baby weight loss in first week | JOB STRESS SHORT MENSTRUAL CYCLES

baby weight loss in first week

Job Stress Leads To Short Menstrual Cycles

Stress, infertility, and miscarriage all seem to be related especially for women who are on the "career track".
 Here is an interesting study that looked at how job stress can affect the length of your menstrual cycle, which, of course, could affect fertility:

RESULTS

Women whose work was classified as stressful were
twice as likely to experience short cycles as those
working in other jobs (table 2). This relation was also
seen when cycle length was examined as a continuous
variable; stressful work was associated with a decrease
in mean cycle length of almost 1 day...

____________________________________________________

See Also "Short Menstrual Cycles and Fertility (www.getpregnantover40.com)

____________________________________________________
 
...Exposure to stress has a number of known physiologic
consequences (1-3). There are plausible mechanisms
through which stress could alter hormonal profiles
and, in turn, menstrual outcomes (2, 3). The
hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis is activated during
stress and can affect the female reproductive system
(2). Stress can increase the levels of corticotropinreleasing
hormone and glucocorticoids (2). The former
suppresses hypothalamic gonadotropin-releasing hormone
secretion, which stimulates the production of
follicle-stimulating hormone and luteinizing hormone,
which activate the ovary to secrete estradiol and progesterone
(3). Glucocorticoids inhibit pituitary luteinizing
hormone and ovarian estrogen and progesterone
secretion (3). High levels of luteinizing hormone and
high peak levels of luteinizing hormone have been
reported to be associated with long menstrual cycles
(30). One possible explanation of work-related stress
and increased risk for short cycle length is that
luteinizing hormone secretion has been inhibited by an
increase in corticotropin-releasing hormone or glucocorticoids.
Menstrual outcomes are important as they may be
intervening mechanisms or markers for other health
outcomes such as fertility, osteoporosis, and breast
cancer (5).
 excerpted from American Journal of Epidemiology

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post pregnancy weight loss celebrities | ST ANNE WAS AN ELDERLY MOTHER

post pregnancy weight loss celebrities

First, let me say I am not by any stretch of the imagination a religious scholar.  But through my reading, I have discovered that the grandmother of Jesus (Marys mother) was considered quite elderly when she had her daughter Mary.  Most sources say that Anne and her husband Joachim were married for 20 year and had no children, although they certainly wanted them.  The legend suggests that Anne prayed that if she were given a child, she would dedicate it to the Lords service.  An angel came to Anne and told her she would conceive a child.

picture: catholic.org

SEE ALSO: INFERTILITY IN THE BIBLE and BIBLICAL STORIES OF INFERTILITY (Getpregnantover40.com) 

They did have a child, again at an "elderly" age (although I cant seem to find how old she actually was) and of course named her Mary.  Even though they longed for this child, when Mary was three, they brought her to the Temple of Jerusalem where they left her to be brought up.  And, Mary became the mother of Jesus.

I realize I have a number of readers of different faiths, but every now and then I like to bring up historical stories of infertility and older motherhood.

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how to weight loss during pregnancy | PCSing tips from a Navy wife and mother of three

how to weight loss during pregnancy

 

This is our third PCS together. There were a lot of reasons why this past move went as well as it did, many of which you already know if you read my last blog post, "PCS to South Carolina." Here are the major reasons as to why this was such a good move:

• My husband was home on both ends and did not have to go into work much. In North Carolina he was working with the ROTC after he graduated college; he took 10 days of house hunting leave during our PCS. Now in South Carolina he is on hold before he actually starts power school. We did not have to deal with a boat schedule or him being underway while I set up the move. That was a nice change (read "STA-21 Officers Program").
• Since we moved one state down (North Carolina to South Carolina), we did not have to ship any vehicles and try to figure out how we were going to negotiate having one car for an extended period of time.
• Along the same vein, we also did not have to deal with getting specific power of attorneys to ship vehicles, do the pack out, accept HHG shipment, yadda yadda yadda... Plus I always have the durable unlimited power of attorney which has made our life much easier.
• We had baby-sitters and friends to help when we moved from North Carolina. We even knew someone in South Carolina who brought us dinner when our HHGs were delivered.
• We were able to load up our car with our pantry ingredients and a cooler with some of our refrigerator ingredients. We did not have to deal with empty cupboards for a week or two before making the Worlds Most Expensive Costco Trip like we have had to on every other move.
• We were able to do a direct move. Our pack out dates were a Wednesday and a Thursday. They loaded our HHGs onto the truck in North Carolina on Friday and they were delivered at our address in South Carolina an hour after we got the keys to our house on Monday.

