7 week pregnancy weight loss | Submarine officers JO tour dream sheet

7 week pregnancy weight loss

While my hubby was in prototype he came home and said it was time to fill out his dream sheet. Since this is for his JO {Junior Officer} tour-- his first tour as a submarine officer-- he was only able to rank locations and types of boats. For his JO tour, he could only pick out of the submarine bases, which there really arent that many.

Submarine bases:

1. Groton, Connecticut {Naval Submarine Base New London}
2. Norfolk, Virginia {Naval Station Norfolk}
3. Kings Bay, Georgia {Naval Submarine Base Kings Bay}
4. Bangor, Washington {Naval Base Kitsap-Bangor}
5. San Diego, California {Naval Base Point Loma}
6. Honolulu, Hawaii {Joint Base Pearl Harbor-Hickam}
7. Guam {Naval Base Guam}

Before I get started on this guide, I want it to be known that this guide is for the spouses, not the military members. This is a very general and very brief summary of the types of boats with information on schedule and boat life. I would also like to state that the only experience my hubby and I have had on a submarine is on a fast attack {read "STA-21 Officers Program"}.

There are two different types of submarines:

1. Boomers
2. Fast attacks

BOOMERS {SSBN}?

Well start with boomers. Boomers are ballistic missile submarines {SSBN}; they are Ohio class. Their job is to keep our seas safe by guarding the perimeter. They are huge submarines and have two crews, a blue crew and a gold crew. The two crews take turns manning the boat. The crews are given a schedule ahead of time: 3 or 6 months on crew followed by 3 or 6 months off crew. As a spouse, this gives you a little planning room for when your military member will be home or away. Boomers are based out of Georgia and Washington. They are also forward deploying, meaning the crews family lives in Georgia or Washington but the boat doesnt pull into port except for maintenance; on crew flies to where the boat is {usually Guam for Washington and Italy for Georgia}.

More reading on boomers: "The US Navy: Fact File: Fleet Ballistic Missile Submarines: SSBN"

FAST ATTACKS {SSN}?

Next up: fast attacks {SSN}. Fast attacks are Los Angeles class, Seawolf class, and Virginia class submarines, much smaller than the Ohio class submarines. They have one crew and no set schedule. Fast attacks run missions. They can be underway a week, in a week, underway two months, in for a couple weeks... While underway the crew is on 18 hour days making the in and out exhausting for the crew and making a lot of the in port times revolve around catching up on sleep. As a spouse, there is little or no planning to be done around the boat schedule; basically, dont make plans that you expect your spouse to be there for because the schedule is written in sand. FRG meetings are exceedingly important on fast attacks because this is where you will receive a general idea of the boat schedule. My hubby never went on a deployment {picked up STA-21 right before the boat left on deployment}, but he was gone 75% of the time we lived in Hawaii just from underways. What I enjoyed most about fast attacks were the homecomings at the pier and watching the boat come in and out of port. It is amazing to behold. Fast attacks are stationed out of all the submarine bases.

More reading on fast attacks: "The US Navy: Fact File: Attack Submarines: SSN"

GNs {SSGN}?

Finally, GNs. Guided missile submarines {SSGN} are Ohio class submarines. How Ive had them described to me is "fast attacks on a boomer schedule." These submarines run missions, but also have a two crews and a schedule like boomers. They are also forward deploying, just like boomers. GNs have homeports in Washington and Georgia.

More reading on GNs: "The US Navy: Fact File: Guided Missile Submarines: SSGN"

Note on schedule: what is really important to remember when reading this list is that the schedule with submarines often does not go as planned. Shipyard is longer than expected... off crew gets called in... stand down gets cancelled... things change.

For more reading on submarines, check out this link: "Frequently asked questions about submarines"

When we filled out our dream sheet for my hubbys JO tour while at prototype, we ranked our choices from 1 to 10 considering location and type of boat. For example:

1. Washington-- SSN
2. Washington-- SSGN
3. Georgia-- SSGN
4. Georgia-- SSBN, etc.

{That isnt the order of our dream sheet, but an example to show you how you get to pick location and specify the boat type in the order of your choosing.}

Dream sheets are exactly that: dream sheets. The detailer will look at the dream sheet when assigning you a boat, but this might be a crash course on "the needs of the Navy," a phrase often quoted in regards to getting your bottom choice. We heard it a lot as we waited for our assignment. "I hope we get our top choice, but, you know, the needs of the Navy..." Thankfully for my hubbys class, most people were assigned one of their top choices {my hubby received his #2 choice!}.

