weight loss during pregnancy due to healthy eating | Yelling

weight loss during pregnancy due to healthy eating

I suppose every mommy blogger at some point has to write a post on yelling. Is it possible to raise kids without yelling? Im throwing this out there: no.

I know that there is someone reading this right now with a look of indignation on their face, "What?! I would never yell at my kids!" Good for you.

Now before I get lots of mommy judging, we really put forth an effort to not be a yelling family. My husband is just naturally gifted at not yelling. His even temper is one of the things I love most about him. It genuinely takes a lot for him to lose his cool, so much so that in our seven and a half years of marriage I can count the number of times that I have heard him raise his voice at me. I mean, we are talking about a very mellow guy. Me? Yeah... I am a lot like that. Except opposite. I would describe myself as a passionate person, which is why my husband and I work well together. I bring the passion; he brings the logic.

Frustrated or angry feelings toward our children demand a different form of communication though. (Not saying I just yell at my husband, but he at least can rationalize and understand when I do. Read my blog post on "Marriage.") They arent my peers. Their brains dont work how my brain works; they truly dont think how I do. Half the time, they dont fully understand what it is that they have done wrong or what has irritated/upset me so much. Even worse, sometimes they havent even done anything wrong. They are just being toddlers-- while frustrating, totally age appropriate. (Read Hands Free Mamas blog post, "The Important Thing About Yelling.") Simply put, yelling at them isnt fair in those situations, nor does it actually get through to them. I can actually see the point when they have totally checked out of my message and they are just wondering when Mommy is going to stop being mad at them.

But is yelling always wrong? No, I honestly dont think so. I feel that there are very appropriate times for yelling, especially when you dont yell all the time. When all my boys are screaming over each other, one darting off with a toy he stole from his brother and the other chasing after screeching at full volume while the last is hollering it is his turn... I can try at that moment (and I do try) to get their attention. Sometimes I am able to get the attention of the bandit, but not always, especially now in my third trimester. I cant chase a child, nor do I feel that as the mother it teaches them to listen when I chase after them. So I either yell, "STOP!" or the name of the child absconding with the goods. I dont keep yelling. Im yelling to get their attention. Once I have their attention, I speak to them. Other times I feel yelling is appropriate in some danger situations, not all. If the child is teetering towards, say, an open flame, yelling could startle the child into falling in. When our boys are rough housing as we unload the van and no one is listening to my instructions to calm down and hold hands, yes, yelling is appropriate, "STOP NOW!" Once I have their attention, I can get them to follow instructions and we can safely cross the parking lot.

I try to stick to three rules when yelling at our kids: 1. Yelling to get their attention and 2. Dont yell in anger and 3. Dont yell when it is not getting through. The first rule is what I just described, yelling a childs name or a command, "Stop!" "Wait!" "No, sir!" And, as I said, once I have their attention I speak to them. Continuing to yell completely loses the message. They are not going to listen to a long tirade. Im not saying I dont use the "Mommy No-Nonsense Voice." I most definitely do. If the boys are pushing their boundaries and I need to get their attention and reprimand them, Im not using the same voice I use when suggesting we all head over for a picnic at the park. No, they are hearing the voice of, "If you do not stop, we are leaving." But that is not yelling. Different tones help convey different messages and let them know where their behavior is falling. Getting their attention doesnt always mean a reprimand. It can mean a loud, "HEY! You guys need to follow me to the back porch like gentlemen and we can all have freeze pops." It all depends on the circumstance.