Tools for setting up your HHG move

With all that said, here are the things that I found extremely helpful when setting up our HHG move:

• Our move notebook was awesome! I wrote a blog post about what is in our move notebook called, "Write it all down." Since my husband was home, I liked that we were able to keep all our information straight between what he was working on and what I was working on. He knew where to look for important phone numbers and I knew where to look to get a copy of our orders. When we actually moved, I did carry our file organizer with us instead of putting our passports and birth certificates, etc, in the move notebook since we just drove one state down. However, during our move from Hawaii to North Carolina, I would have put those documents in my move notebook and not had to carry the cumbersome file organizer.
• Along with the move notebook, I kept a Greenroom Recycled Clipboard from Target handy. This is where I kept notes when I talked to housing and where my husband and I wrote our pre-pack out to-do lists. I tore off sheets of information I needed to keep and put those in the move notebook, but for general notes, I liked having the clipboard. It was also much easier to carry this clipboard with me when waiting for a return phone call from housing than lugging the entire move notebook to our sons park and rec class.

First Day Bag

Once we actually got the keys to our new house in South Carolina, our first day bag was awesome. This is the first time that I did a first day bag; every other move I kicked myself when I realized I didnt have toilet paper or soap or some other necessity, impatiently waiting for lunch break so I could run to Target. So a huge thank you to my husband for reminding me to pack a first day bag. I know some people do a first day box that gets packed with their HHGs and is clearly marked FIRST DAY BOX, that way they have those supplies in their new house. We just put the first day bag in our vehicle and drove it down with us. Here is what I put inside:

• A pack of toilet paper
• Hand soap-- put in 1 or 2 soap dispensers
• Small size of dish soap
• Roll of paper towels
• White cleaning rag
• Clorox wipes
• Hand sanitizer
• Ziploc bag of dishwasher detergent
• Ziploc bag of Tide Pods for laundry
• Several plastic Target bags
• Box of Ziploc bags, quart size
• If you have young kids: Extra baby wipes
• If you have young kids: A couple of diapers
•  If you have room: a couple of hand towels

This was to get us through the first day or two before we started unpacking our bathroom boxes and to tide us over in case of laundry emergency with kids (plastic bag for dirty clothes, laundry pods for loads that need to get washed at the hotel or after our washer and dryer got hooked up). I only packed one hand soap dispenser and I really wish that I had put in at least two. We ended up using the dish soap in the kitchen and putting the hand soap in the bathroom. The Clorox wipes were a stroke of genius. I used those a lot the first couple days. I dont know about you, but I like to clean my new house before using the amenities. I felt much more at home with this Mary Poppins-esque bag at my disposal. The paper towels worked fine, though I do wish that I had thrown in a hand towel or two for the bathroom and the kitchen.

 Making unpacking easier

I think a lot of people make unpacking a harder process than it needs to be. Sometimes it is really overwhelming opening up a box to find it full of random mail from your old house, DVDs that you dont have room for, blankets you havent unpacked the bin for, and tchotchkes you had sitting around your old living room. Even harder (for me): figuring out how to set up your new kitchen. There you are, standing in a kitchen with empty cupboards, stacked high with boxes marked kitchen, and you dont know where to begin. Where to put the cooking spoons? Or the silverware? Or the spices? And as you unpack boxes, good Lord, where am I going to put this small kitchen appliance that I had totally forgotten about?