I am nervous and excited to go back to boat life. My hubby loves his job and so Im excited for him to get back to what he loves doing. Im also very excited about living near close friends again {love our Navy family!}, but Im also dreading the return of a boat schedule and duty days. The last time we were on a boat we had one child and now we have four. I think it will be a very different experience from dealing with one infant/toddler to older children who are far more aware of Daddy coming and going.

Ive been a submarine wife for 8 years; this move will be our 5th PCS together. Im still learning new things about submarines and Navy life!

What was your experience filling out your dream sheet?

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7 week pregnancy weight loss program | PCS 5 Big changes!

7 week pregnancy weight loss program

Wow! It has been awhile since my last blog post. A lot has happened since then. We are in the midst of a PCS, one of those military moves where we wont be at our next destination for months and we are living with relatives and traveling to visit friends. These are all good things, but it has been exceedingly stressful planning this out with 4 children. On top of the craziness of getting our house ready to be packed out, we are making this move with a season change: wardrobes for 2 seasons for our family of 6 with a cross country drive at the end of these couple months. We have been consciously trying to pack our belongings in a way that we hope will fit in our vehicles when we drive from the east coast to the west coast (and trying not to stress out over a 5 day drive with 4 children, in the meantime). I packed our winter clothes lightly, with the hope that the winter will wrap up soon. Im relying on layering and the one winter jacket I brought for each family member. It is the first day of spring and snowing so it seems my good intentions are for naught. My children are going to be shivering for the next couple weeks! Could it please warm up soon?!?!

This PCS was one of the craziest PCSs we have made. I think I said that last time as well. When I first got married, I remember that being a whirlwind. California to the New Hampshire/Maine border in February was a shock to the system. After that, we were always moving with children. We had at least one child for our next 4 moves. I remember it being busy. When we moved across town with 3 children, I was ready to pull my hair out, but we still managed and my parents came to help us unpack. When we moved to South Carolina, we still had 3 children, but this time our twins were toddlers. I had them play on our patio as we unpacked the house and we managed to unpack quickly. PCSing a household with children is not convenient, by any stretch of the imagination, but still do-able. I search for the do-able.

Im not sure why it was so hard on my emotions and my stress level this time. I struggled a lot. While my husband and I worked on one area of the house, the children were destroying the other side of the house. I expected that, but I still found the level of mess that they were able to make in a short time hard to handle. One day while we were painting chairs, they "went camping." The three of them stripped their beds and stuffed their pillow cases and duffle bags with their entire wardrobes, their favorite puzzles (poured into the pillow cases, out of their boxes), and Playmobile people. I was mortified to discover this mess and it took us nearly an hour to clean it up. Afterwards I felt horrible because their little faces were so sad that I was upset. They were having such a nice time camping and I put a kibosh on the whole thing because of the mess.

Mentioning painting the chairs brought in another new element: DIY projects. My husband and I have never PCSd with 4 children. We have also never tackled the number of DIY projects we did this time, all the week before our pack out. Since we are building a house at our next duty station, we have decided that we also want to decorate it nicely. I did some thinking and browsing of my favorite designer sites and blogs and decided that I had a multitude of pieces I wanted painted or fixed up for our next house. My hubby and I discussed if we wanted to paint them in our current duty station or wait until we arrive at our next duty station. We decided-- since he will be reporting to a boat at our next duty station plus unpacking with 4 children-- that we should tackle as many DIY projects as we can before the pack out since we will still have much to do once we arrive. (I want my hubby to build us a couple pieces of furniture as well.) Looking back at how we spent our time before the pack out, I can confidently say that we undertook way too many projects. It was so stressful managing these projects as well as the children. I told my husband this and he agreed-- it was too much. However, he also pointed out that it would either be too many DIY projects before our pack out or too many DIY projects after we arrive at our destination. I agree on that. He also said that at least this way, it is all finished. I also agree with that. So, I dont know. Maybe there just isnt the "best time" to get a lot of DIY projects done with children and with a PCS; I can say I am excited to decorate our house.