The second rule is pretty easy to understand. Dont yell in anger. This is where you can get into trouble yelling. Again, Ive most definitely yelled at my children in anger. Ive yelled out of frustration. "WHY CANT WE USE LISTENING EARS TODAY? IS THAT SO HARD?" It happens. We all get upset sometimes. We all sometimes say things we didnt mean to say in a tone we didnt mean to say it in. After losing my temper one day I called my mom. She wisely told me that it is bound to happen when you spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with someone. The most important thing to do after losing your temper is to own up to it and apologize. "I am sorry for yelling at you earlier. I did not handle that well and I am sorry. Will you please forgive me?" When I do yell at our kids this way, which I do not do often, I make sure that I never put the blame on them. "I am sorry for yelling at you when you spilled my sweet tea. Next time you should be more careful so I dont lose my temper like that." It is never our kids fault when I lose my cool. I did not yell because our child did something-- I yelled because I lost control of my temper. I love watching 19 Kids and Counting on TLC. I am always impressed with how Michelle Duggar handles their household. On her blog post, "Michelle Speaks About Motherhood," she is asked by Melissa at MOPS, "How did you learn to speak to your children softly, even when you are angry?" One of the things I love about Michelle Duggar is that she is always honest, so of course she answers honestly:

I haven’t mastered this one yet. Just the other day, several of my boys made a mess in the living room. It was just normal kid stuff, but I got angry and overreacted to the mess. But I feel that by God’s grace, he is giving me some success over yelling. There are times I have to whisper to myself, “I’m not going to lose it. I am going to stay calm.” 

On my page tab, "How do you do it?" I have the verse: ??Psalm 121:1-3, "I lift my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber." I too depend on Gods grace.

The third rule trumps the other two rules. If we are out at the park and I keep having to yell at the boys, "Stop!" "Wait!" "Hold on!" It is time to go. If my instructions are not getting through and they are immediately disregarding what Im saying to them, it is time for a complete change of activity. If we are at home and Im trying to get ready and the boys are all ignoring the house rule of "no rough housing in the family room," I will probably holler from my bedroom, "Boys! Calm down!" That usually will get them to stop. If I have to holler again, I come out and calmly issue a warning, "You guys either need to sit and watch your show or go play in the playroom." The third time I come out, I turn off the television and tell them it is time to go play somewhere else. Sometimes they will happily go play in the playroom or back porch and I can finish getting ready. Sometimes they just move from being way too rough in the family room to being way too rough in the playroom or back porch and Im constantly interrupted (and thus unable to finish getting ready) by tears and arguments. This is when I know that Im not getting through to them and they need to go sit on their beds. This is definitely a time where I start feeling frustrated. I feel like Im giving them great options-- watching shows, playing in the playroom, splashing in the water table on our back porch-- and instead they want to fuss and fight and yell and scream. It is frustrating. Its been really important for me to figure out a solution that doesnt upset me because when I am interrupted every thirty seconds by yet another fight, it gets exhausting. That is why I have them sit on their beds in their own space and I can take the 10 minutes I need to pray, refocus, get ready, and face the day still fresh without feeling like we got off on the wrong foot (which, as every mom knows, has a tendency to affect the outcome of the rest of the day). This third rule also helps when I break the second rule. If I feel myself getting frustrated and raising my voice too much, it really helps to remind myself that this is not getting through to them. All I am doing is yelling to hear my own voice, let out my frustration. It is time for a different plan of action that is less frustrating for everyone. If I am feeling frustrated by how they are behaving, they are probably feeling frustrated with our current activity. If a free-for-all in the playroom is making them fuss and fight, they are probably needing something more structured. If our outside play time is dissolving in tears and toy battles, it is probably time to switch activities. Getting angry and yelling at them will not make them get along better if they themselves are done participating in our current activity.

For me, my biggest obstacle is feeling frustrated, especially lately. Weve really been focusing on our household rules now that we are rapidly approaching the arrival of baby #4. We dont want baby #4 to arrive on the scene with a bundle of new rules that suddenly all his siblings have to follow. Some of the rules have been our rules for all time-- such as no rough housing in the family room-- but are harder for the boys to follow now that they are 5-years old and 3-years old (the couch is more fun when all the pillows are on the floor and you are jumping on them...). Some of the other rules are new but will be sanity savers when baby #4 arrives, such as playing quietly in their room until a certain time each morning. Feelings of frustration are normal in parenthood. It is hard not to feel frustrated when you get every one out of the house for a fun day at the park and all your toddlers want to do is cling and whine. It is hard not to feel frustrated when Daddy gets home from a long, tiring day at work to walk into a house of screaming, fighting children who are whining that they arent tired. It is very hard not to feel frustrated when I really need to rest my almost 32-weeks pregnant self and the boys are screeching for help in the restroom or battling to the death over a toy in the playroom; it is hard not to feel like, "Dont I ever get a break?"