In all honesty, one of the most stressful things for me about unpacking our house is when my husband is home to help. We have totally different styles. He wants to get everything out of boxes and see everything that needs to go in a room, like the kitchen, before putting anything away. To me, this is a wildly unrealistic way to unpack because 1. we have kids who will break everything we leave sitting around and 2. if we unpacked all our HHG before putting them away, we would have so much clutter for weeks that I would probably lose my mind. My style of unpacking is much more "me do it." I can figure it out; I just want to get it done. This is why I always have my grandmother move with me because she is the same way. She works in one room; I work in another. I move boxes for her; she asks if I use something often, and we just unpack and file everything away one box at a time. This move, my husband and I talked about things before our HHGs were delivered and it actually went perfectly-- so perfectly that I dont know what Ill do if I have to move without him next time! He was such a huge help and totally organized our garage while helping me in the house; I dont know how he got everything done that he did-- plus he hung everything in our house beautifully. Sometimes combining two different styles is just what you need to get a house unpacked quickly and efficiently. :)

Here are my tips on unpacking your house:

• Communicate. Whether you are unpacking your house with your husband or a relative who came to help, figure out who is unpacking what, even if it is room by room. If it is your house and you have someone helping you, tell them what you need help with and give them the freedom to do it. Give them a specific job. "Would you mind organizing this hall cupboard? I need the medicine up high, out of the reach of the kids, but everything else is up to you. I do like things grouped together, like hand towels, or childrens medicine." When unpacking with your spouse, figure out what your plan of action is. "I plan on doing the closets next; what about you?" If you really want something done a certain way, tell your spouse so there isnt conflict later, especially if it is one of "your" areas of the house. For instance, my husband spends a lot of time working in the garage and so he set it up how he wanted to. He asked if there was anything special I wanted in the garage and I told him I wanted the kids toys easily accessible.
• Prioritize. Unpack your house by order of priority. Since we have small kids, we needed their room unpacked so they could sleep safely each night-- no boxes stacked in the corner or loose screws laying about. We pulled the boxes out of their playroom and unpacked enough of their toys that they had a safe place to play while we unpacked the rest of the house. I then unpacked enough of their bathroom that we could do baths at night. The kitchen is a big priority because that is where we cook our meals. Laundry room is a huge priority so I can start washing sheets and clothes. I got those areas squared away before doing things like my closet. I wanted my closet unpacked so I could get ready quicker, and then I went back and finished things like the bathrooms, before going to lower priority things like finishing the playroom and unpacking and organizing my books. With small children, things like hanging pictures becomes a big priority once you have unpacked the majority of the pictures because they become a hazard stacked in a corner of the room.
• Organize. This doesnt mean folding all of your towels just so as you put them away or putting every dish in the cupboard exactly how you want it the first time. As you unpack, you will have those "oh, crap" moments of you-forgot-just-how-many-towels-you-own or when-on-earth-did-I-get-so-many-small-kitchen-appliances or where-the-Hades-am-I-going-to-store-my-canned-goods. You will be shifting things as you unpack. However, plan. Eyeball your house. Where do you want to keep your household linens? Or your medications? Or your shoes? Figure out rough ideas of homes for these things and congregate items as you go. Where is a safe place (safe meaning out of the reach of toddlers) to put your trinkets as you unpack them? Right now I have a shelf in the garage with our decorative vases, many of which will eventually find their permanent places inside the home-- just havent gotten to it yet. When you unpack those random boxes, it wont be so stressful if you know where you are planning on keeping extra blankets or your office files.
• Re-purpose. As the movers brought in our furniture, they would ask me where I wanted large furniture items that-- I kid you not-- I had completely forgotten about. I had to shift the room to accommodate those pieces. Some things ended up where they are because that was the only place I had room to put them. Our night stand is now in my closet. Just because a piece of furniture was an end table or your toy organizer at your last house doesnt mean that it cant become your new nightstand or a bookcase in your living room at your new house. Look at your furniture with a new eye as it gets unpacked. Would that work as a desk in your office? Or could that now be the dresser in your kids room? And wouldnt that be just the thing to organize your playroom? Use your storage bins creatively. What if you took this bin out of your kitchen and used it instead in your guest room? Or organized all your homeschooling things with it?
• Donate. As we unpack, we keep a sturdy medium size box open at all times marked clearly DONATE and another marked TRASH. Dont keep what you dont need. Sometimes it is hard to throw things away at your old house because you cant see that house without it-- what would you put in that odd corner if you got rid of that chair or lamp? In your new house, you see that you dont need it. You dont need these toys or these clothes or those books or that desk. Get rid of it. Do it while it is fresh, before you settle in. Designate a corner of your garage or porch as your DONATE pile. Dont move your junk drawer from one house to another. Start your new junk drawer fresh, only putting in it some pens, paper, and a flashlight. Get rid of the rest. I like to think of it as paying it forward. Give these things to someone who wants them or needs them. Give them to a charity. Welcome your family to your new home with some good Karma and a fresh start. The donate box is also especially useful because if I have something that Im really stumped with finding a place for that I rarely use, I donate it.
• Simplify. I know a lot of people wash all their sheets and towels before putting them away after they move, or wash all of their kitchen appliances, dishes, and silverware before putting them away. I wait. Ill fill the dishwasher with our everyday dishes and our everyday silverware, but everything else waits. I wash the kitchen appliances before I use them. I eventually wash all our kitchen gadgets. Weve been in our new home for two weeks and today I pulled all our kitchen gadgets out of their drawers and washed everything, filling up the sink and soaking them in hot, soapy water before washing them all and laying them out to dry over towels on the kitchen counter. This move I packed clean sheets for all the beds with me, eliminating the loads of sheets before making the beds. Ive slowly washed the other sheets these past two weeks. You dont have to do it all right away when your house is in boxes! Clean as you go. Dont make it more stressful.