...and our house. That was another first. This is our first time buying a house plus we are building it. It is all new to us. That has been stressful as well, but not nearly as stressful as my husband and I thought it would be. I think what helped us is that we were on the same page about the whole house buying process. We found what we were looking for. We liked our realtor. I was far more nervous approaching this than my husband was (he wanted to buy at several of our last duty stations) and we did have a number of disagreements. I think I just expected much more disagreements than we ended up having. I am very nervous about selling when we PCS next time, but Im putting that in a bubble and letting it go. We will cross that bridge when we get there.

Along with my husband and Is emotions approaching this PCS, our childrens emotions really came in to play this time, much more than last time. Our oldest had just turned 5 when we moved to South Carolina. He was nervous about leaving his friends and cried all the way from North Carolina to South Carolina; it was heartbreaking. This time, at 6 years old, he had a lot of anxiety approaching the move. He remembered PCSing and didnt want to leave his friends. He frequently complained about his tummy hurting and his emotions were very up and down the weeks before we moved. That was very heartbreaking. Our twins are almost 4 years old and mostly fed off of the emotions in our house-- my stress level, their older brothers stress level. They had very short tempers and there were a lot of tantrums to contend with. In general, there was a lot of conflict between all the boys, much of it to get our attention and much of it because they all werent sure how to process what was going on around them. The baby fed off my stress level at times, but he was mostly grouchy because, of course, he got sick. (And did I mention that one of our boys caught a stomach bug days before the pack out? Yeah, horrible timing.)

Now that we are settled in my parents house, we actually made a huge change and enrolled our oldest in kindergarten here. He started on St. Patricks Day and will finish out the year here. This is a big change for us as we homeschooled 5-year old preschool last year and kindergarten this year. We had started feeling God put the possibility of traditional school on our hearts several weeks ago when our oldest was having such a hard time with the uncertainty of our upcoming move. His anxiety and upset stomach really broke our hearts. Since he is a child that loves and craves routine, we started thinking that school would be a great option for him next year, for first grade, after we arrive at our next duty station. We felt that the routine of school would be good for him with the ups and downs of submarine life; no matter what the boat schedule is, no matter how uncertain our days are, he would have the consistency of his school routine. We felt like that would be a good option for him and felt that we would just use the rest of this year and this summer to continue to pray about it, marinate on the idea. I, for one, loved the flexibility of homeschooling. When my husband and I discussed school, it basically came down to homeschooling works best for me and traditional school might work best for our son. Anyways, so the children and I moved to my parents house and settled in. We had been here for 4 days when I saw the stress starting to peek through in his behavior. I called my hubby and we decided to enroll him here at my parents house, where I will be living until this July. We also felt that being in a place he is comfortable and familiar with might be a great place to get his feet wet with traditional school. My hubby also thought that it would be a great place to try it out because there are so many adults living under one roof-- plenty of people to help with baked goods, carpool pick ups, and volunteer days-- and plenty of people to make sure I places on time. Also, now that hes started, when we do get to our next duty station and enroll him in first grade, he will know what to expect from school; it wont be so foreign to him.

We are all settling into this new temporary routine. The boys are all also enrolled in a gym program so we have plenty of space to get the wiggles out. The toddlers have especially enjoyed taking advantage of the open play hours in the afternoon while our oldest is at school. Ive enjoyed taking them to it as, while my parents house is quite comfortable, the open play can accommodate them much better than this shared space (and there is no possibility of them breaking anything!). It is strange going out with 3 children instead of 4. Im constantly feeling like I left someone. I have to admit, it is nice doing activities geared towards our toddlers without feeling like it is too big for our toddlers or too young for our oldest. Our oldest is also especially tall and strangers are often reprimanding him for being in places that are "too young for him," when actuality, it is geared for his age, if not his height. So far all of the boys seemed very pleased with our new routine. Our oldest is loving school and its accoutrements. We bought him a new lunch pail, appropriate jeans (how do every pair of his jeans have holes in them?!), and he loves toting his things to and from school in his backpack. He loves his teacher and classmates. He loves showing us his work at the end of the day. It is a big change from homeschooling, though Im feeling peace about the decision. I was exceedingly sad and shed many tears when we moved in this direction because I thought we would be homeschooling him for at least 1-3 more years, but this was the time for us to move in a different direction and we have all embraced it well. Im sure I could write much more on this topic, but the boys are starting to get restless.

