weight loss during pregnancy pictures | One of those phases

weight loss during pregnancy pictures

I sat down this morning to write a blog post on our family schedule and why routines work well for us. However, as I was typing our toddlers kept interrupting me with issue after issue.

Whining.

Whining.

Whining.

I eventually felt myself getting more and more frustrated, losing my train of thought and writing long, rambling paragraphs that lead nowhere. I saved the blog post and closed the browser.

I tried switching gears. I reached out to a fellow momma and shared my frustrations, got some support; even texting someone can help get some encouragement. I switched activities. Obviously blogging wasnt going to happen; lets color! Lets start school earlier than usual. Lets do something organized together.

I called our kindergartner back inside to do some school. He got out his school supplies. One of our toddlers started whining, unprovoked. Literally standing in the middle of the room making high-pitched whiny, screeching noises over and over again. I gave him a warning. I invited him to sit with us and to color. He persisted. I walked him to his room and told him whining was unacceptable. He started screaming and hitting the door when I closed it. I took a deep breath and prayed, "God, let me love my kids through you. Let me show them your love."

I went back to the table with the other 2 boys, a toddler and our kindergartner. We said the Pledge of Allegiance. We prayed together. I went back to get the toddler in quiet time and asked if he wanted to join us. He declined and said he was sorry for whining and that he wanted to play in the playroom. He started getting dressed in costumes. I resumed school with the other 2 boys. The toddler at the table finished coloring and said he wanted to do costumes; he cleaned up his markers and went to the playroom. Moments later the first toddler came out of the playroom whining, whining, whining. I instructed him to use his words. He was frustrated; his backpack was broken. I informed him it was upside down and that is why everything was falling out. I offered to help him. He backed away whining. He let out the high pitch screeching whine over and over and so I walked him to his room to collect himself. He whined and whined at the door. I prayed. I went back to school with the other 2. I came back awhile later to ask if he wanted to come out of his room and he threw a toy at the door. I tucked him in for a nap and told him he needed to rest. I came back to do the calendar with the other 2 boys. It went well. We did our thing and then the other toddler started whining-- expressionless, unprovoked whining. Why? I didnt know so I asked him to do his calendar job. He stood motionless whining. I gave him a warning. He whined. I escorted him to his room to rest as well.

I stood outside their door and felt the tears well up in my eyes. What am I doing wrong? Why are they constantly whining and fighting?

Yesterday we had a list of errands to run. On the actual errands, they were obedient and well behaved. They stood in line with me at the Post Office. They waited in the returns line at Costco. But as soon as we got in the car it was constant bickering-- constant bickering. Wild slapping in the direction of their brother, screeching at the top of their lungs, "NO!", yelling, whining, throwing, flailing, moaning...

Im exhausted. This behavior has been going on for over a week. Throw in there some potty training regression and the constant whining and bickering has just about drained me. I put them down to nap and they spend the entire time opening their respective doors bumming, "Can I come out now?" I wake up in the morning to the sounds of the toddlers fussing and fighting and whining and arguing in the hall bathroom. I put them to bed after listening to them fuss and fight and whine and argue all.day.long.

I go through moments where I feel confident and think, "This is a phase. I understand it is a phase. I understand that parenting is hard and that some phases are more enjoyable than other phases. I know their brains are developing. I know they have dealt with big changes from their dad starting prototype and being gone all day. I know we will come out of this okay and to focus on the positives."

And then there are other moments where I cringe at the thought of riding in the car with them and so I dont want to leave the house.

Where I think about how quickly they grow up and how one day they wont be 3-years old anymore, they will be 6-years old and I will wonder where the time went.

Where I hear other moms talk about how the toddler years are their favorite.

Where Im crying in the laundry room and texting my mom because I just dont know what else to do and I feel so alone.

Where I miss our old duty station because I had friends who were going through the same thing with me, who have kids the same age as mine, who invited us over for playdates and park dates and coffee dates.

Where I just hate spending all day long listening to them fight with each other.

Those moments I feel like a horrible parent.

I dont know why our toddlers are behaving this way. I spend a lot of time praying and asking God to extend some grace their way, to blanket me in his love so that I can show them his love, to strengthen me so that I have the energy and patience to be consistent. I read parenting books (my favorites: Keep Calm and Parent On and When Mothers Pray). I meditate on Philippians, my favorite book of the Bible. I hold on to those sweet moments with them in between the fussing and the fits. Yet I struggle because the absolute truth is that I am not enjoying myself.