Moving with young children

We have three boys: a five-year old and two-year old twins. I really worried about moving with all three of them. I stressed over whether I should go buy plastic bins to organize their toys, put all the Matchbox cars in one, all the action figures in another, etc. I agonized over what toys I should bring for them to the hotel and our drive, what movies, what games. I stressed about how to make this transition easier for them. In the end, we packed our Jeep so tight that we werent able to get the train table out once we checked into our hotel (yes, I planned on bringing the whole dang train table into the hotel room with us) and I forgot to pack any DVDs at all before our HHGs were packed up. What worked best for them was keeping naptime the same and having fun, individual activities, like sticker books and magnetic drawing boards. I did bring some of their favorite books with us to the hotel so that we could all read together and they liked the time in Mommy and Daddys lap before bed and we had a bag of Duplos with us. All three of the boys played with those in the hotel and in our new house before their toys started coming off the truck. The biggest thing to remember is that the kids feed off of your energy. The more stressed you are, the more stressed they are. I had to remind myself often that it will all come together, it will all work out. There were many times during unpacking that I changed tactics to include the kids, "Hey, can you put all the paper in this box? Can you put the toys in the bin?" or that I took fun breaks, like hooking up the sprinkler and sitting outside with them. The best times, I found, to get real work done were during mealtime (strapped in their highchairs), naptime, and bedtime. While my husband fed them, I would work on projects I didnt want three small sets of hands involved in; this usually resulted in me eating standing up at random times of the day. Big, time consuming projects that involved both my husband and I, like hanging the pictures in the house, we did first thing in the morning when the boys were still fresh and upbeat.

And if you are PCSing soon, best of luck to you on your upcoming move!
-Kimber

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huge weight loss during pregnancy | Domestic goddess

huge weight loss during pregnancy

Picture taken by TwinBug Photography at twinbugphotography@yahoo.com

If you have read my blog post "0-2 year old twin must-haves," you know how I feel about having a housekeeper. However, things have changed for us. We moved from North Carolina to South Carolina (read "PCS to South Carolina") and our financial situation has changed (student loans!). We moved away from our housekeeper in North Carolina and do not have plan to get one-- yet-- here in South Carolina.

My husband and I have had many discussions regarding a housekeeper. While our opinion on having a housekeeper is remarkably similar, I still want to knee him in the... well, you know, whenever he says, "We really dont need a housekeeper. We really can do it just fine" (my emphasis). Who does the housework around here, if not the housekeeper? Thats right! Me! ;)

Our agreement is basically that we want to let our finances settle from the move, have a chance to adjust our family budget to the new pay (and the student loans that we are going to have to start paying on), and see how we feel about getting a housekeeper then. Our last housekeeper came once every two weeks; we might look into having someone come every two or three weeks, maybe even once a month. Well see.

But more than that has changed: it has gotten easier!

Yes, you heard me right: it has gotten easier!!!!!!!