A lot of big changes at our house. A lot of new routines. A lot of changes on the horizon. For now we are focusing on enjoying our time with family before we move to the west coast; Im eagerly planning visits with friends before that move as well. We are taking one day at a time and following where God is guiding us!

****P.S. During this PCS, we have switched to disposables. I know Ive written several blog posts on cloth diapering, but I could not figure out how we would manage cloth while living with family for several months and making all the trips we have planned to visit friends. If you are a cloth diapering military family, did you cloth diaper while PCSing? Even with a TDY? How do you handle cloth while traveling?

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post pregnancy weight loss quickly | Flight Essentials

post pregnancy weight loss quickly

Hello everyone, I hope you are all well. As you read this I will be somewhere in America on holiday with my husband and daughter.  I thought Id do a quick post as to my plane essentials. I love the anticipation of holidays, so I have been doing alot of YouTube watching and blog reading to find out what products are recommended for travel.  Without further ado, heres my top flight essentials. 

Soap and Glory Sexy Mother Blusher

I had never tried a cream blush before, but I am now converted.  This blush stick has a lovely creamy texture and blends in easily.  I plan to pop this on before we arrive at our destination so my cheeks will have that pinky glow even if my skin is far from glowing naturally. This is such a convenient stick and less messy than carrying my blush powder and brush. 

Deodorant

I will never use anything other than Dove deodorant.  This is a staple. 

Lip balm and hand cream

Obviously. 

Pain relief sachets

As a mum, I always have to be within an arms reach of some kind of pain relief, just in case of sudden fever or pain.  These sachets are fantastic as they contain a single recommended does of paracetamol and ibuprofen. They are the perfect size for popping in your bag and for travel. 

Toothbrush and toothpaste

I am that strange lady that always steals hotel toiletries.  This is a stolen toothbrush from somewhere.  Its perfect for the plane.  Nobody likes fuzzy teeth. 

Origins Drink Up Intensive Overnight Mask

I had read lots of rave reviews of this product so thought I would give it a go. Normally when I travel, no matter how much moisturiser I put on, my skin resembles that of an iguana when I disembark the plane. My plan is to go bare faced for the flight, with just my eyebrows done and some mascara.  I then plan to apply this mask throughout the flight.  The mask is a clear gel, and after only a few minutes of applying it, I find it has sunk into my skin.  Its deeply moisturising and my skin looks healthy and plump after using it. It contains gorgeous ingredients such as apricot kernel, avocado oil and mango butters and it smells delicious. The best bit is you dont have to wash it off as it is absorbed into the skin. 

So thats my plane essentials and Im ready to go! Are there any flight essentials that I have missed? Comments below please! 

P.S Yes there are a few Ive missed.  Hand sanitiser and baby wipes. Yep. Think thats everything. Bye!

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quick post pregnancy weight loss | Blood on Snow by Jo Nesbo A Review

quick post pregnancy weight loss

I had never tried an audio book before, so I was a little apprehensive when Mumsnet Bloggers asked me to listen to Blood on Snow, an audio book, written by Jo Nesbo.  The thought of listening to someone read a book, I dont know, it just didnt really appeal to me.  I am a such a big fan of having something physical to hold and read in front of me. 

The book is read by Patti Smith, and I am not going to lie and say I am completely familiar with her and the whole Punk movement, but I had heard of her.  Her accent reading this book is just amazing to listen to. She has a really husky, thick American accent, and from her first words I was hooked.  I mean its not in many books you read that someones lying on the floor dead and you already know its the books main character, Olav whos the murderer. 

Olav is a hit-man, and this book tells the story of his life, potential targets and loves. I didnt think I would connect with Olav, mainly as hes male...oh, and a killer.  But unbelievably, I quickly got transported into his world and was rooting for the main character.  I literally had no idea where the plot was going, and this became ever apparent as I thought the book was about to end, but I realised I was only half of the way through. 

