Wash towels: kitchen towels, bathroom towels

THURSDAY
Week 1 and 2 (same):
Laundry
Floors: sweep and mop

FRIDAY
Week 1:
Wash bedding: master and childrens
Week 2:
Wash bedding: master and guest (if used)

SATURDAY
Week 1:
Dust and 10-minute clean
Week 2:
Pantry and fridge, 10-minute clean

SUNDAY
Meal plan for the week
 
There are, of course, other things that need to happen when housecleaning, like cleaning the walls or the floorboards. Things that happen once a month or once every couple months, I do on an as-needed basis. I will tackle those tasks, but it will probably be on a random day when the boys are napping and I dont have anywhere to be. I am not scheduling the floorboards! (I hate doing them.)
 
With all of the scheduling that I have done since our twins were born-- look back on my first blog posts-- I have learned that over scheduling can be as big of a detriment as not scheduling. Your day starts feeling trapped or played through before youve even gotten out of bed. Once the boys reached toddlerhood, we threw out our structured schedule (save for bedtime, which is promptly at 8:00 pm), and started letting things naturally happen. Dont get me wrong, we 100% feel that schedule was much needed and we would do it the same way all over again (read my blog post "Light at the end of the schedule"). Im a scheduler and a planner and, as recently pointed out to me, an over-thinker. I like to know what Im getting done each done each day and I like to plan it out. Scheduling, to some level, is just how I roll. So while I have the household chores broken down by what Im doing each day, I have not scheduled when Im doing them. Sometimes I do them as the boys are eating breakfast and contained in highchairs (like the bathrooms). Sometimes I do them during naptime (like mopping or moving laundry).
 
And some things just dont always happen according to plan. To quote Disneys Pirates of the Caribbean, "I like to think of them more as...guidelines." Today I cleaned the house from top to bottom. One week I did two days worth of tasks every other day to take the middle day off. Whatever works. Doing laundry Monday through Thursday with Friday through Sunday off is more of a goal. My mom told me that it never worked for her to take weekends off when we all were young and it hasnt worked for me yet either. Our washer and dryer hum away with at least one load seven days a week. Maybe Ill get down to Monday through Thursday-- wishful thinking, Im sure.

Sundays I take off from housecleaning to relax with my family and do our meal planning for the week. I need to do a whole blog post on meal planning-- which I will. What I will say about meal planning is that it makes dinnertime a whole lot easier each night. Dinner doesnt have to be fancy. Dinner just has to be nummy and nutritious, wholesome, reminiscent of home... your home. Tonight we had leftovers and supplemented those leftovers with a Kashi Steam Meal. Everyone was happy! We used up our leftovers and it was easy for me to make, plus the kids loved it. The meal planning is another way that I take the stress out of my day. I dont have the oh-crap-whats-for-dinner question looming over me everyday at 2 oclock in the afternoon.
 
When my mom recently came to visit and she saw my schedule posted above my washer and dryer in my laundry room, she said I was a domestic goddess. So Im running with it. If I was going to be a goddess, I think I would much rather be a goddess of love or victory, but Ill take what I can get. :)


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