I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for signs of it getting easier-- not just more enjoyable, as I have enjoyed it all-- but easier, where I feel I have things under control and that Im not just way behind the game or playing eternal catch-up. Strangely, going from tidying a three-bedroom two-bathroom house for our housekeeper every two weeks to cleaning a four-bedroom 2.5-bathroom house has been the thing to show me that it has, indeed, gotten easier.

I felt extremely behind taking care of our homes in North Carolina. I felt I was always behind in laundry and always behind in housecleaning. I felt our kitchen got the best of me every night and that dinner was an absolute chore. The housekeeper was much needed. She saved my sanity and gave back some of that time to my kids. My house may have been messy with toys, but it was clean! I felt like I had more time for dinner (though I still had a hard time making that happen with the kids at my feet...) and I could get other things done, like laundry or getting out of the house. My to-do list was that much shorter.

Here in South Carolina our house is much bigger. I would have thought that a bigger house would be more stressful to clean. When we first moved in, I said, "I dont know how Im going to do this!" And then it all fell together. I unpacked our dry-erase calendar (Board Dudes Magnetic Dry-Erase Calendar Tile) and put together a cleaning schedule. Each day I do a really small task and just stay on top of the other stuff (laundry, dishes, getting the kids to put away their toys, husband and I put away our things when done with them)-- really basic things.

Honestly, I think it is easier now because the toddlers are coming up on two and a half years old and our oldest is five years old. They listen better. They play together better. They have more imaginative games and like to push cars or play pretend instead of banging blocks together and stealing toys from their big brother. I can get them all doing an activity and mop the floors or have them fold a load of wash rags from the laundry while I clean the kitchen. If they dont behave or dont have their "listening ears on," as I like to say, then they are sent to their room. If they were being completely naughty, they are sent to their bed and cannot get off of it. If they were only misbehaving in a small way, they can quietly play in their room and can come out when they are ready to participate.

Now that our twins are almost two and a half, we have outlawed whining. We dont take it. No whining following along after me. No whining for more. No whining at your brother. No whining for a toy or because youre bored or because you dont know the word. They can say "please" or "help, please" or "Momma help, please" or any word they can think of instead of whining. I want to hear, "More milk, please" or "No, thank you" or "Foot hurt" or "Cup empty" or "Hungry." Whatever it is, I dont want to hear: "Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom....."

And we are enforcing this. It has been an uphill battle, but we are fighting it. It is worth it. I love when I say, "No whining, sir. You need to use words," and he says, "Cup empty." I love when I send them to their room for whining and say, "You can come out when you are ready to stop whining and use words," and he marches his little self out five minutes later with a big smile on his face, ready to use words. Those small victories are progress. They make up for the times that we put a toddler in his room over and over for whining or when we are putting two toddlers in their room over and over again for whining-- long, endless afternoons.

Between the enforcement of our new no-whining rule and their ability to play, housecleaning is much less of a chore. I can tell the boys that I need ten minutes to finish a task, like sweeping the floors, or cleaning the bathtub. Not saying it always goes perfect, but it is easier.

Here is my plan for cleaning our house:

The overall goal of this method is to clean a little bit each day. The fundamental principle is to pick up as you go. Dont save the mess for a different day or get to it later. If you are in the kitchen and a dirty glass is in the sink, put it in the dishwasher. If you walk through the family room and a toy car is next to the couch, drop it over the baby gate by the playroom. Be the change.

Outside of that, I follow these five simple steps everyday:

1. Clean the kitchen and table everyday
2. Sweep the kitchen as needed, most likely everyday
3. Do the dishes right away-- dont leave them for later!
4. Tidy playroom everyday-- have the boys help clean up their mess
5. Tidy the living spaces

Right now the toddlers are making a much bigger mess than our five-year old is, so were really feeling it isnt fair for him to have to do the bulk of the picking up by himself. We help them all pick up the playroom every night and, if it is really messy, before afternoon nap. Our five-year old is awesome at picking it up. Our two-year olds are getting better and better; they still need to be directed to small tasks, "Clean up the trains," instead of "Clean up the playroom," but they complete each of the tasks in a timely manner. (Consistency, consistency, consistency.)