Times like that are when I turn to God. It sounds cliché, but I remind myself of the verses on love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

I cant create that type of love on my own; that kind of love comes from God. Knowing that this is the love that he puts in my heart to share with my children is how I humble myself to stop when I realize how Im behaving is wrong. Would love feel this angry over a lost Croc? Would love continue to yell at 3-year olds who were being more curious than naughty? Would love remind our 5-year old how he failed earlier that day? No, when I think of these verses, I am reminded that when our boys are feeling frustrated with each other and fussing and whining, sometimes they just need a hug. When I am having a day where I just really feel frustrated and short-tempered, love is what motivates me to talk about it with my girlfriends because it really helps to have someone pray for me, offer sweet words, or simply relate. Im far, far, far from perfect, but I love, love, love these children that we have been blessed with and I hope and pray that every day we show them how big Gods love is.

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weight loss during pregnancy due to morning sickness | Taking it easy while pregnant with baby 4

weight loss during pregnancy due to morning sickness

I hear this all the time lately, "Take it easy."

"Just be sure to take it easy."

"Take it as easy as you can."

"You just really need to take it easy."

I am just over 30 weeks pregnant. I stay at home with our 5 and a half year old, whom we homeschool in preschool, and our 3-year old toddler twins. We have a dog. My husband is in the Navy which, of course, means we live next door to my parents (not).

How do I take it easy?

We went through this when I was pregnant with our identical twins. I was on modified bedrest and had multiple ultrasound appointments and an OB appointment each week. It was exhausting. When I was pregnant with twins, we lived in a small apartment with one toddler; I left the housework to my hubby. It was a small amount of housework and got done whenever he got around to it. (Sometimes in a frustrating amount of time.) But it all worked out.

How did I stay at home and take care of a toddler by myself every day then?

1. Netflix Instant Queue
I never had to get up to change a DVD. I could add shows to our queue from my computer and either watch them on our laptop or from our Blu-Ray player.

2. Toddler Look and Find books
I know I say this all the time, but I seriously loved these. I could sit and do these with our toddlers while I was laid out on the couch and later when I was feeding 2 newborns. There is so much to talk about in these books, from finding his favorite Disney characters to making up stories about what they are doing. These were a huge source of entertainment to us.

3. Melissa and Doug box puzzles
I love these puzzles. There are 4 puzzles in one box. He would drag this puzzle over to me and we could sit and do 4 puzzles without having to get up. We could do the puzzle on the couch because you assemble the puzzle on the lid of the box. Fantastic. We bought several of these during my pregnancy and in the early "twinfant" stages.

Things are different this time around. I dont have one toddler bumming to go to the park when I need to be resting. I cant turn on a show and take a cat nap while he plays quietly on the family room floor. As I write this blog post, Im propped up on the couch enjoying Braxton Hicks while our 3 boys bounce wildly around the playroom. Our house is always loud. Someone is always getting hurt. One day of skipping tidying up and the toys start taking over all our living spaces (a bit hazardous for me since I can barely see my feet!). So what am I doing this time around?