I want to give nothing away, because the ending is the most incredible ending I think I have read, well, listened to.  Again, you think you know where its all going, but you really do not.  The ending is wrote in such a beautiful and captivating way, that as Patti Smith read the closing scene, I just sat for moments afterwards thinking about what I had actually just heard.  

There is alot of blood, violence and swearing, but I never felt out of my depth with this book.  I felt Jo Nesbo had the right amount of action, but had cleverly interwoven it with breathtaking scenery or attention to character detail that it never felt too much. 

As for an audio book, I would certainly listen to another one again.  I think Patti Smith read the book beautifully and it certainly added another dimension to the book. It was actually a real luxury to relax and put in my headphones and be completely transported into Olavs world.  I cannot recommend this novel enough. You can listen to Patti Smith read the opening excerpt from Jo Nesbos Blood on Snow here, its only a minute long, but I challenge you not to want to hear more! 

Have you read Blood on Snow? Would you ever try an audio book?
Comments always welcome below and thanks for reading, 

I was kindly sent the audio for Blood On Snow by Mumsnet Bloggers, this review is entirely my own thoughts and opinions. 

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7 week pregnancy weight loss program reviews | Cloth diaper troubleshooting

7 week pregnancy weight loss program reviews

Several weeks ago we started having problems with baby #4 and Freetime diapers. {What is a Freetime? Read my post "Cloth diapering an infant: BumGenius Freetime and Elemental diapers."} Everytime I put him in a Freetime diaper, he would break out in a rash. I started suspecting that his skin might be getting irritated by the liners in a Freetime diaper, which are different than the organic cotton in an Elemental. Well, one day he ended up wearing a Freetime diaper and taking a long nap. When he woke up and I went to change him, he had a bad diaper rash. Over the next couple days, the diaper rash turned into yeast and suddenly we had a full blow problem on our hands. How do I clear up yeast when in cloth diapers?

After some Google searching, I learned nystatin is not cloth diaper safe. The nystatin will get on the liners and form a waterproof barrier, apparently. {This is the same reason why a lot of diaper rash creams are not cloth diaper safe.} I read about two methods to clear up yeast while in cloth diapers:
1. use disposable liners to make a barrier between the nystatin and the liners in your diapers, adding bleach each time you wash them.
2. switch to disposable diapers until the yeast infection is cleared up.

While I was Google searching I started wondering how our little guy got yeast in cloth diapers. This was a reoccurring problem for us in disposable diapers with all 3 of our other boys. Baby #4 had his first bought of yeast right before 5 months, but his brothers all dealt with it several times before that in disposables. All the Google searching lead me down many roads: wash routine, detergent choice, etc. I ended up in this cloth diaper Facebook group that slammed homemade laundry detergents as well as "cloth diaper safe detergents." The conclusion of this group was that nothing would get your diapers clean unless you were using Tide {or a similar mainstream detergent} and bleach. I was so disheartened reading all these posts on the group. I kid you not, I started crying. I had a baby with a horrible yeast diaper rash {it flared up really bad by then}, all this money invested in our cloth diapers, and this website is telling me that nothing will actually clean our diapers {and yeast} unless we are using Tide and bleach, two products we dont use?

This bothered me a lot because part of the reason why we switched to cloth diapers is our environmental impact. I know that might sound lame, but we have 6 people in our house. We fly through products. I felt horrible about the landfill we no doubt created with our twins, despite my efforts to use biodegradable diapers {does anything biodegrade in a landfill?!}. We make a conscious effort to use biodegradable products and products with minimal packaging, buying in bulk where we can, and raw ingredients instead of processed. We make as much as we can at home, including most of our household cleaners {read "Homemade household cleaners"}. So hearing that we needed to use Tide-- a detergent I dont use for our laundry-- and bleach-- a product we dont keep in our house-- made me feel like, "What is the point of cloth diapering then?" If cloth diapering is going to make me introduce cleaning products that we dont use and detergents that dont biodegrade, what is the point of cloth diapering over disposable diapers?