For the actual housecleaning, it works best if you start with a totally clean house, top to bottom. From there, you break up all the big tasks. I have mine broken down to a 2-week rotation, starting over again after completing week 2.

MONDAY
Week 1 and 2 (same):
Laundry
Floors: sweep and mop, vacuum

 

TUESDAY
Laundry
Week 1:

Bathrooms: toilets, sinks, mirrors, quick clean of showers/tubs
Week 2:
Bathrooms: toilets, sinks, mirrors, thorough clean of showers/tubs

WEDNESDAY
Week 1 and 2 (same):
Laundry
Wash towels: kitchen towels, bathroom towels

THURSDAY
Week 1 and 2 (same):
Laundry
Floors: sweep and mop

FRIDAY
Week 1:
Wash bedding: master and childrens
Week 2:
Wash bedding: master and guest (if used)

SATURDAY
Week 1:
Dust and 10-minute clean
Week 2:
Pantry and fridge, 10-minute clean

SUNDAY
Meal plan for the week

 

There are, of course, other things that need to happen when housecleaning, like cleaning the walls or the floorboards. Things that happen once a month or once every couple months, I do on an as-needed basis. I will tackle those tasks, but it will probably be on a random day when the boys are napping and I dont have anywhere to be. I am not scheduling the floorboards! (I hate doing them.)

 

With all of the scheduling that I have done since our twins were born-- look back on my first blog posts-- I have learned that over scheduling can be as big of a detriment as not scheduling. Your day starts feeling trapped or played through before youve even gotten out of bed. Once the boys reached toddlerhood, we threw out our structured schedule (save for bedtime, which is promptly at 8:00 pm), and started letting things naturally happen. Dont get me wrong, we 100% feel that schedule was much needed and we would do it the same way all over again (read my blog post "Light at the end of the schedule"). Im a scheduler and a planner and, as recently pointed out to me, an over-thinker. I like to know what Im getting done each done each day and I like to plan it out. Scheduling, to some level, is just how I roll. So while I have the household chores broken down by what Im doing each day, I have not scheduled when Im doing them. Sometimes I do them as the boys are eating breakfast and contained in highchairs (like the bathrooms). Sometimes I do them during naptime (like mopping or moving laundry).

 

And some things just dont always happen according to plan. To quote Disneys Pirates of the Caribbean, "I like to think of them more as...guidelines." Today I cleaned the house from top to bottom. One week I did two days worth of tasks every other day to take the middle day off. Whatever works. Doing laundry Monday through Thursday with Friday through Sunday off is more of a goal. My mom told me that it never worked for her to take weekends off when we all were young and it hasnt worked for me yet either. Our washer and dryer hum away with at least one load seven days a week. Maybe Ill get down to Monday through Thursday-- wishful thinking, Im sure.

Sundays I take off from housecleaning to relax with my family and do our meal planning for the week. I need to do a whole blog post on meal planning-- which I will. What I will say about meal planning is that it makes dinnertime a whole lot easier each night. Dinner doesnt have to be fancy. Dinner just has to be nummy and nutritious, wholesome, reminiscent of home... your home. Tonight we had leftovers and supplemented those leftovers with a Kashi Steam Meal. Everyone was happy! We used up our leftovers and it was easy for me to make, plus the kids loved it. The meal planning is another way that I take the stress out of my day. I dont have the oh-crap-whats-for-dinner question looming over me everyday at 2 oclock in the afternoon.

 

When my mom recently came to visit and she saw my schedule posted above my washer and dryer in my laundry room, she said I was a domestic goddess. So Im running with it. If I was going to be a goddess, I think I would much rather be a goddess of love or victory, but Ill take what I can get. :)

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after pregnancy weight loss in urdu | NOT A MOTHER ON MOTHERS DAY SURVIVAL TIPS

after pregnancy weight loss in urdu

Trying To Conceive, Surviving Mothers Day

Well, this "holiday" may be the worst one of them all if youre trying to conceive. What could be harder than watching the rest of the country celebrate the joys of motherhood while you sit there stuck in infertility  quicksand.