First of all, we have a very different living situation this time around. We dont have a small, quiet apartment to take care of. My husband is working much longer hours and when hes home he takes care of the kids and does a few small chores. He doesnt have time to do all the housework. We dont have a housekeeper helping us out like we did in North Carolina. Instead, I rely a lot on doing small tasks each day. I dont have one big day of housecleaning. We tidy as we go and I accomplish one area of housecleaning earlier in the day when my energy is at its peak. (For our cleaning schedule, check out my blog post, "Domestic goddess.") I also prioritize our house chores. I dont waste my energy doing things that dont need to be done right then or dont need to be done by me. For instance, heavier kitchen appliances that go in awkward cabinets will sit on our kitchen counter all day until my husband gets home to put them away. When I make a huge Costco run, I stack things in my vehicle so when I get home I can unload the freezer/fridge items and leave the rest for when my husband gets home. There is no need to tire myself out doing things that dont have to get done right then. These are small examples, but they add up. Sometimes I look around the house and think, "Man, we need to sweep the floors!" But we dont have company coming over and I already cleaned the bathrooms that day, so I put it off until the following day. Or, lately, I ask our oldest son if he wants to do it. Surprisingly, 9 times out of 10 he enthusiastically says yes; he absolutely loves helping his momma, as he calls it. One of the hardest things for me to do, oddly enough, is pick up toys. The constant bending over to pick up toys from the floor really inflames my round ligaments, not to mention sometimes making me very lightheaded (the joys of pregnancy-- Im anemic too, of course). I never spend time picking up toys anymore. I have the boys pick up their toys throughout the day, but my husband has them clean everything up each night when he gets home. I posted as a Facebook status the other day, "How do you guys get it all done?" My favorite response: "I dont." That really is the answer. I dont get it all done; I dont try to and I dont pretend to. I do what I can.

The number and ages of our children are also different. I was pregnant with our twins when our oldest had just turned 2-years old and then was months shy of turning 3-years old when they were born. I have been pregnant this time with a 5-year old (now 5 and a half year old) and 2.5-years old, just turned 3-years old toddler twins-- 3 kids at busy ages! While we have to sometimes, our kids go nuts staying home all day. They want to ride bikes, play outside, run in circles, and experiment. Homeschooling has been a huge blessing because we are always looking for activities. As this pregnancy has progressed, Ive set guidelines for myself when scheduling our days. I dont do activities that require walking or standing around; I must be able to sit. I dont over schedule our days (well, I really try not to... I accidentally overbooked yesterday). I stick to one or two activities, including errands and bigger chores. I have fun things for our boys to do in our front and back yard. My husband makes sure our outdoor spaces are usable for us. Hes always picking up our back porch so I can sit out there with the boys and watch them play. He keeps our garage organized so all I have to do is open up the garage and pull out our nice, sturdy folding chairs and watch the boys play. I love being able to let them run wild right outside of our house. We have tons of outdoors toys-- a water table, bikes, chalk, hose, sprinkler, scooters, every ball and sport you can think of, bubbles... They love paint brushes and buckets of water; they "paint" everything in sight. This is nice too because they can run in the house and use the restroom and I can fill up my water without having to drag everyone off of play equipment while lugging around all our stuff, like when we go to the park. I do also utilize our neighborhood parks; we pack sand toys and picnic. Sometimes this is our days outing. For the days we have to stay at the house, we have lots of indoor toys and we make sure to pick them up between activities so they stay fun, even if they can reach a lot of these themselves. We have crayons, Play Doh, puzzles, crafts... I really try to do a couple focused activities with them a day, even just helping me make granola bars, so that they arent moving from down time to down time.

Here are some of the things I have loved so far during this pregnancy:

1. Finding a homeschool playdate group
Since we are homeschooling preschool this year and starting to homeschool kindergarten next year, finding a playdate group with fellow homeschoolers has been awesome! (If you arent a homeschooling family, maybe just a mommy playdate group?) Instead of me trying to fill our calendar with things to do, I have this group of moms who are always planning something. They are always posting park meet ups, picnics, bubble playdates, information on local happenings... I love it and my kids love it. I dont go to all the playdates and Ive had to leave early a couple times, but it sure is nice to have low-key playdates outside of our house to take the kids to on our calendar!

2. Brain Quest workbooks
This is for our 5-year old. For our 3-year olds, I am using a lot of the same things I used with their older brother when I was pregnant with them. We do Look and Finds; we watch Netflix. And they are entertained. For our 5-year old... he gets bored. He wants to do something. These have been a recent purchase and Im sooooo glad we got them. We have our homeschool activities (read "Homeschooling 5-year old preschool"), but this is not for homeschool. This is just for the times that he is bumming to play a game and I want to lay on the couch because his brothers are finally quiet. He sits next to me on the couch and works on his workbook. He loves the puzzles and games. These have been very entertaining for him.