The next morning I packed up our poor sweet baby with his, by that point, really bad diaper rash and headed to my favorite local baby store. When the owner greeted me, I am pretty sure that I came close to tears as I unloaded my problems on her. Thankfully she had all the answers. She started with a hug, which I needed, and then moved to the immediate problem: the yeast diaper rash. She recommended switching to disposables and focus on clearing up the yeast rash. She said it is the quickest way to clear it up, especially with how out of hand his rash was.

Then she moved to the diapers. There is a lot of chatter online about whether or not yeast grows on cloth diapers once there is a yeast infection. She told me to ignore the bleach comments and wash everything hes worn on the highest heat setting a couple times and put them in the sun. Since he was going to spend the next 2 weeks in disposables, he would not go back to cloth until after his yeast was cleared up, at which point there wouldnt be a problem with yeast anymore.

After that we had a long discussion on detergents and wash routine. She asked me why I was looking up the wash routine and I told her that we werent really having a problem with our wash routine, but I was noticing that our Elemental diapers had a strong smell when I changed them. I didnt notice the smell when he was wearing them, but once I got him on the changing table and started the changing process, I really noticed the ammonia smell. I didnt feel like there was an ammonia smell the first couple weeks of cloth diapering so I was worried somewhat that our detergent wasnt making the grade, especially since he somehow got the yeast diaper rash. I talk about our wash routine in "Cloth diapering an infant {logistics};" we had been using unscented Babyganics laundry detergent. She told me that she recommends unscented Rockin Green laundry detergent. I asked her about our homemade laundry detergent, but she said no since I use borax in it, which is somewhat of a question when dealing with the PUL {waterproof cover} on cloth diapers. Rockin Green also makes a Rockin Green Funk Rock Ammonia Bouncer. I asked her if she recommended I use that for a bit and she said she really didnt think I needed that with the problem Im having.

We also discussed the Freetimes. Since I was very confident that the rash started in the first place from the Freetimes {my children have inherited my sensitive skin}, I decided to shelve the Freetimes until much later before trying them again.

I left her store with a plan:
1. disposables and nystatin until the yeast is cleared up
2. wash all my diapers twice on high heat and sun them
3. switch from BabyGanics to Rockin Green detergent
4. put away our Freetimes and stick to Elementals

I was fairly certain that I would be back for the Rockin Green Funk Rock Ammonia Bouncer, but she insisted I wouldnt need it. I went home and followed all the instructions. Baby #4 spent almost a full 2 weeks in disposables. His rash started clearing up immediately when we put him in disposables with nystatin. The diapers were washed and sunned and I used up the last of our BabyGanics on our household laundry, not our diapers.

When we finally put baby #4 back in cloth, the Rockin Green detergent worked amazing. The ammonia smell that I noticed went away. She was right that we did not need the Funk Rock. I have been exceedingly pleased with the Rockin Green. {Maybe too pleased. I flew through our first bag because I started washing all of our household laundry in it, just to experiment with its cleaning capabilities.} We kept the rest of our wash routine the same because we really didnt have issues with our diaper laundry.

Of course in a house of 6, mistakes are made. Baby #4 accidentally ended up in our remaining Freetime {I swapped the other Freetime for an Elemental on a local b/s/t page}. When I went to change him, his bottom was covered in rash. Thankfully we caught the error quickly and have not put him back in a Freetime. I do believe that his skin reacts badly to the Freetime liners. I am going to trade my last Freetime for an Elemental. We only had the 2 Freetimes because they dry quicker than the Elementals, but I pulled out all the used Elementals I bought on a swap page {11 used diapers} plus the new Elementals Ive bought for baby #4 {10 new diapers} and so our stash is large enough to support using Elementals exclusively, even with a longer drying time {21 Elementals total}.

Having the box of disposables in the house from the yeast has actually been handy. Weve had some colds pass through the house and the craziness of getting ready to move again has lead to days of forgetting to either do or move the laundry, which is a problem since for some reason I only have one night diaper {a problem I plan to remedy}. When we move this time, we are going to be traveling for a couple months before settling in our new state, so we will be using disposables during that time. It has made me reluctant to invest in more cloth diapers for the time being, even though we will resume cloth once we settle.