Since I do not have a large friend base here, Ive been working on keeping myself busy. Ive been focusing a lot on things that I do enjoy doing-- kindergarten with our oldest, taking walks with our infant, reading by myself and with the kids, and cooking. Some of the cooking has been fun to do with the children, even the toddlers. Sometimes it goes downhill quickly and for no reason, like yesterday when one of the toddlers was helping me until he just broke down into a whining mess. Other times they get immense satisfaction from making the meal with me and will channel all their energy into the tasks I give them. I try to have them help me one at a time, stealing moments that I can give them my undivided attention and listen to what they have to say. I try to find tasks that play to their strengths so they can build their self-confidence. Ive also been trying to keep our calendar full, inviting friends on playdates, meeting up with girlfriends, doing things with my family. Having 4 children, homeschooling, and life as a Navy wife tend to keep our calendar full and so the hours of the day tend to slip by quickly anyways; I make my best effort to organize those hours in a way that works well for our boys.

This is one of those phases that I am just holding on and hoping that it passes quickly. It has been one of those phases that no matter what I try doesnt seem to make a big difference in how our day goes or how the toddlers behave. It has been one of those phases that make me wish I lived closer to my family and to my girlfriends.

How do you deal with these kind of phases?

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baby losing weight during pregnancy | Boosting our immune systems through diet

baby losing weight during pregnancy

I may be a mom, but I still like to party. And by party, I mean spending my Friday night Googling natural ways to boost your immune system through your diet.

Ive posted before about our sons reactive airways. Because he is so young, his reactive airways are constantly changing. There is the hope that he will grow out of having such a hard time. However, due to family history, his pediatricians proceed as if he has an asthma diagnosis.

Each year, we try to wean him off of his daily regulator, Pulmicort. Last year, he was doing great through the first half of the cold and flu season so we started weaning him off of Pulmicort, from twice a day to once a day. Then--bam!-- he caught a cold and he ended up on Orapred twice in a row. He stayed on Pulmicort until May/June, when we had weaned him down again to one dose before stopping all together. He spent most of June, all of July, and all of August off Pulmicort. Then this past week he caught his first cold of the season and we ended up at the pediatrician where she decided against oral steroids, but put him back on Pulmicort twice a day and he spent 3 days on Albuterol every 3-4 hours. He is doing better, but is still needing Albuterol in the morning.

As an asthmatic myself, I know what my triggers are. For our son O, his main trigger is getting sick. And then once he gets sick, his lungs have a hard time recovering, making him susceptible to other colds and dragging colds on for long periods of time. I also notice, like myself, that he tends to start having more issues during the time when the seasons start changing. I havent noticed him to have any allergies, though he tends to get rashes and dry skin.

One of the big ways to help manage your asthma is avoid your triggers. When I think about Os major trigger-- getting sick-- Im not quite sure how to avoid it. He is one 3-year old in a family of six. His dad is in the Navy, meaning the sailors dont get sick days and he is often working with people who are under the weather, putting him in contact with lots of germs. On top of that, our boys are all very active and enjoy playing outside, going to the park, and meeting up with friends. How do I keep a 3-year old from getting sick?

When he was a baby and a beginning walker, it was much easier to control what he came into contact with and where. I loved Touchy Tags and hung them everywhere. I had hand sanitizer sitting all over our house and insisted everyone used it all the time. We washed hands like it was our job. Now that hes older, my husband and I wash our hands all the time and we are always washing our boys hands and instructing them to go wash their hands, but it is harder, different, then when they were babies. I also cannot hang a Touchy Tag around Os neck and stick him in a bubble, as much as I would like to at times.

This is when I started thinking of other ways to help him out. Ive posted several times regarding our family diet as well. I cook most of our foods. We really try to avoid processed foods and artificial ingredients. We make the best choices that we can (and can afford; read "Organics vs family budget"). We follow the 80/20 approach when it comes to eating healthy. So I started Googling: how can I boost his immune system through our diet? I came across several blogs that helped me put together our list on how to do this.

The first blog post that really helped direct my focus was MindBodyGreens post, "6 Ways to Boost Your Childs Immune System." From there I did a little reading on elderberry and decided against that. While on WebMD, I read about "Immunity Boosting Snacks for Kids." And then somehow I ended up on Dr. Sears website. I read his articles on "8 Foods that Boost Immunity," "Boost Your Childs Immune System," and "4 Habits that Weaken the Immune System." I also looked up "26 Foods High in Zinc for Overall Good Heath" and "Top 7 Vitamin C containing fruits."

I read a whole bunch of other articles on boosting the immune system through your diet, but those are the articles that I printed off and used to compile my list of foods to boost our childrens immune systems.