3. Well-stocked pantry
While running out of groceries wasnt a huge deal when it was my husband and I feeding a toddler,  now that we are a family of 5, I cant feed our kids just by splitting my meal with them. Eating out gets expensive, not to mention it is very inconvenient at our current duty station. It is exceedingly convenient to be able to make our meals at home (read "Family diet and family budget"). For breakfast we had English muffins, strawberries, and hard boiled eggs. We spent some time outside, came home for lunch, and I let the boys play on the back porch while they ate sandwiches, pickles, and apples. For snack we turned on a movie and picnicked on our family room floor where they had chips, almonds, and dried apricots. Since today has been such a rough pregnant day for me, I threw some tortellini in boiling water and steamed a bag of frozen veggies for dinner. Not fancy, but super easy.

4. Games
Games have been ah-maze-ing this pregnancy. We play so many games. With our 5-year old, we play the obvious preschool games: Chutes and Ladders and Candy Land. We also enjoy playing with him:

• Share a Berry
• SpongeBob Square Pants Yahtzee Junior
• Farkle
• Sorry and Sorry Sliders
• Battleship
• ThinkFun Math Dice Jr
• Uno
• 3-in-1 Jumbo Checkers

We dont play as many games with our 3-year olds. We didnt really start playing a lot of games with our oldest, like seriously play games, until he was around 3.5/4-years old. Playing with all 3 of our kids is a little crazy. We usually can get in 2, maybe 3, rounds before the toddlers are bored and our 5-year old is frustrated. With them, we recently have started playing Uno Moo-- which is actually a lot of fun and our oldest will play with his brothers, even without an adult-- and Cooties. Cooties has been more fun for us to play with the age groups, either with our 5-year old or with our 3-year olds. Our oldest wants to follow every rule and our toddlers just want to build Cooties and make them dance. A game our 3-year olds really like is when we take out their deck of cards and shuffle and deal and pass cards around. There is no rhyme or reason to this game, just holding real playing cards (one of our old decks that is now missing many cards).

5. Let it be
To quote the Beatles, "There will be an answer; let it be." Sometimes I just let it be. The kids are behaving too wildly-- but happily-- in the playroom and Im having horrible round ligament pain? Let it be. Husband called to say he was on his way home when I made steamed veggies and tortellini for dinner? Let it be. Someone knocked on the front door when Im wearing my husbands PT gear and our kitchen counter is covered in dishes? Let it be. Some of this stuff just really doesnt matter that much in the scheme of things. My house is not going to look like how it did before I got pregnant with baby #4 (which isnt how it looked before I got pregnant with babies #2 and #3... which isnt how it looked before I got pregnant with baby #1... notice a trend?). Pregnancy is a temporary state; Im not going to be pregnant forever. Yes, I will be busy when baby #4 gets here and there will be sleepless nights, but I wont be dealing with all the wonderful side effects of pregnancy (note the sarcasm). I cant do it all right now and there is no reason to do it all right now. Our house is operating under a Priority Policy-- if it must get done it will; if not, it wont. The harder side of letting it be has really been saying no. Sometimes there are things I want to do, but I know that after a day with the kids and my hubbys schedule being what it is, that it would be too much for me to go, that I wouldnt have any energy or that I would really pay for it that night with Braxton Hicks. The biggest reason I say no to things is that I know would just be exhausting for me and not fun, like if I would have to spend too much time wrangling the kids. It is what it is. I cant change whats on my plate-- my husbands schedule, our active kids, the point Im at in this pregnancy-- and so I just need to put some thought into what I say yes and no to.

6. Sisters
Ah-- gotta love family. Since we dont live anywhere near family, my sister is going to fly down and stay with us for a month, during an especially busy time in my husbands schedule, when Im even further in the third trimester and having a hard time dealing with his long hours. Im so excited to have her come down and help with the kids and make us dinner and pick up around the house-- er, I mean, Im really looking forward to her company. ;) On some of these really busy days, it is so comforting to think, "Only a couple more weeks and my sister will be here!"

So that is how Ive been taking it easy so far this pregnancy. My definition of taking it easy has evolved with each pregnancy and again this pregnancy with each trimester. Now that Im 30 weeks (home stretch!), Ive really had to put more thought into how I can take it easy with 3 kids.