Have you had to deal with yeast and cloth diapers? Have you had to use disposables while cloth diapering? What are your cloth diaper troubleshooting tips? :)

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quick pregnancy weight loss | Morning Sickness and my first trimester

quick pregnancy weight loss

Before we begin I think I should do a little disclaimer.  Firstly, this post is not meant to scare anyone or put anyone off having children. This is just a truthful and honest account of the first few weeks of my pregnancy.  Secondly, I cannot emphasise enough how happy, blessed and ecstatic I am to be pregnant.  So whilst my first trimester may have been tough, I wouldnt change a bit of it.  OK, I would like less sickness, but you get my point. 

For the first six weeks of my pregnancy I felt absolutely fine.  I had that amazing feeling of being pregnant and keeping it a secret from the whole world.  I couldnt quite believe that it had happened and pretty much day dreamed about our little new addition all day.  Happy days. Then I hit six weeks.  It was almost to the count of midnight on that sixth week that the nausea started.  I can deal with this, I thought. Ive done it once, I can do it again. 

Whichever idiot came up with the word morning sickness has alot to answer for.  Its like saying morning pregnancy, lunchtime marriage, teatime mum.  Exactly.  These things are not limited to one time of day and neither is morning sickness. Though it would do me a huge favour if it were. 

To begin with I had a constant feeling of being nauseas and feeling like I was going to be sick.  I struggled to eat because I didnt want to worsen the horrible sicky feeling. Combined with a horrible metallic taste in my mouth it wasnt good. I relieved the taste by frequently spitting, and my dad even commented I should have a spit bucket because he had saw me do it that often.  Nice. 

To make my myself feel better I would go to bed at a ridiculous time, like 6.30pm because I couldnt stand the sickness feeling.  I would rather be asleep than be awake and experience it. The nausea gradually got worse though, to the point where I felt sick in my sleep and I felt I had no respite from it.  I forced myself to do my everyday tasks but really struggled.  I went past caring how I looked to take and collect my daughter from pre-school, but I think on one particular occasion they hardly recognised me as her mum. Sad times. 

By around 9 weeks the nausea had progressed to me actually being sick, at any time of day, but mainly in the morning and any-time past 3pm. And this is how it has been for the last 5 weeks.  It has really got me down. And the I have felt guilty that it has got me down when I should be really happy.  And then I have felt guilty for not being a good mum to my toddler or good wife to my husband. I just didnt feel like me anymore. 

Whilst my life revolved around either running to the toilet or lying on the toilet floor, my daughter had to either sit next to me playing with her toys or sit watching TV.  I felt so awful and I felt like a terrible mum.  My husband suffered too (though obviously not as much as me).  To start with he had to listen to my constant vomiting, normally when he was eating his tea.  And then there was the fact he hardly saw me.  When he got home from work I was usually in my pjs and lay in bed, crying.  And thats the other thing.  I am a definite crier when I am ill.  I just cant help it.  So you can imagine how many times Ive cried.  Oh no, you cant actually, because Ive cried so much I think I now hold the world record. 

Through all of this, we hadnt told any friends we were expecting as we wanted to wait until our 12 week scan.  I lied to one friend that I had a sickness bug.  I lied to another that I was really busy and couldnt possibly meet her for lunch.  I then worried that when I did feel better I would have no friends left. 

But for the last week, I have felt different.  The nausea is still there but I am definitely vomiting less.  My energy is returning and I am able to do things that I wouldnt dream of doing a few weeks ago.  I also feel like me again which is amazing. 

I know everyones pregnancy is very different, but I wanted to share my experience. I think feeling so awful at the start of pregnancy is really at odds with how we think it should be.  We imagine feeling fabulous, looking glowing and being so happy and excited. And whilst I was happy and excited, feeling so ill really impacted how I felt emotionally. If anyone is going through the same, hang on in there.  It does get better. You will get through it. I also think I didnt realise how guilty I would feel for feeling absent from my toddler and absent from my husband and friends.  With hormones all over the place and constant crying it has been tough.  But I think everyone whos had to put up with me is sighing with relief that Im feeling more myself. Everyone accept my daughter who unfortunately has now perfected a horrible vomiting noise and I think is actually quite disappointed she cant watch the TV much now.  

Whilst I may hold that record for most amount of tears shed, I plan to break that record with happy tears when I get to hold my second baby in November. Hello second trimester, Im ready for you. 

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