There are a few obvious things that I have not presented our children-- like oysters, watermelon seeds, and beef liver. However, when looking over the list, the biggest change in our diet is going to be adding a fish dinner once a week (read, "Should your kids eat fish? How they can avoid mercury and still get their omega-3" posted by BabyCenter). Since I do most of our shopping at Costco, I like to stock up in bulk, thus buying fresh fish tends to slip off our menu. Im also going to focus a lot on serving foods high in Vitamin C for their afternoon snack and really try to make the shift from store-bought wheat sandwich bread to homemade whole-wheat bread. The complete plan is to boost all of our immune systems through our diet, hopefully cut down on the amount of colds O catches this year, helping keep his asthma under control. Id like to cut back on his Albuterol usage and keep him on his current dose of Pulmicort or lower it.

Here is the list that Ive put together:

Boosting our childrens immune systems

 

Immunity boosting snacks

1.       Yogurt

2.      Kefir

3.      Walnuts

4.      Fruits and veggies

5.      Lean meats

Zinc

1.       Spinach

2.      Beef

3.      Shrimp

4.      Kidney beans

5.      Flax seeds

6.      Pumpkin seeds

7.      Oysters

8.      Watermelon seeds

9.      Garlic

10.   Lima beans

11.    Peanuts

12.   Egg yolks

13.   Turkey

14.   Salmon

15.   Lobster

16.   Pork

17.   Dark chocolate

18.   Chickpeas

19.   Beef liver

20.  Brown rice

21.   Peas

22.  Sesame seeds

23.  Lamb

24.  Cashews

25.  Crab

26.  Mushrooms

Omega-3 fatty acids

1.
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weight loss during pregnancy safe | To stand

weight loss during pregnancy safe

I recently posted about how difficult things have been at our house with one of the harder 3-year old phases. Then last night my husband rented "Moms Night Out" on Redbox. (By the way, if you are a parent, you must watch that movie!) This all got me thinking about motherhood...

1. Talk about your problems.

I think so much of the time we dont talk about our problems. There was a scene in the movie where the lead character slowed down and talked to another struggling mom about how hard motherhood is. The struggling mom looked at the main character, "You dont have it all together?" We had spent the majority of the movie watching how this main character was struggling with motherhood and balancing life and happiness and marriage, yet this other struggling mom perceived that the main character had it all together. Not saying that we need to walk around with a sign and tell every Tom, Dick, and Stanley we meet that "I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IM DOING" but it is so important to be open and honest with your friends.

Why?

2. Because no one has it all together.

I think sometimes we think that there are people out there that "have it all together." I loved in the movie when the mom pulled up to church and saw these other moms standing outside dressed beautifully, hair done, and she mutters, "They must have nannies." The other day we took the boys to Monkey Joes. We had another long day in the house staring us down and we thought it would be nice to take them somewhere where they could be kids-- run and jump without getting in trouble. Apparently there was a birthday party going on there because a parade of well-dressed children poured out of a party room. I mean, coordinating Janie and Jack type children. I have never seen so much embroidered seersucker in one place. There were mothers hovering outside the bounce houses in jeweled flip flops, silk shirts, and chunky necklaces waiting to fix ginormous bows perched on their little girls heads. Dads wearing boat shoes, pressed shorts, and collared shirts followed after siblings proclaiming their siblinghood, "Big brother" written in checkered applique next to matching "Little brother." I took a look at our boys and hoped they looked decent....before wondering why I cared how they looked next to these kids. I wondered how these parents had it all together. Did they have it all together? They certainly looked like they had it far more together than our boys. When we leave the house in coordinating, clean outfits it is after a good solid 30-minutes of negotiating and threats.

3. Because we need support.

I cannot tell you how horrible last week was for me. It really did end in tears. I had organized dinner with my girlfriends earlier in the week because I was needing a night out, but by the time the night came I didnt want to go. I was emotionally exhausted. I felt like a drained, failure of a parent that didnt deserve a night out. The thought of making small talk made me cringe. I wanted to go to dinner and have a glass of wine... followed by the rest of the bottle. My husband came home from work and said, "Go. You need it. At the very least, go and listen to the conversation and enjoy a nice meal out." So I went and, guess what? It was amazing. It was so nice to chat with my girlfriends and hear about their problems as well. Listening to them drove home the point IM NOT THE ONLY ONE. I felt myself relaxing at dinner and really enjoying myself. It really was what I needed to unwind. The next morning I woke up feeling like I could handle the day, the first time in a week or so that I didnt wake up thinking, "What fresh hell is going to happen today?" Talking to others isnt just a way to get support for ourselves, but to offer support to our friends. On the drive home from dinner, my girlfriend told me that shes been struggling with a phase with her little one and she tells herself, "I just have one right now and Kimber has four!" And when Im balancing all my things at my house, I tell myself, "She has a toddler, is pregnant, and is finishing her degree!" It is so nice to lean on each other and get that support. It is so nice to hear that you arent alone, that you arent the only one struggling, and to hear how other people have dealt with similar issues and how they got through it.