What are your tips for taking it easy when pregnant, especially if you have other children?

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weight loss during pregnancy diet | Potty training twins Part 5 Follow up

weight loss during pregnancy diet

Before you even read the rest of this, you should know that today is not my best mommy day. I was up half the night with Braxton Hicks. Our asthmatic toddler is having a small flare up, not too bad but enough to put him out of sorts. I woke up exhausted; he woke up whining. Then I served the boys breakfast, crock pot oatmeal with apples, cinnamon, and brown sugar simmered in it all night, topped with walnuts and heavy cream this morning. There was an absolute boycott at breakfast, "What is this? This not how you make oatmeal!" Our oldest said, "I like oatmeal how Marmie makes it, not like this." (Marmie is my momma.) By 9 am, I was exhausted and ready for either a re-do of the day or bedtime. I would like to note that the oatmeal was really good and tasted almost exactly like the instant packets of Quaker Oats Apple and Cinnamon, plus it was ready as soon as we got up!

So this blog post is brought to you by my pleasant weve-made-it-to-mid-afternoon attitude. With that said, I thought this would be the perfect afternoon to give you a follow-up on potty training toddler twins.

How has potty training been going? Im going to say, "Good..."

Why such a tentative answer? You would think that getting 2 toddlers out of diapers would be a hands down relief. I certainly thought it would be (read "Potty training 2.5 year old twin boys?"). In a lot of ways, it is. I dont have to change their poopy diapers; every parent knows that by the time your children are reaching 3-years old, their stinky diapers are horrendous. Not changing those is nice. It is also nice not to worry about buying diapers. While we werent flying through diapers with twin toddlers like we were with twin infants, we still needed a diaper stash. Even better, I havent bought baby wipes in months.

But there is a downside. I read this post by "30 Fingers, 30 Toes: Potty Training & Avoiding Public Restrooms." I couldnt agree more. It is a nightmare. When I go out with the boys by myself, most of the time I have to drag all our stuff into the bathroom with us (reason number 1 that I still push a stroller, as mentioned in "Toddler twin must haves (2yo to 3yo)"). Once I get us all in there, I have 3 boys exploring a public bathroom with their hands. Our 5-year old really is very good in the bathroom, but he starts trying to help wrangle his brothers and it just becomes this whole hands on experience. In the public bathroom. The toddlers are pretty good. As in, grabbing hand rails, trying to help lift the toilet lids, wanting to help lock and unlock the bathroom stalls... Washing their hands is a struggle. After I wash one set of hands, hes off trying to man-handle the trash can to throw his paper towel away while Im stuck at the sink trying to wash the other set of hands, while their older brother is opening the bathroom door to "help" hold the door for me (which, in action, is really just letting his brothers escape before Im done). It is non-stop stress for me from the moment we enter the bathroom to when we finally leave it. One of the few pluses, which really is a plus whether they are potty trained or not, is that I can have them all stand next to the stroller outside of the bathroom stall where I can see their feet so I dont have to have them all in the bathroom stall with me; our 5-year old is very good at bossing his brothers around and enjoys when I tell him to make sure no one moves an inch.

Then you have the constant, "I have to go potty!" When we go out as a family, well be sitting at the restaurant table and our oldest will say he has to use the restroom. Since we are sitting close to the restroom and can see him go in and out, we say, "Go ahead." We watch him leave the table and head into the bathroom. Then one of the toddlers says he has to go. We ask the other toddler if he also needs to use the restroom. He says no. So my husband takes the first toddler to the bathroom. Our oldest comes out of the bathroom and says he saw Daddy in the bathroom with his brother to which the second toddler declares that he, in fact, does have to go potty. I wait until my husband comes out of the bathroom with the first toddler before getting the second toddler out of his high chair to go meet his daddy. My husband takes the second toddler to the bathroom and then we will all settle back at the table before one of the toddlers exclaims, "I have to go poop!" Right now it is very hard to tell if this is a game or real. Our oldest, when potty training, often would use the restroom and then need to go back for the larger functions. Our toddlers have followed that trend. However, when all 3 of them are rotating through the restroom our entire meal, our understanding of, "Hes still learning what his body is telling him," is lost. It just becomes tiring. We can tell our oldest, "Well, you are going to wait." We started potty training our toddlers in February and it is now April... thats not a ton of potty training experience under their belt and the consequences of making a toddler wait that really does need to use the bathroom does not yet outweigh the benefit of making said toddler wait. Sometimes we make all of them go to the bathroom when we get up with one, especially if out by ourselves with all 3 of the boys. This often helps eliminate the "Oh, I really do want to go" after the other boys come back from the bathroom. However, we still get the "I have to go poop!" after we settle back into our table or out at the park.