When I was trying to get pregant, I watched many mothers days come and go. I remember thinking, wouldnt it be neat if I got pregnant right before mothers day and I could announce it to everyone on mothers day? Well...it never happens like that unless youre reading a romance novel or watching made-for-TV movie.
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SEE MORE ARTICLES ON GETTING PREGNANT OVER 40 EVEN AFTER FAILED IVF AND FERTILITY TREATMENTS (getpregnantover40.com)
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My advice? Dont ever put dates or deadlines on when youre going to get pregnant. You really will be setting yourself up for failure. Every pregnancy I had always came as a total shock (even though I was actively trying). I realize that when youre trying to conceive, every month is an opportunity for success, but its when you start trying to force things into place that you get into trouble. If youre not pregnant this month, it doesnt mean that youre doomed. It simply means that youre not pregnant this month. When I really want something, I make my intentions known to the universe through visualization and meditation, and then I try to divert my attention elsewhere. That way I dont try too hard which essentially acts as a roadblock to my success.

So what should you do on Mothers Day? Acknowledge your own mother of course, then go do something you enjoy.

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health weight lose during pregnancy | Eight days a week disciplining three

health weight lose during pregnancy

Picture taken by TwinBug Photography at twinbugphotography@yahoo.com

What a morning we have had! The boys woke up a little before 6:30 in foul little moods. I heard one of them screaming like a banshee and the other two arguing. Dragging myself out of bed I was settling he-touched-my-toy and he-hit-me disputes before even brewing my first cup of coffee-- definitely not my favorite way to wake up. From there it just went downhill. I put all the boys back to bed and hoped they would wake up with sunnier dispositions (and mine too). Sadly, breakfast without whining just wasnt in the cards for us this morning.

So how do you do it? How do you discipline three kids, including two-year old twins? I think this becomes a big question for parents around this age. I know I see it a lot on parenting boards and on twin groups. It is overwhelming to figure out the logistics of time outs when one two-year old is causing mayhem here and the other there and you arent sure who started what in the first place.

In my last blog post, I mentioned our war on whining.

Now that our twins are almost two and a half, we have outlawed whining. We dont take it. No whining following along after me. No whining for more. No whining at your brother. No whining for a toy or because youre bored or because you dont know the word. They can say "please" or "help, please" or "Momma help, please" or any word they can think of instead of whining. I want to hear, "More milk, please" or "No, thank you" or "Foot hurt" or "Cup empty" or "Hungry." Whatever it is, I dont want to hear: "Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom....."

And we are enforcing this. It has been an uphill battle, but we are fighting it. It is worth it. I love when I say, "No whining, sir. You need to use words," and he says, "Cup empty." I love when I send them to their room for whining and say, "You can come out when you are ready to stop whining and use words," and he marches his little self out five minutes later with a big smile on his face, ready to use words. Those small victories are progress. They make up for the times that we put a toddler in his room over and over for whining or when we are putting two toddlers in their room over and over again for whining-- long, endless afternoons.

Three kids whining at the kitchen table is like nails on the chalkboard. At those moments, I need to remind myself of the reasons why I love motherhood: toddler hugs and kisses, story time on the couch, the first I love yous, watching the three of them play together. There is nothing endearing about whining. The whining has gotten worlds better since we approached it with a firm hand. I think the war on whining will just take time and consistency.

For other behaviors, it has been trial and error. What works for one boy might not work for another; what is really effective for one boy is less effective on another. For instance, time outs are heartbreaking for one of our toddlers and a hilarious joke for the other; our oldest, if we put him in time out, immediately pretends that he is a baby, doing baby talk and the whole shtick. And some things just dont work for me as the mother who is enforcing these things, even if they work for my friends and their kids. Like one of my friends says that when her oldest starts pretending to be a baby, they run with it, really making her live the life of a baby and all that comes with it. While this did teach their oldest that she did not want to be a baby anymore, but rather the big sister, Im much our about swift punishment and moving on from the offending behavior immediately.