4. Get the help you need.

The week before last was rough. Last week was a horrible, no good, very bad week. I cried a lot on Friday. I felt fried and tired and alone. I missed my mom. I missed my far away friends. I missed our old duty station and all our playdates there. I missed my husband who is working a lot. I felt like I had nothing else to give. So I started filling my calendar. I need interaction time with friends. I need quality time with my kids. My husband and I have been reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Through that weve discovered my love language is quality time. I really feel that is part of the problem why these days are so draining when they are going through these phases-- I dont feel like Im getting any quality time with them since each day is so stressful and full of tantrums. On top of that, when my husband gets home we arent getting much quality time since hes exhausted from work and Im exhausted from dealing with the 3-year olds tantrums all day. Filling up my calendar has helped a lot. I am getting face time with other moms who tell me, "Girl, me too! I hear you!" Im getting the kids out and about so they can stretch their legs somewhere new (or throw a fit somewhere new). When my husband gets home, we all have something to talk about other than tantrums. The kids tell them about the new park we went to and I get to tell him about the overall adventure. It has been important to me to reach out to others and get that support. Another "guess what" moment: when I reached out to my friends and said, "Hey, the kids are going through a really rough phase right now and I really need to meet up with you. Lets put something on the calendar," they have all been responsive! "My kids too. I would love to meet up with you!" We are all in this together.

5. Remember-- it is only a phase.

For me, it really helps to remind myself over and over (and over and over and over) again that it is only a phase... it will pass... this wont go on forever... Because it is true. It wont be like this forever. That doesnt make it easier in the midst of it, but it does help me find the strength to dig my heels in and pray, to not cave when I need to stand strong. It might sound a little dramatic, but the other day in my Love God Greatly devotional, we got on the subject of the full armor of God. I love the verse in Ephesians 6:13, "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." How often does this happen in motherhood? You nicely identify the behavior your 3-year old needs to adjust, "We dont put stickers on the table. Stickers go on paper." You redirect the behavior, "How about you put your stickers on this piece of paper instead of the table?" You give the warning, "If you dont put the stickers on the paper, you cant play with them." You give them the last chance, "This is the last time Im going to tell you that stickers must be put on paper. Next time Im taking the stickers away." And then you follow through. There is flailing, gnashing of teeth, wailing... and so you follow through with time to rest in their room and pull themselves together. Yet while you are doing that the other 3-year old is busy "writing" with a permanent marker on your handmade kitchen table and your kindergartner is asking over and over again if you can play Uno with him now and the baby is starting to fuss because it is time to eat... and then the dog is bumming at the door to go potty and the pot on the stove starts to boil over. Those are the times that I think of the armor of God and standing firm. When I have done all that I can, all that I know how to do, when I have gone through my Rolodex of good parenting, I stand firm. Ephesians 6:18 tells us, "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests..." Turn to God, mommas. Turn to each other. Put on the armor of God so that when you have done everything, you can stand.

I loved that the movie "Moms Night Out" concluded with a heart to heart from Trace Adkins where he told her how hard she was on herself. It is true. We are hard on ourselves. What standard are we trying to live up to? Our perception of the seersucker kids at Monkey Joes? The mom who shows up to church in heels and a clean dress? Or that we think our friends will judge us if we open up to them? As the main character sits with her husband at the end of the movie, she watches her kids and says, "It is hard, but it is worth it." It is so worth it. It is hard. Life doesnt slow down so we can figure out the hard moments with a clear mind.

If you continue reading in Ephesians, Paul says in 6:19-20, "Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should." Have you ever left a church and seen the sign at the end of the parking lot, "You are now entering the mission field?" What a great reminder. This is our job. We often question ourselves, doubt ourselves, cave when we should stand, cry because we dont know what to do... Paul asks for prayers so that he will have the words and that he will fearlessly deliver them. We are witnessing to our children. We are ambassadors of Christ, in chains to the gospel, delivering the Good News day in and day out. Its time to lean on each other, lift each other up, put on the armor of God, and fearlessly parent through Christ.

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