Speaking of the larger functions, it is difficult when both toddlers really do need to go poop. If you have ever been in a public bathroom, you are probably familiar with the fact that they are equipped with one toilet in each stall. My husband felt bad one day when both toddlers were occupying the only 2 stalls in the mens bathroom and a gentleman came in wanting to use a stall. I often will take both into the handicap stall and make the other wait, but that can be hard when you can tell looking at the toddlers face who is waiting that he really does need to use the restroom. Again, not really one of those times where the consequence of making him wait outweighs the benefit. Logistically, it is quite difficult when one toddler is finished in one stall and the other toddler is finished in the other stall, especially when you hear the waiting toddler start touching things in the other, out of sight, stall. I dont know how many times I have hollered over a stall, "DONT TOUCH ANYTHING."

Then there are the other joys of potty training boys. A common problem we are having now is not pulling their shirts up enough when standing to tinkle. This means changing shirts because the bottom of the shirt gets wet. Or they dont pull their pants down enough so the top band gets wet. My husband has jokingly said, "Its just a little pee." But as every momma knows, there is no such thing as a "little pee." We still havent tackled nights yet. We do pull-ups at night (the Target brand pull-ups have submarines on them!). We do have them nap in underwear. Their mattress are zipped into waterproof mattress covers. We have 2 sets of spare sheets always clean in the linen closet. We switched from diapers at night to pull-ups because they were not able to take their diapers off in the night or in the morning to use the restroom; they are able to pull the pull-ups up and down by themselves without requiring us to change them (yay for more sleep in the morning and not having to get up in the night!). One of our toddlers has started getting up in the night to use the restroom. Hes even had a couple days this week of waking up dry. If I wasnt 31-weeks pregnant, I would seriously consider potty training him for overnight. Even with this progress, we are still having issues during naptime, especially when they are over tired or sick. If we have a super busy morning and they are beat tired, they will pass out and sleep for 3 hours straight-- like rocks. Rocks that have the risk of wetting the bed. When we first started potty training them, we held our breath every naptime-- will they make it through nap without having an accident? It was a risk we were willing to take. We knew we didnt want to do pull-ups for naptime and we wanted them to learn, so we just kind of threw them into it. Now it isnt so stressful when they go down to nap, save for the above mentioned times. They really dont nap too often or too long anymore anyways and, if they do start to wet the bed, it usually wakes them up. They will wet a small amount and wake up angry like cats in a bathtub, "My bed is wet!" We really dont have many naptime accidents anymore. The accidents we have are usually attire related (they cant get their jeans down fast enough which leads to panicked accidents next to the toilet) or logistic accidents (sitting down to use the restroom and not getting everything squared away before tinkling).  I think our toddlers are more prone to these little accidents because they dont have an adult shadowing them every time they use the bathroom; our oldest was also a little taller and so I think some of this was much easier for him to handle logistically.