Ive really been enforcing that bad behavior means losing privileges, good behavior means gaining privileges. This morning when the boys were being so badly behaved, they all lost privileges even though only one of them was being exceedingly naughty (the other two were goading him).  So after breakfast when they all ran to the gate, one screaming on the top of this lungs, the others clamoring next to him, "Momma! Momma!" I sent them all to their beds. No more. I had been going in their room every five minutes for the past twenty minutes and was accomplishing nothing: the kitchen was still a mess and I was no closer to being ready for church. I told them that I would not settle every one of their petty disputes-- they need to work it out. And there they sat, each one on his own bed, no talking, no getting off their beds, no hollering for mom. I made them stay on their beds until I finished my to-do list. I got ready and I finished cleaning up the kitchen. The toddlers had a hard time staying on their beds. They would spot a toy across the room and try to run to grab it. When I heard them, I came in, took the toy away, and sent them back to their beds. They only got up twice during their loss of privileges. Our oldest knew better than to get out of bed and was sadly watching his wallet resting at the bottom of his ladder. It had fallen off his bed, the top bunk, when he was settling in and he wished he had it up there with him.

Consistency. It is exhausting. It is exhausting the days that they dont want to listen and exhausting breaking habits they formed during our transition period from moving. We allowed a lot of things during the madness of this past move (read "Asthma, STA-21, commissioning, and PCSing-- yikes!"). Some days I am so glad that we have chosen the battles that we have. I love when I see them using the problem solving skills weve taught them. Im sitting outside with them right now and one of the toddlers knocked a ball into the gutter. Instead of screaming loudly like he did the whole first week we moved here (our new driveway has a slight slant), he said, "Help please, brother," and our oldest came over and got it for him. Or when one of the boys accidentally runs into one of his brothers and immediately says, "Im sorry! Are you okay?" (or "Sorry! Okay?" as the toddlers say), instead of rushing to me, "I didnt mean to! I didnt do anything!" Other days I just wish they would all get along. I really dislike settling these knock down drag out petty disputes first thing in the morning. Maybe I should work on a rule: no fighting until Momma has had a cup or two of coffee? :)

The hardest thing about discipline or working out unseemly behaviors is the temptation to compare yourself or your kids to other families. It is so hard not to wonder what "shes doing different" when you see a mom at the grocery store with kids happily riding in the grocery cart. It is hard not to wonder why your kids wont share when you see brothers stacking blocks together on a playdate. You see a mom tell her kids to knock it off, without counting to three or dishing out threats, and you think, "How does she get them to listen to her??" I dont know. I try not to compare. I love the times that my boys are the well-behaved boys, the few and far between times. We went to Target yesterday and all three of them walked like gentlemen the whole trip including waiting at the check-out counter; all the customers kept complimenting their sweet faces and good manners. This is in stark contrast to the trip my mom and I took the other day when she was in town visiting. Our oldest burst into tears in the parking lot because she veered away from us as we were walking to the store, "Where is Momma going?!" Our toddlers refused to ride in the shopping cart seats and we instead spent the entire trip telling them to "sit down!" in the shopping cart baskets. One of the toddlers ended having a full-blown temper tantrum and my mom had to leave the store with him. We cut our errands short and came home for early lunch and early nap; we never did end up going on the second half our shopping outing. Those two trips were so vastly different, yet they were the same kids, same time of day. I feel like I spin the Wheel of Fortune every time I leave the house, "Will this be a good trip or a bad trip?"

The other struggle is not wanting to be "that mom." Oh, you know, "that mom." That mom you saw before you had kids, deafly pushing a shopping cart of screaming kids through the romance novel section in Target. That mom at the park vacantly texting as her kids rub dirt in each others hair. That mom caving at the check out counter and buying a candy bar for a grubby child already holding a sippy cup of juice and a packet of gummy fruits. And here I am, sitting out front with my boys as they shovel dirt onto our basketball goal while I write a blog post. I wonder what people would think of this snapshot of my life. That really is what those moments are when you see these mothers that you dont know: a snapshot. Ive bribed my kids at the grocery store the day before, for various reasons. My husband and I recently bribed our kids when we made a Costco run the evening our HHGs were delivered. We needed to get mattresses for our boys room. I wonder what people thought of us there as we pushed these big carts with three mattresses piled on, our boys eating bag after bag of applesauce. Not every battle at every moment is worth fighting; I get that. Consistency will win the war, but kids can win a battle every now and then.

This was shared a lot the other week by my mommy friends on Facebook: The Matt Walsh Blog, "Dear Parents, you need to control your kids. Sincerely, non-parents."

This is my blog post encouraging moms to be supportive of each other: "We are moms"

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