The last joy of potty training is the potty training rebellion. We experienced this with our oldest, having accidents after he mastered potty training. We felt like he did this to see what his boundaries were. "Okay, I wanted to potty train and now Ive done it; what are my rules now?" Potty training twins was potty training rebellion times two. Maybe times a million because taking care of 3 kids and being in my third trimester really made the potty training rebellion super frustrating. Our oldest didnt host a rebellion with me and then another one with my hubby; one of our toddlers didnt do it that way either. The other toddler, after rebelling with me, starting a potty training rebellion every night when Daddy got home. Oh, it was just a frustrating time. I felt that between potty training at naptime and the little accidents that happened during the day, I was doing laundry all the time! I also kept thinking, "Surely it wasnt like this with our oldest?" In a lot of ways it was and wasnt. While one of our toddlers decided he wanted to potty train at 2.5-years old and did-- contrary to our oldest who we told to potty train after he turned 3-years old-- the rest of his potty training path has been very similar to our oldest. It just all fell into place and he did a great job with it. Our other toddler has been a wild card. Sometimes we felt like he really did want to potty train and sailed through it; other times we felt like it was all a big charade. Sometimes we wondered if we needed to go back to diapers with him, but then we felt we had come too far in potty training him and that he would learn bad behavior had no consequence, that we would concede and put him back in diapers... It was confusing. So it was hard on the frustrating days with the one toddler who treated potty training like a joke on occasion not to feel super frustrated when the other toddler, the one who wanted to do this, had a legitimate accident. I would feel like, "I have done nothing but change sheets and change clothes all day long and here we go! Another accident!" When really I had changed his twin brothers sheets and clothes and this was his first accident that day and, on top of that, was a real accident, compared to his brother who had "on purposes," as my hubby and I have come to call them. It was very important to pay attention to who was having accidents and what type of accidents they were and not just heap all of the accidents together. It wasnt fair to either of the toddlers, the one in the right or the one in the wrong. Why should the one in the right be punished for his brothers crime? And why should the one in the wrong not have to bear his own punishment?

The last frustrating point of having potty trained twins is the laundry. I know that we arent alone in having kids who love clothes. Even our oldest is always wanting to change his clothes for his activity. This morning he wore an outfit to rocknroll in (pulling out all our Rock Band accessories) and then put on an outfit to exercise in; now hes outback wearing play clothes. Now we have 2 toddlers with an underwear bin. They want to wear Superman, then Spiderman, then Mickey Mouse, then  Monsters Inc... It is crazy! We do everything we can to stop them from changing. They literally have a lock on their closet where we keep all their clothes, including their underwear, but we still find them sneaking into the dryer and pulling out clean underwear and a clean change of clothes. We find them changing into clothes from the dirty clothes hamper... The amount of clothes they go through in a day is insane. I dont even know how Im going to feel when baby #4 gets here this summer and we are adding newborn laundry into the mix. Will I ever be able to escape our laundry room then??? Our kids change their clothes unnecessarily, but then we have the aforementioned accidents and it all just piles up. Plus my husband who today will 3 different outfits to wash: his uniform, his civilian clothes, and then his t-ball coaching outfit. This is why I stick to pajamas. I can wear them all day and then sleep in them. Easy and completely cuts down on laundry. (Totally kidding! Kind of...)

All in all, potty training our twin toddlers has not been the huge sigh of relief that it was when we potty trained our oldest. I think once we are through with pull-ups and done with these accidents-- small, large, accidental, on purpose-- Ill love potty training more. I think when they are old enough to go into the boys room together and Im not dealing with them touching everything in the public restroom, Ill love potty training more. I think once their bathroom doesnt smell faintly of urine no matter how often I clean it, Ill love potty training more.

Each of our kids has potty trained differently. Two of our boys have been very easy to potty train, the third a little more challenging. I think we were quite spoiled the first time we potty trained, accomplishing days and nights so close together, throwing diapers out all together. I liked how we did it then, but Im reminding myself that it is different now. Even though we potty trained him when we had 3 children, we were only potty training one child. Now we are potty training 2 children and our family is much busier with twin toddlers than when we had twin babies (read "Follow-up on potty training" for the blog post on potty training our oldest).

To quote Monty Python, "Always look at the bright side of life..."

Posts on our potty training journey:

Potty training our oldest son?
"Try to see it my way"

"Why not?"
"Follow-up on potty training"

 

Potty training our identical twin boys

"Potty training 2.5 year old twin boys?"

"Potty training twins: Part 1 {No plan}"
"Potty training twins: Part 2 {The next step}"

"Potty training twins: Part 3 {Treats}"

"Potty training twins: Part 4 {The process}"

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